Become more confident. You can appear more confident by having a straighter posture, smiling, and making eye contact with people while you talk with them. Don’t continually self deprecate or be overly critical on yourself. Think about all the positives about your personality, and work to improve in the areas that you lack.
But for love to blossom in the first place, you need to build the sexual attraction before you make him fall in love with you. It’s the safest way to make sure the guy falls for you and stays in love with you. [Read: The 7 stages of love for men]
Never let money stop you from doing something you desire. You don’t have a lack of finances; you have a lack of ideas. Tap into your desires and upgrade to the next level. Ask yourself, “How much will this cost me if I do not invest in it?”
Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit gettingrelationshipsright.com for more resources to help your relationships.
Knee, C. R. (1998). Implicit theories of relationships: Assessment and prediction of romantic relationship initiation, coping, and longevity. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74, 360–370.
So if you want to attract a man and make him desire you, you just need to get his attention the right way. And the rest, as they say, is history! [Read: 22 ways to get a guy’s attention in any circumstance]
Whether you are walking, standing, or sitting, it is essential that you become comfortable in making the space you occupy all your own, whether you are alone or with others. To do this, you must not give any impression of discomfort, i.e., downcast eyes or self hugging. Instead, be “in the present” and enjoy your surroundings right now. This is what it means to own your space. It’s all about stopping to smell the roses, so to speak. Another way of putting it is: You have to become totally at ease in choosing to make yourself the queen of your space. Frankly, in any given moment, the area you occupy really does belong to you, so use it generously. You are much more likely to attract the right man if you appear to be someone who feels relaxed in her own skin.
Men are picky when it comes to dating. If you are single and out there dating, I am sure you are very aware of just how choosy men are. Women are particular too, but somehow the men seem to be worse. Usually, men have an idea in their head of a type of gal to whom they are attracted, and either you fit the mold or you don’t. However, occasionally a man will fall for a girl who is outside of his wheelhouse. Wouldn’t it be great if you could be that woman who could attract ANY GUY (within reason of course)?
If it’s up to a man to protect and provide for his woman and family, what is it that he wants and needs from her in return? Simply put, a woman’s beauty and grace attracts a man and is often demonstrated in her innate ability as a nurturer or caretaker.
► Physical attractiveness: Men like beautiful and sexy women. However, beauty and sexiness depend upon the way a woman carries herself. Elegance plays a huge role in enhancing everything about a woman. Of course, body type, fragrance, dress etc come into play.
A good relationship is like a dance. It requires two people giving their all and learning the steps to work with each other so they don’t crush a lot of toes. And like a good dance, there are steps you can take in your relationship to help make it flow smoothly, and keep you from stepping all over your partner by accident.
I agree with the above comment. It does seem like a lot of people are focused on perfection and discard a relationship that could potentially work with some minor adjustments too easily. Related to this is that it also seems people throw the word “compatibility” around as an excuse for breaking off a relationship. But that word by itself is too vague. Compatibility can be issues like wanting kids or not to weekend hobbies. It’s so easy for people to use compatibility to justify getting out of a relationship because it’s not perfect.
Play hard to get. The worst thing you can do is to smother a guy or appear desperate. Men are attracted to the thrill of the chase, so if you’re chasing after him, you’re taking away the challenge. Keep it low-key and keep him on the edge of his seat. Maintain your composure. Your outward indifference may make him want you more.
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Next time you’re feeling fretfully single, try exploring your own nature: Write down your favorite foods or colors or songs or books or sports. Visit a therapist. Embark on a voyage of self-discovery for its own sake and because it is on that journey that you are likely to bump into the perfect traveling companion.
I received a lot of comments and feedback about two articles that I published last year: “Why Women Can’t Find a Good Man” and “Why Are Men Frustrated With Dating?”. Most of the commentary, beyond venting of frustrations on both sides, was asking for strategies to find a “good” partner. I have partially answered that question in my many articles (see the archives).
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I’ve been absolutely blessed to have been watching Rachael Ray when Matt was a guest on the show. I signed up for emails the same hour his segment finished airing. Though I never signed up for the thorough and elaborate step by step process, I’ve learned quite a bit about myself as well as how others and men perceive me. After leaving my husband of 6 years (not long but long enough), I had men asking me out one after the other. Six guys in a four week period wanted to date ME! ME, of all people. I declined five out of the six because I didn’t NEED a man, nor every date possible. The only one I didn’t decline is such a wonderful, caring, and handsome 😉 man that values me. For once, I’ve found someone that brings as much to the table as I do. I was a very clingy, disgustingly desperate feeling woman in the beginning, but I’ve discovered that I AM VALUABLE just as I am. I’m a slightly heavy woman, not obese, but curvy, and I’m with the most fit, trim, gorgeous, kindhearted, and romantic man I’ve ever met. He’s nearly straight from a romance novel. If I hadn’t found you, Matt, I’m sure I would still be the same lonely and needy woman that I once was. Thank you for everything.
Wonderful post! I think if I could have applied this wisdom from a younger age I would not have all the relationship problems I’ve been experiencing again and again. Thanks for helping me feel there is definitely a way to not feel desperate, now I have hope. Jean X
The solution – figuring out what is desired and where to get it. Create a rough “job description” for a good partner. Figure out where that type of person can be found. Look for those characteristics and test people on them. Continue to enjoy dating – but don’t forget the end goal either!
I am a 32-yr-old female, and I have to admit that the majority of this article is dead on. I am a mixed bag, honestly. I am a bit tomboyish (I LOVE watching football!), yet if the right man roots deep enough I am actually extremely submissive. I am short (5 ft tall), curvy, graceful, and demure and yet I am also strong of mind and very intelligent (I am in my final semester of undergraduate biochemistry studies). I was raised by an uber-dominant female so I remember I emulated her for a while, but then realized that ultra-feminism did not suit me at all. I have been serious with a natural alpha male for a few years now and we have a bruiser of a son. He brings out the feminine and submissive side of me, honestly. I was drawn to his confidence, and even though I was employed as a line cook in a restaurant at the time, he saw through the “tough” facade immediately. It’s like a light clicked on. I may not wear frills or dresses, but my shyness and soft-spoken nature give me away as a feminine creature. I may not wear dresses, but I still dress to attract him even after these years, and I LOVE being close to him and feeling his large presence whenever he gives me a hug or kiss and I feel so safe in his arms.
I am a single mother of 3. I made the wrong choices in men. I have always been a hard independent working mother and always will put my children first. I got out of a relationship that turned out to be abusive and couldn’t stand the evironment around my children and wasn’t a healthy relationship. Oh believe me, I told his mother to come get him cause he was a mommies boy and just couldn’t seem to grow up. Men puts on that first impression so he can get u and after your with them for a while, their true colors come out. Everyone has their flaws but watch the red flags!
It could be your curves. It could be your eyes, your lips, your legs, or any other physical feature. The point is you’re beautiful just the way you are and being comfortable in your own skin and making a man feel at ease when he’s around you because you’re at ease with yourself is what really matters.
I always wonder why some women walk down the pathway the wrong side (in the office or elsewhere, I notice that behaviour mostly from women), should a gentleman get out of her path Or make her move over to the other side? What do women think of men who let them have their way and those that don’t move over to accommodate them?
In the magnetic woman tribe, we don’t do snobby, bitchy or “I’m an entitled princess” attitudes. All that comes from a place of weakness (the attitude of the 95 percent). Instead, we value women (the 5 percent) who come from a place of confidence, poise and inner strength. Women who know they are worth it deserve it, expect it and receive it. They encourage and support other women to come from that place of power.
That’s better than nothing, I guess. But, people with (authentic) high self-esteem are naturally happy and confident and naturally like other people so they naturally do all that anyway. Most people can spot someone trying to fake self-confidence and/or happiness.
You might or might not be surprised to know that a lot of has to do with your internal mental state. Your internal mental state is what comes across as your “vibe” and overall “persona” that you give off to men. When you are in a bad mood, for example, even if you pretend not to be, it comes across to him.
Men can detect that the office interaction is a little sour or frigid. How to become great, gorgeous and sweet, and use flirting, charisma and creating the setting, so that men might make passes at you at least once a day and have suitors in the office occasionally walking around you. Take care of your body with good nutrition, hygiene and exercise; why not? Use a beautician and fashion stylist to optimize your looks.
It’s really been eating at me lately, to the extent that I don’t even want to spend time with my local friend for fear of somehow ‘leading him on’ or hurting him, even though he’s a really close and good friend.
I realize this may not be comfortable for you, but if you take baby steps and find a way to get truly comfortable “letting go” you will notice how much this turns a man on. Do what feels natural, not what you think you are “supposed to do.”