Something I’ve learned, which I think is true for both men and women, is that there are two sides of attraction. The obvious, conventional attraction is that one has towards the masculinity/feminity of the opposite sex. However, the full spectrum of attraction & sexual/romantic fulfillment relates to ones own “self attraction” to their masculine/feminine sexual energies and how their partner brings those out. I’ve found that when it comes to turning a girl on, often it is equally important for me to make her feel beautiful, sexy, and seductive as it is for me to put effort into being the source of her attraction. Partly through compliments, but moreso through body queues that let her feed off my passion & attraction for her beauty & femininity, which stimulates her attraction towards her own sexuality. Both women & men are almost equally attracted to their own masculine/feminine sexual energies as they are to the opposite sexes. The naive may say, “A man being attracted to masculinity? That’s gay!”, but there’s a large difference between a man wanting to form a relationship & have sex with other men than being attracted to the way a woman makes him feel about his own masculinity & sexuality. Hence, why many enjoy having sex in a mirror or watching themselves on a porno vs having eyes on your partner alone.
Never leave, hang up, or sign off angry. One thing that happens a lot after the honeymoon period, is that you’ll notice little things your significant other does that bother you. Don’t call her out on them, it will cause a fight and you don’t want that.
But yeah, I agree — drop your hobbies. Go out to some bars/taverns after work once in a while, and sip on some super-light beer. Be more social in your work environment connect with others there, too.
Take one recent finding that runs entirely counter to popular wisdom. As the undisputed emotional champion of any relationship, women are supposed to profess their love first. But a group of researchers led by psychologist Joshua Ackerman of MIT found the axiom to be dead wrong. Their surveys of twenty- and thirtysomethings revealed that men say “I love you” first 60 to 70 percent of the time. They even thought about saying it a full six weeks before their mate did. It took about as much time for women to catch up to their men emotionally, in other words, as it took Hemingway to complete The Sun Also Rises.
I love both of these men, but the guy out of state is the one I feel emotionally and sexually drawn to. I know, on paper, that it makes much more sense to date the local man, but I don’t feel those feelings for him. So how does one make logical choices when faced with intense emotional feelings? I can’t see myself dating my local friend when I don’t feel sexually or emotionally attracted to him, but I worry that I don’t have those feelings for him because there’s something wrong with me.
A downside: the book directs you to online videos for more “secrets” which are really just teasers which lead you to another video they want you to pay for. I can see this as being an endless goose chase designed to keep you hooked & shelling out money while learning very little. I’d have more respect for the author & brand if they took a less scam-like approach. The video they want you to buy has a long intro to sell it which does the classic “play on women’s insecurities & promise grand secrets to solve all of their romance problems in a matter of days” approach, one which many dating gurus do. I find it borderline insulting & I naturally expect it to under-deliver with super obvious “insight” repeated ad nauseam just as the rest seem to. This approach is unfortunate & detracts from a brand that has the potential to be more positive & actually useful, as opposed to the insulting junk I described at the outset.
I have heard Matthew Hussey speak on the radio and I was looking forward to reading his book, bu I was dissapointed to learn that after every chapter I had to sign in to the websiteand become a paid member in order to look t th video that accompanied each chapter……I felt thi was more of a pay as you go long “help book” than anyhing else…….I was extremely dissapointed and expected more from the author…….
3. Music Clubs. Next Saturday night take a bunch of your girlfriends to a nightclub that hosts local bands. You’ll find them right up on stage: clusters of men, pouring their hearts out, trying to impress you. But don’t get too seduced by musical talent. Tortured artists are dazzling on stage, but can be a drag in real life. On the other hand, a nice middle manager (during the day) indulging in some innocent rock-star fantasies (by night) could be just the ticket. The big drawback of music clubs, of course, is that the noise level can make it hard to hold a conversation. But if you say, “Hey, fantastic set!” he’ll hear you.
So change often, become the dream girl you fantasize about in your head, and be the girl you really want to be. And life will turn out to be so much better for you, be it about men, work, friends or anything else.
4. Chat and flirt with everything that moves, employing these specific strategies, types of come-ons, text messages and actions (which may totally seem like gamesmanship and manipulation, but trust the author, it’s not).
Mat is dedicated to increasing Love in the world one heart at a time. Mat’s appeared on dozens of national media venues including: The Today Show, CNN Headline News, The Style Network, Fox News, CNN Showbiz Tonight, ABC Family, Oprah and Friends XM, the Hallmark Channel, and many more.
Never let money stop you from doing something you desire. You don’t have a lack of finances; you have a lack of ideas. Tap into your desires and upgrade to the next level. Ask yourself, “How much will this cost me if I do not invest in it?”
If you are sexually/romantically attracted to boys/men (and not girls/women), you are gay. If you’re young and not yet sure who you’re attracted to, that’s fine. It can take a while for some people to figure out their sexual orientation. Check out How to Know if You Are Gay.
The explanations of male thinking is also not “boys will be boys” trash that insists sexist and misogynistic behaviors are simply “biological” for men & have to be tolerated by women. Instead of making excuses, the author manages to be honest & fair in describing common male mindsets & how & why certain negative attitudes/behaviors are triggered (much as stereotypical female negative behaviors can be triggered by crappy moves on a guys’ part). Since a relationship is a dynamic, it’s only fair to adjust what you can control – yourself. So you learn very subtle methods to hone your social & dating skill to basically COMMUNICATE in a way that men in general will grasp correctly.
Response: What good is accepting something that is a failure? How effective is bringing out the best in something that is a failure? No one is perfect nor can someone be perfect. Listen, turn him into what you want him to be, but, do it right. The process won’t always work because some people are to ignorant to believe that they should be better for you, but if they are willing, then it is possible. The thing is you aren’t perfect either, but relationships are all about two individuals benefiting each other. This means that you both are going to mold each other, although, one may be making more of an impact than the other.
I’m sorry to hear your boyfriend cheated on you. I hope it’s a one time thing, that he’s truly sorry, and it never happens again. Unfortunately, people who cheat often cheat again. Of course there are plenty of exceptions to that rule and I hope your boyfriend is one of them.
There’s little doubt that men and women think differently and see the world from two entirely different perspectives. Men expect to be influenced by women when they are in a relationship and they even WANT to be influenced by you, but there’s a right way and a wrong way to go about trying to influence a man if you want to become irresistible to him.
The book is described as providing dating tips that still let *you* be *you*, and don’t require any gamesmanship to meet and keep a quality man; neither claim turns out to be true. In a nutshell, the book’s how-to can be boiled down to this:
Nothing annoys me more than someone who tells you not to feel the pain you’re in. Life can be tough – it lets you down, it feels like being punched in the gut on the bad days. But the question now is: How do you get out of it?
Great tips! I have come across many articles that have give all kinds of advices, but none that talk about the aura and owning our space.. these are critical in attracting the right kind of people. You have described everything very clearly and precisely, loved reading your hub! 🙂
Do nice things for them. Think about their desires and what makes them happy, and go out of your way to do it for them. This could be a day at the spa, a new pair of shoes, or a note that you leave for him at his house. Think of what he would like and do it. Small things will add up over time and will help you create a mutual appreciation for one another.
What’s the most attractive way to focus on pleasure? Focus on both your pleasure and his. Make your own pleasure a priority without ignoring the fact that you want him to feel satisfied at the same time.
What do men want in a woman? It may seem like a loaded question, but really the answer is quite simple. While every guy has his own preferences when it comes to the physical–some like blondes, some like brunettes; some like petite, some like curvy–there are several fundamental qualities that all men crave in a woman.
Another way to practice excellent body language is to have awareness of your hands. Are they relaxed, or are they clenched? Tense hands indicate a closed, stubborn, or unhappy personality. Women who seem inflexible make men crazy, and not in a good way. However, if your palms are open and your wrists exposed, this small thing projects a more welcoming aura. In other words, an aura of calmness draws men toward you. Women too, are attracted to men who are relaxed and have who an easy way about them. In fact, everyone is drawn to people whose body language is quietly confident, reassuring and warm.
Many people, however, go into dating without any clear logic or goals. They lead with their feelings only and then wonder why they don’t get anywhere! Sure, there is something to be said for “enjoying the journey”. However, if a person desires to get somewhere specific (e.g. marriage, kids, etc.), then it is very handy to have a map too! Without one, they tend to drive in circles and, not surprisingly, find themselves with the same partners time after time.
Men want to be with a woman who needs them on more than just a superficial level. A man wants to feel like he’s your hero and your protector. If he feels he offers nothing to the relationship that you couldn’t have on your own, then he will leave.
I’m embarrassed to say that I was dumb enough to be conned by a slick snake oil salesman. That’s all he is. A cute , energetic , great salesman. Save your money , you already know all of his so called “secrets” and “tips”.There’s no wonder to me that he himself cannot retain a partner. I bought this and 2 others from his company .What a waste of my hard earned money!!
Men are starved for appreciation. No man is going to come right out and say it, so you’re really going to have to take my word for it. In relationships, women mostly want to feel loved and understood. What men want most is to be appreciated and respected. Rather than focusing on what your man isn’t doing, try to hone in on the good things he is doing (there have to be some).
So in essence, your local “friend” isn’t that attractive, but he provides you with something you’ve been missing. He’s the Beta male, and your LD Boyfriend, with the help of the long-distance itself, was more Alpha. In an odd, indirect way, you were wanting the best of both worlds — much like a gal wanting the “bad boy” to an extent, but also wanting the Nice Guy who gives the feeling of giving more fulfillment.
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This is why the book had some good advice & was worth the read – the basic idea is how to communicate who you are, how you feel, and what you expect accurately & in a way that is understood by men. So it’s not about changing who you are so much as really communicating it more clearly. If you’re the kind of girl whose friends & family & co-workers wonder why you’re single because they think you’re the bees knees, but for someone reason men you meet/briefly date aren’t valuing you the same way, then this might be a helpful read. You’re probably not sending the signals which communicate who YOU are correctly; you’re leaving false & bad impressions. So the book is really about being MORE yourself with communication that others understand & which creates the desired effect.
Make eye contact and smile at the guy you like. Eye contact is necessary when initially trying to get your man’s attention. Eye contact is also an integral part of romance and feeling connected with someone else. If you’re in a public place, and you don’t know the guy, make eye contact first to show him that you’re interested. If he returns the eye contact, smiles in your direction or keeps looking back in your direction, then you should approach him.
Try to stay fresh all the time, and avoid strong perfumes and smells that will irritate rather than attract them to you. Thinking about what scent attracts men we came to the conclusion those are natural scents. The smell of your skin, and freshly washed hair… Every woman has a specific scent, and that is exactly what you should point it out and use to your advantage.
► Composure: Men love nothing more than a woman who can handle situations calmly. No erratic behaviour. No cantankerousness. No yelling. No crazy stuff. I am not denying that some men are irrational. However, those irrational people are not attractive. When a person knows that they’re not always right and are willing to reason, the attractiveness quadruples.
You can hit all the fine points of our age-old mating dance, but if you don’t pull away from the pack, then he might not ever go in for the approach due to the wall of your protective clan. Obviously, if you are alone you need not worry about this one, but if you and the girls or guy friends are out and you see a young buck checking you out, it might be time to take a stroll, which will invite him into your own personal space.
The single women I know are frequently advised, “Stop being so picky,” “Have a better attitude,” and “Lower your standards,” perhaps to the point where they’ll date anyone with a penis and a pulse. I believe this is precisely the wrong approach. Why? Consider our statistical friend, the bell curve. The great bulge in the middle represents areas where you are, well, average. This is also the part of you that could easily be mixed and matched with the largest number of potential mates. The skinnier upper end represents your greatest gifts, the areas where you are most talented and extraordinary. The few people who share your most exceptional characteristics are your tribe, the population that is most likely to contain your heart’s partner.
It’s a fact of life: men and human beings are visual creatures. There are certain things a man is going to respond to whether he wants to or not. I’m only giving you this information to help you… not to offend or be rude, so please
i also totally agree with that article. This person totally understands us men and i just have to say to all the girls here who disagree is that you don´t have to accept the fact that you have to behave different from usual but they should accept the fact that that´s how men are. We just like these kind of girls and even though i don´t hate girls who are self confident i wouldn´t want to date a girl who isn´t the least bit feminin. It´s the same for girls. Girls also have tipical imaginations of how a boy should be and we boys just have to accept this fact wether we like it or not. I just think it´s funny that the girls on this site don´t want to accept it but on the contrary won´t accept a boy for what he is.
Volunteer for an LGBTQ organization or nonprofit. Volunteering for an LGBTQ organization will allow you to meet other gay men that hold similar beliefs and have similar passions for activism. This is also a great way to network with other gay people in your area. Try to tap into different circles of friends so you can find other eligible gay men.