What men want in a woman is someone who is their complement, not their “equal”. Trying to be a man’s equal creates competition and resentment in a relationship. The same is true if a man tries to be a woman’s equal. This may not make sense at first glance, so let’s look at some examples to help clarify the point.
Flirting is much like a smile. It lets a man know you’re interested. It tells a man you accept him and are pleased with him. It makes a man feel at ease around you, thereby making you more approachable and increasing the chance a guy will ask you out.
“It was interesting to see that it wasn’t all men who were conflating love with sex—it was just the short-term-oriented men,” says Ackerman. “There are different kinds of men and they mean different kinds of things when they’re communicating love.”
In short, he wants a woman who sees him as the hero he’s always wanted to be — and when you really get that you just might be shocked at how heroic he truly is in his heart and soul. Ladies, that is the real greatness of a man. For the right reason or cause, he would literally die for you. Now if that’s not a hero, what is?
I’m excited to announce my very first guest blog post! I asked a few of my favorite male bloggers to list three things that attract them to a woman, along with three things that “repel” them. That is, if they were to approach a woman (at a bar, coffeeshop, whatever), what attracts them in the first place, and what turns them off?
Im a successful middle age womean. Six years ago my husband cheated on me. It was devastating. After realizing I no longer loved him, I left the marriage. Now Im interested in dating. But its been a while since Ive dated (18 yrs). I just don’t know how to get the process started. Ive met a few men who seem interested then all of a sudden things go cold. I dont know what Im doing wrong. Do you have any suggestions for me?
Bring your “me” time back to the top of your priority list. Set personal goals (separate from your New Year’s resolutions!) and stick to ’em. Whether you’re focusing on toning your abs or taking new risks with your hairstyles, as 27-year-old New Yorker Sara says, “There is nothing more gratifying than running into him later and having him say, ‘Wow, you look great.'”
You need to keep this in mind though, love and attraction are two completely different things. A guy may find you extremely attractive, yet he may not end up falling in love with you for his own reasons. [Read: 20 reasons why a guy may never like you back]
If you’re asking yourself ‘Well, how do I attract men?’ all the time, that’s a sign of insecurity as well. When a woman walks and talks with confidence, men are attracted instantly. A woman that is confident knows what she is comfortable with, and will strive towards making other people feel good about themselves. She isn’t focused on making herself look amazing, while at the same time undermining her partner. She also takes the first step, if her partner is hesitant. And if you’re insecure about something, believe that a man can smell it from the distance. He can see it in your eyes, your gestures, and your voice. So lose the inhibitions and be confident in yourself and your achievements, and the way you’re going to do this is by always keeping in mind the positive and good things you have in your life.
If it’s up to a man to protect and provide for his woman and family, what is it that he wants and needs from her in return? Simply put, a woman’s beauty and grace attracts a man and is often demonstrated in her innate ability as a nurturer or caretaker.
Yes. I actually just wrote this cliché. I can’t believe I am even writing it but it’s such a concise way to describe one of the most attractive things to most men: a woman who is presentable and one way when she’s interacting with the world but behind closed doors brings out an entirely different wild, sexual side.
Joe Amoia, The Smarter Dating Guy, is the founder and creator of Smarter Dating For Women. For more information visit him online at www.SmarterDatingForWomen.com and while you’re there make sure to sign up for the FR*EE 5 day mini e-course: The 5 Biggest Mistakes Women Make in Dating
There’s a man locally who I’ve known for awhile (including times that we’ve been lovers), who really loves me, treats me well, and is also not pressuring me to be with him, though he’s made it clear that he’s interested.
The solution – honest self-appraisal. It is important for people to know the worth of their contributions in a relationship, as well as the worth of what they desire in return. The two should be roughly equal. This does not have to be an exact tit-for-tat exchange. Nevertheless, the scales should be somewhat balanced to avoid hard feelings and relationship break-down. Relationships that are too one-sided should be avoided. Asking for far more than one is (really) worth should be avoided too.
The predator model of love leads to a hunter’s way of dating: Seek large gatherings of your prey, dangle a false self as bait, wait for an individual to stray from the herd, then pounce on him with all the wit and wile it takes to bring him down. Internet matchmaking services, singles bars, speed dating, personal ads and even blind dating all borrow from this “statistical mass” logic. I’ve seen clients spend years dating this way, entering one briefly exciting, painfully doomed relationship after another. This is not a numbers game. It’s a soul search.
I noticed that when you do hangout with your friends and laugh/joke around you do get a girls attention. For example, when I was at a track meet with my friends 2 girls came up to me and tapped me on the shoulder saying I was cute. Overall, I think girls like when a guy has alot of confidence and is comfortable in his setting.
I always wonder why some women walk down the pathway the wrong side (in the office or elsewhere, I notice that behaviour mostly from women), should a gentleman get out of her path Or make her move over to the other side? What do women think of men who let them have their way and those that don’t move over to accommodate them?
Negativity. Nothing drains me more than a woman who is perpetually negative, with a bad attitude. One of my exes was so keen to rag on her co-workers; it was the bulk of what we’d talk about. She would make fun of these people, if she wasn’t doing that she was worried about how someone wronged her at work… Man, I couldn’t deal. When she would come by, she’d immediately hop into bed and not for any “bounce house” antics either. You don’t realize how much a negative person drains from you until you’ve kicked them to the curb!
But many women have a difficult time harnessing the power of what relationship expert, Kara Oh, refers to in her highly recommended guide, Men Made Easy, as feminine grace. And even if you do realize how to use your own femininity to attract men, not understanding what men want and how they think will leave you utterly confused and feeling hopeless that you’ll never find “the one”.
Love is not just words, man understand that well. But every now and then he likes to be reminded how great he is and how special he had become in his woman’s life. This affirmation is important to keep him engaged and attached to her.
Well I think a lot of single mamas will tell you it’s not easy to date and take care of a young child, so kudos to you! Just so you know, there are a lot of guys out there who will be immature or not ready or willing to take on a woman with a kid. But then, there are those wonderful men who can handle it. These are the men to meet—don’t be afraid to let your dates know you have a child and being a mother (and finding a good father figure) is important to you. I married a man with kids and don’t have any myself, so it was a big transition. But well worth it. Instead of hitting the bars, try meeting guys through friends, church groups, or activities you enjoy. Good luck!
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what “healthy living” means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com. Read More…
Another offensive stereotype: “To a typical feminist, behaving in a demure or coy manner is a sign of weakness. And they can’t accept that a guy finds a cute *and dare, we say it… submissive* girl more attractive than a girl who likes to be a non-girlie girl.”
8. Car Shows. Sure, you’d rather see the new Matisse exhibit; just squint your eyes and pretend it’s abstract art. Guys who are really into cars tend to be very capable and good with their hands, even if they sometimes provide you with more information about your Jetta’s carburetor than you really need. You don’t have to exhibit any particular knowledge of cars, says a frequent visitor to such shows. “Just say ‘Hey, nice car!’ As long as you’re talking, that’s good enough,” he says.
Next time you’re feeling fretfully single, try exploring your own nature: Write down your favorite foods or colors or songs or books or sports. Visit a therapist. Embark on a voyage of self-discovery for its own sake and because it is on that journey that you are likely to bump into the perfect traveling companion.
When you follow this as outlined, it all adds up to something magical. When you embody a love of his Masculinity with your Appreciation for who he is, add in some Gratitude, a Nurturing spirit, an Easy-going nature, an ability to be Trustworthy, and honor his Independence all while captivating him — it all adds up to one thing. The final S is for Soulmate because that’s what you’ll have found.
However, some people don’t pick such balanced relationships. Some repeatedly sell themselves short, giving way more than they get. In the end, these people often feel cheated, unappreciated, and used. Others repeatedly over-estimate their worth, asking for too much. They too end up feeling frustrated, when no one will meet their unrealistic expectations. Thus, both under-valuing and over-valuing one’s self leads to repeated problems in love.
Oh, and about the non-smiling and arm crossing thing…mostly I do this when I’m not in my car and walking around L.A. by myself, so I’m guilty too. Comes from the days of selling postage meters door-to-door in Inglewood and Downey. People didn’t much care for automated postage, and let me know. Go figure.
Finally, always look polished. Wear that bright nail polish on your toes – maybe a luminous hot pink, a blazing orange, or a bright torquoise. Put on those beautiful bracelets that give off a pleasant sound when you gesture with your hands. I’m serious… men ache for these little touches of femininity.
Just how does such a thing work? Well, you’re going to want to remember the acronym “MAGNETICS” and get ready to get loved up! Without further ado, here’s how to make a man fall in love with you in 9 easy steps.
In keeping your back straight and your chin up, you radiate an air of self assurance. We all know that confidence is an exceptionally appealing trait. Even if you don’t feel sure of yourself, keep that spine straight! Long story short, great posture always makes you look more fascinating. If you are not used to holding your head high, do it anyway! Having beautiful posture is a non-negotiable; it is also, without question, one of the traits that men say they notice most about a woman—besides a nice body. But right now, we’re talking about your bearing and your essence, not your lean or curvy body.
Agreed! And let’s face it, every woman is too good for a man. Mainly because they don’t see themselves as superior and don’t abuse men the way men abuse women. Considering all the shit they suffer from men women should be hating them.