There is no greater feeling to a man that that of being truly seen and appreciated for who he is by the woman he cares about. The trouble is a lot of women can’t see past the things he isn’t doing right. And what’s worse is a lot of women will harp on a man over these things, which makes him less inclined to do the things she wants. Instead, it makes him feel like a failure and he will shut down as a result.
Men have an extremely difficult time dealing with their own feelings so when you make a man feel good, you allow him to access feelings he’s rarely able to express. It forces him to want to spend time with you on a deep level he’s rarely even consciously aware of.
The predator model of love leads to a hunter’s way of dating: Seek large gatherings of your prey, dangle a false self as bait, wait for an individual to stray from the herd, then pounce on him with all the wit and wile it takes to bring him down. Internet matchmaking services, singles bars, speed dating, personal ads and even blind dating all borrow from this “statistical mass” logic. I’ve seen clients spend years dating this way, entering one briefly exciting, painfully doomed relationship after another. This is not a numbers game. It’s a soul search.
If it’s up to a man to protect and provide for his woman and family, what is it that he wants and needs from her in return? Simply put, a woman’s beauty and grace attracts a man and is often demonstrated in her innate ability as a nurturer or caretaker.
Follow those four simple steps and success is assured. Here’s an actual excerpt from the book—I’m not kidding. If you’re drinking anything, put the cup down *now* or your keyboard will be drenched in a few seconds:
I know that the simple answer to my situation would be to just ‘get a life’ bt even that does not stopped me from obssessing about my boyfriend, i would be out having fun but the minute i walk into my door i call him up, its pathetic.
I’ve always found powerful women irresistible. Kissinger was right; power is the greatest aphrodisiac, and nothing is sexier than a woman who owns (not rents or leases with an option to buy) her personal sense of power.
2) Work – People who work together tend to share many common bonds and interests. Part of this is because working together allows individuals to get to know each other and establish a base line friendship before moving into a relationship.
Asking for and expecting it from those around you is the first step. The more you do it, the stronger that irresistible energy becomes. People will start feeling it too and soon, you won’t even have to ask anymore.
I think I may just be a little clingy to my boyfriend lately. My bf and I have bn together for 2years now. Being in a long-distance relationship we have naturally always wanted 2 feel like we are together all the time, we spend most, if not all, of our free time chatting online or watchng same movies at the same time etc.
Response: Honestly, it depends on the man. I personally can be pretty selfless in nature, this is because I don’t like to be ignorant. Being selfless is something that helps me in not being ignorant, so I find it to be a very good trait for others to have, being insecure can be a helpful thing and creating false confidence in yourself can be dangerous. It isn’t bad to have confidence and be secure in yourself when you are in a position that makes you feel like that, as long as you don’t let it all get to your head and you begin to undermind others. It is expected that people who aren’t secure in their knowledge of how others will respond to them will seek out how to elicit a response from others that they desire. That is how being insecure helps you find answers because you must understand that you don’t know everything, so you can’t be confident in yourself if you really don’t know what you must do.
“A practical guide to understanding a man’s point of view about love and romance and how a woman can optimize self-esteem and integrity to find the love she deserves.” (Judith Orloff, MD, New York Times best-selling author of Emotional Freedom)
Sometimes men lie to women because they feel telling the truth will cause you to freak out and go into emotional overload which men aren’t equipped to handle. For example, if you constantly question where he’s at or who he is with, then he will tend to lie because it’s easier (and less scary) than having you potentially get upset or unload on him over nothing.
The solution – stop the chase. Realize that just because something is hard to get, doesn’t mean it is worth the effort. No one is worth running after. It is better to find someone who will meet you in the middle.
Never leave, hang up, or sign off angry. One thing that happens a lot after the honeymoon period, is that you’ll notice little things your significant other does that bother you. Don’t call her out on them, it will cause a fight and you don’t want that.
Yes, physical attractiveness is very important to men, but it’s much more important to men prowling for a fling—who, studies show, tend to be younger men—than those after a steady mate. Yes, many men want younger women, but most of those reside on the short-term half of the spectrum; long-term guys tend to prefer women around their own age. Yes, men like the hourglass figure, but while they focus on the body over the face when looking for sex, the reverse is true for men looking for a relationship, studies report. (Women focus on the face either way.)
I understand the instinct to compare yourself to other women and to other people in general. Maybe you see another woman and you think to yourself, “if only I had ….” (insert whatever it is that you wish you could change about yourself that she has).
A man likes beauty he can feel not see. A beautiful woman who is insecure about her looks is a big turn off for any man. If a woman is confident about the way she looks, she will stay stunning in her man’s eyes no matter how much she ages.
Great article! I totally agree. The cuteness of a woman can tame a man’s heart and lust to find other women out there, but of course beeing sexy too. To those women that disagree with this article, stop beeing so dominant. Men are physically and etc. stronger than us women, they dont need a tougher spouse to live with, let them be the men and u be the woman a.k.a queen/princess. Are how is that? Politeness, funny, shyness, cuteness, sexyness. If u want to be the stronger spouse in the relationship, they will surely not stay long with u since it is in their nature that they are the ones who should feel masculine and strong and have responsibilities to protect and love his gf/wife. They want to feel that they are wanted, so let them lead and u as woman relax and enjoy. (Not talking bout the cooking and cleanin though lol)
If you genuinely have fun and are happy, this automatically makes you more attractive to men. Men are attracted to happy women who can laugh a lot and are happy. Don’t fake it; this comes off as fake and won’t be attractive.
If you like a trait about a friend, be it her spontaneity, her courage, her carefree attitude, her posture, or the way she dresses up, your mind may subconsciously like that trait because you want to see that trait in yourself. A change of this kind is good, where you see something you like and want to see that in yourself. [Read: Why inner beauty is far more important than outer beauty]
Make a vow to never be cheap with yourself ever again. Ignore prices on menus. Stop waiting for sales. Invest in yourself at the highest level possible, whatever that looks like for you. Don’t be irresponsible with your finances, but stop denying yourself pleasures that will make you feel special and successful. You are both.
Oh, and about the non-smiling and arm crossing thing…mostly I do this when I’m not in my car and walking around L.A. by myself, so I’m guilty too. Comes from the days of selling postage meters door-to-door in Inglewood and Downey. People didn’t much care for automated postage, and let me know. Go figure.

But to call this desire universal is to ignore a great deal of competing information. While men in developed societies go numb for sinuous curves, those in many developing countries surrender to a larger, more parallel contour. Plumpness may be a sign of poor health in the West, but elsewhere it’s a sign that a woman has access to money and food. Some cultures even prefer a body type that health experts consider clinically overweight. And when a man changes culture, he adjusts his preferred measurements accordingly.
Men want to feel manly and significant. They want to provide for you, it’s just their nature to be that way. However, a man will only want to give to a woman who can happily receive what he has to offer, not one who is going to make unnecessary demands in order to feel good about herself and secure in the relationship. A woman who tries to get this assurance from the outside will always be unsatisfied and there is nothing more unappealing to a man than an unhappy woman.
I am white. Before dating me, my man dated many Asian women. He is still friends with a few of them. I always felt a little frustrated by this. If he liked blondes, I could dye my hair. I cannot change my ethnic background!
There were some things that were right, but others that were just your opinion or thought. Plenty of men are turned on by and love a strong (confident not muscley) proud woman who takes charge and exudes sexiness. You can still be flurty and cute without tilting your head down like a moron.
Have you ever wondered why some women that seem to you as average looking score some of the hottest dates? Why do you, a solid ‘8’, have not as much success as the average ‘5s’ do? Of course, every taste is different and it is hard to judge beauty on an objective scale, but different tastes are not necessarily the main reason for some women being more popular than others among the opposite sex. The main aspect driving successful dating and romantic relationships are forces of attraction. How to become a man magnet? Below you will find five factors that contribute to high attractiveness:
And our motives for sex have diversified (as have women’s)—a reality Hatfield now calls “one of our planet’s most important new developments.” We want sex, but sometimes we want it to enhance the emotional relationship. We want to say “I love you” before you do, some of us; we want to race you to love, and win. We want to love you so much that when we see a pretty face we think it’s less pretty than we would if we didn’t love you.
Being well-rounded also includes being a global citizen who invests in learning about different cultures and countries. Nothing expands your mind faster than traveling the world to discover the best other cultures have to offer.
The result: She met tons of smart, funny and fascinating… women. “Don’t get me wrong,” says Marla. “I’m really glad I did all of that stuff. I made some wonderful friends and expanded my horizons. My new pursuits nourished my soul, but I have to say they did zip for my love life.”
You may already be aware of a number of these, but it doesn’t hurt to be reminded of them! Firstly, when you’re out with your friends do not laugh excessively at every joke men make, dance too sexily or get too drunk!
Women need not move to Mpolweni to find such flexibility in action. Even among developed societies, shape preferences vary sharply. In countries like Britain or Denmark, where women have achieved social and economic independence, a low waist-to-hip ratio is less important to men than it is in places where women rely more heavily on men for resource acquisition, such as Greece or Portugal, Swami and other researchers find. The more resources a woman can gather on her own, the less men care whether or not her figure conforms to the supposed ideal.
One of those very first steps of courtship, dating, and mating is getting noticed by a potential lover. Sometimes, however, those first steps are the most difficult. How do you get that hot guy at the bar to come over and say hello? How do you get the cute gal at the coffee shop to smile and chat? Many people struggle with those questions – and miss potential romance as a result.
The longer a man stays long-term, the more in touch with his emotional side he may get. The Kinsey Institute recently conducted an international survey of more than 1,000 middle-age couples who had, on average, been together 25 years. The researchers measured each partner’s relationship and sexual satisfaction on a number of variables. Some of the findings were obvious—sexual functioning, for instance, was strongly related to male sexual satisfaction—but others were highly unexpected.
And another thing that bother me about “feminists or overly strong women ” … Is why so extreme in their opinions ….. I have opinions but I love hearing other opinions why r u so mad if u obviously must have googled how to be more attractive to men haha 🙂
After a few months, maybe casually bring it up. Always have a talk about it before trying ANYTHING. She’ll want to talk about it. Especially if she’s seen how you care for her, and would never use her for anything.
it is very hard for a good man like myself to connect with a good woman, and the times that we are living in today just makes it much more difficult. women are much more picky when it comes to relationships, and it is hard for me to approach a woman that i am very attracted too since they will tell you not to bother them. i had this happen to me already, and i thought that my approach was good. the attitude of many women have certainly changed for the worse over the years that i have noticed, and that really makes it much more difficult as well. years ago it was much easier meeting women even for me since i was a lot more younger than today. i was married at one time before my wife of 15 years cheated on me, and i was a very caring and loving husband that was very committed to her. now that i am in my late fifties, i find it very difficult meeting a woman that can accept me for who i am since many women today are looking for a man with a very large bank account.
A downside: the book directs you to online videos for more “secrets” which are really just teasers which lead you to another video they want you to pay for. I can see this as being an endless goose chase designed to keep you hooked & shelling out money while learning very little. I’d have more respect for the author & brand if they took a less scam-like approach. The video they want you to buy has a long intro to sell it which does the classic “play on women’s insecurities & promise grand secrets to solve all of their romance problems in a matter of days” approach, one which many dating gurus do. I find it borderline insulting & I naturally expect it to under-deliver with super obvious “insight” repeated ad nauseam just as the rest seem to. This approach is unfortunate & detracts from a brand that has the potential to be more positive & actually useful, as opposed to the insulting junk I described at the outset.