Be yourself. If a man/woman doesn’t like you for who you are, then they need to go be with someone they do like. Maybe you don’t like awkward silences so you fill them in. That’s part of who you are. Maybe you tend to plan it advance, part of who you are, you cant help it. Don’t bother reading or listening to this, people will be attracted to who you really are, not who this guy tells you to pretend to be.
Completely, personally I feel perfectly fine being feminine/cute and still maintaining my strengths/including career accomplishments and abilities to work hard in a variety of different fields (that may be labeled more or less masculine or feminine)
First off, you have to be sure your friend is gay or bi, or he won’t want to have sex with you at all. If that’s the case, communication is key. Be frank and serious about it, but also make sure he knows that you’ll be gentle and let him set the pace. Make sure he feels safe, secure, and relaxed with you.
“It was interesting to see that it wasn’t all men who were conflating love with sex—it was just the short-term-oriented men,” says Ackerman. “There are different kinds of men and they mean different kinds of things when they’re communicating love.”
Bring your “me” time back to the top of your priority list. Set personal goals (separate from your New Year’s resolutions!) and stick to ’em. Whether you’re focusing on toning your abs or taking new risks with your hairstyles, as 27-year-old New Yorker Sara says, “There is nothing more gratifying than running into him later and having him say, ‘Wow, you look great.'”
Cue the incoherence. Nearly 70 percent of men agreed to visit the lady’s apartment, and 75 percent accepted the sexual proposition. At least one man asked why wait until the night. Another checked his mental calendar and said he couldn’t today but what about tomorrow. Another who refused on account of being married apologized for having to refuse on account of being married. Meanwhile just half the men agreed to go out sometime. Extrapolating the finding to the real world means that on any given first date, the man would sooner sleep with the hostess than dine with his companion.
it’s natural instincts. Men evolved to want to protect/provide because women are physically weaker, and so would have a hard time protecting themselves/kids. Also, Japanese women have jobs, and they still act feminine. And a man would have had to be aggressive and dominant to hunt, and to protect children/women. (who are physically weaker) If a women is all masculine, it makes her less attractive, because that’s not what a man instinctively wants in a woman. Why would a man be attracted to a woman that shows traits of someone with high testosterone? And how would that trigger his protective instincts in any way whatsoever?
A book which is founded on ideas about good communication & keeping integrity is one whose advice I feel I can trust & recommend. It has a “win-win” approach that doesn’t degrade men or women – how to get what you desire/need while giving someone else what they desire/need too. Building mutually satisfying relationships is the goal, not manipulating your dream man into marrying you (blech – what an idea!).
Northwestern University psychologists Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel recently arranged a speed-dating event for 163 university guys and gals and had them indicate beforehand what they wanted in a mate: attractiveness, earning potential, or personality qualities. The men—no surprise—overwhelmingly said they wanted looks. But when they got to the table something changed. Eastwick and Finkel discovered that pre-event ideals failed to predict a person’s true romantic interests.
Also, I find ironic that being demure and coy are now sought after qualities by men, when I have been criticized so much growing up for being soft-spoken and shy. ( I’ve become much more assertive over the years). Maybe being demure isn’t so attractive on western women?
“The reason a guy gets hooked on one woman is not because she is *just sexy*, or *just playful*, or *just certain*, or *just feminine*, or *just bursting with integrity*, but because she possesses a unique combination of traits: the girl who is warm, has integrity, and can charm his family, then rips his clothes off in the bedroom and is a sexual goddess; the girl who is playful with his friends, can debate politics like a pro, but knows how to enjoy a lazy Sunday watching movies and eating pizza; the girl who is independent, kicks ass out in the world, but is feminine and loving with her man. Women like this cause an alarm to go off inside a guy’s head and heart. Keep her, he thinks. This one’s amazing!”
I’ve heard men say, “It almost seemed as if she floated across the room, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.” That is the kind of attention you want to aim for. Wherever you happen to be, when you are walking, if you’re not owning that space, something is wrong. Walking well gives you “presence” and charisma. A quality man is attracted to a woman who walks beautifully. When you are in “best walk” mode, rest assured, you are turning heads. A focused, yet relaxed stride is a valuable and easy tool you must use to get him to notice you right away. Do not walk too slowly, or too fast… just a good even stride.
Many women treat men in ways that diminish their egos, making them feel inadequate. Men would rather have more praise, more acknowledgment of what they do right, and more acknowledgment that they are great guys who are loved and appreciated. Women think men do not need them, and do not value their opinion, their support, or their praise. Women also think men do not care about many things that are important to women, which is why they criticize. Criticism can be a way to verbalize resentment.
If you focus on being in the best possible mood you can be while you’re around him, your vibe will automatically be good. And when your vibe is good, he’ll feel good around you – which he needs in order to want to be around you more.
I understand the instinct to compare yourself to other women and to other people in general. Maybe you see another woman and you think to yourself, “if only I had ….” (insert whatever it is that you wish you could change about yourself that she has).
This is why the book had some good advice & was worth the read – the basic idea is how to communicate who you are, how you feel, and what you expect accurately & in a way that is understood by men. So it’s not about changing who you are so much as really communicating it more clearly. If you’re the kind of girl whose friends & family & co-workers wonder why you’re single because they think you’re the bees knees, but for someone reason men you meet/briefly date aren’t valuing you the same way, then this might be a helpful read. You’re probably not sending the signals which communicate who YOU are correctly; you’re leaving false & bad impressions. So the book is really about being MORE yourself with communication that others understand & which creates the desired effect.
You don’t have to change yourself just to attract men, but change yourself to become a better you. Have you ever walked into a room full of attractive women, and found yourself thinking that a few of those girls were better than you in some way? When you meet a woman and find yourself in awe of her for any reason at all, it only means you admire and want some particular trait of hers that you lack yourself.
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There were some things that were right, but others that were just your opinion or thought. Plenty of men are turned on by and love a strong (confident not muscley) proud woman who takes charge and exudes sexiness. You can still be flurty and cute without tilting your head down like a moron.
The solution – figuring out what is desired and where to get it. Create a rough “job description” for a good partner. Figure out where that type of person can be found. Look for those characteristics and test people on them. Continue to enjoy dating – but don’t forget the end goal either!
None of this is earth-shattering, mind-blowing secrets that will give you some epiphany on love & life. Instead, it reads like common sense, the kind many of us missed the memo on, so that it’s not so “common” after all.
A quality man has no interest in a woman who slouches. He regards her as lazy, and if there is one thing men hate, it’s a lazy woman. It makes sense. Are you attracted to lazy men? Basically, if a man sees a woman whose body language seems to indicate that she doesn’t care about herself, he will be turned off within 2 seconds or less. So straighten those shoulders ladies; he is noticing more about you than you may realize. Again, it is imperative that you make those first seconds count in your favor.
If there is one area I see women mess up time and again, it’s in trying to define a relationship or tie a man down too soon. That’s because her need to feel “safe” is in direct contrast to his innate desire for freedom and not being tied down. If you think about it, every soldier anywhere who has ever been killed in action has died trying to defend their idea of freedom.
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what “healthy living” means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
Know when to move forward. This is probably the most important step of them all. Don’t mention sex for a while. Your friends might tease you about it, and ride you for a while about it. But they’ll never have as amazing of a relationship as you, because you are the gentleman.
Time and chance can change a man’s physical ideals as much as place. One research team recently compared the measurements of Playboy Playmates of the Year from 1960 to 2000 to economic conditions in the United States over the same period and found that tougher times called for larger playmates. A 2005 study in Psychological Science reported that men who were manipulated to feel either hungry or poor preferred heavier female figures—a sign that, according to the researchers, resource availability can “influence preferences for potential mates” even among Western males in a wealthy culture. In other words, we can live in New York but possess a Zulu state of mind.
2) Work – People who work together tend to share many common bonds and interests. Part of this is because working together allows individuals to get to know each other and establish a base line friendship before moving into a relationship.
Am most grateful for the advice you have been giving. But pls most at times am not able to watch the videos you have been sending,I would love lt ,if possible it should also be written so that we that we can’t watch we can read. Please do that for me.
This is difficult though… So, you can always give your male friend my website too. There are many tips in my archives and many more to come, which can help him make you feel passion for him. Therefore, you can feel passion for the more local choice and win all the way around.
One “striking” finding, to borrow the report’s own word, was a very strong connection between a man’s relationship satisfaction and his frequency of physical intimacy. Not physical intimacy as in sex, but physical intimacy as in kissing, cuddling, and general, not necessarily sexual, caressing. The odds of a man being happy in his relationship increased by a factor of three if he snuggled up regularly.
“Most people are terrified of getting hurt. They have elaborate ways of protecting themselves – ways that keep them safe, but unsatisfied. It’s not that they want to be alone; they just don’t know how to be vulnerable and safe at the same time. In an effort to protect their heart, they inadvertently doom themselves to loneliness.”
Been married over 9 yrs, noticed changes in spouses behavior and work routine. He now commutes 45 min to another work location 2 days/week, work later, and communicates less with me while at work, ie 1 call/ a day after 2:00pm. Noticed in 1 month several withdrawal of ATMs back to back, $600, $400, $200 on days commuting, as well as, excessive spending on the same day of withdrawals.
Similarity to his mom: Trust me, if there is Megan Fox and if there is a girl who is similar to his mom, he would rather give up the former. Maybe because right from the childhood they saw their moms as the epitome of a perfect woman, that they desire women similar to them.
This is a load of BS! I am an Asian woman and I hate the fact that we are seen as feminine, delicate, and cute! It bothers the shit out of me because it is a stereotype and I hate being labeled with that tag on me! Well, truth is. I am not one of those Asian woman who are like that because I was raised strongly and to disrespect men who does not show any respect for me. Besides, you do have to be yourself when you want to get a good guy. You can’t be fake! Once they found out that the girl was a fake the whole time just to get their attention, they will get mad.
Once you identify what kind of Man/fish you are looking for you need to figure out where that type tends to hang out. The good news is that men, like fish tend to have predictable habits and tend to congregate in the same, predictable locations.
However, some people don’t pick such balanced relationships. Some repeatedly sell themselves short, giving way more than they get. In the end, these people often feel cheated, unappreciated, and used. Others repeatedly over-estimate their worth, asking for too much. They too end up feeling frustrated, when no one will meet their unrealistic expectations. Thus, both under-valuing and over-valuing one’s self leads to repeated problems in love.
Make a vow to never be cheap with yourself ever again. Ignore prices on menus. Stop waiting for sales. Invest in yourself at the highest level possible, whatever that looks like for you. Don’t be irresponsible with your finances, but stop denying yourself pleasures that will make you feel special and successful. You are both.
What men want in a woman is someone who is their complement, not their “equal”. Trying to be a man’s equal creates competition and resentment in a relationship. The same is true if a man tries to be a woman’s equal. This may not make sense at first glance, so let’s look at some examples to help clarify the point.
He feels the need to be around her, and his subconscious mind tries very hard to make her feel protected, comfortable and loved around him. He loses his aggressive stance, the tone of his voice softens down, and his shoulders droop down towards her instead of spreading wide. And before he even gives attraction a second thought, he’d realize that he likes the girl already! [Read: The right way to talk to a guy and make him like you]
Jade….So very glad you found this article at this crucial time in your life. How kind of you to call it “brilliant.” I am flattered. But I hear you. I was used to plenty of attention as well. In my case, I started getting “older,” so I had to remind myself of all the things I had been doing differently than a fair amount of other ladies. The good news? Those things still work. Ha!
Of course, it’s easy for men to say on paper that they care about personality. What really matters is how things unfold when they’re two feet from a push-up bra and nice-smelling, fruit-conditioned hair.
I completely agree with this article, 100 percent! I saw this on a page that was linked in a forum where a girl was bitching and moaning about how screwed up men are. But hey, don’t you get it? This is what men want. And this is what men find irresistible! Men want to be like men, and there’s nothing wrong with women displaying their femininity.
► Composure: Men love nothing more than a woman who can handle situations calmly. No erratic behaviour. No cantankerousness. No yelling. No crazy stuff. I am not denying that some men are irrational. However, those irrational people are not attractive. When a person knows that they’re not always right and are willing to reason, the attractiveness quadruples.
And it must be in keeping with my own perspective, because it all seems obvious and self evident to me. I don’t have a list of “must have traits”, I’d rather meet a guy, get to know him, and see how things shake out. It never works. It doesn’t matter if I meet him at work, through friends, in night class, or through a dating service, it always goes exactly the same. Either he’s married, or he decides I’m not good enough for him.
Men have always been the more aggressive sex in the human species. They’re usually the ones who spread their legs wider, stand tall and swell their chest up while trying to appear threatening all the time, more so when they’re in an argument or when they meet someone they see as a threat in any manner.
A man of quality and intrigue can sense the inconsistent energy of a woman who is faking it. He will never trade his loaf of bread for her crumbs. He wants a partner who is on his level, and you must invest in yourself as he has done himself.
Kindness: A kind woman is the most attractive woman in the room. Men love it if a woman is kind to the people who maybe from a lower rung of society. It is very attractive if the woman makes it a point to be extra nice to servers at the restaurant.
Respect yourself. If you say no, he should stop. If he doesn’t stop, leave. Don’t ever be uncomfortable saying no. Don’t go against your morals to try to keep a guy. If you feel this is necessary, then either he’s not a good man, or he is a good one but simply isn’t a good match for you specifically (e. g. he is currently “playing the field” and is up front and honest about it, but you’re looking for an exclusive relationship). Don’t be uncomfortable saying yes, either. If you feel the time is right, believe in your worth and don’t worry that you’re “giving yourself away.” You respect yourself and you’re confident that he’ll come back for more! A man who doesn’t respect you in the morning never properly respected you to begin with, and a man who doesn’t respect your wishes to wait is too impatient to make a good partner. Either way, find someone else.
This is sexist. It’s generalising feminists aswell as women and men in general. People have preferences, people should using biology as an excuse to pidgeon hole. Women should be and wear whatever they want to. To all the men saying women should dress a certain way to suit you I say that maybe you need to broaden your perception on what you consider attractive, everyone should. It is the media that tells you what is attractive, preferences are okay but it is not okay to throw around insults because people do not fit your narrow standards of beauty.
Become more confident. You can appear more confident by having a straighter posture, smiling, and making eye contact with people while you talk with them. Don’t continually self deprecate or be overly critical on yourself. Think about all the positives about your personality, and work to improve in the areas that you lack.
If you accept who he really is when he’s not wearing his mask (without a hint of judgment – judgment will shut him down and drive him away from you in a blink), he will feel deeply, truly connected to you.