Speaking from 38+ years of marriage … I want a woman who takes care of herself for me. The same as I take care of myself for her. A woman who lets herself go once she has landed her man is saying “I’m in this for me alone”. Of course the reverse is true, a man who does not take care of himself for his woman is just as guilty. Ladies and Gentlemen, successful relationships are not 50% / 50% deals, they are 100% / 100% deals. Be committed to giving your 100% all the time.
People also get hurt at various times in their dating lives. As a result, they find ways to protect their egos and self-esteem. They find ways of coping with the rejection, disappointments, and frustrations of finding love. Unfortunately, some of those ways are better than others.
There are two common ways people protect their egos in these situations by creating biases that blind them. On one hand, they may expect very little of themselves and make excuses for failures before they even happen. This is called Self-Handicapping (Tice, 1991). On the other hand, they may expect very little of others and make themselves feel superior by looking down at them. This is called Pre-Judging (Fein & Spencer, 1997).
If you take a look around, you’ll often discover men don’t marry “perfect” women. That’s because looks alone aren’t enough to make a guy fall in love with you. However, they can be important because your physical appearance is the first thing a guy will notice about you.
It occurred to me after I saw the video, men also play hard to get – well at least they say they do (treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen). Want to make sure have got this right. Would this just be a ‘front’, or self protection from men (as mentioned in previous blogs)? Trying to be ‘super cool’? I tend to give up if I get no response. Sorry if I’m being contrary – just want to know if am on the right lines.
When someone tells you that the best way to attract someone is by being yourself, well, they’re not entirely right. All of us change all the time. And not every change that we see in ourselves may be in the right direction.
Secondly, always try to wear clothes that are somewhat form fitting, but not too tight and never baggy – you don’t want to look like you’re revealing too much or hiding too much. In other words, give the sweats and the shapeless dress a break every now and again, and wear something pretty. Also, don’t worry if you are carrying some extra weight. You can still show your curves!
Nothing: Yes, sometimes none of the above. Sometimes they just like a girl, without rhyme or reason. The world stops for him when he sees thegirl, and they’re not going to trade that for anything in the whole wide world. This is something completely unique to guys only.
Follow the Golden Rule. That means apply the same rules to yourself that you’d apply to others, including him. Real men do in fact notice this; they just don’t scream it out. For example, if he tells you he has a girlfriend and things are not working out, Stop! and think ladies and gentlemen that this could be a “test” on how you would handle the situation, so stand your ground and cut off communication (hint: “Golden Rule”). Second example: if you do want to try finding his ticklish spots, then don’t complain one bit if he tries finding yours in return. Don’t go on about how you “don’t NEED no man!” or about “men this, men that” if you don’t want him treating you the same way. DO, on the other hand, treat him–and others–with respect, dignity, and honor. Others will notice, too, and who knows–if they know you want a good, real man but don’t yet have one, they just might introduce you to one!
I enjoyed this hub tremendously, as it reminds me of the importance of confidence in the dating scene and in other circumstances. You have great ideas of the subtle things women can do to get the attention of men. Some women are naturals. but others must work at it. Thanks for sharing your ideas, Pinning hub. Blessings, Audrey
But cute changes everything. When a girl behaves in a cute and feminine manner, it brings out the protective instincts of a man. Instead of feeling threatened by a feminine girl, he feels protective about her. That makes him feel more masculine, and that’s something every guy loves to feel! [Read: Why men love a damsel in distress and feel more emotionally connected to them]
When a guy sees a girl’s physical assets, he subconsciously sees more than just your breasts or your butt. The right curves in all the right places tells a guy that a girl is fertile and has come of age, and that she’s healthy because her body can afford to waste energy on developing her curves which play the biggest role in sexual attraction.
Respect means accepting he needs certain things, even if they are in opposition to what you want or need. For example, when men get stressed or feel unbalanced, they usually like to retreat into their “cave” to sort things out. They don’t necessarily like talking through the problem and would rather work it out on their own and then come back into the relationship re-charged.
Hey! There’s this guy I REALLY like, and I know he is attracted to me as well. The only problem is that he is also attracted to some other girl, and has hundreds of others clamoring to take our places. I need to be the center of his attention, but I don’t know how! Please help me!
If you have trouble attracting men and getting a date, you may be unknowingly sending vibes that push men away. Men think differently than women, so you have to understand how the male psyche works in order to get his attention. Know what to do to grab his attention.
► Composure: Men love nothing more than a woman who can handle situations calmly. No erratic behaviour. No cantankerousness. No yelling. No crazy stuff. I am not denying that some men are irrational. However, those irrational people are not attractive. When a person knows that they’re not always right and are willing to reason, the attractiveness quadruples.
Don’t ask how I stumbled onto this website. These guests had some good pointers, but I can tell you the one thing that is mostly important to ALL men is that a woman MUST look after herself and her appearance if she wants any sort of magnetism. Doesn’t matter if you are overweight, or skin and bones – your appearance goes a long way in attracting the right type of man. If you dress like a slut, you will attract rubbish. Dress like a hobo and, well you will attract the flies? Lol. Seriously, first of all, appearance is a reflection of who you are. Unfortunately, people do judge a book by its cover, especially men, SO LOOK GOOD AND RESPECTABLE if you want to attract the right man. There is nothing better for me than being in public with my fiancee and she looks nice, because ultimately her appearance is a reflection of her respect towards me as her partner. The same applies to men.
Response: What good is accepting something that is a failure? How effective is bringing out the best in something that is a failure? No one is perfect nor can someone be perfect. Listen, turn him into what you want him to be, but, do it right. The process won’t always work because some people are to ignorant to believe that they should be better for you, but if they are willing, then it is possible. The thing is you aren’t perfect either, but relationships are all about two individuals benefiting each other. This means that you both are going to mold each other, although, one may be making more of an impact than the other.
And of course, as everyone knows, like attracts like. As Margaret Paul, Ph.D said: “People attract each other at their common level of woundedness or their common level of health.” It’s easier and gets better long-term results to fix the core problem than to practice acting.
Love is not just words, man understand that well. But every now and then he likes to be reminded how great he is and how special he had become in his woman’s life. This affirmation is important to keep him engaged and attached to her.
You have been trying really hard to ask this guy out on a date and you are scared because you do not know whether he likes you back. So this article will tell you whether or not he likes you and will make all your confusions go away.
Try to stay fresh all the time, and avoid strong perfumes and smells that will irritate rather than attract them to you. Thinking about what scent attracts men we came to the conclusion those are natural scents. The smell of your skin, and freshly washed hair… Every woman has a specific scent, and that is exactly what you should point it out and use to your advantage.
Your vibe is determined by what you’re truly, honestly feeling at the moment. That means that even if you tell yourself you’re in a great mood, if you’re honestly flustered, upset, or nervous it will come through in your vibe.
In other words, saying you value physical attractiveness doesn’t make you more likely to feel a spark with those you consider physically attractive, the researchers report in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. “When men say they care about physical attractiveness more than women, what that should mean is that attractiveness buys you more romantic desirability if you’re a woman than if you’re a man,” says Eastwick, now at Texas A&M University. “Our study showed that in fact that wasn’t the case.”
Be fun, in ways that men think are fun. This rule of attraction seems simple enough, but so many girls get it wrong. Don’t be too much of a stereotypical “girl.” Be able to let your hair down and tell jokes, watch sports, play video games or poker with him and try to enjoy the things that he enjoys. He’s not interested in holding your purse while you shop. Nor does he care what happened on last week’s episode of Days of Our Lives. Hang out at sports bars with him. He’ll want you even more.
There’s a man locally who I’ve known for awhile (including times that we’ve been lovers), who really loves me, treats me well, and is also not pressuring me to be with him, though he’s made it clear that he’s interested.
Does sending a facebook message to a random guy you just met in person look really desperate? I decided to take the plunge, and he replied but I’m still worried I look ‘desperate’. How do I play it cool?
10. Your Own Home. Throwing parties is one of the best ways to get yourself into the dating scene. Even if you don’t meet an eligible bachelor at your own shindig, becoming the hostess with the mostest will naturally get you reciprocally invited to barbecues, wine-tastings, poetry readings, etc. And if a friend does bring along a handsome stranger to your next house party, you have ample reasons to chat him up. After all, he’ll need you to take his coat, fetch him a drink, and tell you where he’s been all your life.
“I think one of the biggest myths that has been perpetuated by some evolutionary psychologists—though not all—is that there is one ‘man,’ or ‘men,’ with universal behaviors,” says psychologist Viren Swami of the University of Westminster in London. “In most socioeconomically developed societies, there is—not surprisingly—a preference for relatively slender women. In many developing societies, on the other hand, the ideal female body size is heavier.” That may be little solace to some Western women, but as Swami has found, even Western males demonstrate malleability in figure preference.
“Most people are terrified of getting hurt. They have elaborate ways of protecting themselves – ways that keep them safe, but unsatisfied. It’s not that they want to be alone; they just don’t know how to be vulnerable and safe at the same time. In an effort to protect their heart, they inadvertently doom themselves to loneliness.”
Become more confident. You can appear more confident by having a straighter posture, smiling, and making eye contact with people while you talk with them. Don’t continually self deprecate or be overly critical on yourself. Think about all the positives about your personality, and work to improve in the areas that you lack.
And just a word of advice, you bitching or moaning here won’t change a way a guy thinks. And you commenters can’t change a guy’s view just by claiming guys should like unfeminine girls instead of feminine girl!
Be the woman all his friends are lusting after and who lights up the room with your smile. It’s a fact; if all of his friends are “ooohing and ahhing” over you, he will be attracted to you all the more.
Day after day, as I hear single women bemoan the lack of available men, I wish ethics allowed me to set them up with my wonderful male clients who are searching, with equal frustration, for the right woman. Instead, I end up simply witnessing singles of both sexes failing to find each other. I believe this failure has much to do with the model of love-seeking most popular in our culture: the idea of romantic pursuit as a type of predation, a hunting expedition the goal of which is capture. In my experience, the way of thinking that leads to successful relationships is altogether different. It’s focused on the idea that the way to find love is to become so much yourself that you find others of your own kind, with whom you can share freedom.
Your attitude shows up on your face and in your body language. Do you seem like someone ho finds life interesting? This is important. In order to look as if you find life remarkable and enjoyable, it is always a good idea to practice maintaining a slight smile, the kind that makes your eyes crinkle ever so slightly. Think Mona Lisa, or bigger if you like. Mona Lisa looks as though she finds life rather amusing; she is infinitely calm, yet mysterious—and that is a striking combination. No man wants to be around a woman who is bored, agitated or unfriendly. Depressed or angry women drive men away in droves.
A smile puts a man at ease. It tells a man you’re approachable. It tells a man you’re confident and happy: the exact type of woman a man wants. It strokes a man’s ego and makes him feel like you are pleased with him. It makes him feel more like a man.
If you’re asking yourself ‘Well, how do I attract men?’ all the time, that’s a sign of insecurity as well. When a woman walks and talks with confidence, men are attracted instantly. A woman that is confident knows what she is comfortable with, and will strive towards making other people feel good about themselves. She isn’t focused on making herself look amazing, while at the same time undermining her partner. She also takes the first step, if her partner is hesitant. And if you’re insecure about something, believe that a man can smell it from the distance. He can see it in your eyes, your gestures, and your voice. So lose the inhibitions and be confident in yourself and your achievements, and the way you’re going to do this is by always keeping in mind the positive and good things you have in your life.