This article sucks! “Contrary to popular belief, don’t be yourself. Evolve.” What is so wrong with being yourself?! Women and men need to be authentically themselves. It is so beautiful when you find someone who loves and cares about you because you are you. That is what love is, not some bullshit circus show.
I have met many men who are looking for that brilliant, kind, accomplished size 4 when they are fat, unemployed (or underemployed),uneducated misogynists. In my dating profiles I have had to ask men not to contact me if they were deficient in employment, physical attributes, or wealth. Who are the women who like that sort of male?
Many girls are against the idea of being feminine or behaving in a cute manner. To a typical feminist, behaving in a demure or coy manner is a sign of weakness. And they can’t accept that a guy finds a cute *and dare, we say it… submissive* girl more attractive than a girl who likes to be a non-girlie girl.
This is sexist. It’s generalising feminists aswell as women and men in general. People have preferences, people should using biology as an excuse to pidgeon hole. Women should be and wear whatever they want to. To all the men saying women should dress a certain way to suit you I say that maybe you need to broaden your perception on what you consider attractive, everyone should. It is the media that tells you what is attractive, preferences are okay but it is not okay to throw around insults because people do not fit your narrow standards of beauty.
[…] For the male perspective on turn-ons and turn-offs, written by three of my favorite male dating bloggers (Jackie Summers, The Urban Dater, Jeffrey Platts and Fishy) see this collaborative post by Kelly Seal. […]
Take the first step. If you are comfortable with the girl, and you feel that you can trust her, help her to be able to trust you. Before you do this next step, make sure that she has confided in you a few things about herself. Once this is done, set a date. Don’t be too forward. If she has done what was previously been stated, you will not be rejected.
What’s interesting is not just that most people aren’t in touch with their desires, but that simultaneously, most of us think we ARE. We get ideas about what we want from media, our friends, our past experiences. And we piece together some image of what we want that is usually pretty generic.
If she wants to talk for hours, tell your friends you’re busy tonight. Making yourself available to talk is a great way to show her you’re there for her. All though you’re not dating, she’ll be comforted knowing she has a person she can talk to. Obviously, it will take some time before she confides completely in you. Girls are naturally skeptical about trusting guys with the truth about themselves at first.
To another mans comment above I agree NO man wants to date some woman who is always arguing why are u even thinking about stereotype this and that blah blah blah” oh plz shut UUUPPP!!!! I giggled a little when he said Asian women lol but who cares! Don’t get so offended they are very cute and sweet is that bad to point it out ?
Be yourself. If you like who you are, then stay that way. Don’t change for other people. The girl who is really worth your while will love you for who you are, what you’ve accomplished in your life, and nothing else.
For me personally, I like it when a woman puts in effort to do makeup that enhances how she already looks but does not pile on the foundation and then add a bunch of different powders and whatnot to it.
Jade….So very glad you found this article at this crucial time in your life. How kind of you to call it “brilliant.” I am flattered. But I hear you. I was used to plenty of attention as well. In my case, I started getting “older,” so I had to remind myself of all the things I had been doing differently than a fair amount of other ladies. The good news? Those things still work. Ha!
The reason I had even looked up what women want from men is that I simply wanted to understand that! Thing is, I realized that in order to understand that, I needed to read something written by a woman.
I just think there is a population that doesn’t see how they present themselves. Why would I want to spend time with a jerk who is looking for a sugar mama? Being a jerk who has misogynistic tendencies shouldn’t be attractive to ANYBODY.
So in essence, your local “friend” isn’t that attractive, but he provides you with something you’ve been missing. He’s the Beta male, and your LD Boyfriend, with the help of the long-distance itself, was more Alpha. In an odd, indirect way, you were wanting the best of both worlds — much like a gal wanting the “bad boy” to an extent, but also wanting the Nice Guy who gives the feeling of giving more fulfillment.
Love yourself. Before you attract a man, you need to love yourself and want the best for yourself. This may seem like common sense, but it’s an important aspect that many people forget before dating. If you can’t see your self-worth, then others will have a hard time seeing it as well.
I always had a hard time figuring out what motivates a man to approach and hang around (besides a woman’s “hotness”, but I think there is more going on)…do we send out the wrong signals and not even know it? So, I’m pleased to share with you some expert thoughts on the subject…I knew I’d get some interesting feedback, and they did not disappoint.
You can definitely see your enthusiasm in the paintings you write. The arena hopes for even more passionate writers such as you who aren’t afraid to mention how they believe. All the time go after your heart.
As you hold your grocery basket in one hand, slowly slide your other hand through your hair, give it a couple of tussles, and then let it slowly drizzle from the nape of your neck down to the collar bone. The sexiness and playfulness of your hair, combined with the tenderness of your neck will kick in a few mating chemicals inside of him that will ignite his hunt mode.
And just a word of advice, you bitching or moaning here won’t change a way a guy thinks. And you commenters can’t change a guy’s view just by claiming guys should like unfeminine girls instead of feminine girl!
Knee, C. R., Patrick, H., Vietor, N. A., & Neighbors, C. (2004). Implicit theories of relationships: Moderators of the link between conflict and commitment. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 30, 617-628.
It amazes me to hear women go down a list of the treatment they expect, places they want to wine and dine, trips they want to go on and pampering they want to receive. Yet they skimp and don’t invest in doing these things for themselves. Boggles the mind!
The meaning of the finding, Ackerman and colleagues report in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, turns on the commitment continuum. In subsequent tests, the researchers discovered that short-term guys felt a decrease in happiness when women declared “I love you” after sex. They’d said it first to score quickly, the finding suggests, and then, having scored, began to realize what they’d done.
When evolutionary psychologists review this show, they find evidence for a universal male urge to reproduce. A woman’s figure is a hallmark of her fertility, they argue, and men subconsciously know it. Researchers have documented a widespread, magnetic male attraction to a waist-to-hip ratio of .7—the classic hourglass. An eye-tracking study last year found that men start to evaluate a woman’s hourglassness within the first 200 milliseconds of viewing, which, based on my pedestrian observations, seems slow.
Respect yourself. If you say no, he should stop. If he doesn’t stop, leave. Don’t ever be uncomfortable saying no. Don’t go against your morals to try to keep a guy. If you feel this is necessary, then either he’s not a good man, or he is a good one but simply isn’t a good match for you specifically (e. g. he is currently “playing the field” and is up front and honest about it, but you’re looking for an exclusive relationship). Don’t be uncomfortable saying yes, either. If you feel the time is right, believe in your worth and don’t worry that you’re “giving yourself away.” You respect yourself and you’re confident that he’ll come back for more! A man who doesn’t respect you in the morning never properly respected you to begin with, and a man who doesn’t respect your wishes to wait is too impatient to make a good partner. Either way, find someone else.