A book which is founded on ideas about good communication & keeping integrity is one whose advice I feel I can trust & recommend. It has a “win-win” approach that doesn’t degrade men or women – how to get what you desire/need while giving someone else what they desire/need too. Building mutually satisfying relationships is the goal, not manipulating your dream man into marrying you (blech – what an idea!).
Honestly stopped reading when you mentioned Asian girls and continued on for a paragraph or two. Guys say they don’t like being compared, but go on an compare girls to other girls. It’s like someone saying ‘oh, girls like big penises. Check out any black guy’s package and you could see why no girl in their right mind would deny one. Wait though, there are a lot of guys who are well endowed *not just black guys* – but mainly black guys’. See what i’m saying? I’m half thai myself, and have met many MANY terribly not cute Asian girls – and white, black, hispanic, every girl of the ‘racial rainbow’.
Be yourself. When you meet someone for the first time, you may be tempted to be someone you’re not, such as “putting on your best face”. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to make a good impression. However, it is possible to take this too far and in turn repel men. The same applies with myths about dressing sexy and excessive flirtation. If you do not respect your body, you will only attract men who have a similar lack of respect for you and your body, and a good man will find it more difficult to take you seriously. Be yourself, and a real man will respect you.
Be feminine. Keep in mind that if a man wanted to be with a man, he would be. So be girly, be feminine, be a woman. What does that mean? Smell good, cook him a meal once in a while, mother him when he needs it — find the cavewoman in you.
Then there was a lie about where he was during working hours. Now he tells he should be able to go where anywhere he want to go with tell me where he’s going when it’s for an occasion ie, to by a birthday gift or surprises. This makes no sense to me since it’s not the location of the gift that matters or that would let me know what he is going to purchase. I asked him after all these years we’ve always done things. I remember when you never wanted to go or try new things without me. We were best friends. This relationship was established and now the rules are changing according to him. I asked him is he cheating. Of course I knew he would say no. Why would he admit that? He said he is stress from work, which I could believe. I know the environment. But he is bad with time management and he knows it. He saids he needs time to heal. I ask from what? But he just can’t give me a complete answer. He won’t communicate for me to help him. He claims he’s a self healer, but stays late at work till 9:30-10p. When we talk it ends up into a messy conversation. He feels I want to know everything and won’t let it go. I feel he’s too secretive, can’t justify the spending and the need to go somewhere without letting your wife. He’s said he would not abuse that and I should trust him. I said it all about respect.
Flirting is much like a smile. It lets a man know you’re interested. It tells a man you accept him and are pleased with him. It makes a man feel at ease around you, thereby making you more approachable and increasing the chance a guy will ask you out.
Men like to be around positive and happy people, because that attitude can reflect on them as well. Smile, because it automatically motivates a man to approach you. Attract men with your happy disposition, because this trick can be applied to almost every single guy out there. No man wants to approach a woman that is grumpy and sad looking. Appearing grumpy will make you unattractive no matter how good-looking you are. You don’t have to smile at everyone, but if you see a guy you like, let your smile tell him he’s welcome to approach you. He won’t miss the sign.
So if you’re trying to catch the attention of a typical guy *a large percentage of men have normal or high production of testosterone even though the overall average testosterone levels have dropped significantly in American men over the last 50 years*, chances are, he’d love you if your behavior is more feminine, cute and girly! [Read: Do guys prefer dating cute, shy girls over other girls?]
“The reason a guy gets hooked on one woman is not because she is *just sexy*, or *just playful*, or *just certain*, or *just feminine*, or *just bursting with integrity*, but because she possesses a unique combination of traits: the girl who is warm, has integrity, and can charm his family, then rips his clothes off in the bedroom and is a sexual goddess; the girl who is playful with his friends, can debate politics like a pro, but knows how to enjoy a lazy Sunday watching movies and eating pizza; the girl who is independent, kicks ass out in the world, but is feminine and loving with her man. Women like this cause an alarm to go off inside a guy’s head and heart. Keep her, he thinks. This one’s amazing!”
What is it that “those kind” of women are doing that makes them so irresistible? Well, in this article I will take you through some of the most common and universally applicable things you can do to make yourself more attractive to men and attract the man you want.
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Every time you have sex with this guy, you are falling in more deeply in love with him, giving yourself false hope. The fact is, you are second-best to him, a backup plan. When he feels like getting laid, he will always know you are available, and when you need him, he will not be there. In a relationship, both parties should benefit from it, not just one. You deserve better.
All this being said, each one of us have different tastes. Some like short girls, some tall ones. Some like sweet ones, some the patakas. Some like the Dominatrix, some the submissive kind and others a regular girl. And then there are men who are attracted to every single girl…
I suggest that you should be pickier, less accepting and more committed to the “bad attitude” that will make you seek people who are extraordinary in the same way you are. Be courteous to men who don’t appeal to you, but for God’s sake, don’t waste your evenings—let alone your nights—with them. “Oh,” conventional rule-keepers might exclaim, “you’ll have to spend some nights alone!” Yes, indeed. Your pool of candidates is much smaller at the high-quality end of the bell curve, your chances of having no date on Saturday much larger if you refuse to go out with men who bore or repulse you. But if memory serves, the boredom and/or repulsion of bad dating is much worse than spending a few hours on your own.
Relationship doctor, Bob Grant, makes a powerful statement in the opening of his book, What’s He Really Thinking, when he states, “When you appreciate men for their differences, it makes men more willing to allow you to influence them.”
Now I am not saying to go out in stripper heels and a nonexistent dress that shows almost your entire body. Unless this is what you like and it makes you feel good, but don’t do that because you think it’s going to make men more attracted to you.
Knee, C. R., Patrick, H., Vietor, N. A., & Neighbors, C. (2004). Implicit theories of relationships: Moderators of the link between conflict and commitment. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 30, 617-628.
The key to most of these is that you are comfortable. If you are not comfortable then there is no point in doing any of these things. If you are, though, it will come off as extremely sexy. Being comfortable is sexy.
It’s quite funny how some of you can’t accept the truth. To be honest, this article is true in so many levels. I’m naturally one of those “cute, sweet and feminine” girls, I love wearing pastel colors, skirts, and dresses, I am told that I am well-mannered, and I am somewhat shy. When I was younger, however, I thought that being an “aggressive tomboy” like one of my friends was the way to go. So then, I decided to wear dark clothes, act rude and get violent. You see, my friend had a bunch guys going after her. I got jealous so I decided to be like her. I realized that these boys were just using her, and the guys who actually liked her were the “not-so cute” and nerdy guys. I didn’t want that, so I reverted back to my old self. When I was acting like my friend, I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t get a sweet boyfriend. Until I recently read this article, it gave me hope and made me realize that I can still be that sweet and feminine girl that I was before, and get a guy who will truly care about me. Now I have a rather handsome yet sweet guy who likes me for the real me, and eveyone says we make a rather cute couple. I learned a very valuable lesson here. Thank you 🙂
It’s really been eating at me lately, to the extent that I don’t even want to spend time with my local friend for fear of somehow ‘leading him on’ or hurting him, even though he’s a really close and good friend.
What do men want in a woman? It may seem like a loaded question, but really the answer is quite simple. While every guy has his own preferences when it comes to the physical–some like blondes, some like brunettes; some like petite, some like curvy–there are several fundamental qualities that all men crave in a woman.
It’s because it’s a difficult process if your social circle is really thin. A guy has to face rejection. He has to get comfortable with it. When a guy is 100% comfortable, and has no hesitation about the concept of rejection — he has no problem with the singles/dating scene. Of course, getting to that point is not easy.
Once you identify what kind of Man/fish you are looking for you need to figure out where that type tends to hang out. The good news is that men, like fish tend to have predictable habits and tend to congregate in the same, predictable locations.
Don’t be the bad guy. Girls, as much as you don’t believe it, like the guy who listens to them more than the tough guy. Yes, they want to feel protected physically, but nothing beats being emotionally protected. This is very important.
10. Your Own Home. Throwing parties is one of the best ways to get yourself into the dating scene. Even if you don’t meet an eligible bachelor at your own shindig, becoming the hostess with the mostest will naturally get you reciprocally invited to barbecues, wine-tastings, poetry readings, etc. And if a friend does bring along a handsome stranger to your next house party, you have ample reasons to chat him up. After all, he’ll need you to take his coat, fetch him a drink, and tell you where he’s been all your life.
What men want in a woman is someone who is their complement, not their “equal”. Trying to be a man’s equal creates competition and resentment in a relationship. The same is true if a man tries to be a woman’s equal. This may not make sense at first glance, so let’s look at some examples to help clarify the point.
Those are essentially your two choices though… Learn to see when your emotions are misleading you and use logic. OR, find someone who is both more suited to be a relationship partner and can trigger those emotions in you.
Preening is great fun. Use your imagination. There are a million ways to preen “a little.” So, whenever the opportunity presents itself, take advantage of this newly acquired attraction skill. A word of warning. Never be overtly sexual. You want a man to realize that you have a mind, not just a body. You never want to attract the wrong kind of men, so be a class-act. Always.
Be the woman all his friends are lusting after and who lights up the room with your smile. It’s a fact; if all of his friends are “ooohing and ahhing” over you, he will be attracted to you all the more.
I love both of these men, but the guy out of state is the one I feel emotionally and sexually drawn to. I know, on paper, that it makes much more sense to date the local man, but I don’t feel those feelings for him. So how does one make logical choices when faced with intense emotional feelings? I can’t see myself dating my local friend when I don’t feel sexually or emotionally attracted to him, but I worry that I don’t have those feelings for him because there’s something wrong with me.
How do I “They go out and meet people.” ? I can set aside an evening or 2 or a weekend afternoon. What strategies do you suggest for meeting women? I’ve been reading you for about a year now. I am totally sold on your whats and whys, and definitely want to hear more on your hows.
The type of woman that I would want emotionally, a feminine woman who is grateful, nurturing, etc, is not exactly compatible with “independent woman”. The type of woman I’d want for a life partner isn’t compatible with an independent woman’s ideals.