You don’t have to journey alone. Talk to a mentor. It’s confidential and always free. Please fill out the form below so a mentor can get in touch soon to listen and to support you. All fields are required unless otherwise indicated.
The quickest solution to finding a man really is to focus on handling the other areas of your life and having a lifestyle that you really enjoy. When you do this, you’ put yourself in control of your own happiness and will effortlessly attract great men into your life.
Some women are more innocent and cutesy, others more seductive and intense, others a combination of all these… some are more outgoing and expressive, others are more shy and want a man to take control.
Whether you are walking, standing, or sitting, it is essential that you become comfortable in making the space you occupy all your own, whether you are alone or with others. To do this, you must not give any impression of discomfort, i.e., downcast eyes or self hugging. Instead, be “in the present” and enjoy your surroundings right now. This is what it means to own your space. It’s all about stopping to smell the roses, so to speak. Another way of putting it is: You have to become totally at ease in choosing to make yourself the queen of your space. Frankly, in any given moment, the area you occupy really does belong to you, so use it generously. You are much more likely to attract the right man if you appear to be someone who feels relaxed in her own skin.
There is no greater feeling to a man that that of being truly seen and appreciated for who he is by the woman he cares about. The trouble is a lot of women can’t see past the things he isn’t doing right. And what’s worse is a lot of women will harp on a man over these things, which makes him less inclined to do the things she wants. Instead, it makes him feel like a failure and he will shut down as a result.
I realize this may not be comfortable for you, but if you take baby steps and find a way to get truly comfortable “letting go” you will notice how much this turns a man on. Do what feels natural, not what you think you are “supposed to do.”
Be yourself. When you meet someone for the first time, you may be tempted to be someone you’re not, such as “putting on your best face”. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to make a good impression. However, it is possible to take this too far and in turn repel men. The same applies with myths about dressing sexy and excessive flirtation. If you do not respect your body, you will only attract men who have a similar lack of respect for you and your body, and a good man will find it more difficult to take you seriously. Be yourself, and a real man will respect you.
The first step is to change our undesirable habits. We do this by reminding ourselves that we are being noticed, even if for a split second. Frankly, it matters that we emit a positive and interesting vibe. By developing an aura of natural confidence we are also more likely to weed out undesirable men. How so?
Just as our bodily ideals aren’t stuck on the hourglass, neither is our general desire stuck on the body. A survey conducted around the time of the Clark-Hatfield study reported that about a third of men have imagined sexual encounters with more than 1,000 different women. In our minds, at our best, we are not Einstein but Warren Beatty. Swami’s studies support the concept of dynamic attractiveness—the idea that no matter our age or body preference, looks are but a single line of code in a complex algorithm of attraction, alongside others defining sense of humor, core beliefs, personality, and more.
Many girls are against the idea of being feminine or behaving in a cute manner. To a typical feminist, behaving in a demure or coy manner is a sign of weakness. And they can’t accept that a guy finds a cute *and dare, we say it… submissive* girl more attractive than a girl who likes to be a non-girlie girl.
All this being said, each one of us have different tastes. Some like short girls, some tall ones. Some like sweet ones, some the patakas. Some like the Dominatrix, some the submissive kind and others a regular girl. And then there are men who are attracted to every single girl…

I have recently moved closer to him so we can see each other more often (which is about once every 2-3 weeks). Starting out in a new city, without friends, and spending most evenings at home, i have noticed that i have become very clingy to my boyfriend. I call him up at dawn so he can wake up and go online. I have been nagging more and just really made him my everything! I hate this because it gets me paranoid, and i always get upset if he not available to chat. I know this is not good for any of us but i just cant stop.
What women think men want from them often causes women to have resentment and anger toward men, and feel hopeless about ever developing a wonderful, warm, romantic partnership. What men think women want from them often causes them much of the same feelings and frustration. The sad part is that it does not have to be this way, if only we would realize that both men and women are human beings first and pretty much want the same thing. But, you don’t have to take my word for this. I asked a number of men and women who are actively involved in personal growth and development what they want from a partner in order to build a great relationship. You will find their answers unexpected.
Joe Amoia, The Smarter Dating Guy, is the founder and creator of Smarter Dating For Women. For more information visit him online at www.SmarterDatingForWomen.com and while you’re there make sure to sign up for the FR*EE 5 day mini e-course: The 5 Biggest Mistakes Women Make in Dating
Use online dating websites and apps to find other singles. There are many online dating sites that you can use to find eligible singles that live around you. These websites require you to create an account and answer questions to fill out a personal profile. Dating websites are more in depth and are better for starting a serious relationship. You can also try dating apps on your mobile device to find singles in your area. Apps are designed to be quicker and more to the point. If you are looking just to have fun or meet new people, apps are a better way to connect with a higher number of people in your area.
The key to most of these is that you are comfortable. If you are not comfortable then there is no point in doing any of these things. If you are, though, it will come off as extremely sexy. Being comfortable is sexy.
And, I mean that. If humanity is such a junkpile, then, why bother? Because, all you’re really saying, all this Care Bears in Love-*article* says, is that some peoples’ Hatred and Anger and Emotional Murder is offensive and unacceptable, and others’ Hatred and Anger and Emotional Murder, is really not so bad. That’s the message, The Actual Message, of “don’t expect perfection”…which, of course, then becomes a new buzzphrase for “settling”.
Marla realized that if she wanted to start dating again, she’d have to think a bit more strategically. Because contrary to popular opinion, men are out there. “Here’s a little-known fact: One out of every two people is a guy!” says an exasperated 32-year-old Newark, New Jersey, panelist for Answerology.com, a Web site that aims to bridge the communication gulf between the sexes. With the help of Answerology creator Matt Milner, we’ve asked men from around the country to tell us where the heck they are—and the easiest ways to meet them!
And when men were asked to choose which of the film’s scenes they’d like to enact, 40 percent chose a romantic encounter (read: kissing or caressing without intercourse) while another 15 percent chose an intimate conversation. Only 20 percent chose a full-on sex scene. We may have 1,000 or so sexual fantasies, but only in some of them are we the cable guy who arrives just as you’re getting out of the shower. In others we’re Paul Rudd.
Be mysterious. A huge part of attracting men is letting them figure you out. Don’t talk his ear off about every detail of your life or your feelings. Carefully think about what you say and don’t fill the conversation with idle gabbing. Also, don’t make yourself available all the time. Allow him to wonder where you are and what you’re doing.
Also, I find ironic that being demure and coy are now sought after qualities by men, when I have been criticized so much growing up for being soft-spoken and shy. ( I’ve become much more assertive over the years). Maybe being demure isn’t so attractive on western women?
For example, I’ve known women who constantly point their forks at the person they’re sitting across from while dining. I assume they do this automatically, out of habit. What I do know is that this pointing the fork thing is really distracting, not to mention “tacky.” No one wants a fork pointed right at their face. It’s annoying. This may seem like a nitpicky, tiny thing, but it really does matters how you eat, how you talk, and even if you point.
A man usually feels cautious around overdressed and overrated woman. He knows how much the perfume she’s wearing costs but he prefers to breathe fresh air. He dreads breaking her long witchy black nails during an intimate encounter, so he prefers to hang out with a woman he can touch without fear.
Fly on the Wall, you are welcome to pay for everyone’s bill. You can pay for mine!! I treat my friends very well, I am just particular about what I want and as a woman, I have the right to determine that.
I should have known the reactions from the feminists would be outrage. The author is right on with this article. And your ridiculous complaints of stereotypical bs in this article is typical of you offended narcissists. Did you ever wonder how a stereotype came into being? It came into being as a consequence of observation of majorities. In other words, it became a stereotype because it’s a common attribute of a group, readily visible to others. Stereotypes are not evil, in spite of your quixotic politically correct mis-thinking. They teach us to discriminate in kindergarten, when they tell us to put the square peg in the square hole. They teach us this because it is a valuable mental faculty to cultivate. You ultra-feminists just can’t stand it, and insist on trying to put the square peg in the round hole.
Men have always been the more aggressive sex in the human species. They’re usually the ones who spread their legs wider, stand tall and swell their chest up while trying to appear threatening all the time, more so when they’re in an argument or when they meet someone they see as a threat in any manner.
“Matthew is a genius whose magic needs to be shared with the world. His incredible understanding of love and relationships makes him the absolute best love guru! This book is a necessary tool for anyone looking for love.” (Eva Longoria, actor/producer)
it’s natural instincts. Men evolved to want to protect/provide because women are physically weaker, and so would have a hard time protecting themselves/kids. Also, Japanese women have jobs, and they still act feminine. And a man would have had to be aggressive and dominant to hunt, and to protect children/women. (who are physically weaker) If a women is all masculine, it makes her less attractive, because that’s not what a man instinctively wants in a woman. Why would a man be attracted to a woman that shows traits of someone with high testosterone? And how would that trigger his protective instincts in any way whatsoever?
Take one recent finding that runs entirely counter to popular wisdom. As the undisputed emotional champion of any relationship, women are supposed to profess their love first. But a group of researchers led by psychologist Joshua Ackerman of MIT found the axiom to be dead wrong. Their surveys of twenty- and thirtysomethings revealed that men say “I love you” first 60 to 70 percent of the time. They even thought about saying it a full six weeks before their mate did. It took about as much time for women to catch up to their men emotionally, in other words, as it took Hemingway to complete The Sun Also Rises.
It occurred to me after I saw the video, men also play hard to get – well at least they say they do (treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen). Want to make sure have got this right. Would this just be a ‘front’, or self protection from men (as mentioned in previous blogs)? Trying to be ‘super cool’? I tend to give up if I get no response. Sorry if I’m being contrary – just want to know if am on the right lines.