I’ve been looking into things to keep my marriage solid, and I figured I should keep him attracted to me. I ended up here. You reminded me of just how important confidence is! He used to tell me all the time when we started dating how much he loved my confidence. Love these tips! 🙂
Respect yourself. If you say no, he should stop. If he doesn’t stop, leave. Don’t ever be uncomfortable saying no. Don’t go against your morals to try to keep a guy. If you feel this is necessary, then either he’s not a good man, or he is a good one but simply isn’t a good match for you specifically (e. g. he is currently “playing the field” and is up front and honest about it, but you’re looking for an exclusive relationship). Don’t be uncomfortable saying yes, either. If you feel the time is right, believe in your worth and don’t worry that you’re “giving yourself away.” You respect yourself and you’re confident that he’ll come back for more! A man who doesn’t respect you in the morning never properly respected you to begin with, and a man who doesn’t respect your wishes to wait is too impatient to make a good partner. Either way, find someone else.
Nice tips Jeremy.They are really helpful. I also want to give one advise to guys. If you want to grab attention of a girl then you also need to make constant Eye contact with her so that she also end up doing the same… 🙂
► Joie de vivre / Gioia di vivere / Lebensfreude: A happy woman is an amazing sight to see. The character trait of being happy is incredibly attractive. People in general are put off by melancholy and angst. A happy person is an attractive person because people want to be around them. This is true for both men and women.
Men love a woman who is a good girl when she’s around other people, but who has a bit of a naughty, bad girl side when she’s alone with him. This might include talking dirty through text messages or learning how to please your man in a way no woman ever has.
one word BS! Im obviously never gonna attract anyone then, im a strong woman and would never change who i am to plz a man or up my chances of attracting one, cos what will happen, that guy will eventually see though ur facade and either take a disliking to u cos u werent wat he expected or that u acted and played him to win him over, i can see a guy ever respecting a girl like that
“I think one of the biggest myths that has been perpetuated by some evolutionary psychologists—though not all—is that there is one ‘man,’ or ‘men,’ with universal behaviors,” says psychologist Viren Swami of the University of Westminster in London. “In most socioeconomically developed societies, there is—not surprisingly—a preference for relatively slender women. In many developing societies, on the other hand, the ideal female body size is heavier.” That may be little solace to some Western women, but as Swami has found, even Western males demonstrate malleability in figure preference.
The researchers were floored and expect the finding to prompt full “reconsideration of the role of physical affection and its meaning for each gender in longer-term relationships.” Says Julia Heiman, director of the Kinsey Institute and the study leader, “People really are so willing to accept stereotypes of male promiscuity and inability to commit. That is the problem with stereotyping: It tends not to be ‘men in their early 20s’; it tends to be ‘all men.’ It’s just that men are more complicated than that.”
Don’t hang out 1-on-1 with a guy “friend”, especially if you’re not that into him and he is into you. And even moreso if you have a boyfriend! It’s your yearning for attention & appreciation as an attractive, wanted woman that makes you feed off that.
A girl who is the epitome of perfection in every way *if she does exist* won’t be awed by anyone else. On the other hand, everywhere she goes, she’d be the girl that would receive compliments, stares and awed jaws!
The single women I know are frequently advised, “Stop being so picky,” “Have a better attitude,” and “Lower your standards,” perhaps to the point where they’ll date anyone with a penis and a pulse. I believe this is precisely the wrong approach. Why? Consider our statistical friend, the bell curve. The great bulge in the middle represents areas where you are, well, average. This is also the part of you that could easily be mixed and matched with the largest number of potential mates. The skinnier upper end represents your greatest gifts, the areas where you are most talented and extraordinary. The few people who share your most exceptional characteristics are your tribe, the population that is most likely to contain your heart’s partner.
You may think the root of this is about money, but it’s really linked to something much deeper. It’s about someone else’s limitations on what they think they cannot have—or do not deserve. It really is about how much you feel you are worth. It is about how much you feel you deserve.
The solution – getting over the past and learning to see clearly. Not everybody out there is a jerk, no matter what has happened in the past. In fact, most people are decent and looking for love. Rather than expecting the worst, it is more productive to look for what is different and better. That is the only way to find it!
When I hear you saying that he complains you have changed, it makes me feel like he’s not truly sorry and that he just wants you to “get over it” overnight and be like you were before. And he doesn’t want to be held accountable for what he’s done.
I’m a male in my 30’s working 50-60 hours a week. With that, the gym, and some personal hobbies(mostly not social) I can sink 80 hours and not think of it. Obviously this is not going to work, and excuses are excuses…I have to plan.
When the roles were reversed in the 1989 Clark-Hatfield study and men were doing the sexual offering, about half the women accepted the date. Very, very few agreed to come over that night. Not a single one agreed to go to bed. “You’ve got to be kidding,” was a common reply. “What is wrong with you?” was another. Some things haven’t changed much in the recent past, and aren’t likely to: In replications of the experiment, albeit on paper, researchers have consistently found that men are far more likely than women to accept the casual sexual offer.
For now, allow your genes and natural history to be the best wing man in the business. We definitely don’t need to be slaves to our primate history, but it sure doesn’t hurt to be aware of it and use it gain influence with the opposite sex.
Talk about how you do not want to rush her and you do not want to make her feel uncomfortable in any way. Tell her that you will wait until she is ready, even if it means waiting years. She’ll appreciate these words.
The way you ask the first question, it sounds like you are the one putting forth all the effort to make the relationship work. But cheating is ALWAYS the cheaters fault. A person CHOOSES to cheat. You can’t MAKE them cheat so no matter how bad the relationship was before, no matter how many arguments you may have gotten into, no matter whether he was drunk or not, HE still CHOSE to cheat.
But cute changes everything. When a girl behaves in a cute and feminine manner, it brings out the protective instincts of a man. Instead of feeling threatened by a feminine girl, he feels protective about her. That makes him feel more masculine, and that’s something every guy loves to feel! [Read: Why men love a damsel in distress and feel more emotionally connected to them]
Flirt with body language. Lean in close to him when you talk. Touch his hand or shoulder during conversation. Smile and be genuinely interested in what he has to say. Turn your body toward him when you two are in close proximity. Don’t make these flirting techniques over-exaggerated and noticeable, however. Let your natural flirtatiousness shine.
Many women treat men in ways that diminish their egos, making them feel inadequate. Men would rather have more praise, more acknowledgment of what they do right, and more acknowledgment that they are great guys who are loved and appreciated. Women think men do not need them, and do not value their opinion, their support, or their praise. Women also think men do not care about many things that are important to women, which is why they criticize. Criticism can be a way to verbalize resentment.
Don’t constantly bring it up. Let her tell you when she is ready. Make sure she gets birth control and you wear a condom before having sex. You don’t want her first experience to be ruined by worries and tears.
A downside: the book directs you to online videos for more “secrets” which are really just teasers which lead you to another video they want you to pay for. I can see this as being an endless goose chase designed to keep you hooked & shelling out money while learning very little. I’d have more respect for the author & brand if they took a less scam-like approach. The video they want you to buy has a long intro to sell it which does the classic “play on women’s insecurities & promise grand secrets to solve all of their romance problems in a matter of days” approach, one which many dating gurus do. I find it borderline insulting & I naturally expect it to under-deliver with super obvious “insight” repeated ad nauseam just as the rest seem to. This approach is unfortunate & detracts from a brand that has the potential to be more positive & actually useful, as opposed to the insulting junk I described at the outset.
A man of quality and intrigue can sense the inconsistent energy of a woman who is faking it. He will never trade his loaf of bread for her crumbs. He wants a partner who is on his level, and you must invest in yourself as he has done himself.
Be sexy. Men love women who are sexy and who KNOW they are sexy. The word sexy has no real definition these days — the key ingredient is that you FEEL sexy and then he senses it and thinks you are H-O-T, hot.
If you genuinely have fun and are happy, this automatically makes you more attractive to men. Men are attracted to happy women who can laugh a lot and are happy. Don’t fake it; this comes off as fake and won’t be attractive.
Her body language is closed. If her arms are crossed, she’s hunched over, her head is down, or her face is scowling, it’s hardly going to make me want to approach her. If you want to be approached, do your best to appear relaxed, open and inviting.
Great tips! I have come across many articles that have give all kinds of advices, but none that talk about the aura and owning our space.. these are critical in attracting the right kind of people. You have described everything very clearly and precisely, loved reading your hub! 🙂
Be a woman who makes him feel great about himself and makes him feel needed. Men love the girls who play to their ego and make them feel like Superman. If a guy doesn’t understand how he is needed in your life, he won’t fall in love with you.
Men want to feel manly and significant. They want to provide for you, it’s just their nature to be that way. However, a man will only want to give to a woman who can happily receive what he has to offer, not one who is going to make unnecessary demands in order to feel good about herself and secure in the relationship. A woman who tries to get this assurance from the outside will always be unsatisfied and there is nothing more unappealing to a man than an unhappy woman.
A man has two primary gifts he can offer a woman: his ability to protect and provide. So if he is willing to risk his life to protect yours and invest his time, talent and treasure in order provide for you, all he really wants is a little gratitude in return.
Now before you attack that idea as sexist, we’re really just talking about two people who come together to love, care for and make each other’s life even better by forming a cooperative partnership here. The real beauty of a relationship is when two people come together with a desire to give rather than just take. That’s when the magic is unleashed.
Keeping up a conversation: It would be a blessing if you can keep up a conversation other than just saying “hmmmm”, “k” etc. Please for God’s sake read some books, read the newspaper, contribute to the conversation. We need not Discuss International Taxation, Monetary policy, fiscal policy or Politics, but atleast you should be able to talk about the regular stuff in our life, like Cricket 😉
Too much, or badly applied, make-up – If we can notice it, it’s too much. A natural look will always win the day. And the worst thing is those lines on a girl’s jaw line when she hasn’t applied the foundation properly. I once went on a first date with a girl who had flaky bit of make-up on the bridge of her nose between the eyes. It was like kissing a pasty.
Give places and things you associate with past relationships a new meaning. Have a girls’ night at the restaurant that reminds you of an ex, hold an impromptu dance party to “our song” or curl up with a date to that movie you thought you could never watch again.
And it must be in keeping with my own perspective, because it all seems obvious and self evident to me. I don’t have a list of “must have traits”, I’d rather meet a guy, get to know him, and see how things shake out. It never works. It doesn’t matter if I meet him at work, through friends, in night class, or through a dating service, it always goes exactly the same. Either he’s married, or he decides I’m not good enough for him.