Something about being in a relationship even seems to change instinctual male desires. A good deal of evidence suggests that men sense when a woman is primed for reproduction; they can tell she’s ovulating, for instance, just by sniffing a T-shirt she wore, and they rate her as more attractive—and, in one classic study of strippers, give her better tips—at these times of the month than at others.
Thank you! If we all just sit around hoping someone will come up and talk to us, then we’re just a bunch of people sitting around. You smile, you say “hi”, you strike up a conversation (quick, list 20 things to talk about with a random stranger!) and you see what happens. Maybe he knows someone who knows someone who’s unattached and available. You never know – and you’ll never know if you just sit there.
Since a lot of women ask me this question on a regular basis, I thought let me ask the men I know as to what attracts them to women. I asked my husband, my friends, brothers, and colleagues, and in a nutshell the below points are the ones that they largely mentioned.
I actually AM one of those cute and feminine girls. I ‘ve always been. Here’s some personal experiences for y’all: I once dated a guy with not so much testosterone (he was a skinny guy who was a complete NERD). It sucked, we had nothing to connect to, and he eventually dumped me for a more “dominant” girl. Now, I have a guy who is LOADED with testosterone (and he’s attractive), who likes me. Whenever I get cold, he offers his jacket. When I’m scared or upset, he does everything in his power to make me happy. People say he’s fallen quite hard for me, and I don’t blame him!
And our motives for sex have diversified (as have women’s)—a reality Hatfield now calls “one of our planet’s most important new developments.” We want sex, but sometimes we want it to enhance the emotional relationship. We want to say “I love you” before you do, some of us; we want to race you to love, and win. We want to love you so much that when we see a pretty face we think it’s less pretty than we would if we didn’t love you.
The book is described as providing dating tips that still let *you* be *you*, and don’t require any gamesmanship to meet and keep a quality man; neither claim turns out to be true. In a nutshell, the book’s how-to can be boiled down to this:
However, some people don’t pick such balanced relationships. Some repeatedly sell themselves short, giving way more than they get. In the end, these people often feel cheated, unappreciated, and used. Others repeatedly over-estimate their worth, asking for too much. They too end up feeling frustrated, when no one will meet their unrealistic expectations. Thus, both under-valuing and over-valuing one’s self leads to repeated problems in love.
Well I think a lot of single mamas will tell you it’s not easy to date and take care of a young child, so kudos to you! Just so you know, there are a lot of guys out there who will be immature or not ready or willing to take on a woman with a kid. But then, there are those wonderful men who can handle it. These are the men to meet—don’t be afraid to let your dates know you have a child and being a mother (and finding a good father figure) is important to you. I married a man with kids and don’t have any myself, so it was a big transition. But well worth it. Instead of hitting the bars, try meeting guys through friends, church groups, or activities you enjoy. Good luck!
A man prefers a partner who can understand him, someone he can lean on and trust her opinion. Someone he can engage with in an intellectual discussion. Opinionated and organised female thinker will definitely gain not just his affection but also his respect.
But to call this desire universal is to ignore a great deal of competing information. While men in developed societies go numb for sinuous curves, those in many developing countries surrender to a larger, more parallel contour. Plumpness may be a sign of poor health in the West, but elsewhere it’s a sign that a woman has access to money and food. Some cultures even prefer a body type that health experts consider clinically overweight. And when a man changes culture, he adjusts his preferred measurements accordingly.
If you have trouble attracting men and getting a date, you may be unknowingly sending vibes that push men away. Men think differently than women, so you have to understand how the male psyche works …
Have you ever found yourself coming home from a tough day at work, only to find your husband sitting on the couch, watching TV, with nary a scrap of food in sight (let alone a scented bath drawn for you)? And instead of getting angry, have you then found yourself cooking dinner, folding a few loads of laundry, and picking up your kids’ toys—all while he finishes up his Monday Night Football viewing session?
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what “healthy living” means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
In short, he wants a woman who sees him as the hero he’s always wanted to be — and when you really get that you just might be shocked at how heroic he truly is in his heart and soul. Ladies, that is the real greatness of a man. For the right reason or cause, he would literally die for you. Now if that’s not a hero, what is?
Her body language is closed. If her arms are crossed, she’s hunched over, her head is down, or her face is scowling, it’s hardly going to make me want to approach her. If you want to be approached, do your best to appear relaxed, open and inviting.
Doing what you can to be the most attractive version of you possible is only going to increase your options, increase your power, and increase your effectiveness with attracting the person you ultimately want to attract.
Talk about how you do not want to rush her and you do not want to make her feel uncomfortable in any way. Tell her that you will wait until she is ready, even if it means waiting years. She’ll appreciate these words.
In truth, such a belief in destiny and a perfect soul mate partner often leads people to be overly picky, reject good partners, and end up unlucky in love (Knee, 1998; Knee, Vietor, & Neighbors, 2004). They can also be passive in their search for love, simply taking whoever comes into their lives and makes them feel attraction. In the end, they can have little control over the love in their lives, may make a lot of bad choices from being swept away by emotion, and then get repeatedly disappointed when their lovers are not the perfect soul mate after all.
Take care of your appearance. A woman who takes care of herself will attract men easier than one who doesn’t. Shower with nice-smelling bath products. Use a feminine scented deodorant. Brush your teeth well and always keep mints and gum on hand. If you talk to a guy and your breath is less than fresh, he’s not going to notice anything else about you. Keep your hair neat and clean and take pride in your looks. Use a perfume that smells sweet and sensual.
In the magnetic woman tribe, we don’t do snobby, bitchy or “I’m an entitled princess” attitudes. All that comes from a place of weakness (the attitude of the 95 percent). Instead, we value women (the 5 percent) who come from a place of confidence, poise and inner strength. Women who know they are worth it deserve it, expect it and receive it. They encourage and support other women to come from that place of power.
This is difficult though… So, you can always give your male friend my website too. There are many tips in my archives and many more to come, which can help him make you feel passion for him. Therefore, you can feel passion for the more local choice and win all the way around.
Quirks: Every person has a quirk. And your quirk may make you more adorable. Maybe how your twirl your hair when thinking, twitch your eyes when nervous, or the way you sigh cutely……those do attract men who aren’t looking for plastic toys to play with.
Don’t constantly bring it up. Let her tell you when she is ready. Make sure she gets birth control and you wear a condom before having sex. You don’t want her first experience to be ruined by worries and tears.
When a girl reveals her vulnerable side to a guy, it’s very hard for any guy to ignore her or avoid noticing her vulnerability. And the instant his mind connects with her vulnerability, it eliminates any thoughts of a threat and his protective side creates a bond of protection and attachment with her.
If there is one area I see women mess up time and again, it’s in trying to define a relationship or tie a man down too soon. That’s because her need to feel “safe” is in direct contrast to his innate desire for freedom and not being tied down. If you think about it, every soldier anywhere who has ever been killed in action has died trying to defend their idea of freedom.
Fishy – Oh, Fish. Even though I’m on your reserves list for marriage, I’m determined to use this confession of your turn-ons/turn-offs to move my way up that list. Don’t underestimate me. I’m a determined minx with cycling thighs.
Holy shit. I’m a guy but wow… Just wow. Like, the way you describe it makes it seem to me like you basically want a dizzy slave. Why don’t you just date a child instead? Holy fuck dude. And no, men are not ‘naturally aggresive and dominant’, we’re just socialized to be that way so we get to control women. It’s people like you that’s wrong with the world. You use sexism and conservative gender roles to your advance so you can shame women for being human beings and not dolls. You tell girls that they need to be submissive cute little dolls who exist to fulfill your fantasies. If you can’t handle a real woman, with her loudness, dominance, and opinions, you’re better off single. Which I hope you do because no girl deserves to be manipulated and controlled into submission by you and guys like you.
Just how does such a thing work? Well, you’re going to want to remember the acronym “MAGNETICS” and get ready to get loved up! Without further ado, here’s how to make a man fall in love with you in 9 easy steps.
A man also wants a woman who understands him. He wants a woman who knows why he thinks the way he thinks and does the things he does. She doesn’t always have to agree with him, but she at least needs to understand him and support the “little missions” he has in life.
Lol. Well, nomad spirit, if a good guy sees that everyone has to climb over you to find a seat or a place to stand, who knows what he may be thinking. That being said, most people have their heads buried in a computer whilst in-transit. You just happen to be the one who sits on the floor. 😉
Northwestern University psychologists Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel recently arranged a speed-dating event for 163 university guys and gals and had them indicate beforehand what they wanted in a mate: attractiveness, earning potential, or personality qualities. The men—no surprise—overwhelmingly said they wanted looks. But when they got to the table something changed. Eastwick and Finkel discovered that pre-event ideals failed to predict a person’s true romantic interests.
Initially, you might not feel confident with the idea of taking up any extra space, but it doesn’t really matter—just act like you do anyway. Eventually your discomfort will disappear. Just keep your chin up, and most people will not suspect your anxiety. In any event, it is natural to feel a bit of shyness in taking up your given space when you first begin practicing this important art of attraction. The good news is, in time you won’t even remember why your once felt any nervousness about owning your space. So begin now. I encourage you to first learn to appreciating any small, but pleasurable detail about your surroundings—the crispness in the air, the smell of herbs in your food, the beauty of a clear sky, whether you are surrounded by a plethora of people or none at all.
When the roles were reversed in the 1989 Clark-Hatfield study and men were doing the sexual offering, about half the women accepted the date. Very, very few agreed to come over that night. Not a single one agreed to go to bed. “You’ve got to be kidding,” was a common reply. “What is wrong with you?” was another. Some things haven’t changed much in the recent past, and aren’t likely to: In replications of the experiment, albeit on paper, researchers have consistently found that men are far more likely than women to accept the casual sexual offer.
Relationships take time, dedication, and a steady mix of patience to work out right. After all, you’re trying to build a life with someone, and that’s no easy task. However, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a method to all of the madness or a way to get someone to notice the depth of your love and give you some of that adoration in return.
That would mean that you are trying to get him to like the fake you, not the real you. If so, you can’t blame him for being confused later on, once you take the ‘mask’ off. So here is a little tip from us. Right off the bat, try to be yourself and show him what kind of person you are. It will save you both the time and hassle if you don’t like each other. It’s not just about the time, but it’s fair. We’re not suggesting you don’t take a shower for two days, and don’t do your hair, no. Keep it together, but don’t over do it. There is no need to act like a diva in front of a guy and pretend you are crazy about baseball if you’re actually not that kind of a girl. If you do, next thing you know: he’s taking you to weekly baseball games, and you’re not happy.
I’ve always found powerful women irresistible. Kissinger was right; power is the greatest aphrodisiac, and nothing is sexier than a woman who owns (not rents or leases with an option to buy) her personal sense of power.
Another offensive stereotype: “To a typical feminist, behaving in a demure or coy manner is a sign of weakness. And they can’t accept that a guy finds a cute *and dare, we say it… submissive* girl more attractive than a girl who likes to be a non-girlie girl.”
Bullsh1t. There is no ‘typical’ feminist who is into the manipulation and acting suggested by this article because those things are universally offensive and suggest, like dress codes and curfews for women, that men are not thinking creatures but only life support systems for a set of gonads. Feminism is about being yourself, not buying into some b.s. and outdated cultural meme.
Now before you attack that idea as sexist, we’re really just talking about two people who come together to love, care for and make each other’s life even better by forming a cooperative partnership here. The real beauty of a relationship is when two people come together with a desire to give rather than just take. That’s when the magic is unleashed.
Anyway, the most important factor to keep in mind when we wish to attract a man is to create an “aura of intrigue” in a such a way that it leaves a positive and subtle impression on the observer. In other words, you never want to be too obvious or seem as if you are desperate for attention. Subtlety is the key.
Of course, you are more than just looks, but if you want to capitalize on a 20-million-year-old process that’s embedded in our DNA to attract men into your territory, then let’s study the art of body language and see if it affects the amount of men you attract into your circle. After all, 85 percent of all communication comes through the body.
None of this is earth-shattering, mind-blowing secrets that will give you some epiphany on love & life. Instead, it reads like common sense, the kind many of us missed the memo on, so that it’s not so “common” after all.
He’s the one that needs to understand how he made you feel by cheating on you and if he wants to keep you, then he needs to understand it will take time before you trust him again and he should do everything he can to put your mind at ease and show you through his actions that it won’t happen again.
Don’t be the bad guy. Girls, as much as you don’t believe it, like the guy who listens to them more than the tough guy. Yes, they want to feel protected physically, but nothing beats being emotionally protected. This is very important.
Hi.. Have bought the Attract any man deal and have received nothing. Have also sent email requesting help but haven’t received any reply.. Not sure if ive just been ripped off or there is something I’ve completely missed.
The explanations of male thinking is also not “boys will be boys” trash that insists sexist and misogynistic behaviors are simply “biological” for men & have to be tolerated by women. Instead of making excuses, the author manages to be honest & fair in describing common male mindsets & how & why certain negative attitudes/behaviors are triggered (much as stereotypical female negative behaviors can be triggered by crappy moves on a guys’ part). Since a relationship is a dynamic, it’s only fair to adjust what you can control – yourself. So you learn very subtle methods to hone your social & dating skill to basically COMMUNICATE in a way that men in general will grasp correctly.
It depends on the guy. If the guy is not interested in guys at all then it will not happen, but if the guy is in the closet, or just curious about how it would feel like sleeping with a guy, that’s when it would happen. Your best bet is to drop a hint or two and see how he reacts. If his reaction is negative at all, don’t pursue him any further.
Dave Elliot is a Neurostrategist and Coach who is known for getting results with a variety of techniques that enable rapid transformational change. Connect with Dave for support in moving past bad relationship cycles or a toxic bad boy phase.
First off, you have to be sure your friend is gay or bi, or he won’t want to have sex with you at all. If that’s the case, communication is key. Be frank and serious about it, but also make sure he knows that you’ll be gentle and let him set the pace. Make sure he feels safe, secure, and relaxed with you.
i THINK THAT it depends on situations ,i was before an easyging smiling ,positive woman,but Alot haVE HURT ME , AND I WILL BE NOT AS THE SAME AS BEFORE ANY MORE , I MUST FIRST ANALYSE THE PERSON AND THEN MAKE A DECISION IF I SHOULD TREAT HIM GOOD OR NOT
Men can sense your vibe and you don’t have to say anything to make it come across; in fact, the less you “try” to “prove” what a good mood you are in and the more you focus on actually being in a good mood, the better off you will be.
Asking for and expecting it from those around you is the first step. The more you do it, the stronger that irresistible energy becomes. People will start feeling it too and soon, you won’t even have to ask anymore.
It’s because it’s a difficult process if your social circle is really thin. A guy has to face rejection. He has to get comfortable with it. When a guy is 100% comfortable, and has no hesitation about the concept of rejection — he has no problem with the singles/dating scene. Of course, getting to that point is not easy.
People also get hurt at various times in their dating lives. As a result, they find ways to protect their egos and self-esteem. They find ways of coping with the rejection, disappointments, and frustrations of finding love. Unfortunately, some of those ways are better than others.
More often than we know, some of our habits are encouraging his indifference rather than his interest. So, before we begin, first know that we all do certain things unconsciously. Sometimes our mannerisms and ways of being act against us. Consequently, you must ask yourself, “What is it that I might be doing unknowingly to keep men at bay?”
Kindness: A kind woman is the most attractive woman in the room. Men love it if a woman is kind to the people who maybe from a lower rung of society. It is very attractive if the woman makes it a point to be extra nice to servers at the restaurant.
And just a word of advice, you bitching or moaning here won’t change a way a guy thinks. And you commenters can’t change a guy’s view just by claiming guys should like unfeminine girls instead of feminine girl!