Men want to be with a woman who needs them on more than just a superficial level. A man wants to feel like he’s your hero and your protector. If he feels he offers nothing to the relationship that you couldn’t have on your own, then he will leave.
The solution – honest self-appraisal. It is important for people to know the worth of their contributions in a relationship, as well as the worth of what they desire in return. The two should be roughly equal. This does not have to be an exact tit-for-tat exchange. Nevertheless, the scales should be somewhat balanced to avoid hard feelings and relationship break-down. Relationships that are too one-sided should be avoided. Asking for far more than one is (really) worth should be avoided too.
Volunteer for an LGBTQ organization or nonprofit. Volunteering for an LGBTQ organization will allow you to meet other gay men that hold similar beliefs and have similar passions for activism. This is also a great way to network with other gay people in your area. Try to tap into different circles of friends so you can find other eligible gay men.
Joe Amoia, The Smarter Dating Guy, is the founder and creator of Smarter Dating For Women. For more information visit him online at www.SmarterDatingForWomen.com and while you’re there make sure to sign up for the FR*EE 5 day mini e-course: The 5 Biggest Mistakes Women Make in Dating
In truth, such a belief in destiny and a perfect soul mate partner often leads people to be overly picky, reject good partners, and end up unlucky in love (Knee, 1998; Knee, Vietor, & Neighbors, 2004). They can also be passive in their search for love, simply taking whoever comes into their lives and makes them feel attraction. In the end, they can have little control over the love in their lives, may make a lot of bad choices from being swept away by emotion, and then get repeatedly disappointed when their lovers are not the perfect soul mate after all.
After reading this book, you will not only get the guy, but you’ll actually get him. You will understand how men think and what they’re looking for. Attracting the right guy is about being confident in who you are and the value you bring to the table—so you can find a guy who’s as great of a catch as you are!
Negativity. Nothing drains me more than a woman who is perpetually negative, with a bad attitude. One of my exes was so keen to rag on her co-workers; it was the bulk of what we’d talk about. She would make fun of these people, if she wasn’t doing that she was worried about how someone wronged her at work… Man, I couldn’t deal. When she would come by, she’d immediately hop into bed and not for any “bounce house” antics either. You don’t realize how much a negative person drains from you until you’ve kicked them to the curb!
Never leave, hang up, or sign off angry. One thing that happens a lot after the honeymoon period, is that you’ll notice little things your significant other does that bother you. Don’t call her out on them, it will cause a fight and you don’t want that.
Have a conversation about the seriousness of the relationship. This all comes down to what you are looking for. You may be looking for a committed long-term relationship or you may just want to have fun. Either way, the guy that you’re with should understand what you want out of the relationship. Have a conversation with them about your expectations and don’t be afraid to hurt their feelings. If you wait and they make assumptions, it may end up hurting their feelings even worse later on.
And, I mean that. If humanity is such a junkpile, then, why bother? Because, all you’re really saying, all this Care Bears in Love-*article* says, is that some peoples’ Hatred and Anger and Emotional Murder is offensive and unacceptable, and others’ Hatred and Anger and Emotional Murder, is really not so bad. That’s the message, The Actual Message, of “don’t expect perfection”…which, of course, then becomes a new buzzphrase for “settling”.
The explanations of male thinking is also not “boys will be boys” trash that insists sexist and misogynistic behaviors are simply “biological” for men & have to be tolerated by women. Instead of making excuses, the author manages to be honest & fair in describing common male mindsets & how & why certain negative attitudes/behaviors are triggered (much as stereotypical female negative behaviors can be triggered by crappy moves on a guys’ part). Since a relationship is a dynamic, it’s only fair to adjust what you can control – yourself. So you learn very subtle methods to hone your social & dating skill to basically COMMUNICATE in a way that men in general will grasp correctly.
I divorced my husband boz he hit me almost 5 times in 2 and half years of our marriage. he apologised and promised to never do it again.but he keep saying that you also made mistakes in this period.I love him but cant trust him. what should I do
The predator model of love leads to a hunter’s way of dating: Seek large gatherings of your prey, dangle a false self as bait, wait for an individual to stray from the herd, then pounce on him with all the wit and wile it takes to bring him down. Internet matchmaking services, singles bars, speed dating, personal ads and even blind dating all borrow from this “statistical mass” logic. I’ve seen clients spend years dating this way, entering one briefly exciting, painfully doomed relationship after another. This is not a numbers game. It’s a soul search.
Am most grateful for the advice you have been giving. But pls most at times am not able to watch the videos you have been sending,I would love lt ,if possible it should also be written so that we that we can’t watch we can read. Please do that for me.
A really good friend of mine is the more ‘agressive and dominant’ type, and I noticed that attractive guys were going after her. I was a bit envious at first, but then I found out they were just using her. There is this ONE guy who doesn’t have much testosterone, but he truly loves and cares about her.
We have grown so accustomed to meeting others’ standards that we may not know what we want in a relationship. But in learning to love ourselves, we look for partners who will love us in return, and write off those who will bring negativity and judgment into our lives.
Any one know where I can meet a man like mr. Platts in the Denver area? Lol I’m seriously horrible at going out to “find that guy”. Mainly because I have a job and an almost 2 year old. Men show me their interested but they usually only want one thing.. Any suggestions?? People says men find single mothers attractive but where are these men at???
I loved this I have been doing allot of research on how to people have that certain quality that attracts men and think this is the most helpful. Many websites make you watch an hour long video to find out in the end that you have to pay money for the real secrets which is not right. This gives you simple steps with an effect. Thanks for some great tips! 🙂
It is not easy for people to find a good man, and to be honest it is not easy for a man to find a good person. This is written from a man’s perspective to help frustrated people that are sincerely looking for a good man but keep finding losers.
Im a successful middle age womean. Six years ago my husband cheated on me. It was devastating. After realizing I no longer loved him, I left the marriage. Now Im interested in dating. But its been a while since Ive dated (18 yrs). I just don’t know how to get the process started. Ive met a few men who seem interested then all of a sudden things go cold. I dont know what Im doing wrong. Do you have any suggestions for me?
Who can listen: At the end of the day, men are human, and are social beings. We have our own insecurites, fears and thoughts. We need someone to lend us a ear, Pat on our back and say everything is going to be alright. We need someone who will listen to what we have to say, rather than who would keep on bitching or gossiping or talking about some stupid reality show.
Plz sombody hlp. I want to do sex wid my bf but he isnt interested as he has so many tension in his mind,and he always telling me dat we wil do sex but not befoe our marriage but i need him now.. He doznt undrstand my feelings..plz give sum suggestion so dat i can attracted him towards me plz 🙁
I have heard Matthew Hussey speak on the radio and I was looking forward to reading his book, bu I was dissapointed to learn that after every chapter I had to sign in to the websiteand become a paid member in order to look t th video that accompanied each chapter……I felt thi was more of a pay as you go long “help book” than anyhing else…….I was extremely dissapointed and expected more from the author…….
it’s natural instincts. Men evolved to want to protect/provide because women are physically weaker, and so would have a hard time protecting themselves/kids. Also, Japanese women have jobs, and they still act feminine. And a man would have had to be aggressive and dominant to hunt, and to protect children/women. (who are physically weaker) If a women is all masculine, it makes her less attractive, because that’s not what a man instinctively wants in a woman. Why would a man be attracted to a woman that shows traits of someone with high testosterone? And how would that trigger his protective instincts in any way whatsoever?
Women who are willing to hide or detach from their real selves in order to bag a man often seem to believe that the right guy will give them a sense of identity and self-confidence. This is backward. Looking for love before developing a strong sense of self is like trying to find the mate of a shoe you’ve never seen.
I’m sorry to hear your boyfriend cheated on you. I hope it’s a one time thing, that he’s truly sorry, and it never happens again. Unfortunately, people who cheat often cheat again. Of course there are plenty of exceptions to that rule and I hope your boyfriend is one of them.
Learn how to flirt by paying attention to how you look and portray yourself. Flirting begins with personal appearance and great self esteem. Learn also to manipulate body parts that will grab his attention and keep him interested in you