What women think men want from them often causes women to have resentment and anger toward men, and feel hopeless about ever developing a wonderful, warm, romantic partnership. What men think women want from them often causes them much of the same feelings and frustration. The sad part is that it does not have to be this way, if only we would realize that both men and women are human beings first and pretty much want the same thing. But, you don’t have to take my word for this. I asked a number of men and women who are actively involved in personal growth and development what they want from a partner in order to build a great relationship. You will find their answers unexpected.
Time and chance can change a man’s physical ideals as much as place. One research team recently compared the measurements of Playboy Playmates of the Year from 1960 to 2000 to economic conditions in the United States over the same period and found that tougher times called for larger playmates. A 2005 study in Psychological Science reported that men who were manipulated to feel either hungry or poor preferred heavier female figures—a sign that, according to the researchers, resource availability can “influence preferences for potential mates” even among Western males in a wealthy culture. In other words, we can live in New York but possess a Zulu state of mind.
It amazes me to hear women go down a list of the treatment they expect, places they want to wine and dine, trips they want to go on and pampering they want to receive. Yet they skimp and don’t invest in doing these things for themselves. Boggles the mind!
Listen to the way he talks to you, also his body communication. Try to find things in common to keep a conversation going. Men always love a girl or guy who could just be themself around him, and in public.
I love both of these men, but the guy out of state is the one I feel emotionally and sexually drawn to. I know, on paper, that it makes much more sense to date the local man, but I don’t feel those feelings for him. So how does one make logical choices when faced with intense emotional feelings? I can’t see myself dating my local friend when I don’t feel sexually or emotionally attracted to him, but I worry that I don’t have those feelings for him because there’s something wrong with me.
I’ve been looking into things to keep my marriage solid, and I figured I should keep him attracted to me. I ended up here. You reminded me of just how important confidence is! He used to tell me all the time when we started dating how much he loved my confidence. Love these tips! 🙂
I have been crazy about this older guy that I work with for years.First as a subordinate, now as a colleague. We have finally had an intimate moment that he called “something significant” however, we have not had sex. Problem is, I’ve been flirting, listening and being supportive as a friend but inside I’m going crazy with wanting him. He has recently broken up with a girlfriend and I know he is not ready for another relationship…last thing I want is to be the rebound girl. He has admitted that he is physically attracted to me and we have spoken about being lovers…only problem is, I don’t just want him in my bed, I want to be in his heart as well. I feel like I’m deceiving him because I told him I’m okay with just being lovers and that I will not expect any more than that. But he holds my heart already and I am dying not being able to show him how I really feel about him. As much as I want him physically, I want him to love me back as much as I love him. This is such a mess because I know that if I was to say no to being intimate with him now, I am making a liar of myself. Any advise?
Here is some great news for those women who are resigned to the myth that all men cheat — infidelity and “a roaming eye” are as distasteful to men as they are to women. Great men know how to build a wonderful relationship, and they know fidelity is the main ingredient.
“Write down all the traits of the type of person you have liked, are attracted to or have dated, and whittle it down to 10 qualities,” says Whitney Casey, author of The Man Plan. When picking guys in the new year, you can keep three of those 10 qualities—for the other seven, go for different types of traits. “Any time you’re on a date and you notice that there are more than three common traits from your list, you don’t give it another date. Stop right there.”
“Whether you’re in a committed relationship, or you’ve had little luck with men, this book will unravel your man-mystery and put you in control, which seems fair to me, no matter what my husband says.” (Giuliana Rancic, TV host, devoted wife)
Men can sense your vibe and you don’t have to say anything to make it come across; in fact, the less you “try” to “prove” what a good mood you are in and the more you focus on actually being in a good mood, the better off you will be.
I’m a guy and I just don’t get a few girls girls who’ve commented here! Every time a guy says something truthful (in this case, the author), and it makes you feel insecure, you just jump down his throat and try to force him to say he’s wrong! 🙂
Tip #3: The Vibrant Vibe. According to Adam, the law of attraction is that like attracts like. By this he means if you want to attract fun and exciting guys, you’ve got to be fun and exciting yourself. He says, “if you have the stink face’ look all night and appear miserable, guess who you’ll be attracting? You guessed it, the creepers.” Ugh, we all know the ones right? The ones who are all, “I bet I could make you smile, girl.” Ew. On the other hand, if you’re enjoying yourself, you’re more likely to attract great guys. According to Adam, “women who get approached by quality guys always have the vibe that projects I’m loving my night regardless!'” On a non-guy-related note, having fun is always superior to not having fun.
You can hit all the fine points of our age-old mating dance, but if you don’t pull away from the pack, then he might not ever go in for the approach due to the wall of your protective clan. Obviously, if you are alone you need not worry about this one, but if you and the girls or guy friends are out and you see a young buck checking you out, it might be time to take a stroll, which will invite him into your own personal space.
Those are essentially your two choices though… Learn to see when your emotions are misleading you and use logic. OR, find someone who is both more suited to be a relationship partner and can trigger those emotions in you.
I know that the simple answer to my situation would be to just ‘get a life’ bt even that does not stopped me from obssessing about my boyfriend, i would be out having fun but the minute i walk into my door i call him up, its pathetic.
Girls are more easily attracted to a guy who appears healthy and stress-free, has a good level of testosterone which makes him appear more manly and chiseled, and has a protective streak in him which makes him a good mate material and a father.
I divorced my husband boz he hit me almost 5 times in 2 and half years of our marriage. he apologised and promised to never do it again.but he keep saying that you also made mistakes in this period.I love him but cant trust him. what should I do
The key to a great first date is picking a fun, inexpensive, casual activity that allows you to talk but also keeps you busy. We’ve come up with 50 fun first date ideas for you and 50 gentlemen–or maybe just you and Adam Sandler.
“Men seemed to have a heightened sense of the precariousness of the male gender role,” says University of South Florida psychologist Jennifer Bosson, the paper’s lead author. “We haven’t found many men willing to admit that my manhood is often in question, but when you ask men in general if manhood is something that’s easy to lose and hard to attain, they agree that’s the case.” Or, as the Kinsey Institute’s Julia Heiman puts it: “Heterosexual men have a little trouble saying they really like kissing and cuddling.”
The type of woman that I would want emotionally, a feminine woman who is grateful, nurturing, etc, is not exactly compatible with “independent woman”. The type of woman I’d want for a life partner isn’t compatible with an independent woman’s ideals.
If you’ve ever fallen hard for someone in the early stages of crushes and dating, you know the most frustrating — and the greatest — thing about it can be trying to gain their attention and earn their returned love. You want to prove yourself as someone worthy of their time and affection, but it’s never just as easy as casting a magic spell to make it all go well, is it?
Relationships take time, dedication, and a steady mix of patience to work out right. After all, you’re trying to build a life with someone, and that’s no easy task. However, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a method to all of the madness or a way to get someone to notice the depth of your love and give you some of that adoration in return.
The good news is that according to the latest research there are more than 20 Million single men in the US alone. So ladies, they are out there. The key to finding them is to know where they tend to congregate.
Great tips! I have come across many articles that have give all kinds of advices, but none that talk about the aura and owning our space.. these are critical in attracting the right kind of people. You have described everything very clearly and precisely, loved reading your hub! 🙂
Relationship doctor, Bob Grant, makes a powerful statement in the opening of his book, What’s He Really Thinking, when he states, “When you appreciate men for their differences, it makes men more willing to allow you to influence them.”
Before you start rolling your eyes and saying, “Cheesy!” just listen to what Michelle, 27, of San Diego, says: “You’re much less likely to settle for someone who isn’t amazing if you know how to have fun without a guy. The very day I told my friend I was not interested in relationships and ‘I just want to have fun with my friends’ was the day I met my boyfriend.”
I realize this may not be comfortable for you, but if you take baby steps and find a way to get truly comfortable “letting go” you will notice how much this turns a man on. Do what feels natural, not what you think you are “supposed to do.”
There is no greater feeling to a man that that of being truly seen and appreciated for who he is by the woman he cares about. The trouble is a lot of women can’t see past the things he isn’t doing right. And what’s worse is a lot of women will harp on a man over these things, which makes him less inclined to do the things she wants. Instead, it makes him feel like a failure and he will shut down as a result.
And just a word of advice, you bitching or moaning here won’t change a way a guy thinks. And you commenters can’t change a guy’s view just by claiming guys should like unfeminine girls instead of feminine girl!
Once you understand this, it kind of takes the pressure of the entire ‘hunt’. Humor is a great way to attract a guy to you, and to make him be interested in you, and if you’re wondering why, it’s simply because men love to be around women who are entertaining and know how to make him laugh. We always say men are not serious enough, well: draw a conclusion from it. That means they love to joke around, so once you know this take it to your advantage, trust us, you can’t go wrong.
A regular man who isn’t suffering from low testosterone would always find a feminine woman more attractive than a woman who thinks femininity is overrated and displays traits that are traditionally considered manly.
I’ve heard men say, “It almost seemed as if she floated across the room, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.” That is the kind of attention you want to aim for. Wherever you happen to be, when you are walking, if you’re not owning that space, something is wrong. Walking well gives you “presence” and charisma. A quality man is attracted to a woman who walks beautifully. When you are in “best walk” mode, rest assured, you are turning heads. A focused, yet relaxed stride is a valuable and easy tool you must use to get him to notice you right away. Do not walk too slowly, or too fast… just a good even stride.