The book is described as providing dating tips that still let *you* be *you*, and don’t require any gamesmanship to meet and keep a quality man; neither claim turns out to be true. In a nutshell, the book’s how-to can be boiled down to this:
I have heard Matthew Hussey speak on the radio and I was looking forward to reading his book, bu I was dissapointed to learn that after every chapter I had to sign in to the websiteand become a paid member in order to look t th video that accompanied each chapter……I felt thi was more of a pay as you go long “help book” than anyhing else…….I was extremely dissapointed and expected more from the author…….
A downside: the book directs you to online videos for more “secrets” which are really just teasers which lead you to another video they want you to pay for. I can see this as being an endless goose chase designed to keep you hooked & shelling out money while learning very little. I’d have more respect for the author & brand if they took a less scam-like approach. The video they want you to buy has a long intro to sell it which does the classic “play on women’s insecurities & promise grand secrets to solve all of their romance problems in a matter of days” approach, one which many dating gurus do. I find it borderline insulting & I naturally expect it to under-deliver with super obvious “insight” repeated ad nauseam just as the rest seem to. This approach is unfortunate & detracts from a brand that has the potential to be more positive & actually useful, as opposed to the insulting junk I described at the outset.
The first step is to change our undesirable habits. We do this by reminding ourselves that we are being noticed, even if for a split second. Frankly, it matters that we emit a positive and interesting vibe. By developing an aura of natural confidence we are also more likely to weed out undesirable men. How so?
If he doesn’t, then life is too short to be unhappy. You shouldn’t have to spend every day wondering if tomorrow will be the day he cheats again. And you most definitely shouldn’t feel like you have to do more in the relationship to keep him around. Don’t let him “have his cake and eat it too” as the old saying goes.
It occurred to me after I saw the video, men also play hard to get – well at least they say they do (treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen). Want to make sure have got this right. Would this just be a ‘front’, or self protection from men (as mentioned in previous blogs)? Trying to be ‘super cool’? I tend to give up if I get no response. Sorry if I’m being contrary – just want to know if am on the right lines.
A man usually feels cautious around overdressed and overrated woman. He knows how much the perfume she’s wearing costs but he prefers to breathe fresh air. He dreads breaking her long witchy black nails during an intimate encounter, so he prefers to hang out with a woman he can touch without fear.
I’ve been looking into things to keep my marriage solid, and I figured I should keep him attracted to me. I ended up here. You reminded me of just how important confidence is! He used to tell me all the time when we started dating how much he loved my confidence. Love these tips! 🙂
Roxelana, called Hürrem Sultan, entered the harem of Süleyman the Great as a Ukrainian slave, when she was only 15. She quickly beat out all of her gorgeous and numerous competitors. Her joyful spirit and playful temperament earned her a new name, Hürrem, from Persian Khorram, “the cheerful one”. In the Istanbul harem, her influence over the Sultan soon became legendary. She was allowed to give birth to more than one son which was a stark violation of the old imperial harem principle, “one concubine mother — one son.”
None of this is earth-shattering, mind-blowing secrets that will give you some epiphany on love & life. Instead, it reads like common sense, the kind many of us missed the memo on, so that it’s not so “common” after all.
I enjoyed this hub tremendously, as it reminds me of the importance of confidence in the dating scene and in other circumstances. You have great ideas of the subtle things women can do to get the attention of men. Some women are naturals. but others must work at it. Thanks for sharing your ideas, Pinning hub. Blessings, Audrey
Men can detect that the office interaction is a little sour or frigid. How to become great, gorgeous and sweet, and use flirting, charisma and creating the setting, so that men might make passes at you at least once a day and have suitors in the office occasionally walking around you. Take care of your body with good nutrition, hygiene and exercise; why not? Use a beautician and fashion stylist to optimize your looks.
Flying first-class is an experience I recommend to everyone. The service, food and level of comfort are amazing. It feels like you have a personal butler who dotes on you and caters to your every whim. But what does flying first class have to do with love and attracting high-caliber men?
This article is perfect…evn i m an Asian girl and i am naturally feminine……..that cutness,shyness,kindness,coyness is in build in me and for which i am loved by many. Evn though i am not in relationship but i am in search for a manly boy……and for those girls who are disagreeing let me tell u either you are frustated by yourself or jealous of other that you don’t have that femininty……bcoz this is wat the boys love the most
Tip #3: The Vibrant Vibe. According to Adam, the law of attraction is that like attracts like. By this he means if you want to attract fun and exciting guys, you’ve got to be fun and exciting yourself. He says, “if you have the stink face’ look all night and appear miserable, guess who you’ll be attracting? You guessed it, the creepers.” Ugh, we all know the ones right? The ones who are all, “I bet I could make you smile, girl.” Ew. On the other hand, if you’re enjoying yourself, you’re more likely to attract great guys. According to Adam, “women who get approached by quality guys always have the vibe that projects I’m loving my night regardless!'” On a non-guy-related note, having fun is always superior to not having fun.
Unless you are going to keep all your hair (rarer these days but again this is a total individual preference and there are some guys who do like this so if there’s a man who you know likes this go for it). I would say in general, though, trimming at the very least is a good idea.
► Independence: An independent person is attractive because there is no love lost when each of them have to do their own stuff. There is no compulsion to do everything together. There is no need for constant pampering. A relationship is a team work. Each needs to know how to do their own work independently in order to play.
Relationships need a lot of effort, but sometimes it’s not easy to figure out where you should be directing that effort. Want to be more successful in dating? Then you’ll want to follow these simple steps for how to make a man fall in love with you, because believe it or not, there is actually a formula. It might not be magic, but it’s as close to a magic as you can get — and it’s also far more reliable.
Imperfections: Have to stress the point again, because we are so much obsessed with the cover girls that we forget being organic is being sexy. Almost every guy agrees too much makeup is a turn-off. They want to see some natural beauty in you. The mole is absolutely okay, so is the buck teeth. They tend to associate you with your marks and scars, and it makes you uniquely attractive to them and distinguish you from rest of the crowd.
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And of course, as everyone knows, like attracts like. As Margaret Paul, Ph.D said: “People attract each other at their common level of woundedness or their common level of health.” It’s easier and gets better long-term results to fix the core problem than to practice acting.
This article sucks! “Contrary to popular belief, don’t be yourself. Evolve.” What is so wrong with being yourself?! Women and men need to be authentically themselves. It is so beautiful when you find someone who loves and cares about you because you are you. That is what love is, not some bullshit circus show.
I understand the instinct to compare yourself to other women and to other people in general. Maybe you see another woman and you think to yourself, “if only I had ….” (insert whatever it is that you wish you could change about yourself that she has).
I completely agree with this article, 100 percent! I saw this on a page that was linked in a forum where a girl was bitching and moaning about how screwed up men are. But hey, don’t you get it? This is what men want. And this is what men find irresistible! Men want to be like men, and there’s nothing wrong with women displaying their femininity.
Women need not move to Mpolweni to find such flexibility in action. Even among developed societies, shape preferences vary sharply. In countries like Britain or Denmark, where women have achieved social and economic independence, a low waist-to-hip ratio is less important to men than it is in places where women rely more heavily on men for resource acquisition, such as Greece or Portugal, Swami and other researchers find. The more resources a woman can gather on her own, the less men care whether or not her figure conforms to the supposed ideal.
[…] For the male perspective on turn-ons and turn-offs, written by three of my favorite male dating bloggers (Jackie Summers, The Urban Dater, Jeffrey Platts and Fishy) see this collaborative post by Kelly Seal. […]
In keeping your back straight and your chin up, you radiate an air of self assurance. We all know that confidence is an exceptionally appealing trait. Even if you don’t feel sure of yourself, keep that spine straight! Long story short, great posture always makes you look more fascinating. If you are not used to holding your head high, do it anyway! Having beautiful posture is a non-negotiable; it is also, without question, one of the traits that men say they notice most about a woman—besides a nice body. But right now, we’re talking about your bearing and your essence, not your lean or curvy body.
One of those very first steps of courtship, dating, and mating is getting noticed by a potential lover. Sometimes, however, those first steps are the most difficult. How do you get that hot guy at the bar to come over and say hello? How do you get the cute gal at the coffee shop to smile and chat? Many people struggle with those questions – and miss potential romance as a result.
First, like I said before – he starts to bond with you. He notices that you’re really listening to him and that you’re engaging with him about things that he cares about – and that draws him closer to you.
We have grown so accustomed to meeting others’ standards that we may not know what we want in a relationship. But in learning to love ourselves, we look for partners who will love us in return, and write off those who will bring negativity and judgment into our lives.
More often than we know, some of our habits are encouraging his indifference rather than his interest. So, before we begin, first know that we all do certain things unconsciously. Sometimes our mannerisms and ways of being act against us. Consequently, you must ask yourself, “What is it that I might be doing unknowingly to keep men at bay?”
Realize differences in communication. Men can often miss the subtle messages that people send in their body language. Don’t judge a guy because of this; it’s just the way men are. Subtle body language like smiles only make a man think that you might like him; he can’t assume it means you’re interested without being accused of being a self-absorbed jerk. To drive the point home, gradually introduce more “obvious” body language like playful touches on the arm, playful banter and teasing, winks, inside jokes, playfulness, or (when you know him better) attempts to find a man’s ticklish spots. (Don’t be afraid to kindly tease him over minor things – people who pretend a man is perfect are regarded as weak in their eyes.) Flirting will not only show him you like him enough to get that physical and playful, but also help to break the physical barrier and allow a man to feel more comfortable making a few advances to you. But don’t forget to look at how he is reacting to you.
Smile: Dealmaker. If you ever find a guy out of your league, just flash a smile, he will respond. Every man responds to a genuine smile. And again, not looking for a Madhuri Dixit here. Just flash those gorgeous gems and see the magic!!
Men are picky when it comes to dating. If you are single and out there dating, I am sure you are very aware of just how choosy men are. Women are particular too, but somehow the men seem to be worse. Usually, men have an idea in their head of a type of gal to whom they are attracted, and either you fit the mold or you don’t. However, occasionally a man will fall for a girl who is outside of his wheelhouse. Wouldn’t it be great if you could be that woman who could attract ANY GUY (within reason of course)?
Women are the prime target of marketers, social media and politicians. They had managed to manipulate women’s thoughts bombarding them with the “how to” messages: how to dress to impress, how to walk and talk, how to acquire the ideal body shape, even how to express themselves.
Last would be intensity. With a latin base of tensionem, (to stretch, struggle, contest) to me this means our energy will have a natural, (hopefully) sustainable tension, a key to battling eventual boredom.
A lot of women are asking how to impress a guy and what to wear to impress a guy. The truth is that the answer varies from one case of the other. However, there are some general pointers and guidelines that you should follow in order to maximize your chances of being asked out again. Making an impression is not as difficult as it sounds.
My children’s father and myself broke up 8 years ago and we have recently rekindled our love, however I am also dealing with the fact that he has another child which is pretty much why we broke up in the first place, I will admit him and I were 20 when we met and we hadn’t yet grown up I’ve learned alot through the years him and I were apart, I never thought we would ever feel anything for one another again, but we do…. I love that man so much but it’s very difficult for me to see him dealing with his other child’s mothe, I feel as though he’s hiding me from her because she doesn’t know about us, I want this man to be my husband when the time is right, sometimes I get confused and I wonder if he loves me the same, I know he does but I wonder how much! I’m trying to get the ring, I’ve been dealing with him for 10 years and I want him to pop the question! ??????? I don’t want to waste my time, what do u suggest??? My mind is beginning to wonder and I’m sensing myself going into survival mode, I don’t want to be that way even though he hurt me years ago, I want to keep the past behind and focus on getting my ring and the future, hopefully he is included in what I’ve always wanted!
Be sexy. Men love women who are sexy and who KNOW they are sexy. The word sexy has no real definition these days — the key ingredient is that you FEEL sexy and then he senses it and thinks you are H-O-T, hot.
In the magnetic woman tribe, we don’t do snobby, bitchy or “I’m an entitled princess” attitudes. All that comes from a place of weakness (the attitude of the 95 percent). Instead, we value women (the 5 percent) who come from a place of confidence, poise and inner strength. Women who know they are worth it deserve it, expect it and receive it. They encourage and support other women to come from that place of power.
Jade….So very glad you found this article at this crucial time in your life. How kind of you to call it “brilliant.” I am flattered. But I hear you. I was used to plenty of attention as well. In my case, I started getting “older,” so I had to remind myself of all the things I had been doing differently than a fair amount of other ladies. The good news? Those things still work. Ha!
I’m not saying you should just let him do what he wants and not say a peep. There is a right way to encourage a guy to meet your fundamental needs (when I say needs, I mean universal needs we have as humans, like the desire to bond, connect, and support each other, not texting every hour on the hour), but it has to be done in a way that empowers him, not in a way that makes him feel like a failure.
Nothing annoys me more than someone who tells you not to feel the pain you’re in. Life can be tough – it lets you down, it feels like being punched in the gut on the bad days. But the question now is: How do you get out of it?
When you realize that simple fact, you’ll understand why he’ll feel reluctant to just give it away, but don’t worry. The good news is he will trade his freedom for something better, so just be better and don’t try to force him into a decision too soon.
Significantly more men approached when the woman smiled (22% vs. 4%). According to Gueguen (2008), this is due to the fact that men are looking for a woman to show interest in them as a clear signal to approach. The women who make eye contact AND smile give such a clear signal. So, if you want a man to notice you and approach, make eye contact and smile!
He simply wants you to appreciate that he works hard to take care of you even if he can’t give you everything he’d like. That’s really not a lot to ask. So if you want a guy to see the very best in you and fall hopelessly in love, the one thing you can’t do is take him for granted or disrespect his efforts.
Only problem is, we’re on Earth. What the research revealed to those on this planet is that within the male gender the question is far from settled. Envisioning a mate having acrobatic sex with a stranger made only about a quarter of Dutch and German men more upset than picturing her in love with the fellow, and about half of Americans responded the same way.
A good relationship is like a dance. It requires two people giving their all and learning the steps to work with each other so they don’t crush a lot of toes. And like a good dance, there are steps you can take in your relationship to help make it flow smoothly, and keep you from stepping all over your partner by accident.
A really good friend of mine is the more ‘agressive and dominant’ type, and I noticed that attractive guys were going after her. I was a bit envious at first, but then I found out they were just using her. There is this ONE guy who doesn’t have much testosterone, but he truly loves and cares about her.
Men and women are desperate for uniqueness, a person with independent thoughts, not a receiver or followers of the news and trends, someone who can analyse things and come up with their her own conclusions.