9. The Internet. Online dating used to be for computer nerds and agoraphobics, but times have changed. There are now millions of nice, normal guys a mere click away. “It’s becoming one of the best ways to meet people, as it allows you to sift through large numbers of people while sitting in your own home,” says author Atwood. Of course, one does have to read the ads with a skeptical eye — the veteran online dater understands that words like “tall” and “fit” are pretty subjective. But as a woman, the odds are in your favor when you use Internet dating — Match.com, one of the nation’s largest online dating services, reports that 62 percent of its members are men.
Your attitude shows up on your face and in your body language. Do you seem like someone ho finds life interesting? This is important. In order to look as if you find life remarkable and enjoyable, it is always a good idea to practice maintaining a slight smile, the kind that makes your eyes crinkle ever so slightly. Think Mona Lisa, or bigger if you like. Mona Lisa looks as though she finds life rather amusing; she is infinitely calm, yet mysterious—and that is a striking combination. No man wants to be around a woman who is bored, agitated or unfriendly. Depressed or angry women drive men away in droves.
Change something—anything! Wear glasses? Try contacts. Addicted to your flatiron? Go au naturel. Never worn orange? Hello, tangerine dress! Whatever you do—no matter how big or small—should make you feel renewed and different and boost your confidence.
Hi, I tried to buy the attract any man video and the 4 other free things that were offered but the button did not appear. Can you send me a personal link so I may purchase it? Thank you! Cheryl, Canada.
Be a woman with interesting things going on. Men love a woman who has her own life with fun and different things happening. No man wants a girl who is always sitting at home waiting for him or a woman who needs him to provide 100 percent of the fun.
“I think one of the biggest myths that has been perpetuated by some evolutionary psychologists—though not all—is that there is one ‘man,’ or ‘men,’ with universal behaviors,” says psychologist Viren Swami of the University of Westminster in London. “In most socioeconomically developed societies, there is—not surprisingly—a preference for relatively slender women. In many developing societies, on the other hand, the ideal female body size is heavier.” That may be little solace to some Western women, but as Swami has found, even Western males demonstrate malleability in figure preference.
Response: Honestly, it depends on the man. I personally can be pretty selfless in nature, this is because I don’t like to be ignorant. Being selfless is something that helps me in not being ignorant, so I find it to be a very good trait for others to have, being insecure can be a helpful thing and creating false confidence in yourself can be dangerous. It isn’t bad to have confidence and be secure in yourself when you are in a position that makes you feel like that, as long as you don’t let it all get to your head and you begin to undermind others. It is expected that people who aren’t secure in their knowledge of how others will respond to them will seek out how to elicit a response from others that they desire. That is how being insecure helps you find answers because you must understand that you don’t know everything, so you can’t be confident in yourself if you really don’t know what you must do.
To me, it’s a numbers game. If you see a girl that you like, then go over and strike up a conversation, period. If she’s not into you, fine, you may feel stupid for a few mins, but atleast you went to bat. Better than watching her walk away and wondering if…
If you are single and available you want to tell everyone you know and like that you are ready and looking for a great man. But make sure to tell them what kind of guy you are looking for. Otherwise they may set you up with their unemployed, neighbor who has commitment issues.
Never leave, hang up, or sign off angry. One thing that happens a lot after the honeymoon period, is that you’ll notice little things your significant other does that bother you. Don’t call her out on them, it will cause a fight and you don’t want that.
Unless you are going to keep all your hair (rarer these days but again this is a total individual preference and there are some guys who do like this so if there’s a man who you know likes this go for it). I would say in general, though, trimming at the very least is a good idea.
It’s easy to push a thought away and assume it’s wrong to be feminine or assume it’s a bad thing to change. But trust me, change is good. And change is inevitable. So you’re going to change whether you like it or not. And you have a choice to become a better you, or a worse you. [Read: 10 ways to achieve perfection in every step you take]
Tip #1: Show them pearly whites. Adam’s first tip is a simple and easy one–smile at the guy you’re hoping will approach you. He say, “Men are total wusses when it comes to approaching women. If they don’t feel confident that you want them to come over, then they’ll almost never make the move.” Evidently, male clients are always asking how to be sure that a woman actually wants them to come over, and Adam advises that a smile gives them “a solid 80% chance” since “there is no 100% certainty when it comes to dating”. If you take the tiny little initiative to smile his way, it will encourage him to make a move.
“This works, period. No sugar-coating, no gimmicks, no cheesy lines: Matt’s advice is practical, sometimes blunt, and most importantly, effective. You WILL get the guy after reading this, end of story!” (Louise Roe, fashion journalist, TV host)
A downside: the book directs you to online videos for more “secrets” which are really just teasers which lead you to another video they want you to pay for. I can see this as being an endless goose chase designed to keep you hooked & shelling out money while learning very little. I’d have more respect for the author & brand if they took a less scam-like approach. The video they want you to buy has a long intro to sell it which does the classic “play on women’s insecurities & promise grand secrets to solve all of their romance problems in a matter of days” approach, one which many dating gurus do. I find it borderline insulting & I naturally expect it to under-deliver with super obvious “insight” repeated ad nauseam just as the rest seem to. This approach is unfortunate & detracts from a brand that has the potential to be more positive & actually useful, as opposed to the insulting junk I described at the outset.
I also don’t follow what you mean by ‘seeking a partner of equal value’. The fact that most women value men who are violent, abusive, and dysfunctional thugs—or weak, effeminate metrosexual types—illustrates how little most of them value masculinity at all.
6. Science-Fiction Conventions. You’ll find a slightly geeky crowd here, but that’s OK. Guys who weren’t popular in high school make excellent boyfriends. After the braces come off and the acne clears up, you’re left with a smart, nice-looking man who on some level will always feel extremely grateful to have a girlfriend. Plus, they’re handy when your computer crashes. So, read a couple of good science-fiction books — or just rent The Lord of the Rings. Then ask a late-bloomer about his favorite Phillip K. Dick novel, and he’ll take it from there.
More often than we know, some of our habits are encouraging his indifference rather than his interest. So, before we begin, first know that we all do certain things unconsciously. Sometimes our mannerisms and ways of being act against us. Consequently, you must ask yourself, “What is it that I might be doing unknowingly to keep men at bay?”
Great tips! I have come across many articles that have give all kinds of advices, but none that talk about the aura and owning our space.. these are critical in attracting the right kind of people. You have described everything very clearly and precisely, loved reading your hub! 🙂
Be approachable to them — don’t make them think you like them. Take it easy and flirt a little. Or even maybe ask if he’s interested in boys. If he says no, move on. If he says yes, maybe even ask him on a date or kiss him.
Relationships are more than often a puzzle extremely difficult to solve. Women consider men an eternal puzzle, and men likewise. Every woman has to have several tricks up her sleeve when she embarks on the quest of wooing a man. Attracting men can be difficult, especially because they are all different. This is why we are here, to help you and guide your way.
Rewrite your online dating profile from scratch; working with a blank page will get you thinking about what you really want. Then keep it updated, often—Casey, also Match.com’s relationships expert, says to keep it active, like your Facebook profile. “You change your résumé for every job—so you should be changing your online profile picture to show you on a recent ski trip, or talk about the newest movie you’ve seen. You need to be putting things out there that people will respond to, not just ‘Looking for someone with great eyes.'” And if you’ve yet to take the online dating plunge, c’mon, it’s 2013: The stigma is so 2008.
Men and women are desperate for uniqueness, a person with independent thoughts, not a receiver or followers of the news and trends, someone who can analyse things and come up with their her own conclusions.
Great men want and need straightforward, courageous communication without anger or criticism. One way to attract a great man, and build a satisfying relationship, is to learn how to communicate your truth and needs effectively.
For every successful relationship a good communication is a must. But to communicate means to share more than just words. If this notion makes you feel uncomfortable and you think that you will need a helping hand to reach this level of understanding male body language attraction, you can relax and be at ease because we have already done all the hard work for you. All you need to do is read the article and use those 5 valuable tips to make your love life in perfect accordnace with your needs.
He also needs to be accountable for what he’s done and understand it’s not going to be easy to trust him for a while…maybe a long while. If he truly loves you and is truly sorry for what he’s done, he will understand that and will do what he can to help make the situation better.
Wonderful post! I think if I could have applied this wisdom from a younger age I would not have all the relationship problems I’ve been experiencing again and again. Thanks for helping me feel there is definitely a way to not feel desperate, now I have hope. Jean X
You can hit all the fine points of our age-old mating dance, but if you don’t pull away from the pack, then he might not ever go in for the approach due to the wall of your protective clan. Obviously, if you are alone you need not worry about this one, but if you and the girls or guy friends are out and you see a young buck checking you out, it might be time to take a stroll, which will invite him into your own personal space.
Take a good look at yourself. Psychological studies have shown that people seek out partners to fill a psychological void. Sometimes these voids are unhealthy; for example a woman who is unhealthy will actually seek out any man for the “high of seduction” or to get attention and feel desirable. Look inside yourself and ask yourself why you want a man so badly, be truly honest with yourself, and, if need be, talk to a therapist about this. Someone with issues only attracts a guy with issues as well, and a good, real man doesn’t want anything to do with someone who has more issues than TIME magazine. If you want a good, healthy relationship with a real man, make certain that your own mental state and intentions are healthy.
Lastly, a man needs time alone every now and then. We do not like to be continually smothered all the time. It is not because we do not love our woman any less, we just need time alone to space out and unwind. Be it going fishing, reading a book, video games, watching the game with mates…men NEED this time to function properly. It’s a phenomenon I can’t explain, but when I do not get my alone time, I start to feel suffocated. My fiancee has finally realized this and since then, our relationship has been going so much better.
Well, hello brake12. It’s true that some women are naturals. The good news is that good habits can be learned with enough commitment. It’s worth the extra effort–for sure!. Also, Aubrey, I thank you for pinning. I’m delighted that you enjoyed the hub.
But cute changes everything. When a girl behaves in a cute and feminine manner, it brings out the protective instincts of a man. Instead of feeling threatened by a feminine girl, he feels protective about her. That makes him feel more masculine, and that’s something every guy loves to feel! [Read: Why men love a damsel in distress and feel more emotionally connected to them]
5. Looks don’t matter. I know it sounds corny but It isn’t the outside that matters, it’s the inside, but since I don’t take into account the physical attributes that someone doesn’t have control over then neither should my partner.
Lol. Well, nomad spirit, if a good guy sees that everyone has to climb over you to find a seat or a place to stand, who knows what he may be thinking. That being said, most people have their heads buried in a computer whilst in-transit. You just happen to be the one who sits on the floor. 😉
As their social networks changed, so did male preferences. Maybe men don’t lock their eyes onto 36-24-36 like some broken slot machine after all, but instead possess a “flexible behavioral repertoire” that adapts sexual preferences to changing environments, the researchers conclude in Evolution and Human Behavior. A subsequent study corroborated the shortcomings of a global thin ideal, as well as the role of Western media in propagating it.
Finding a partner often feels like an awful lot of work for very little reward. The relationship expert Matthew Hussey used to feel the same way. So he did some field research, taught himself to meet the women he was looking for, and built a business coaching other men to improve their love lives. And now he’s sharing his insights with you.
Feminists are not anti traditionally feminine, if the woman is happy with the way she dresses, whether it’s jeans or a dress. Also stereotypes are harmful even if they are complimentary, you are not doing any favours in those regards. Also the word feminazi is stupid, Hitler was anti feminist and we don’t kill several people in gas chambers. Stop comparing us to nazis, it’s bullshit and an unoriginal insult that isn’t at all witty.
4. Business Conferences. If you’ve been meaning to do some meet-and-greets as a way of boosting your career, here’s some added incentive: Business conferences and seminars are filled with smart, ambitious men with whom you can talk shop. “Strike up a conversation around your mutual business interests, then ask ‘How did you get to where you are today?’ You’ll learn about his path of life so far, including education and goals,” says Nina Atwood, author of Be Your Own Dating Service: A Step-by-Step Guide to Finding and Maintaining Healthy Relationships (Henry Holt, 1996). Just be sure to check his left hand for a ring or tell-tale tan line. “Business events often include a certain number of men who are looking for an extra-marital fling,” says Atwood.
Secondly, always try to wear clothes that are somewhat form fitting, but not too tight and never baggy – you don’t want to look like you’re revealing too much or hiding too much. In other words, give the sweats and the shapeless dress a break every now and again, and wear something pretty. Also, don’t worry if you are carrying some extra weight. You can still show your curves!
Imperfections: Have to stress the point again, because we are so much obsessed with the cover girls that we forget being organic is being sexy. Almost every guy agrees too much makeup is a turn-off. They want to see some natural beauty in you. The mole is absolutely okay, so is the buck teeth. They tend to associate you with your marks and scars, and it makes you uniquely attractive to them and distinguish you from rest of the crowd.