Knee, C. R. (1998). Implicit theories of relationships: Assessment and prediction of romantic relationship initiation, coping, and longevity. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74, 360–370.
A book which is founded on ideas about good communication & keeping integrity is one whose advice I feel I can trust & recommend. It has a “win-win” approach that doesn’t degrade men or women – how to get what you desire/need while giving someone else what they desire/need too. Building mutually satisfying relationships is the goal, not manipulating your dream man into marrying you (blech – what an idea!).
The result: She met tons of smart, funny and fascinating… women. “Don’t get me wrong,” says Marla. “I’m really glad I did all of that stuff. I made some wonderful friends and expanded my horizons. My new pursuits nourished my soul, but I have to say they did zip for my love life.”
Have a life. Desperate, dramatic, and clingy relationships are often rooted in a feeling of need and desperation for a man to fill your life. Even if you have low self-esteem, work over time to build it. Pursue your goals and be focused, explore your passions, have an interesting life, do things that take you outside your boundaries. Don’t put up a tough exterior to get over shyness; gradually learn to build trust with a network of people, so that your boyfriend isn’t the only person you open up to and share your life with. Also remember to trust yourself first. If you can’t trust yourself, you are likely to not trust your man.
All relationships, including romantic ones, are based on social exchange (Kelly & Thibaut, 1978). In other words, beyond the feelings, we enter into relationships to trade. We meet the needs of others – and they meet our needs back. Give and take…
Often while walking the streets of Manhattan I adjust both the pace and position of my stride so as to follow close behind, but not illegally close behind, an attractive woman. I must stress here to my girlfriend and mother that I do not do this to admire the view. All right, so partly I do this to admire the view. But another part of me likes to observe the reactions we—we’re a caravan, now—receive from the menfolk we pass. To walk this way is to witness the spasmodic necks and detoured eyes and high-pitched whistled salutes and deep, perfumed inhalations and even, at times, affected indifference that together form the grand choreography of male desire. The performance is a haphazard one, and far creepier to the audience than to the actors, but it remains sincere as instinct.
A lot of women are asking how to impress a guy and what to wear to impress a guy. The truth is that the answer varies from one case of the other. However, there are some general pointers and guidelines that you should follow in order to maximize your chances of being asked out again. Making an impression is not as difficult as it sounds.
For me personally, I like it when a woman puts in effort to do makeup that enhances how she already looks but does not pile on the foundation and then add a bunch of different powders and whatnot to it.
Therefore, I encourage you to continue to screen out such men who are “deficient” in attributes you desire – but only to the extent that you are truly of high value yourself. If you are willing and able to offer men high worth in feminine areas that they desire, then I see no reason why you should not ask the same in return. Attractive and accomplished individuals can afford to be choosy, as they are trading a lot in return. However, if you are simply asking for a lot from them, without having much to offer back, then you might be making the same mistake as the men you are rejecting online.
A really good friend of mine is the more ‘agressive and dominant’ type, and I noticed that attractive guys were going after her. I was a bit envious at first, but then I found out they were just using her. There is this ONE guy who doesn’t have much testosterone, but he truly loves and cares about her.
He’s the one that needs to understand how he made you feel by cheating on you and if he wants to keep you, then he needs to understand it will take time before you trust him again and he should do everything he can to put your mind at ease and show you through his actions that it won’t happen again.
Italiano: Conquistare Un Bravo Ragazzo, Español: encontrar a un buen hombre, Português: Encontrar um Bom Pretendente, Русский: найти хорошего мужчину, Deutsch: Einen guten Mann finden, Français: séduire un homme bien, Bahasa Indonesia: Mendapatkan Pria yang Baik, Nederlands: Een goede man vinden, العربية: الحصول على رجل صالح, 中文: 找一个好男友
But some things have changed. One re-creation of the classic study, which was conducted by an international group of researchers and published in Human Nature, found that men are much more likely to date a woman than they had been in 1989. Although the updated study was conducted on paper, not in person, it included a larger and more diverse population of men, and it varied the attractiveness of the sex solicitor. More men were willing to date a “slightly unattractive” woman than were willing to sleep with an “exceptionally attractive” woman, 87 percent to about 82.
If we are complex—still admittedly if—we don’t like to show it. Sometimes our emotional side is so hidden researchers can’t find it. A notable mid-’90s study by evolutionary psychologists found that when you ask people what type of infidelity will upset them, men say a sexual tryst more than women, and women an emotional affair more than men. That’s Mars and Venus in galactic alignment.
Be fun, in ways that men think are fun. This rule of attraction seems simple enough, but so many girls get it wrong. Don’t be too much of a stereotypical “girl.” Be able to let your hair down and tell jokes, watch sports, play video games or poker with him and try to enjoy the things that he enjoys. He’s not interested in holding your purse while you shop. Nor does he care what happened on last week’s episode of Days of Our Lives. Hang out at sports bars with him. He’ll want you even more.
While some of your previous relationships may have proven otherwise, the truth is men are natural givers. Yes, that’s right. They want to give, they want to provide, and they want to make you happy. What they don’t want is to be bossed around and told what to do.
Women need not move to Mpolweni to find such flexibility in action. Even among developed societies, shape preferences vary sharply. In countries like Britain or Denmark, where women have achieved social and economic independence, a low waist-to-hip ratio is less important to men than it is in places where women rely more heavily on men for resource acquisition, such as Greece or Portugal, Swami and other researchers find. The more resources a woman can gather on her own, the less men care whether or not her figure conforms to the supposed ideal.
A smile puts a man at ease. It tells a man you’re approachable. It tells a man you’re confident and happy: the exact type of woman a man wants. It strokes a man’s ego and makes him feel like you are pleased with him. It makes him feel more like a man.
Be approachable to them — don’t make them think you like them. Take it easy and flirt a little. Or even maybe ask if he’s interested in boys. If he says no, move on. If he says yes, maybe even ask him on a date or kiss him.
Either the guy is just interested in having sex with men and no emotional strings attached, or the guy is indeed gay but still in denial. Guys are often into guys but scared of family and friends so they find themselves settling for just sexual pleasure and nothing more. That being said, if he says he’s not gay, take him at his word. It’s up to each individual to choose how they identify.
The explanations of male thinking is also not “boys will be boys” trash that insists sexist and misogynistic behaviors are simply “biological” for men & have to be tolerated by women. Instead of making excuses, the author manages to be honest & fair in describing common male mindsets & how & why certain negative attitudes/behaviors are triggered (much as stereotypical female negative behaviors can be triggered by crappy moves on a guys’ part). Since a relationship is a dynamic, it’s only fair to adjust what you can control – yourself. So you learn very subtle methods to hone your social & dating skill to basically COMMUNICATE in a way that men in general will grasp correctly.
You need to keep this in mind though, love and attraction are two completely different things. A guy may find you extremely attractive, yet he may not end up falling in love with you for his own reasons. [Read: 20 reasons why a guy may never like you back]
To start, you must rid your mind of (or at least become aware of) the perception biases you currently have about men. According to Bob Grant, “A perception bias is where you see something based on your own way of thinking, and you then impose that belief onto other people or situations.” Common perception biases many women have about men are:
Many women treat men in ways that diminish their egos, making them feel inadequate. Men would rather have more praise, more acknowledgment of what they do right, and more acknowledgment that they are great guys who are loved and appreciated. Women think men do not need them, and do not value their opinion, their support, or their praise. Women also think men do not care about many things that are important to women, which is why they criticize. Criticism can be a way to verbalize resentment.