Is she, or does she look, bossy? – I once went on a dinner date with a zealous vegetarian called Judith.
When I ordered a fillet steak she told the waiter to come back in a few minutes.
”Do you mind having something without meat?” she asked me.
”I beg your pardon?”
”It’s just – I couldn’t stand watching you eat a steak.”
”Er, right – so what should I have then?”
”How about spinach lasagne?”
A short while later the waiter returned and I chivalrously changed my order. To a mixed grill.
Judith and I spent the next hour in near silence before going our separate ways.
Nothing annoys me more than someone who tells you not to feel the pain you’re in. Life can be tough – it lets you down, it feels like being punched in the gut on the bad days. But the question now is: How do you get out of it?
By far the easiest and simplest way to invite a man to come into your kingdom. Men are more intimidated than ever to approach women in the 21st Century. Why? You all can do just as much as we can now, so we are lacking the confidence that our forefathers had when roles were more clearly defined. A warm smile can ignite a man’s courage to walk up to you.
Control is really the key here: control of yourself and your reactions to others may sound simple, but it’s very difficult to master. Having high self-esteem and confidence – without over-stepping into arrogance! – is a very attractive trait to any man.
It’s really been eating at me lately, to the extent that I don’t even want to spend time with my local friend for fear of somehow ‘leading him on’ or hurting him, even though he’s a really close and good friend.
Then there was a lie about where he was during working hours. Now he tells he should be able to go where anywhere he want to go with tell me where he’s going when it’s for an occasion ie, to by a birthday gift or surprises. This makes no sense to me since it’s not the location of the gift that matters or that would let me know what he is going to purchase. I asked him after all these years we’ve always done things. I remember when you never wanted to go or try new things without me. We were best friends. This relationship was established and now the rules are changing according to him. I asked him is he cheating. Of course I knew he would say no. Why would he admit that? He said he is stress from work, which I could believe. I know the environment. But he is bad with time management and he knows it. He saids he needs time to heal. I ask from what? But he just can’t give me a complete answer. He won’t communicate for me to help him. He claims he’s a self healer, but stays late at work till 9:30-10p. When we talk it ends up into a messy conversation. He feels I want to know everything and won’t let it go. I feel he’s too secretive, can’t justify the spending and the need to go somewhere without letting your wife. He’s said he would not abuse that and I should trust him. I said it all about respect.
He simply wants you to appreciate that he works hard to take care of you even if he can’t give you everything he’d like. That’s really not a lot to ask. So if you want a guy to see the very best in you and fall hopelessly in love, the one thing you can’t do is take him for granted or disrespect his efforts.
It’s because it’s a difficult process if your social circle is really thin. A guy has to face rejection. He has to get comfortable with it. When a guy is 100% comfortable, and has no hesitation about the concept of rejection — he has no problem with the singles/dating scene. Of course, getting to that point is not easy.
Jeffrey Platts – Consider me as a new addition to your fan club. Your list made me rethink my image. Heaps of thanks for the insights! Particularly the one about body language. I’m a notorious arm-crosser and inadvertent non-smiler.
Be yourself. If you like who you are, then stay that way. Don’t change for other people. The girl who is really worth your while will love you for who you are, what you’ve accomplished in your life, and nothing else.
We’re all animals, and you shouldn’t forget that. We may be wearing pants or walking on two feet, but that doesn’t change our primal instincts. We still chase each other and woo each other just like the animals in the wild. [Read: 23 must-know relationship advice for women]
Start with innocent touches and be very nonchalant and natural when you do it. For example, if you are sitting next to each other, you could kind of inch a tiny bit closer to him and have your leg against his leg and don’t say a word about it, just enjoy the moment. Or you could casually touch his thigh, as if it’s the most normal thing in the world.
And our motives for sex have diversified (as have women’s)—a reality Hatfield now calls “one of our planet’s most important new developments.” We want sex, but sometimes we want it to enhance the emotional relationship. We want to say “I love you” before you do, some of us; we want to race you to love, and win. We want to love you so much that when we see a pretty face we think it’s less pretty than we would if we didn’t love you.
What attracts a man to a woman is a subjective question. It depends on many variables: race, age of the man, what era and which culture he belongs to. For example in some tribes in Africa (Mursi tribe in Ethiopia), the women wear large lip plate in their mouth to look more attractive!
To some degree, notions of male simplicity persist, despite growing evidence to the contrary, due to the very nature of masculinity. A recent series of experiments described in Current Directions in Psychological Science conclude that manhood is both elusive and tenuous. In one experiment, test participants associated the loss of manhood with social, impermanent things, like letting someone down, as opposed to physical things, like growing weak with age. So manhood must be earned by demonstration, and it must be demonstrated repeatedly, until we’ve shielded our vulnerability behind a haze of one-dimensional sexuality.
If you want to get a guy, then you need to give him a clear invitation. I know he seems big, burly, and scary. But, he is actually looking to you for a “green light” to come over and say hello. Some eye contact and a smile will do that. So, if you want him to approach, lock eyes and give him a grin.
one word BS! Im obviously never gonna attract anyone then, im a strong woman and would never change who i am to plz a man or up my chances of attracting one, cos what will happen, that guy will eventually see though ur facade and either take a disliking to u cos u werent wat he expected or that u acted and played him to win him over, i can see a guy ever respecting a girl like that
The quickest solution to finding a man really is to focus on handling the other areas of your life and having a lifestyle that you really enjoy. When you do this, you’ put yourself in control of your own happiness and will effortlessly attract great men into your life.
I realize this may not be comfortable for you, but if you take baby steps and find a way to get truly comfortable “letting go” you will notice how much this turns a man on. Do what feels natural, not what you think you are “supposed to do.”
Great tips! I have come across many articles that have give all kinds of advices, but none that talk about the aura and owning our space.. these are critical in attracting the right kind of people. You have described everything very clearly and precisely, loved reading your hub! 🙂
You don’t have to change yourself just to attract men, but change yourself to become a better you. Have you ever walked into a room full of attractive women, and found yourself thinking that a few of those girls were better than you in some way? When you meet a woman and find yourself in awe of her for any reason at all, it only means you admire and want some particular trait of hers that you lack yourself.
If you have trouble attracting men and getting a date, you may be unknowingly sending vibes that push men away. Men think differently than women, so you have to understand how the male psyche works in order to get his attention. Know what to do to grab his attention.
1. Comedy Classes. Acting classes are filled with gorgeous nymphets and men who make great shopping buddies. Your average stand-up class, on the other hand, is a festival of testosterone. True, comedians have a tendency to be emotionally needy and self-centered. But if he makes you laugh, you may be willing to put up with the occasional bout of insecurity. And breaking the ice is easy: A simple “Your routine was hilarious” (preceded, of course, by hearty laughter) should do the trick.
Of course, it’s easy for men to say on paper that they care about personality. What really matters is how things unfold when they’re two feet from a push-up bra and nice-smelling, fruit-conditioned hair.
Get over emotional baggage from previous relationships. Carrying baggage over from previous relationships can harm your current one. Throw out old mementos, pictures, and items of your ex to help you get over them. Don’t make assumptions about all men because of your previous experiences and don’t think that you have an extraordinary intuition, especially when that intuition manifests negatively most of the time.
Lastly, a gal that doesn’t take care of herself. This is partly tied to appearance, truth be told. A woman that doesn’t take good care of herself physically is more prone to be lacking in other areas of her life, too. There’s a lot of fixing up to be done, in some cases. If a woman is fine being out of shape and not taking care of herself and has no other issues, that’s okay, too. However, I want a woman that cares about her well being and physical health as much as I care about my own; it’s as simple as that.
Hi FlourishAnyway. Thank you for sharing the hub! I’m happy that you enjoyed that particular section–about owning your space. It really does pay off where men are concerned, but I will say that sometimes some “petty” women will get a little catty about it…but that’s there problem and not ours. As always, I appreciate your insight about the positive and confident signals we send out.
The study seemed to confirm every stereotype anyone ever held about what men want (for the purposes of this article, what heterosexual men want). We want women. Now, please—although tonight will do. At worst tomorrow. We want them like that old Army poster with the finger pointing outward. We want you. We want you like we’re all Uncle Sam, and dammit if the Germans aren’t at it again. Pack up the lab equipment, please, shut off the lights, and move on to more important behavioral studies. Like finding out who drinks “lots of pulp” Tropicana.
When a guy sees a girl’s physical assets, he subconsciously sees more than just your breasts or your butt. The right curves in all the right places tells a guy that a girl is fertile and has come of age, and that she’s healthy because her body can afford to waste energy on developing her curves which play the biggest role in sexual attraction.