4. Chat and flirt with everything that moves, employing these specific strategies, types of come-ons, text messages and actions (which may totally seem like gamesmanship and manipulation, but trust the author, it’s not).
A friend and I were talking this morning. He’d set up a date a couple weeks back and I was curious about where they were going but he told me, “It’s going to be tomorrow night instead. She texted me a reschedule.”
“The reason a woman gets hooked on one man is not because he is just sexy, or just playful, or just certain, or just masculine, or just bursting with integrity, but because he possesses a unique combination of traits: the man who is warm, has integrity, and can charm her family, then rips her clothes off in the bedroom and is a sexual god who’s willing to invest all the time she needs in foreplay; the man who is respectful with her friends, can fix things around the house and in the garage like a pro, but knows how to enjoy a lazy Sunday at the museum or craft fair; the guy who is independent, kicks ass out in the world, but is gentle and loving with his woman and lavishes attention on her. Men like this cause an alarm to go off inside a woman’s head and heart. He’s just a character in a romance novel, she thinks. Be more realistic!”
So change often, become the dream girl you fantasize about in your head, and be the girl you really want to be. And life will turn out to be so much better for you, be it about men, work, friends or anything else.
I should have known the reactions from the feminists would be outrage. The author is right on with this article. And your ridiculous complaints of stereotypical bs in this article is typical of you offended narcissists. Did you ever wonder how a stereotype came into being? It came into being as a consequence of observation of majorities. In other words, it became a stereotype because it’s a common attribute of a group, readily visible to others. Stereotypes are not evil, in spite of your quixotic politically correct mis-thinking. They teach us to discriminate in kindergarten, when they tell us to put the square peg in the square hole. They teach us this because it is a valuable mental faculty to cultivate. You ultra-feminists just can’t stand it, and insist on trying to put the square peg in the round hole.
You might even decide to pause, and turn here or there, just pivoting a bit… something unusual has caught your attention, or maybe you have to check the time or adjust your bracelets. In other words, you are providing your admirers with a quick snapshot—a moment in time for them to savor. You are providing him with a small mini-movie and leaving him with a memory he will not quickly forget. You will feel fairly confident that the next time he sees you, he will remember you, and he’ll do more than just watch you walk by. By this time, he is eager to introduce himself.
Jade….So very glad you found this article at this crucial time in your life. How kind of you to call it “brilliant.” I am flattered. But I hear you. I was used to plenty of attention as well. In my case, I started getting “older,” so I had to remind myself of all the things I had been doing differently than a fair amount of other ladies. The good news? Those things still work. Ha!
When someone tells you that the best way to attract someone is by being yourself, well, they’re not entirely right. All of us change all the time. And not every change that we see in ourselves may be in the right direction.
“One of the ironies of the day is how proficient so many women are at choosing men who communicate poorly by assuming those men who are most responsive to the female’s ‘signals’ provide the best relationships.”
I loved this I have been doing allot of research on how to people have that certain quality that attracts men and think this is the most helpful. Many websites make you watch an hour long video to find out in the end that you have to pay money for the real secrets which is not right. This gives you simple steps with an effect. Thanks for some great tips! 🙂
That doesn’t make him a bad person, and it doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s just something to be aware of, and something to take into consideration when you’re having expectations about the future with him.
Well, with five brothers in your life, some of this stuff might seem “unique”….but it’s really quite universal—though less so nowadays. However, it’s all great fun! Here’s to our feminine side. Nice to have you stop by Jewels. (Great name)
Men are picky when it comes to dating. If you are single and out there dating, I am sure you are very aware of just how choosy men are. Women are particular too, but somehow the men seem to be worse. Usually, men have an idea in their head of a type of gal to whom they are attracted, and either you fit the mold or you don’t. However, occasionally a man will fall for a girl who is outside of his wheelhouse. Wouldn’t it be great if you could be that woman who could attract ANY GUY (within reason of course)?
I suggest that you should be pickier, less accepting and more committed to the “bad attitude” that will make you seek people who are extraordinary in the same way you are. Be courteous to men who don’t appeal to you, but for God’s sake, don’t waste your evenings—let alone your nights—with them. “Oh,” conventional rule-keepers might exclaim, “you’ll have to spend some nights alone!” Yes, indeed. Your pool of candidates is much smaller at the high-quality end of the bell curve, your chances of having no date on Saturday much larger if you refuse to go out with men who bore or repulse you. But if memory serves, the boredom and/or repulsion of bad dating is much worse than spending a few hours on your own.
Both of these biases lead to bad dating. Either the dater expects to fail, or they expect the other person to be awful. Neither of these biases allows them to truly “see” a good partner – or have the motivation to get them. So, such a biased individual either “settles for less” or stays alone and grumpy.
Treatment: The most important. How you treat people around you, your opinions and your behavior matter to them. Treating him respectfully and sweetly, if not flirting at the first conversation, makes a very good impression upon them. So if you like the guy, just don’t come into bitch-mode. Most probably he will run far and never come back. *damn those romcoms showing this shit*
I realize this may not be comfortable for you, but if you take baby steps and find a way to get truly comfortable “letting go” you will notice how much this turns a man on. Do what feels natural, not what you think you are “supposed to do.”
Holy shit. I’m a guy but wow… Just wow. Like, the way you describe it makes it seem to me like you basically want a dizzy slave. Why don’t you just date a child instead? Holy fuck dude. And no, men are not ‘naturally aggresive and dominant’, we’re just socialized to be that way so we get to control women. It’s people like you that’s wrong with the world. You use sexism and conservative gender roles to your advance so you can shame women for being human beings and not dolls. You tell girls that they need to be submissive cute little dolls who exist to fulfill your fantasies. If you can’t handle a real woman, with her loudness, dominance, and opinions, you’re better off single. Which I hope you do because no girl deserves to be manipulated and controlled into submission by you and guys like you.
I am well aware that there are always exceptions and different people like different things. But what I am going to take you through is some of the most common and universally true things that make a man feel attracted to you.
If we are complex—still admittedly if—we don’t like to show it. Sometimes our emotional side is so hidden researchers can’t find it. A notable mid-’90s study by evolutionary psychologists found that when you ask people what type of infidelity will upset them, men say a sexual tryst more than women, and women an emotional affair more than men. That’s Mars and Venus in galactic alignment.
I have recently moved closer to him so we can see each other more often (which is about once every 2-3 weeks). Starting out in a new city, without friends, and spending most evenings at home, i have noticed that i have become very clingy to my boyfriend. I call him up at dawn so he can wake up and go online. I have been nagging more and just really made him my everything! I hate this because it gets me paranoid, and i always get upset if he not available to chat. I know this is not good for any of us but i just cant stop.
If you put effort towards those areas of your life, you will become the best and most attractive version of yourself that you can be – and that’s what the men who will be attracted to you really care about the most.
That would mean that you are trying to get him to like the fake you, not the real you. If so, you can’t blame him for being confused later on, once you take the ‘mask’ off. So here is a little tip from us. Right off the bat, try to be yourself and show him what kind of person you are. It will save you both the time and hassle if you don’t like each other. It’s not just about the time, but it’s fair. We’re not suggesting you don’t take a shower for two days, and don’t do your hair, no. Keep it together, but don’t over do it. There is no need to act like a diva in front of a guy and pretend you are crazy about baseball if you’re actually not that kind of a girl. If you do, next thing you know: he’s taking you to weekly baseball games, and you’re not happy.
My friend Marla used to believe that meeting a man was as easy as following her bliss. After she and her long-term boyfriend broke up, Marla decided to pursue the interests she had neglected when she was in a relationship. She took acting lessons, joined a book club, and became devoted to yoga.
It is not easy for people to find a good man, and to be honest it is not easy for a man to find a good person. This is written from a man’s perspective to help frustrated people that are sincerely looking for a good man but keep finding losers.
Find eligible men at gay bars. Do a search online and find the most popular gay bars in your area. Read reviews on each of the bars and choose an ambiance that best suits your personality. If you are the quiet type, a subdued, relaxed atmosphere would probably be the best fit for you. If you’re more of a party animal, look for dance clubs in your area.
And no, “typical” feminists want to promote women strength and capacities. They want EQUALITY. As in, men=women. Does that mean they think very cute/submissive/beautiful/feminine women are weak? No. Since ALL kinds of women AND men are equal no matter what.
Doing what you can to be the most attractive version of you possible is only going to increase your options, increase your power, and increase your effectiveness with attracting the person you ultimately want to attract.
But for love to blossom in the first place, you need to build the sexual attraction before you make him fall in love with you. It’s the safest way to make sure the guy falls for you and stays in love with you. [Read: The 7 stages of love for men]
It turns out that men and women want the same thing: a lasting, meaningful relationship. Matthew says that finding “the guy” isn’t just about finding “a guy.” It’s about creating a life with someone who engages you at every level. In Get the Guy, Matthew shows you how to be proactive in your love life so that you can meet, talk to, and win over the guy who’s right for you—without playing games.
Flirting is much like a smile. It lets a man know you’re interested. It tells a man you accept him and are pleased with him. It makes a man feel at ease around you, thereby making you more approachable and increasing the chance a guy will ask you out.
Alex (Urban Dater), if someone had sat me down and asked me to write this same list, I would have come up with one very similar to yours. Even more proof that you’re awesome and that I’m lucky to be friends with you.
Men love being approached and a big part of my lesson was about ‘The Approach’. Below are the top 10 tips I was told by Alex, my (male) teacher for the day. Since going for my session, I got a man’s number at a party and have been feeling far more confident about my dating skills. The only way is up I hope….
Display intelligence and depth. Don’t say “like” and “um” in every sentence. Intelligence is sexy. A smart woman who knows what she wants and how to get it will attract men everywhere she goes. Displaying your intellect reveals that you have depth. This will attract men more effectively than coming across as dim.
Play hard to get. The worst thing you can do is to smother a guy or appear desperate. Men are attracted to the thrill of the chase, so if you’re chasing after him, you’re taking away the challenge. Keep it low-key and keep him on the edge of his seat. Maintain your composure. Your outward indifference may make him want you more.
Those are essentially your two choices though… Learn to see when your emotions are misleading you and use logic. OR, find someone who is both more suited to be a relationship partner and can trigger those emotions in you.
Respected relationship expert Dr. Pat Allen suggests using red lipstick, since our 4-legged primate ancestors once attracted their male counterparts with their swollen vulvas. Now that we are on 2 legs, parts are, well… quite hidden, so evolution has passed the mating magnet to another pair of exposed lips.
Men don’t care about perfection. It’s a binary scale. Attractive or not. Given that our species currently still exists and continues to grow, you should be able to surmise that “attractive” is very attainable. There is never any reason to starve yourself.
A man usually feels cautious around overdressed and overrated woman. He knows how much the perfume she’s wearing costs but he prefers to breathe fresh air. He dreads breaking her long witchy black nails during an intimate encounter, so he prefers to hang out with a woman he can touch without fear.
Who are you? How would you define yourself? We are who we are because of our socioeconomic status, the people around us, and other influences we’ve had in our lifetime. A lucky few may have had the opportunity to be influenced by the perfect examples, while most of us have to change to become better individuals. Or worse, we never get to become better individuals or achieve the full potential that’s within us because we’re convinced we’re all perfect already. [Read: 25 life-changing lessons you need to learn to perfect your life]
“The reason a guy gets hooked on one woman is not because she is *just sexy*, or *just playful*, or *just certain*, or *just feminine*, or *just bursting with integrity*, but because she possesses a unique combination of traits: the girl who is warm, has integrity, and can charm his family, then rips his clothes off in the bedroom and is a sexual goddess; the girl who is playful with his friends, can debate politics like a pro, but knows how to enjoy a lazy Sunday watching movies and eating pizza; the girl who is independent, kicks ass out in the world, but is feminine and loving with her man. Women like this cause an alarm to go off inside a guy’s head and heart. Keep her, he thinks. This one’s amazing!”
I find the most interesting thing is that a lot of individuals expect perfection out of their mate and are ready to discard those that are not. The reality is no one is perfect and partners need to accept their differences and work with that in a positive way.
Any one know where I can meet a man like mr. Platts in the Denver area? Lol I’m seriously horrible at going out to “find that guy”. Mainly because I have a job and an almost 2 year old. Men show me their interested but they usually only want one thing.. Any suggestions?? People says men find single mothers attractive but where are these men at???
Time and chance can change a man’s physical ideals as much as place. One research team recently compared the measurements of Playboy Playmates of the Year from 1960 to 2000 to economic conditions in the United States over the same period and found that tougher times called for larger playmates. A 2005 study in Psychological Science reported that men who were manipulated to feel either hungry or poor preferred heavier female figures—a sign that, according to the researchers, resource availability can “influence preferences for potential mates” even among Western males in a wealthy culture. In other words, we can live in New York but possess a Zulu state of mind.
What is it that “those kind” of women are doing that makes them so irresistible? Well, in this article I will take you through some of the most common and universally applicable things you can do to make yourself more attractive to men and attract the man you want.
Understanding men and their need to be successful is key to keeping a man around. Compliment him and find ways to make him feel successful in everything he does, and he’ll reward you through loyalty, love, passion, and romance.
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I’m not saying you should just let him do what he wants and not say a peep. There is a right way to encourage a guy to meet your fundamental needs (when I say needs, I mean universal needs we have as humans, like the desire to bond, connect, and support each other, not texting every hour on the hour), but it has to be done in a way that empowers him, not in a way that makes him feel like a failure.
Before you start rolling your eyes and saying, “Cheesy!” just listen to what Michelle, 27, of San Diego, says: “You’re much less likely to settle for someone who isn’t amazing if you know how to have fun without a guy. The very day I told my friend I was not interested in relationships and ‘I just want to have fun with my friends’ was the day I met my boyfriend.”