Be a woman with interesting things going on. Men love a woman who has her own life with fun and different things happening. No man wants a girl who is always sitting at home waiting for him or a woman who needs him to provide 100 percent of the fun.
Alex (Urban Dater), if someone had sat me down and asked me to write this same list, I would have come up with one very similar to yours. Even more proof that you’re awesome and that I’m lucky to be friends with you.
Why would anybody even mention this?!…that people shouldn’t look for perfection. This is so obvious and I doubt anyone does it , at least not as often that it should be constantly put in the first place as the main reason for dating disasters. It’s a well rehearsed cliche. I feel it’s always used by people who are unable to say anything useful.
Fishy – Oh, Fish. Even though I’m on your reserves list for marriage, I’m determined to use this confession of your turn-ons/turn-offs to move my way up that list. Don’t underestimate me. I’m a determined minx with cycling thighs.
It amazes me to hear women go down a list of the treatment they expect, places they want to wine and dine, trips they want to go on and pampering they want to receive. Yet they skimp and don’t invest in doing these things for themselves. Boggles the mind!
Become more confident. You can appear more confident by having a straighter posture, smiling, and making eye contact with people while you talk with them. Don’t continually self deprecate or be overly critical on yourself. Think about all the positives about your personality, and work to improve in the areas that you lack.
Nothing: Yes, sometimes none of the above. Sometimes they just like a girl, without rhyme or reason. The world stops for him when he sees thegirl, and they’re not going to trade that for anything in the whole wide world. This is something completely unique to guys only.
Try to stay fresh all the time, and avoid strong perfumes and smells that will irritate rather than attract them to you. Thinking about what scent attracts men we came to the conclusion those are natural scents. The smell of your skin, and freshly washed hair… Every woman has a specific scent, and that is exactly what you should point it out and use to your advantage.
I find that I am drawn to women that are creative and artistic; I tend to be a nuts and bolts kind of person, circuit boards and hard drives rule my day. Having a woman that can make sure I’m getting my appropriate dosages of culture is nice. Sometimes these women are easy to spot; there’s a place I go to called the Gypsy Den and I tell you, these creative female types are all over… Though, they kinda look like they walked out of some sort of hippy people loving commune…
Follow the Golden Rule. That means apply the same rules to yourself that you’d apply to others, including him. Real men do in fact notice this; they just don’t scream it out. For example, if he tells you he has a girlfriend and things are not working out, Stop! and think ladies and gentlemen that this could be a “test” on how you would handle the situation, so stand your ground and cut off communication (hint: “Golden Rule”). Second example: if you do want to try finding his ticklish spots, then don’t complain one bit if he tries finding yours in return. Don’t go on about how you “don’t NEED no man!” or about “men this, men that” if you don’t want him treating you the same way. DO, on the other hand, treat him–and others–with respect, dignity, and honor. Others will notice, too, and who knows–if they know you want a good, real man but don’t yet have one, they just might introduce you to one!
10. Your Own Home. Throwing parties is one of the best ways to get yourself into the dating scene. Even if you don’t meet an eligible bachelor at your own shindig, becoming the hostess with the mostest will naturally get you reciprocally invited to barbecues, wine-tastings, poetry readings, etc. And if a friend does bring along a handsome stranger to your next house party, you have ample reasons to chat him up. After all, he’ll need you to take his coat, fetch him a drink, and tell you where he’s been all your life.
The study of male sexuality really should have ended in 1989. That year psychologists Russell Clark and Elaine Hatfield reported the results of a social experiment conducted on the campus of Florida State University. For the study they recruited young women to approach male students at random and have a brief conversation. Average-looking women, mind you—”moderately attractive,” even “slightly unattractive”—in casual clothes. No supermodels; no stilettos; no bare midriffs. It was important that the young man remain coherent. The ladies all told their guy they’d seen him around campus. They said they found him very attractive. Then some asked their man on a date. Some asked him to come over that night. And some asked him, point blank, to go to bed.
Need your advice on a guy I meet about 3 weeks ago and he is pulling away. We had a rocky start when we met and I had 2 great dates but then I did not text him for 2 days as I did not want to chase him and seem needy. Long story short I texted him and he flipped. He said I did not make him feel wanted and I was saying words were not backed up by actions. So after much arguing I apologized to him and showed up with a card at his house as a surprise to back up my words with action. Again he flipped and said I was way too much to deal with. So damned if you do damned if you don’t. I texted him a day after that but he did not acknowledge my feelings at all so I told him I was hurt. He flipped out again and said I had no idea what was going on his life. Anyways another argument that ended in him apologizing. This was on Friday night and the weekend went by and never asked me out nor have I heard from him in 3 days since the argument. Should I just leave this and move on??? or should I wait it out? Should send him a text? I just feel like he is going to what he wants anyways no matter what I do its wrong?? HELP me Eric.
Whatever you do, be natural. After all, you really do have to smooth that skirt or adjust the strap of your high heels. Now… can you picture him peering at you out of the corner of his eye, his eyebrow raised in awareness, curiosity… and desire? Of course you can. Now we’re getting somewhere. Whatever preening you do, don’t rush, and don’t look around to see who’s watching. Simply own your space, mind your own business, and smooth away. This is an excellent way to draw men toward you. You are creating anticipation “in the air” and causing him to be pulled toward you.
My boyfriend also used to obssess over me a lot but that has changed, he seems to have gotten himself a life and goes out more often. I feel like I’m the clingy gf left behind. How do I stop this before I drive my bf away?
When someone tells you that the best way to attract someone is by being yourself, well, they’re not entirely right. All of us change all the time. And not every change that we see in ourselves may be in the right direction.
His profile had described his marital status as “separated,” which I took to mean living separately. When the truth came out, that phrase actually meant that he and his wife sometimes “separated” when she was in the kitchen directing the staff while he was in the den writing to women.
You might even decide to pause, and turn here or there, just pivoting a bit… something unusual has caught your attention, or maybe you have to check the time or adjust your bracelets. In other words, you are providing your admirers with a quick snapshot—a moment in time for them to savor. You are providing him with a small mini-movie and leaving him with a memory he will not quickly forget. You will feel fairly confident that the next time he sees you, he will remember you, and he’ll do more than just watch you walk by. By this time, he is eager to introduce himself.
First, like I said before – he starts to bond with you. He notices that you’re really listening to him and that you’re engaging with him about things that he cares about – and that draws him closer to you.
► Wit and humour: The ability to make another person laugh is a gift. That gift is indeed one of the most prized qualities in a woman that a man seeks. It fills him with happiness and energy. Being witty emphasises quick thinking capabilities, which in turn alludes to intelligence.
The study seemed to confirm every stereotype anyone ever held about what men want (for the purposes of this article, what heterosexual men want). We want women. Now, please—although tonight will do. At worst tomorrow. We want them like that old Army poster with the finger pointing outward. We want you. We want you like we’re all Uncle Sam, and dammit if the Germans aren’t at it again. Pack up the lab equipment, please, shut off the lights, and move on to more important behavioral studies. Like finding out who drinks “lots of pulp” Tropicana.
Fidelity is an absolute must. In fact, men want a woman who does not have a “roaming eye” and who can wholeheartedly commit to the relationship. Many may define commitment as fidelity plus the willingness to work on the relationship — even when the going gets tough. Women think that all men want is sex, and that men will leave a relationship for the next prettier face. Women think men cannot be trusted to be faithful. Women believe men do not want to work on a relationship, and that when the going gets tough, they run.
And do not , under ANY circumstances order directly from his “empire’s” site ! His company illegally keeps your payment method on file and you WILL start getting random fraudulent charges for his other crap, “coaching” bs and all of his other nonsense , while entertaining , is as useless as this book .
Charm your way into his heart, but first get to that place. How, you might be wondering? Stay tuned to find out what men are attracted to and how attracting men is the easiest task, you will ever have.
It’s because it’s a difficult process if your social circle is really thin. A guy has to face rejection. He has to get comfortable with it. When a guy is 100% comfortable, and has no hesitation about the concept of rejection — he has no problem with the singles/dating scene. Of course, getting to that point is not easy.
Sometimes in relationships, we can get blinded by the good parts. But what about the not-so-good parts? If your significant other fits any of these descriptions, it might be time to reevaluate the relationship.
First off, the post is awesome and not because i’m in it! =) Seriously, great stuff and what an honor to be included by such an amazing collection of Male Bloggers that I share such great respect for.
He’s the one that cheated. He should be doing everything he can to keep you, not the other way around. Empower yourself to stand tall with or without a man in your life. You WANT a man. You don’t NEED a man.
Thank you! If we all just sit around hoping someone will come up and talk to us, then we’re just a bunch of people sitting around. You smile, you say “hi”, you strike up a conversation (quick, list 20 things to talk about with a random stranger!) and you see what happens. Maybe he knows someone who knows someone who’s unattached and available. You never know – and you’ll never know if you just sit there.
You don’t have to change yourself just to attract men, but change yourself to become a better you. Have you ever walked into a room full of attractive women, and found yourself thinking that a few of those girls were better than you in some way? When you meet a woman and find yourself in awe of her for any reason at all, it only means you admire and want some particular trait of hers that you lack yourself.
Response: What good is accepting something that is a failure? How effective is bringing out the best in something that is a failure? No one is perfect nor can someone be perfect. Listen, turn him into what you want him to be, but, do it right. The process won’t always work because some people are to ignorant to believe that they should be better for you, but if they are willing, then it is possible. The thing is you aren’t perfect either, but relationships are all about two individuals benefiting each other. This means that you both are going to mold each other, although, one may be making more of an impact than the other.
Make eye contact and smile at the guy you like. Eye contact is necessary when initially trying to get your man’s attention. Eye contact is also an integral part of romance and feeling connected with someone else. If you’re in a public place, and you don’t know the guy, make eye contact first to show him that you’re interested. If he returns the eye contact, smiles in your direction or keeps looking back in your direction, then you should approach him.
High self-esteem doesn’t just happen without behavioral change too. Therefore, it requires acting and trying out the behaviors of a high self-esteem individual. “Faking it until you make it” is a real and powerful phenomenon. So, practicing and acting can actually fix the core problem as well.
Some people keep dating the wrong kind of guy or gal because they fall for the scarcity trap. They keep chasing what they cannot have. Sometimes this is an ego thing (“I’m going to show him how good I am!”). Other times, it is a low self-esteem thing (“what do I have to do to get her to love me?”). In either case, however, they mistake this partner’s disinterest and scarcity for actual value.
A man prefers a partner who can understand him, someone he can lean on and trust her opinion. Someone he can engage with in an intellectual discussion. Opinionated and organised female thinker will definitely gain not just his affection but also his respect.
Go to LGBTQ events and mingle with people. Attending LGBTQ events is a great way to support a cause that you’re passionate about and will give you the ability to meet eligible singles. Choose an event or cause that you can support, and go with a positive mindset to meet new friends and to have fun. Make it a point to get out there and talk to people. If you see someone you’re interested in, go up to them and start a conversation.
What I’ve found is that once you’re in your 30s, groups of friends thin out — many get married, move away, etc. You essentially should beget more friendships, save time by cutting out your hobbies and working out at home some of the time to save time on gong to & being at the gym.
Falling in love is meeting somebody you’ve never met before. Falling in love is letting go, and feeling vulnerable, open, and damn, a little scared. It’s a beautiful thing. So, let go. Because you’ll never be able to control love, so don’t try.
How can I get my boyfriend to stop treating his daughter (from a previous marriage) better than me? I get a lot of grief for this question and cannot seem to get an answer. My boyfriend treats his daughter like a surrogate spouse when she is here….she gets her way with EVERYTHING, no exaggeration. She also gets AWAY with everything while he expects obedience from my son. He gets very defensive of his daughter if I try to explain this to him….which makes things worse because then I feel like…why won’t he defend ME?! I love this guy and want to marry him….he feels the same….we just have that one problem I feel will get worse with time unless I find a miraculous way to change it. How do I get him to see this and change…. without causing an argument or further damage?
There are two common ways people protect their egos in these situations by creating biases that blind them. On one hand, they may expect very little of themselves and make excuses for failures before they even happen. This is called Self-Handicapping (Tice, 1991). On the other hand, they may expect very little of others and make themselves feel superior by looking down at them. This is called Pre-Judging (Fein & Spencer, 1997).
Men want no manipulation of any kind. They do not want to have to read their partner’s mind or try to interpret signals. They do not want to be forced to move faster in a relationship than they are ready. They do not want to be manipulated into taking all the blame for things gone wrong. They do not want to be on the receiving end of game playing. Women think men want little or no communication, and the only way to get needs met is through manipulation. Women think men either need or want to be reminded that the relationship needs to move forward. Women think men don’t want or value praise and acknowledgment, and so tend to only verbalize criticism.
Something I’ve learned, which I think is true for both men and women, is that there are two sides of attraction. The obvious, conventional attraction is that one has towards the masculinity/feminity of the opposite sex. However, the full spectrum of attraction & sexual/romantic fulfillment relates to ones own “self attraction” to their masculine/feminine sexual energies and how their partner brings those out. I’ve found that when it comes to turning a girl on, often it is equally important for me to make her feel beautiful, sexy, and seductive as it is for me to put effort into being the source of her attraction. Partly through compliments, but moreso through body queues that let her feed off my passion & attraction for her beauty & femininity, which stimulates her attraction towards her own sexuality. Both women & men are almost equally attracted to their own masculine/feminine sexual energies as they are to the opposite sexes. The naive may say, “A man being attracted to masculinity? That’s gay!”, but there’s a large difference between a man wanting to form a relationship & have sex with other men than being attracted to the way a woman makes him feel about his own masculinity & sexuality. Hence, why many enjoy having sex in a mirror or watching themselves on a porno vs having eyes on your partner alone.
Lol. Well, nomad spirit, if a good guy sees that everyone has to climb over you to find a seat or a place to stand, who knows what he may be thinking. That being said, most people have their heads buried in a computer whilst in-transit. You just happen to be the one who sits on the floor. 😉
The researchers also found that women were willing to hop into bed too—a full 24 percent—if the man was good-looking enough. Another re-creation of the original experiment, conducted by Michigan psychologist Terri Conley, discovered similar behavioral shifts. She reports in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology that two in five women accept a proposition if they think the man will be good enough in bed.
Yes, physical attractiveness is very important to men, but it’s much more important to men prowling for a fling—who, studies show, tend to be younger men—than those after a steady mate. Yes, many men want younger women, but most of those reside on the short-term half of the spectrum; long-term guys tend to prefer women around their own age. Yes, men like the hourglass figure, but while they focus on the body over the face when looking for sex, the reverse is true for men looking for a relationship, studies report. (Women focus on the face either way.)
Now, I know what many of you might be thinking: “That’s bullsh*t. I know plenty of men that have fallen for me because of my wit, charm, and intelligence.” Absolutely, but I’m sure he was initially struck to walk over to you because of his primal reaction to your physical presence.
I’ll preface this by saying the few dating/relationship books I’ve flipped through or read descriptions for often come across as very condescending to women. This is especially true if meant to unveil the “male mind” and give it to us straight – the “ugly truth” type of stuff. They make women feel bad for being women. You come away from just one little paragraph feeling like men essentially don’t like women (beyond the physical). We’re told we need to be more feminine, but also think like men, less clingy, but not too independent – etc. Here is a book which focuses less on how women need to change their nature, needs, desires, etc, as if we’re hopelessly incompatible with men by nature, and instead it focuses on social skills & positive thinking modes for attracting & developing relationships with compatible men we actually like & who are worth OUR time & energy.
The first steps to love can get better with practice. Knowing when to give the right glance, smile, or swagger helps too. Try out the tips above. You may just get the attention of that person you are looking for…
Of course, it’s easy for men to say on paper that they care about personality. What really matters is how things unfold when they’re two feet from a push-up bra and nice-smelling, fruit-conditioned hair.
A man also wants a woman who understands him. He wants a woman who knows why he thinks the way he thinks and does the things he does. She doesn’t always have to agree with him, but she at least needs to understand him and support the “little missions” he has in life.
A few years ago, Swami and an international group of psychologists led by Martin Tovée of Newcastle University surveyed the female body preferences of men (and women) in the United Kingdom and among the Zulu of South Africa. Participants flipped through a photo booklet of real but blurry-faced women wearing tight gray leotards and rated each one. The Britons gave high marks to slender curves, while the Zulu enjoyed heavier bodies. Then Zulu migrants living in Britain had their turn with the booklets—and chose bodies right in between.
Be yourself. If you like who you are, then stay that way. Don’t change for other people. The girl who is really worth your while will love you for who you are, what you’ve accomplished in your life, and nothing else.
The type of woman that I would want emotionally, a feminine woman who is grateful, nurturing, etc, is not exactly compatible with “independent woman”. The type of woman I’d want for a life partner isn’t compatible with an independent woman’s ideals.