I’m going to skip the obvious (she’s hot) because there’s nothing superficial millions of years of behavioral programming. The realm of women I find physically attractive is fairly spacious; but finding the combination of qualities that truly attract me in one woman, is rare.
The meaning of the finding, Ackerman and colleagues report in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, turns on the commitment continuum. In subsequent tests, the researchers discovered that short-term guys felt a decrease in happiness when women declared “I love you” after sex. They’d said it first to score quickly, the finding suggests, and then, having scored, began to realize what they’d done.
If she wants to talk for hours, tell your friends you’re busy tonight. Making yourself available to talk is a great way to show her you’re there for her. All though you’re not dating, she’ll be comforted knowing she has a person she can talk to. Obviously, it will take some time before she confides completely in you. Girls are naturally skeptical about trusting guys with the truth about themselves at first.
And of course, as everyone knows, like attracts like. As Margaret Paul, Ph.D said: “People attract each other at their common level of woundedness or their common level of health.” It’s easier and gets better long-term results to fix the core problem than to practice acting.
When a woman tells a man what to do, she is essentially emasculating him by taking away the very thing that makes him feel significant: his ability to provide. When you boss him around, he feels like a failure for not being able to do his job. Rather than wanting to do more for you, he feels defeated and retreats.
First off, the post is awesome and not because i’m in it! =) Seriously, great stuff and what an honor to be included by such an amazing collection of Male Bloggers that I share such great respect for.
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what “healthy living” means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
In keeping your back straight and your chin up, you radiate an air of self assurance. We all know that confidence is an exceptionally appealing trait. Even if you don’t feel sure of yourself, keep that spine straight! Long story short, great posture always makes you look more fascinating. If you are not used to holding your head high, do it anyway! Having beautiful posture is a non-negotiable; it is also, without question, one of the traits that men say they notice most about a woman—besides a nice body. But right now, we’re talking about your bearing and your essence, not your lean or curvy body.
Realize differences in communication. Men can often miss the subtle messages that people send in their body language. Don’t judge a guy because of this; it’s just the way men are. Subtle body language like smiles only make a man think that you might like him; he can’t assume it means you’re interested without being accused of being a self-absorbed jerk. To drive the point home, gradually introduce more “obvious” body language like playful touches on the arm, playful banter and teasing, winks, inside jokes, playfulness, or (when you know him better) attempts to find a man’s ticklish spots. (Don’t be afraid to kindly tease him over minor things – people who pretend a man is perfect are regarded as weak in their eyes.) Flirting will not only show him you like him enough to get that physical and playful, but also help to break the physical barrier and allow a man to feel more comfortable making a few advances to you. But don’t forget to look at how he is reacting to you.
Lastly, a man needs time alone every now and then. We do not like to be continually smothered all the time. It is not because we do not love our woman any less, we just need time alone to space out and unwind. Be it going fishing, reading a book, video games, watching the game with mates…men NEED this time to function properly. It’s a phenomenon I can’t explain, but when I do not get my alone time, I start to feel suffocated. My fiancee has finally realized this and since then, our relationship has been going so much better.
Fact: A man’s sexual organ is not in his pants, it’s in his eyes. We men are visual creatures, plain and simple. Nature made us that way. It’s how we operate. Ask any man what happens when he walks in a new room, and five out of six will say something like, “I do an immediate scope and rank all the ladies in the vicinity.”
If you accept who he really is when he’s not wearing his mask (without a hint of judgment – judgment will shut him down and drive him away from you in a blink), he will feel deeply, truly connected to you.
A recent study of romantic comedies unearthed another emotional surprise. Sure, men reported enjoying sappy movies less than women do—the term chick flicks is not on trial here—but that’s very different from concluding that men don’t like them at all. Psychologist Richard Jackson Harris of Kansas State University found that actual men liked seeing a romantic comedy on a date much more than women thought “most men” would.
Bottom line, don’t fight biology. All my best girlfriends were very shy and feminine. I’ve tried to get shit going with feminist career girls, I don’t really fall in love with them though. I’d like to love a strong woman, and have a son run for president, but meh…
“Matthew is a genius whose magic needs to be shared with the world. His incredible understanding of love and relationships makes him the absolute best love guru! This book is a necessary tool for anyone looking for love.” (Eva Longoria, actor/producer)
Anyway, again, you were cheating — even with a guy who you’re not all that sexually attracted to. There’s never an attraction measuring stick to determine whether it’s cheating or not. You wouldn’t have wanted the same situation on your LD Boyfriend’s end. At all.
Be yourself. If a man/woman doesn’t like you for who you are, then they need to go be with someone they do like. Maybe you don’t like awkward silences so you fill them in. That’s part of who you are. Maybe you tend to plan it advance, part of who you are, you cant help it. Don’t bother reading or listening to this, people will be attracted to who you really are, not who this guy tells you to pretend to be.
If you find yourself ruminating on the past, focus on the crappy stuff. “Any time I started slipping into ‘oh-I-miss-him-I’m-so-sad’ mode, I’d remind myself of everything that annoyed me about him—sometimes I even wrote down a list,” says Jessica, 25, from Atlanta.
Alex (Urban Dater), if someone had sat me down and asked me to write this same list, I would have come up with one very similar to yours. Even more proof that you’re awesome and that I’m lucky to be friends with you.
My ignorance (as much as I try to be void of it) had blinded me once again, but alas! I overcame it, and I realized that I was looking at the wrong question. In order to find out what a woman wants from a man, you need to understand a woman. I decided to ask a question a woman would only be expected to ask. What does a man want from a woman?
The solution – stop the chase. Realize that just because something is hard to get, doesn’t mean it is worth the effort. No one is worth running after. It is better to find someone who will meet you in the middle.
Women who appreciate them: It does not matter whether she thinks your new project report is well drafted, or that your workout regime is impressive. Men like it when women pay attention to the little details, and tell men that they admire them/ what they do.
Don’t be clingy. This means, don’t show that you love this person by being near them all the time. They need their space and they need to know that you don’t need to follow them everywhere they go. Most of all, they need to know that you have your own life.
What men want in a woman is someone who is their complement, not their “equal”. Trying to be a man’s equal creates competition and resentment in a relationship. The same is true if a man tries to be a woman’s equal. This may not make sense at first glance, so let’s look at some examples to help clarify the point.
This book doesn’t insult your intelligence, berate you for being a woman, tell you that you have to compromise your values, or leave with some sick feeling that manipulation of men & dishonesty with your own feelings/needs is the “secret”.
One “striking” finding, to borrow the report’s own word, was a very strong connection between a man’s relationship satisfaction and his frequency of physical intimacy. Not physical intimacy as in sex, but physical intimacy as in kissing, cuddling, and general, not necessarily sexual, caressing. The odds of a man being happy in his relationship increased by a factor of three if he snuggled up regularly.