Something about being in a relationship even seems to change instinctual male desires. A good deal of evidence suggests that men sense when a woman is primed for reproduction; they can tell she’s ovulating, for instance, just by sniffing a T-shirt she wore, and they rate her as more attractive—and, in one classic study of strippers, give her better tips—at these times of the month than at others.
What’s interesting is not just that most people aren’t in touch with their desires, but that simultaneously, most of us think we ARE. We get ideas about what we want from media, our friends, our past experiences. And we piece together some image of what we want that is usually pretty generic.
First off, you have to be sure your friend is gay or bi, or he won’t want to have sex with you at all. If that’s the case, communication is key. Be frank and serious about it, but also make sure he knows that you’ll be gentle and let him set the pace. Make sure he feels safe, secure, and relaxed with you.
If a man views you as equal (e.g. being the same as him), then he will treat you like a man and you’ll probably get respect, but you probably won’t get much affection physically or emotionally. You must trust him enough to give up some of your power in the relationship where he is designed to excel. In return, you’ll get a man who will give up some of his own power and allow you to influence him in ways that will establish greater intimacy and closeness over time.
What’s the most attractive way to focus on pleasure? Focus on both your pleasure and his. Make your own pleasure a priority without ignoring the fact that you want him to feel satisfied at the same time.
Falling in love is meeting somebody you’ve never met before. Falling in love is letting go, and feeling vulnerable, open, and damn, a little scared. It’s a beautiful thing. So, let go. Because you’ll never be able to control love, so don’t try.
The “local friend” wasn’t just a friend. He was more than a friend. You don’t need to be having sexual relations, or even kissing to cheat. Hanging out 1-on-1 with someone of the opp-sex who is knowingly into you, while you liking that, and continuing to SEE them — is crossing the lines of couple-hood.
If you want a committed relationship you can say, “I really enjoy your company and want to take the relationship to the next level. I only want to be involved with you, so what are your thoughts about being exclusive?”
Men want to feel manly and significant. They want to provide for you, it’s just their nature to be that way. However, a man will only want to give to a woman who can happily receive what he has to offer, not one who is going to make unnecessary demands in order to feel good about herself and secure in the relationship. A woman who tries to get this assurance from the outside will always be unsatisfied and there is nothing more unappealing to a man than an unhappy woman.
A girl who is the epitome of perfection in every way *if she does exist* won’t be awed by anyone else. On the other hand, everywhere she goes, she’d be the girl that would receive compliments, stares and awed jaws!
it’s natural instincts. Men evolved to want to protect/provide because women are physically weaker, and so would have a hard time protecting themselves/kids. Also, Japanese women have jobs, and they still act feminine. And a man would have had to be aggressive and dominant to hunt, and to protect children/women. (who are physically weaker) If a women is all masculine, it makes her less attractive, because that’s not what a man instinctively wants in a woman. Why would a man be attracted to a woman that shows traits of someone with high testosterone? And how would that trigger his protective instincts in any way whatsoever?
After reading this book, you will not only get the guy, but you’ll actually get him. You will understand how men think and what they’re looking for. Attracting the right guy is about being confident in who you are and the value you bring to the table—so you can find a guy who’s as great of a catch as you are!
Varely-you were honest and upfront, and unfortunately not many guys can handle it. I think dating is hit or miss. Even if you have chemistry with a guy it doesn’t mean anything will come of the relationship. He might not be interested. It’s all about taking chances, and you did, so that’s a good thing. And since you’re not looking for anything serious (or even if you were) – I’d tell you the same thing – on to the next, and forget that guy! XO
Be relaxed and cool. Most guys hate it when their partners are possessive, moody, clingy, controlling, etc. Learn to relax, and have fun. We all have too much going on in our lives; don’t be the high maintenance “drama queen”. Having someone around who makes life more difficult than enjoyable will make a man lose interest. If you do things like show genuine concern when the man has had a rough day, it will earn his respect and go toward winning him over and a good man will reciprocate. Remember that most men, especially the good ones, are looking for someone with whom they can be comfortable, and not someone who is always intense.
Every time you have sex with this guy, you are falling in more deeply in love with him, giving yourself false hope. The fact is, you are second-best to him, a backup plan. When he feels like getting laid, he will always know you are available, and when you need him, he will not be there. In a relationship, both parties should benefit from it, not just one. You deserve better.
By far the easiest and simplest way to invite a man to come into your kingdom. Men are more intimidated than ever to approach women in the 21st Century. Why? You all can do just as much as we can now, so we are lacking the confidence that our forefathers had when roles were more clearly defined. A warm smile can ignite a man’s courage to walk up to you.
Once you understand this, it kind of takes the pressure of the entire ‘hunt’. Humor is a great way to attract a guy to you, and to make him be interested in you, and if you’re wondering why, it’s simply because men love to be around women who are entertaining and know how to make him laugh. We always say men are not serious enough, well: draw a conclusion from it. That means they love to joke around, so once you know this take it to your advantage, trust us, you can’t go wrong.
In keeping your back straight and your chin up, you radiate an air of self assurance. We all know that confidence is an exceptionally appealing trait. Even if you don’t feel sure of yourself, keep that spine straight! Long story short, great posture always makes you look more fascinating. If you are not used to holding your head high, do it anyway! Having beautiful posture is a non-negotiable; it is also, without question, one of the traits that men say they notice most about a woman—besides a nice body. But right now, we’re talking about your bearing and your essence, not your lean or curvy body.
What attracts a man to a woman is a subjective question. It depends on many variables: race, age of the man, what era and which culture he belongs to. For example in some tribes in Africa (Mursi tribe in Ethiopia), the women wear large lip plate in their mouth to look more attractive!
Now, I had found this article when I was looking up what women want from men, and guess what? The results were disappointing. I could tell the men who wrote the articles I had came across were only taking into account specific stereotypes of women, and it made me cringe a bit how pathetic the articles actually were.
Have a life. Desperate, dramatic, and clingy relationships are often rooted in a feeling of need and desperation for a man to fill your life. Even if you have low self-esteem, work over time to build it. Pursue your goals and be focused, explore your passions, have an interesting life, do things that take you outside your boundaries. Don’t put up a tough exterior to get over shyness; gradually learn to build trust with a network of people, so that your boyfriend isn’t the only person you open up to and share your life with. Also remember to trust yourself first. If you can’t trust yourself, you are likely to not trust your man.
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Just wondering…should women be like this from the get-go? What if the guy still has to prove himself – should we still be accepting, respectful etc? What if the guy we’re seeing doesn’t show us that he’s worth our time – shouldn’t we just be clear with where he went wrong (bullet points, sock puppets, whatever men understand lol), and move on if he’s unable to provide what we need?
And our motives for sex have diversified (as have women’s)—a reality Hatfield now calls “one of our planet’s most important new developments.” We want sex, but sometimes we want it to enhance the emotional relationship. We want to say “I love you” before you do, some of us; we want to race you to love, and win. We want to love you so much that when we see a pretty face we think it’s less pretty than we would if we didn’t love you.
Actually, a .220 batting average doesn’t seem all that good… But why would a woman want a man who is so easily manipulated (led around by his johnson) merely by a woman’s smile in the first place? Isn’t he just going to buzz off to the next flower which happens to smile at him, easy-come-easy-go fashion?
I think my biggest deficiency is that I am old fashioned, I like being spoiled by a potential mate. I have had great relationships with men who are traditional – opening doors for me, paying for dinner, not asking for me to go dutch when I am trying to determine suitability. I am not stingy, I spoil those men as well…and I always tell the men in my life how much I appreciate them. I remember the birthdays of all my friends, for example.
Willing to do whatever it takes to make a man attracted to you? Then, you are in the right place. Here are 5 ways to effectively attract men that such as using your smile that that has never been put this simple.
A book which is founded on ideas about good communication & keeping integrity is one whose advice I feel I can trust & recommend. It has a “win-win” approach that doesn’t degrade men or women – how to get what you desire/need while giving someone else what they desire/need too. Building mutually satisfying relationships is the goal, not manipulating your dream man into marrying you (blech – what an idea!).
Being feminine is about being who you really are as a woman. This is a mixture of softness, strenght, maturity, gentleness, sex appeal and beauty (inner and outer). The stereotypes this article states are just contributing to bringing down women. You shouldn’t change who you are no matter what…even if it’s for attracting guys.
“We haven’t done a good job giving men an emotional language, culturally speaking, to say ‘hooking up doesn’t work,'” says Plante. “To say, ‘I actually like to know my partner. I like to be in a relationship with her. I like to be connected to her. That’s what turns me on, more so than that she’s attractive.'”
The reason I am saying to you this is because when you compare yourself, all you do is make yourself feel miserable and frustrated. The best thing to do is be your best self and focus on things you can control and improve upon. This will make you feel good.
Here are some examples of things your husband wants you to chill out about: what tone your child just used, what happened to the throw pillow, why do we have two opened boxes of the same kind of cereal, what tone the school secretary used, how many days it has been since your sister texted.
It’s a fact of life: men and human beings are visual creatures. There are certain things a man is going to respond to whether he wants to or not. I’m only giving you this information to help you… not to offend or be rude, so please
It turns out that men and women want the same thing: a lasting, meaningful relationship. Matthew says that finding “the guy” isn’t just about finding “a guy.” It’s about creating a life with someone who engages you at every level. In Get the Guy, Matthew shows you how to be proactive in your love life so that you can meet, talk to, and win over the guy who’s right for you—without playing games.
But yeah, I agree — drop your hobbies. Go out to some bars/taverns after work once in a while, and sip on some super-light beer. Be more social in your work environment connect with others there, too.
The solution – figuring out what is desired and where to get it. Create a rough “job description” for a good partner. Figure out where that type of person can be found. Look for those characteristics and test people on them. Continue to enjoy dating – but don’t forget the end goal either!
When you really get what I’ve just shared and exude these nine traits, you will officially be in your man’s head — and in his heart as well. That’s because he will notice all the “logical” benefits of your wonderful traits right about the time his heart opens and “emotion” slowly enters the equation.
Verely; what you did wrong telling this guy you liked him is you were too easy. You have to find a way to attract a man to you, by being friendly, flirtatious maybe, but you don’t just give yourself to him.
We’re all animals, and you shouldn’t forget that. We may be wearing pants or walking on two feet, but that doesn’t change our primal instincts. We still chase each other and woo each other just like the animals in the wild. [Read: 23 must-know relationship advice for women]
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He also needs to be accountable for what he’s done and understand it’s not going to be easy to trust him for a while…maybe a long while. If he truly loves you and is truly sorry for what he’s done, he will understand that and will do what he can to help make the situation better.
10. Your Own Home. Throwing parties is one of the best ways to get yourself into the dating scene. Even if you don’t meet an eligible bachelor at your own shindig, becoming the hostess with the mostest will naturally get you reciprocally invited to barbecues, wine-tastings, poetry readings, etc. And if a friend does bring along a handsome stranger to your next house party, you have ample reasons to chat him up. After all, he’ll need you to take his coat, fetch him a drink, and tell you where he’s been all your life.
To me, it’s a numbers game. If you see a girl that you like, then go over and strike up a conversation, period. If she’s not into you, fine, you may feel stupid for a few mins, but atleast you went to bat. Better than watching her walk away and wondering if…
I’ve heard men say, “It almost seemed as if she floated across the room, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.” That is the kind of attention you want to aim for. Wherever you happen to be, when you are walking, if you’re not owning that space, something is wrong. Walking well gives you “presence” and charisma. A quality man is attracted to a woman who walks beautifully. When you are in “best walk” mode, rest assured, you are turning heads. A focused, yet relaxed stride is a valuable and easy tool you must use to get him to notice you right away. Do not walk too slowly, or too fast… just a good even stride.
And no, “typical” feminists want to promote women strength and capacities. They want EQUALITY. As in, men=women. Does that mean they think very cute/submissive/beautiful/feminine women are weak? No. Since ALL kinds of women AND men are equal no matter what.
Bottom line, don’t fight biology. All my best girlfriends were very shy and feminine. I’ve tried to get shit going with feminist career girls, I don’t really fall in love with them though. I’d like to love a strong woman, and have a son run for president, but meh…
Mat is dedicated to increasing Love in the world one heart at a time. Mat’s appeared on dozens of national media venues including: The Today Show, CNN Headline News, The Style Network, Fox News, CNN Showbiz Tonight, ABC Family, Oprah and Friends XM, the Hallmark Channel, and many more.
But cute changes everything. When a girl behaves in a cute and feminine manner, it brings out the protective instincts of a man. Instead of feeling threatened by a feminine girl, he feels protective about her. That makes him feel more masculine, and that’s something every guy loves to feel! [Read: Why men love a damsel in distress and feel more emotionally connected to them]
Dave Elliot is a Neurostrategist and Coach who is known for getting results with a variety of techniques that enable rapid transformational change. Connect with Dave for support in moving past bad relationship cycles or a toxic bad boy phase.
I think I may just be a little clingy to my boyfriend lately. My bf and I have bn together for 2years now. Being in a long-distance relationship we have naturally always wanted 2 feel like we are together all the time, we spend most, if not all, of our free time chatting online or watchng same movies at the same time etc.
Fact: A man’s sexual organ is not in his pants, it’s in his eyes. We men are visual creatures, plain and simple. Nature made us that way. It’s how we operate. Ask any man what happens when he walks in a new room, and five out of six will say something like, “I do an immediate scope and rank all the ladies in the vicinity.”
Jeffrey Platts – Consider me as a new addition to your fan club. Your list made me rethink my image. Heaps of thanks for the insights! Particularly the one about body language. I’m a notorious arm-crosser and inadvertent non-smiler.
Only problem is, we’re on Earth. What the research revealed to those on this planet is that within the male gender the question is far from settled. Envisioning a mate having acrobatic sex with a stranger made only about a quarter of Dutch and German men more upset than picturing her in love with the fellow, and about half of Americans responded the same way.
Great tips! I have come across many articles that have give all kinds of advices, but none that talk about the aura and owning our space.. these are critical in attracting the right kind of people. You have described everything very clearly and precisely, loved reading your hub! 🙂