I’ll do anything to make my wife/girlfriend happy, and in return I want to be loved. This is not a deal! This is what I call connection (mutual or whatever!) For a man having romance, being appreciated, being respected, … means nothing if he doesn’t feel to be loved.
One “striking” finding, to borrow the report’s own word, was a very strong connection between a man’s relationship satisfaction and his frequency of physical intimacy. Not physical intimacy as in sex, but physical intimacy as in kissing, cuddling, and general, not necessarily sexual, caressing. The odds of a man being happy in his relationship increased by a factor of three if he snuggled up regularly.
Just move on and find someone you can respect and appreciate just the way he is right now. If he wants your help, he’ll ask for it. The right guy for you deserves to feel like he’s your hero. If you can’t offer that, he’s not your guy.
Something I’ve learned, which I think is true for both men and women, is that there are two sides of attraction. The obvious, conventional attraction is that one has towards the masculinity/feminity of the opposite sex. However, the full spectrum of attraction & sexual/romantic fulfillment relates to ones own “self attraction” to their masculine/feminine sexual energies and how their partner brings those out. I’ve found that when it comes to turning a girl on, often it is equally important for me to make her feel beautiful, sexy, and seductive as it is for me to put effort into being the source of her attraction. Partly through compliments, but moreso through body queues that let her feed off my passion & attraction for her beauty & femininity, which stimulates her attraction towards her own sexuality. Both women & men are almost equally attracted to their own masculine/feminine sexual energies as they are to the opposite sexes. The naive may say, “A man being attracted to masculinity? That’s gay!”, but there’s a large difference between a man wanting to form a relationship & have sex with other men than being attracted to the way a woman makes him feel about his own masculinity & sexuality. Hence, why many enjoy having sex in a mirror or watching themselves on a porno vs having eyes on your partner alone.
Don’t hang out 1-on-1 with a guy “friend”, especially if you’re not that into him and he is into you. And even moreso if you have a boyfriend! It’s your yearning for attention & appreciation as an attractive, wanted woman that makes you feed off that.
As their social networks changed, so did male preferences. Maybe men don’t lock their eyes onto 36-24-36 like some broken slot machine after all, but instead possess a “flexible behavioral repertoire” that adapts sexual preferences to changing environments, the researchers conclude in Evolution and Human Behavior. A subsequent study corroborated the shortcomings of a global thin ideal, as well as the role of Western media in propagating it.
What do men want in a woman? It may seem like a loaded question, but really the answer is quite simple. While every guy has his own preferences when it comes to the physical–some like blondes, some like brunettes; some like petite, some like curvy–there are several fundamental qualities that all men crave in a woman.
Maybe you feel like you don’t know why men are deeply attracted to some women and not to others. It could feel like you’re flying blind, and you don’t know how to get the guy you want interested in you.
Be yourself. If you like who you are, then stay that way. Don’t change for other people. The girl who is really worth your while will love you for who you are, what you’ve accomplished in your life, and nothing else.
Know when to move forward. This is probably the most important step of them all. Don’t mention sex for a while. Your friends might tease you about it, and ride you for a while about it. But they’ll never have as amazing of a relationship as you, because you are the gentleman.
What attracts a man to a woman is a subjective question. It depends on many variables: race, age of the man, what era and which culture he belongs to. For example in some tribes in Africa (Mursi tribe in Ethiopia), the women wear large lip plate in their mouth to look more attractive!
I’ll preface this by saying the few dating/relationship books I’ve flipped through or read descriptions for often come across as very condescending to women. This is especially true if meant to unveil the “male mind” and give it to us straight – the “ugly truth” type of stuff. They make women feel bad for being women. You come away from just one little paragraph feeling like men essentially don’t like women (beyond the physical). We’re told we need to be more feminine, but also think like men, less clingy, but not too independent – etc. Here is a book which focuses less on how women need to change their nature, needs, desires, etc, as if we’re hopelessly incompatible with men by nature, and instead it focuses on social skills & positive thinking modes for attracting & developing relationships with compatible men we actually like & who are worth OUR time & energy.
[…] always curious to hear the opinions of guys when it comes to dating. In my last guest blog post, I asked the amazing, hilarious and insightful dating bloggers Jack From Brooklyn, Fishy, The Urban […]
Though I agree with Serena over the article. I will say… we as Americans are failing to appreciate our gender differences. Just read an article which may or may not be true that American men have 40% average less testosterone than 50 years ago.
Charm your way into his heart, but first get to that place. How, you might be wondering? Stay tuned to find out what men are attracted to and how attracting men is the easiest task, you will ever have.
Be intelligent, but not a know-it-all. Men like women who have it together and who won’t embarrass them in a conversation; they like women who know something about a lot of different things. It doesn’t have to be politics and sports, it just has to be something you are passionate about and truly understand. And they hate know-it-alls; drop that quality immediately.
Either the guy is just interested in having sex with men and no emotional strings attached, or the guy is indeed gay but still in denial. Guys are often into guys but scared of family and friends so they find themselves settling for just sexual pleasure and nothing more. That being said, if he says he’s not gay, take him at his word. It’s up to each individual to choose how they identify.
I just think there is a population that doesn’t see how they present themselves. Why would I want to spend time with a jerk who is looking for a sugar mama? Being a jerk who has misogynistic tendencies shouldn’t be attractive to ANYBODY.
Well, hello brake12. It’s true that some women are naturals. The good news is that good habits can be learned with enough commitment. It’s worth the extra effort–for sure!. Also, Aubrey, I thank you for pinning. I’m delighted that you enjoyed the hub.
Be yourself. When you meet someone for the first time, you may be tempted to be someone you’re not, such as “putting on your best face”. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to make a good impression. However, it is possible to take this too far and in turn repel men. The same applies with myths about dressing sexy and excessive flirtation. If you do not respect your body, you will only attract men who have a similar lack of respect for you and your body, and a good man will find it more difficult to take you seriously. Be yourself, and a real man will respect you.
Being clean is obviously important and goes without saying in terms of smelling good; drenching yourself in perfume is not. One thing most men agree upon is that women’s hair normally smells amazing from all the shampoo products and stuff. The point is less is more.
Sure, men see themselves as superior, even though they are willing to give up a good amount of their day because they want to provide for their family/wife. Also, It is very abusive to give women flowers and chocolates, and pay for dates, and do chivalrous things. (before women didn’t want chivalry anymore) All men ask in return for doing all this is for a woman to show love, gratefulness, and nurturing. Yeah, that’s so selfish and abusive. Call the excessive love police.
Perfume is actually something that a lot of women over do. Most men do not like very strong perfume. You’re better off sticking with something very light and being very conservative with how much you spray.
Am most grateful for the advice you have been giving. But pls most at times am not able to watch the videos you have been sending,I would love lt ,if possible it should also be written so that we that we can’t watch we can read. Please do that for me.
Women who are willing to hide or detach from their real selves in order to bag a man often seem to believe that the right guy will give them a sense of identity and self-confidence. This is backward. Looking for love before developing a strong sense of self is like trying to find the mate of a shoe you’ve never seen.
Dress to kill. Dress in clothes that make you feel sexy. You don’t have to look like a tramp, just keep in mind the styles that are attractive to men. Wear feminine clothing that accentuates your figure and hugs your body just right. Use the colors red or pink to your advantage; remember, men are visual.
What I’ve found is that once you’re in your 30s, groups of friends thin out — many get married, move away, etc. You essentially should beget more friendships, save time by cutting out your hobbies and working out at home some of the time to save time on gong to & being at the gym.
Too much, or badly applied, make-up – If we can notice it, it’s too much. A natural look will always win the day. And the worst thing is those lines on a girl’s jaw line when she hasn’t applied the foundation properly. I once went on a first date with a girl who had flaky bit of make-up on the bridge of her nose between the eyes. It was like kissing a pasty.
Men can sense your vibe and you don’t have to say anything to make it come across; in fact, the less you “try” to “prove” what a good mood you are in and the more you focus on actually being in a good mood, the better off you will be.
I find that I am drawn to women that are creative and artistic; I tend to be a nuts and bolts kind of person, circuit boards and hard drives rule my day. Having a woman that can make sure I’m getting my appropriate dosages of culture is nice. Sometimes these women are easy to spot; there’s a place I go to called the Gypsy Den and I tell you, these creative female types are all over… Though, they kinda look like they walked out of some sort of hippy people loving commune…
I received a lot of comments and feedback about two articles that I published last year: “Why Women Can’t Find a Good Man” and “Why Are Men Frustrated With Dating?”. Most of the commentary, beyond venting of frustrations on both sides, was asking for strategies to find a “good” partner. I have partially answered that question in my many articles (see the archives).
When evolutionary psychologists review this show, they find evidence for a universal male urge to reproduce. A woman’s figure is a hallmark of her fertility, they argue, and men subconsciously know it. Researchers have documented a widespread, magnetic male attraction to a waist-to-hip ratio of .7—the classic hourglass. An eye-tracking study last year found that men start to evaluate a woman’s hourglassness within the first 200 milliseconds of viewing, which, based on my pedestrian observations, seems slow.
10. Your Own Home. Throwing parties is one of the best ways to get yourself into the dating scene. Even if you don’t meet an eligible bachelor at your own shindig, becoming the hostess with the mostest will naturally get you reciprocally invited to barbecues, wine-tastings, poetry readings, etc. And if a friend does bring along a handsome stranger to your next house party, you have ample reasons to chat him up. After all, he’ll need you to take his coat, fetch him a drink, and tell you where he’s been all your life.
Make a vow to never be cheap with yourself ever again. Ignore prices on menus. Stop waiting for sales. Invest in yourself at the highest level possible, whatever that looks like for you. Don’t be irresponsible with your finances, but stop denying yourself pleasures that will make you feel special and successful. You are both.
So we males articulate our desires with the precision of a leaf-blower. That may not help our Match.com profiles, but it does support the legend of male complexity. Sociologist Rebecca Plante of Ithaca College says it’s a massive oversimplification to think that a man’s sexual desire is “as plain as the erection in his pants.” Plante has been leading part of a national, multi-campus, quantitative, and qualitative study of some 14,000 college students, organized by sociologist Paula England at Stanford, on the culture of hooking up. What Plante has found so far defies all simple expectations: While some guys do view sex and desire as one and the same, many others—even those in the early stages of a casual engagement—want someone they know and trust on a deeper level.
It’s actually just a matter of preference. It doesn’t mean women who are in charge or slightly bitchy and demanding aren’t feminine. It’s just a different type of feminine, and it’s the kind that can drive many men wild. Personally, I’ve been with very feminine, sweet demure women and also the dominating type. Both are sexy. Every guy likes to be put in his place every once in a while and sometimes an extremely sweet girl can come off vacuous. Just my two cents.
When a girl reveals her vulnerable side to a guy, it’s very hard for any guy to ignore her or avoid noticing her vulnerability. And the instant his mind connects with her vulnerability, it eliminates any thoughts of a threat and his protective side creates a bond of protection and attachment with her.
On the other hand, a small percentage of men who produce a lesser-than-normal amount of testosterone may find themselves getting more attracted to women who are less feminine and more controlling and dominant in the relationship.
Beyond that, if you have female friends, keeping their company can also help you attract other women. This is a bit different though. Rather than being seen as a dominant male by joking with other men, you will be seen as a valuable male by having other women already choose to be in your company. This is called “mate choice copying” in the literature. Women generally prefer and take notice of men who are approved of by other women… So, if you have female friends, hang out with them too…
By far the easiest and simplest way to invite a man to come into your kingdom. Men are more intimidated than ever to approach women in the 21st Century. Why? You all can do just as much as we can now, so we are lacking the confidence that our forefathers had when roles were more clearly defined. A warm smile can ignite a man’s courage to walk up to you.