Of course, it’s easy for men to say on paper that they care about personality. What really matters is how things unfold when they’re two feet from a push-up bra and nice-smelling, fruit-conditioned hair.
Falling in love is meeting somebody you’ve never met before. Falling in love is letting go, and feeling vulnerable, open, and damn, a little scared. It’s a beautiful thing. So, let go. Because you’ll never be able to control love, so don’t try.
“I think one of the biggest myths that has been perpetuated by some evolutionary psychologists—though not all—is that there is one ‘man,’ or ‘men,’ with universal behaviors,” says psychologist Viren Swami of the University of Westminster in London. “In most socioeconomically developed societies, there is—not surprisingly—a preference for relatively slender women. In many developing societies, on the other hand, the ideal female body size is heavier.” That may be little solace to some Western women, but as Swami has found, even Western males demonstrate malleability in figure preference.
Be sure to attract a decent guy though. It pains me to see a decent girl ending up with a worthless man. Women can do so much better than settle down with a worthless man. Women are independent and they can do their own thing. We don’t need a worthless man in our lives. We need a man that will complement us. We need a man that would go the extra mile just to make ends meet. We want a partner for life, not a liability. Let’s take a stand for all the independent women in the world. They deserve better men.
A good way to meet someone is through other people, or activities you enjoy. Some advice about being genuine: Don’t take up hobbies or habits just to meet someone. If you meet him in a bar, he’s liable to be a drinker. If you meet him in a house of worship, he’s likely to be religious. First impressions are important, so if his first impression of you is “party person”, it will be difficult to change. The same thing goes for if his first impression of you is “uptight person” or “mind-game person”.
Preening is great fun. Use your imagination. There are a million ways to preen “a little.” So, whenever the opportunity presents itself, take advantage of this newly acquired attraction skill. A word of warning. Never be overtly sexual. You want a man to realize that you have a mind, not just a body. You never want to attract the wrong kind of men, so be a class-act. Always.
Jack – My my, Kissinger and Latin in a short blurb about how women attract you? I’m in awe. Latin is badass, and I’m unashamed of the fact that I think that Kissinger is a stud. Eloquent and swoon-worthy, as always (you, not Kissinger… OK, well maybe both of you…). How do you not have droves of unconscious women at your feet wherever you walk?
At best, all one can realistically expect is for a guy to be OK with rejection and to let it roll off his back. As long as he doesn’t get pile-driven by rejection-after-rejection of gals not out of his league, he’ll be fine.
It amazes me to hear women go down a list of the treatment they expect, places they want to wine and dine, trips they want to go on and pampering they want to receive. Yet they skimp and don’t invest in doing these things for themselves. Boggles the mind!
As you hold your grocery basket in one hand, slowly slide your other hand through your hair, give it a couple of tussles, and then let it slowly drizzle from the nape of your neck down to the collar bone. The sexiness and playfulness of your hair, combined with the tenderness of your neck will kick in a few mating chemicals inside of him that will ignite his hunt mode.
As the internet plays an ever greater part in our social lives, with sites such as Facebook helping us to keep in touch with our friends, it’s inevitable that we also use it to help us run our love lives as well. Here is the pick of the best dating sites.
Be mysterious. A huge part of attracting men is letting them figure you out. Don’t talk his ear off about every detail of your life or your feelings. Carefully think about what you say and don’t fill the conversation with idle gabbing. Also, don’t make yourself available all the time. Allow him to wonder where you are and what you’re doing.
Lastly, a man needs time alone every now and then. We do not like to be continually smothered all the time. It is not because we do not love our woman any less, we just need time alone to space out and unwind. Be it going fishing, reading a book, video games, watching the game with mates…men NEED this time to function properly. It’s a phenomenon I can’t explain, but when I do not get my alone time, I start to feel suffocated. My fiancee has finally realized this and since then, our relationship has been going so much better.
A recent study of romantic comedies unearthed another emotional surprise. Sure, men reported enjoying sappy movies less than women do—the term chick flicks is not on trial here—but that’s very different from concluding that men don’t like them at all. Psychologist Richard Jackson Harris of Kansas State University found that actual men liked seeing a romantic comedy on a date much more than women thought “most men” would.
More often than we know, some of our habits are encouraging his indifference rather than his interest. So, before we begin, first know that we all do certain things unconsciously. Sometimes our mannerisms and ways of being act against us. Consequently, you must ask yourself, “What is it that I might be doing unknowingly to keep men at bay?”
Some women are completely unafraid to take control and others like to be dominated. The point is to find what you feel comfortable with and realize that some men will be extremely attracted to you and these particular aspects of your personality.
You probably don’t realize it, but your advice here is the same as a toothpaste ad which has been running on tee-vee recently. It shows a youngish woman by herself at some beach-side patio cafe who spots a guy there she wants to meet. It shows her passively sitting there with her Cinderella Complex looking all wistful/dreamy, and with a vague smile on her face, while the voice-over says “First, you’ve got to get him to say Hello”.
The solution – looking for a good partner, not a perfect one. There are simply better and worse partners out there. Some are more fit for a relationship than others. There is not, however, a “perfect and unique fit” for each of us. The best that can be hoped for is finding a reasonably-compatible person, who will be willing to cooperate, and working with them to create a mutually-satisfying exchange. Yes, this is far less romantic…but it works!
It occurred to me after I saw the video, men also play hard to get – well at least they say they do (treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen). Want to make sure have got this right. Would this just be a ‘front’, or self protection from men (as mentioned in previous blogs)? Trying to be ‘super cool’? I tend to give up if I get no response. Sorry if I’m being contrary – just want to know if am on the right lines.
First off, the post is awesome and not because i’m in it! =) Seriously, great stuff and what an honor to be included by such an amazing collection of Male Bloggers that I share such great respect for.
It is still possible to make eye contact with women, without male friends. It is also possible to take up space, act in a relaxed manner, and have fun – even if you are alone. All of those things will still attract female attention.
Treatment: The most important. How you treat people around you, your opinions and your behavior matter to them. Treating him respectfully and sweetly, if not flirting at the first conversation, makes a very good impression upon them. So if you like the guy, just don’t come into bitch-mode. Most probably he will run far and never come back. *damn those romcoms showing this shit*
While some of your previous relationships may have proven otherwise, the truth is men are natural givers. Yes, that’s right. They want to give, they want to provide, and they want to make you happy. What they don’t want is to be bossed around and told what to do.
Tip #5: The 5 Minute Rule. Adam has a simple rule that his female clients abide by: “Give ANYONE five minutes of your time.” This includes, he says, a cute guy, a random girl at bar, your coworker, the guy behind the register. Why? Because according to Adam, “You never know, maybe he’s also a rock star in disguise, maybe she has a brother who’s recently single, maybe your coworker’s roommate is a professor at Harvard. And if you don’t have five minutes to spare, then you’re spending your time in the wrong places.” Plus, you know, being nice to people and making new friends is a pretty good idea.
If a man views you as equal (e.g. being the same as him), then he will treat you like a man and you’ll probably get respect, but you probably won’t get much affection physically or emotionally. You must trust him enough to give up some of your power in the relationship where he is designed to excel. In return, you’ll get a man who will give up some of his own power and allow you to influence him in ways that will establish greater intimacy and closeness over time.
Men and women are desperate for uniqueness, a person with independent thoughts, not a receiver or followers of the news and trends, someone who can analyse things and come up with their her own conclusions.
To start, you must rid your mind of (or at least become aware of) the perception biases you currently have about men. According to Bob Grant, “A perception bias is where you see something based on your own way of thinking, and you then impose that belief onto other people or situations.” Common perception biases many women have about men are:
The researchers also found that women were willing to hop into bed too—a full 24 percent—if the man was good-looking enough. Another re-creation of the original experiment, conducted by Michigan psychologist Terri Conley, discovered similar behavioral shifts. She reports in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology that two in five women accept a proposition if they think the man will be good enough in bed.
This article is perfect…evn i m an Asian girl and i am naturally feminine……..that cutness,shyness,kindness,coyness is in build in me and for which i am loved by many. Evn though i am not in relationship but i am in search for a manly boy……and for those girls who are disagreeing let me tell u either you are frustated by yourself or jealous of other that you don’t have that femininty……bcoz this is wat the boys love the most
I agree with the above comment. It does seem like a lot of people are focused on perfection and discard a relationship that could potentially work with some minor adjustments too easily. Related to this is that it also seems people throw the word “compatibility” around as an excuse for breaking off a relationship. But that word by itself is too vague. Compatibility can be issues like wanting kids or not to weekend hobbies. It’s so easy for people to use compatibility to justify getting out of a relationship because it’s not perfect.
Go to LGBTQ events and mingle with people. Attending LGBTQ events is a great way to support a cause that you’re passionate about and will give you the ability to meet eligible singles. Choose an event or cause that you can support, and go with a positive mindset to meet new friends and to have fun. Make it a point to get out there and talk to people. If you see someone you’re interested in, go up to them and start a conversation.
I have heard Matthew Hussey speak on the radio and I was looking forward to reading his book, bu I was dissapointed to learn that after every chapter I had to sign in to the websiteand become a paid member in order to look t th video that accompanied each chapter……I felt thi was more of a pay as you go long “help book” than anyhing else…….I was extremely dissapointed and expected more from the author…….
If you want a committed relationship you can say, “I really enjoy your company and want to take the relationship to the next level. I only want to be involved with you, so what are your thoughts about being exclusive?”
Wanting what we cannot have is a common mental quirk that we all possess. Within the social influence research, this is called “Scarcity” (Cialdini, 2009). Essentially, we are all hard-wired to believe things that are difficult to obtain, or rare, are also valuable and desirable. However, this is not always the case. Sometimes the rare and expensive is truly valuable…other times it is just some junk a person put a high price tag on!
“The reason a woman gets hooked on one man is not because he is just sexy, or just playful, or just certain, or just masculine, or just bursting with integrity, but because he possesses a unique combination of traits: the man who is warm, has integrity, and can charm her family, then rips her clothes off in the bedroom and is a sexual god who’s willing to invest all the time she needs in foreplay; the man who is respectful with her friends, can fix things around the house and in the garage like a pro, but knows how to enjoy a lazy Sunday at the museum or craft fair; the guy who is independent, kicks ass out in the world, but is gentle and loving with his woman and lavishes attention on her. Men like this cause an alarm to go off inside a woman’s head and heart. He’s just a character in a romance novel, she thinks. Be more realistic!”
Be sexy. Men love women who are sexy and who KNOW they are sexy. The word sexy has no real definition these days — the key ingredient is that you FEEL sexy and then he senses it and thinks you are H-O-T, hot.
The reason I had even looked up what women want from men is that I simply wanted to understand that! Thing is, I realized that in order to understand that, I needed to read something written by a woman.