I actually AM one of those cute and feminine girls. I ‘ve always been. Here’s some personal experiences for y’all: I once dated a guy with not so much testosterone (he was a skinny guy who was a complete NERD). It sucked, we had nothing to connect to, and he eventually dumped me for a more “dominant” girl. Now, I have a guy who is LOADED with testosterone (and he’s attractive), who likes me. Whenever I get cold, he offers his jacket. When I’m scared or upset, he does everything in his power to make me happy. People say he’s fallen quite hard for me, and I don’t blame him!
The word “heartbreak” is bandied about so much we often forget that, along with depression and loss of appetite, physical heart pain is an actual side effect of high-stress events like the loss of loved ones. The grief from a breakup or death can be so consuming that it’s actually heart wrenching and can have serious consequences for our physical health, too.
Treat him with respect. This is the most important thing of all. Men hate being around someone who emasculates them, and a good man won’t take long to leave such a person. Don’t be afraid to help your man feel good about himself. A little known secret is that men are just as insecure as women. If he’s with his friends or family be open to opportunities to let your man look like “the man”. It will win his love and respect.
“A practical guide to understanding a man’s point of view about love and romance and how a woman can optimize self-esteem and integrity to find the love she deserves.” (Judith Orloff, MD, New York Times best-selling author of Emotional Freedom)
“It was interesting to see that it wasn’t all men who were conflating love with sex—it was just the short-term-oriented men,” says Ackerman. “There are different kinds of men and they mean different kinds of things when they’re communicating love.”
Femininity comes naturally to some girls *not just Asian girls*, but it’s an art that’s worth learning. If you want to know how to attract men, all you need to do is exude your feminine side while talking to them. And once you try that, you’ll know what I’m talking about. [Read: How to flirt with a guy without really flirting at all]
The key to most of these is that you are comfortable. If you are not comfortable then there is no point in doing any of these things. If you are, though, it will come off as extremely sexy. Being comfortable is sexy.
Fact: A man’s sexual organ is not in his pants, it’s in his eyes. We men are visual creatures, plain and simple. Nature made us that way. It’s how we operate. Ask any man what happens when he walks in a new room, and five out of six will say something like, “I do an immediate scope and rank all the ladies in the vicinity.”
For those who would like to woo a woman… It seems that the ladies are a bit more complicated. Fortunately, they are not impossible! Research by Renninger, Wade, and Grammer (2004) sheds some light on what attracts the attention of women. These researchers too went to the bar. They observed the body language and behavior of men who made successful contact with women, versus those who did not.
Many girls are against the idea of being feminine or behaving in a cute manner. To a typical feminist, behaving in a demure or coy manner is a sign of weakness. And they can’t accept that a guy finds a cute *and dare, we say it… submissive* girl more attractive than a girl who likes to be a non-girlie girl.
Barefoot College is a social enterprise with a mission to connect poor rural communities to technology and education. By doing so, they empower individuals to contribute to the wellbeing of their communities.
Is she, or does she look, bossy? – I once went on a dinner date with a zealous vegetarian called Judith. When I ordered a fillet steak she told the waiter to come back in a few minutes. ”Do you mind having something without meat?” she asked me. ”I beg your pardon?” ”It’s just – I couldn’t stand watching you eat a steak.” ”Er, right – so what should I have then?” ”How about spinach lasagne?” A short while later the waiter returned and I chivalrously changed my order. To a mixed grill. Judith and I spent the next hour in near silence before going our separate ways.
Be intelligent, but not a know-it-all. Men like women who have it together and who won’t embarrass them in a conversation; they like women who know something about a lot of different things. It doesn’t have to be politics and sports, it just has to be something you are passionate about and truly understand. And they hate know-it-alls; drop that quality immediately.
Being well-rounded also includes being a global citizen who invests in learning about different cultures and countries. Nothing expands your mind faster than traveling the world to discover the best other cultures have to offer.
As I was single my neighbor who is 3 yrs younger than me and much more mature than my last with a good steady job offered to help mow my yard and we became friends. We just were so busy with work and our pass life we never took time to notice each other. Friendship grew stronger and turned into a relationship. Yes things he does might bug me like OCD but hey at least my house is clean and kids are learning from it! I can live with his unique ways about him. Now we are engaged to be married!
So there you have it, understanding how to attract men in any situation really comes down to not being so needy, so watch out for that. Incidentally, if you want to know more practical tips for getting his attention from the moment you see him, take a look at my post: How To Get A Guy To Notice You.
There are guys putting this stuff in books and making lots of money, but their books are not nearly as entertaining nor do they have the ring of truth that you have managed to convey. As an older woman back in the dating scene, all I can say is thanks!!!
Dress to kill. Dress in clothes that make you feel sexy. You don’t have to look like a tramp, just keep in mind the styles that are attractive to men. Wear feminine clothing that accentuates your figure and hugs your body just right. Use the colors red or pink to your advantage; remember, men are visual.
Always give a man his space when he needs it – never come between a man and his friends, family duties, or his favorite hobby like playing in a band, asking him to choose – he will ultimately resent you for it, even if he initially chooses you.
Whatever you do, be natural. After all, you really do have to smooth that skirt or adjust the strap of your high heels. Now… can you picture him peering at you out of the corner of his eye, his eyebrow raised in awareness, curiosity… and desire? Of course you can. Now we’re getting somewhere. Whatever preening you do, don’t rush, and don’t look around to see who’s watching. Simply own your space, mind your own business, and smooth away. This is an excellent way to draw men toward you. You are creating anticipation “in the air” and causing him to be pulled toward you.
Now, you not being all that emotionally & sexually drawn to the local guy — that could be that he’s just filling the void that you don’t have with your LD Boyfriend. If your local friend was a Hunk, I think you would have slept with him at some point and been going thru a breakup with your LD Boyfriend, etc.
Display intelligence and depth. Don’t say “like” and “um” in every sentence. Intelligence is sexy. A smart woman who knows what she wants and how to get it will attract men everywhere she goes. Displaying your intellect reveals that you have depth. This will attract men more effectively than coming across as dim.
“Most people are terrified of getting hurt. They have elaborate ways of protecting themselves – ways that keep them safe, but unsatisfied. It’s not that they want to be alone; they just don’t know how to be vulnerable and safe at the same time. In an effort to protect their heart, they inadvertently doom themselves to loneliness.”
Just move on and find someone you can respect and appreciate just the way he is right now. If he wants your help, he’ll ask for it. The right guy for you deserves to feel like he’s your hero. If you can’t offer that, he’s not your guy.
Every man produces testosterone, a sexual hormone, in his testes. And women produce a small amount of testosterone in their ovaries. The more testosterone a man produces, the more manly he looks and the more sexually virile he is. His facial features appear manlier, his jaws are wider and more chiseled and his voice is deeper.
“This works, period. No sugar-coating, no gimmicks, no cheesy lines: Matt’s advice is practical, sometimes blunt, and most importantly, effective. You WILL get the guy after reading this, end of story!” (Louise Roe, fashion journalist, TV host)
[…] I am often left a little confused, when I see the decisions men make, in regards to choosing a mate. And really i believe that it stems from the fact that there are really just to many of us. Not in a bad way, just in a probability way. There are so many types of people with myriad hobbies and interests that it seems overwhelming to have all of the pegs align. The other reason is that most women have pretty skewed ideas about what men actually find attractive. Yes guys, do love thongs but they also like self confidence. And girls who can talk about things not cloths, shoes, celebrities. Sometimes the best way to get an answer is to ask the source. Here are a few guys, and what turns them on and off of a potential date. http://www.kellyseal.com/?p=451 […]
A girl who is the epitome of perfection in every way *if she does exist* won’t be awed by anyone else. On the other hand, everywhere she goes, she’d be the girl that would receive compliments, stares and awed jaws!
People also get hurt at various times in their dating lives. As a result, they find ways to protect their egos and self-esteem. They find ways of coping with the rejection, disappointments, and frustrations of finding love. Unfortunately, some of those ways are better than others.
Of course, you are more than just looks, but if you want to capitalize on a 20-million-year-old process that’s embedded in our DNA to attract men into your territory, then let’s study the art of body language and see if it affects the amount of men you attract into your circle. After all, 85 percent of all communication comes through the body.
Once you identify what kind of Man/fish you are looking for you need to figure out where that type tends to hang out. The good news is that men, like fish tend to have predictable habits and tend to congregate in the same, predictable locations.
You don’t have to pretend to be dumb or weak, nor do you have to behave like the weaker sex just to attract a man. All you need to do is revel in your femininity and display your cuteness, and give the man you like a chance to bask in his manliness and show off his protectiveness!
There’s plenty of resources online about improving your sex life, so I’m not going to get into it here. All I’ll say is that loving sex and loving sex with him helps a relationship a lot, and is something that shouldn’t be ignored.
Don’t change anything. You’re now in the honeymoon period, where you have some time to get used to each other. This is the time that you do the cute things of the relationship. Come up with a song together that you can label as “Our song.” Some great ones can be “I could not ask for more” by Edwin McCain, “Something Coming Over”, by O.A.R., “Breathing”, by Lifehouse, “Amazed”, by Lonestar. These are only examples, you can choose yourself, this is just a guide for what you should look for. Also, if you have a band you both mutually are really into, try to choose a song by that band. Make sure to read the lyrics and understand the song before you pick though. Some songs can be deceiving with their meanings.
First off, you have to be sure your friend is gay or bi, or he won’t want to have sex with you at all. If that’s the case, communication is key. Be frank and serious about it, but also make sure he knows that you’ll be gentle and let him set the pace. Make sure he feels safe, secure, and relaxed with you.
I’m embarrassed to say that I was dumb enough to be conned by a slick snake oil salesman. That’s all he is. A cute , energetic , great salesman. Save your money , you already know all of his so called “secrets” and “tips”.There’s no wonder to me that he himself cannot retain a partner. I bought this and 2 others from his company .What a waste of my hard earned money!!
Completely, personally I feel perfectly fine being feminine/cute and still maintaining my strengths/including career accomplishments and abilities to work hard in a variety of different fields (that may be labeled more or less masculine or feminine)
I’m sorry to hear your boyfriend cheated on you. I hope it’s a one time thing, that he’s truly sorry, and it never happens again. Unfortunately, people who cheat often cheat again. Of course there are plenty of exceptions to that rule and I hope your boyfriend is one of them.
Nothing annoys me more than someone who tells you not to feel the pain you’re in. Life can be tough – it lets you down, it feels like being punched in the gut on the bad days. But the question now is: How do you get out of it?
2) Work – People who work together tend to share many common bonds and interests. Part of this is because working together allows individuals to get to know each other and establish a base line friendship before moving into a relationship.
I have heard Matthew Hussey speak on the radio and I was looking forward to reading his book, bu I was dissapointed to learn that after every chapter I had to sign in to the websiteand become a paid member in order to look t th video that accompanied each chapter……I felt thi was more of a pay as you go long “help book” than anyhing else…….I was extremely dissapointed and expected more from the author…….
I have been known to “own my space” by plopping on the floor in the midst of hundreds of commuters, laptop in lap, typing away obliviously. Savvy, what say you to this? Sure way to never get a good guy, or excusable city dweller behavior ?
Curves: Men love curves. As Rashmi Rao mentioned in one of her answers, they are programmed to respond to softness of a woman’s body and demeanor in this sharp-edged world, and contrary to popular belief they are very much in love with the bothering love handles or embarrassing thighs. They don’t judge when they see curves. Period.
So let’s say your guy is having a hard time and needs some time alone, but you really want him to be open and honest with you and want him to share his feelings. Respecting him entails putting what’s best for him above what you want. In this case, it would be giving him the space to work through his issues even though you would prefer that he talk to you about it, because that’s what’s going to be most beneficial for him.
I realize this may not be comfortable for you, but if you take baby steps and find a way to get truly comfortable “letting go” you will notice how much this turns a man on. Do what feels natural, not what you think you are “supposed to do.”
I’ll preface this by saying the few dating/relationship books I’ve flipped through or read descriptions for often come across as very condescending to women. This is especially true if meant to unveil the “male mind” and give it to us straight – the “ugly truth” type of stuff. They make women feel bad for being women. You come away from just one little paragraph feeling like men essentially don’t like women (beyond the physical). We’re told we need to be more feminine, but also think like men, less clingy, but not too independent – etc. Here is a book which focuses less on how women need to change their nature, needs, desires, etc, as if we’re hopelessly incompatible with men by nature, and instead it focuses on social skills & positive thinking modes for attracting & developing relationships with compatible men we actually like & who are worth OUR time & energy.
6. Science-Fiction Conventions. You’ll find a slightly geeky crowd here, but that’s OK. Guys who weren’t popular in high school make excellent boyfriends. After the braces come off and the acne clears up, you’re left with a smart, nice-looking man who on some level will always feel extremely grateful to have a girlfriend. Plus, they’re handy when your computer crashes. So, read a couple of good science-fiction books — or just rent The Lord of the Rings. Then ask a late-bloomer about his favorite Phillip K. Dick novel, and he’ll take it from there.
I completely freaking agree. I’m so sick of that bullshit that ‘oh, Asian girls are so cute’, ‘every guy wants an Asian girl’, ‘all. They aren’t all cute. Some Asian b*tch kept trying to subtly get at my boyfriend, and he didn’t see what she was doing, but I did. She was fat and ugly as hell.
Men don’t care about perfection. It’s a binary scale. Attractive or not. Given that our species currently still exists and continues to grow, you should be able to surmise that “attractive” is very attainable. There is never any reason to starve yourself.
He feels the need to be around her, and his subconscious mind tries very hard to make her feel protected, comfortable and loved around him. He loses his aggressive stance, the tone of his voice softens down, and his shoulders droop down towards her instead of spreading wide. And before he even gives attraction a second thought, he’d realize that he likes the girl already! [Read: The right way to talk to a guy and make him like you]