If she wants to talk for hours, tell your friends you’re busy tonight. Making yourself available to talk is a great way to show her you’re there for her. All though you’re not dating, she’ll be comforted knowing she has a person she can talk to. Obviously, it will take some time before she confides completely in you. Girls are naturally skeptical about trusting guys with the truth about themselves at first.
Since a lot of women ask me this question on a regular basis, I thought let me ask the men I know as to what attracts them to women. I asked my husband, my friends, brothers, and colleagues, and in a nutshell the below points are the ones that they largely mentioned.
But some things have changed. One re-creation of the classic study, which was conducted by an international group of researchers and published in Human Nature, found that men are much more likely to date a woman than they had been in 1989. Although the updated study was conducted on paper, not in person, it included a larger and more diverse population of men, and it varied the attractiveness of the sex solicitor. More men were willing to date a “slightly unattractive” woman than were willing to sleep with an “exceptionally attractive” woman, 87 percent to about 82.
But the research did not stop there. What psychologists discovered is that underneath the simplicity, we men can be surprisingly complicated. We want women, yes, and we want sex. But we don’t always want a slender frame and sharp curves. Sometimes we want a good personality. And a good romantic comedy. And to cuddle. This is laboratory science talking—not Hallmark or four martinis.
A regular man who isn’t suffering from low testosterone would always find a feminine woman more attractive than a woman who thinks femininity is overrated and displays traits that are traditionally considered manly.
I think I may just be a little clingy to my boyfriend lately. My bf and I have bn together for 2years now. Being in a long-distance relationship we have naturally always wanted 2 feel like we are together all the time, we spend most, if not all, of our free time chatting online or watchng same movies at the same time etc.
Thank you! If we all just sit around hoping someone will come up and talk to us, then we’re just a bunch of people sitting around. You smile, you say “hi”, you strike up a conversation (quick, list 20 things to talk about with a random stranger!) and you see what happens. Maybe he knows someone who knows someone who’s unattached and available. You never know – and you’ll never know if you just sit there.
Many people, however, go into dating without any clear logic or goals. They lead with their feelings only and then wonder why they don’t get anywhere! Sure, there is something to be said for “enjoying the journey”. However, if a person desires to get somewhere specific (e.g. marriage, kids, etc.), then it is very handy to have a map too! Without one, they tend to drive in circles and, not surprisingly, find themselves with the same partners time after time.
Move forward by not actually being able to go backward: Hide your ex on chat, delete his phone number, defriend him on Facebook and unfollow his Twitter. And we’re not just talking about ex-boyfriends—this includes ex-hookups, ex-booty calls, ex-FWBs and any other Bad News Dudes.
Hi FlourishAnyway. Thank you for sharing the hub! I’m happy that you enjoyed that particular section–about owning your space. It really does pay off where men are concerned, but I will say that sometimes some “petty” women will get a little catty about it…but that’s there problem and not ours. As always, I appreciate your insight about the positive and confident signals we send out.
I’ll preface this by saying the few dating/relationship books I’ve flipped through or read descriptions for often come across as very condescending to women. This is especially true if meant to unveil the “male mind” and give it to us straight – the “ugly truth” type of stuff. They make women feel bad for being women. You come away from just one little paragraph feeling like men essentially don’t like women (beyond the physical). We’re told we need to be more feminine, but also think like men, less clingy, but not too independent – etc. Here is a book which focuses less on how women need to change their nature, needs, desires, etc, as if we’re hopelessly incompatible with men by nature, and instead it focuses on social skills & positive thinking modes for attracting & developing relationships with compatible men we actually like & who are worth OUR time & energy.
The quickest solution to finding a man really is to focus on handling the other areas of your life and having a lifestyle that you really enjoy. When you do this, you’ put yourself in control of your own happiness and will effortlessly attract great men into your life.
Time and chance can change a man’s physical ideals as much as place. One research team recently compared the measurements of Playboy Playmates of the Year from 1960 to 2000 to economic conditions in the United States over the same period and found that tougher times called for larger playmates. A 2005 study in Psychological Science reported that men who were manipulated to feel either hungry or poor preferred heavier female figures—a sign that, according to the researchers, resource availability can “influence preferences for potential mates” even among Western males in a wealthy culture. In other words, we can live in New York but possess a Zulu state of mind.
Don’t be a conformist bending over to everything she wants. It’s okay to be flexible, but don’t loose yourself. Sometimes she might not like something you do, if she gets upset, talk about it. Listen to her frustrations in a respectful manner and don’t react negatively, and her doing the same; have this agreement on putting all the cards on the table even if it might hurt the other; it might have rough patches but it pays off. That is true for all the unusually good relationships I know/heard of.
Have a conversation about the seriousness of the relationship. This all comes down to what you are looking for. You may be looking for a committed long-term relationship or you may just want to have fun. Either way, the guy that you’re with should understand what you want out of the relationship. Have a conversation with them about your expectations and don’t be afraid to hurt their feelings. If you wait and they make assumptions, it may end up hurting their feelings even worse later on.
If you want a committed relationship you can say, “I really enjoy your company and want to take the relationship to the next level. I only want to be involved with you, so what are your thoughts about being exclusive?”
I have met many men who are looking for that brilliant, kind, accomplished size 4 when they are fat, unemployed (or underemployed),uneducated misogynists. In my dating profiles I have had to ask men not to contact me if they were deficient in employment, physical attributes, or wealth. Who are the women who like that sort of male?
Men want to be with a woman who needs them on more than just a superficial level. A man wants to feel like he’s your hero and your protector. If he feels he offers nothing to the relationship that you couldn’t have on your own, then he will leave.
I completely agree with this article, 100 percent! I saw this on a page that was linked in a forum where a girl was bitching and moaning about how screwed up men are. But hey, don’t you get it? This is what men want. And this is what men find irresistible! Men want to be like men, and there’s nothing wrong with women displaying their femininity.
Completely, personally I feel perfectly fine being feminine/cute and still maintaining my strengths/including career accomplishments and abilities to work hard in a variety of different fields (that may be labeled more or less masculine or feminine)
If you want to attract anyone – wear red or pink, be confident and believe in the beauty that is you inside and out and think positive and smile. It’s that simple. Games only last so long. Go to places you normally would not go and take routes on the way home you would not normally take. Get out of a routine. Be brave, be fearless, don’t be afraid to try. You will have fun and discover more about yourself than you realize.
For me personally, I like it when a woman puts in effort to do makeup that enhances how she already looks but does not pile on the foundation and then add a bunch of different powders and whatnot to it.
None of this is earth-shattering, mind-blowing secrets that will give you some epiphany on love & life. Instead, it reads like common sense, the kind many of us missed the memo on, so that it’s not so “common” after all.
Been married over 9 yrs, noticed changes in spouses behavior and work routine. He now commutes 45 min to another work location 2 days/week, work later, and communicates less with me while at work, ie 1 call/ a day after 2:00pm. Noticed in 1 month several withdrawal of ATMs back to back, $600, $400, $200 on days commuting, as well as, excessive spending on the same day of withdrawals.
If you like a trait about a friend, be it her spontaneity, her courage, her carefree attitude, her posture, or the way she dresses up, your mind may subconsciously like that trait because you want to see that trait in yourself. A change of this kind is good, where you see something you like and want to see that in yourself. [Read: Why inner beauty is far more important than outer beauty]
Hi,I have purchased the program “how to attract any man” and paid whit my paypal account, but i havent got accsess to the program yet, is there a link somewhere or do i get an email? my paypal account always sends me back to the payment site.
If there is one area I see women mess up time and again, it’s in trying to define a relationship or tie a man down too soon. That’s because her need to feel “safe” is in direct contrast to his innate desire for freedom and not being tied down. If you think about it, every soldier anywhere who has ever been killed in action has died trying to defend their idea of freedom.
She is drunk. Whether it’s a bar, club or a dinner party, I’m not into a woman who feels the need to get sloshed in order to have a good time or feel confident around guys. The best indicator of whether there is a real connection is when both people are sober and able to connect to each other based on their authentic selves. Meeting while drunk just adds another social mask that will eventually come off anyways.
It’s actually just a matter of preference. It doesn’t mean women who are in charge or slightly bitchy and demanding aren’t feminine. It’s just a different type of feminine, and it’s the kind that can drive many men wild. Personally, I’ve been with very feminine, sweet demure women and also the dominating type. Both are sexy. Every guy likes to be put in his place every once in a while and sometimes an extremely sweet girl can come off vacuous. Just my two cents.
Plz sombody hlp. I want to do sex wid my bf but he isnt interested as he has so many tension in his mind,and he always telling me dat we wil do sex but not befoe our marriage but i need him now.. He doznt undrstand my feelings..plz give sum suggestion so dat i can attracted him towards me plz 🙁
Sure, men see themselves as superior, even though they are willing to give up a good amount of their day because they want to provide for their family/wife. Also, It is very abusive to give women flowers and chocolates, and pay for dates, and do chivalrous things. (before women didn’t want chivalry anymore) All men ask in return for doing all this is for a woman to show love, gratefulness, and nurturing. Yeah, that’s so selfish and abusive. Call the excessive love police.
A really good friend of mine is the more ‘agressive and dominant’ type, and I noticed that attractive guys were going after her. I was a bit envious at first, but then I found out they were just using her. There is this ONE guy who doesn’t have much testosterone, but he truly loves and cares about her.
But for love to blossom in the first place, you need to build the sexual attraction before you make him fall in love with you. It’s the safest way to make sure the guy falls for you and stays in love with you. [Read: The 7 stages of love for men]
When someone tells you that the best way to attract someone is by being yourself, well, they’re not entirely right. All of us change all the time. And not every change that we see in ourselves may be in the right direction.
8. Car Shows. Sure, you’d rather see the new Matisse exhibit; just squint your eyes and pretend it’s abstract art. Guys who are really into cars tend to be very capable and good with their hands, even if they sometimes provide you with more information about your Jetta’s carburetor than you really need. You don’t have to exhibit any particular knowledge of cars, says a frequent visitor to such shows. “Just say ‘Hey, nice car!’ As long as you’re talking, that’s good enough,” he says.
One “striking” finding, to borrow the report’s own word, was a very strong connection between a man’s relationship satisfaction and his frequency of physical intimacy. Not physical intimacy as in sex, but physical intimacy as in kissing, cuddling, and general, not necessarily sexual, caressing. The odds of a man being happy in his relationship increased by a factor of three if he snuggled up regularly.
The article is so long, and talks about so many things and tips, but all you women who feel threatened by feminine girls just jump on one point the author claims, that Asian girls behave in a more feminine way. Do you even see how you’re all behaving? Like insecure brats!! Just read the whole article and stop picking the one thing that makes you feel insecure, for crying out loud!! Instead, try to understand a guy’s mind better.
The result: She met tons of smart, funny and fascinating… women. “Don’t get me wrong,” says Marla. “I’m really glad I did all of that stuff. I made some wonderful friends and expanded my horizons. My new pursuits nourished my soul, but I have to say they did zip for my love life.”
Does sending a facebook message to a random guy you just met in person look really desperate? I decided to take the plunge, and he replied but I’m still worried I look ‘desperate’. How do I play it cool?
This is a brilliant article, thank you. My whole life I had plenty of male attention I took for granted until a couple of years ago – I was broken hearted after a break up. Ever since then, all the male attention I previously thought I would always have completely evaporated. I realise from this article that I lost the natural happy and feminine things I used to do as I lost touch with myself a little. I used to walk slower, take my time with things, wear jewellery that would give that tinkle etc. Since my break up, I filled the void with work and projects and as a result am rushing around everywhere, thinking business. Although I take care of my appearance, I miss the little touches as always thinking about how to best utilise my time, to fill it up so I don’t spend time dwelling on the past, rather than taking and owning my time. Thank you so much for making me realise what it is so clearly. This article is a blessing.
I actually AM one of those cute and feminine girls. I ‘ve always been. Here’s some personal experiences for y’all: I once dated a guy with not so much testosterone (he was a skinny guy who was a complete NERD). It sucked, we had nothing to connect to, and he eventually dumped me for a more “dominant” girl. Now, I have a guy who is LOADED with testosterone (and he’s attractive), who likes me. Whenever I get cold, he offers his jacket. When I’m scared or upset, he does everything in his power to make me happy. People say he’s fallen quite hard for me, and I don’t blame him!