A man likes beauty he can feel not see. A beautiful woman who is insecure about her looks is a big turn off for any man. If a woman is confident about the way she looks, she will stay stunning in her man’s eyes no matter how much she ages.
If we are complex—still admittedly if—we don’t like to show it. Sometimes our emotional side is so hidden researchers can’t find it. A notable mid-’90s study by evolutionary psychologists found that when you ask people what type of infidelity will upset them, men say a sexual tryst more than women, and women an emotional affair more than men. That’s Mars and Venus in galactic alignment.
Jeffrey Platts – Consider me as a new addition to your fan club. Your list made me rethink my image. Heaps of thanks for the insights! Particularly the one about body language. I’m a notorious arm-crosser and inadvertent non-smiler.
Now when it comes to “getting” your man, there is one thing you must not do if you want a man to see a future with you. Do not treat him like some kind of project that needs to be fixed because it immediately brings up the walls. If you have the urge to try to change his clothes, his circle of friends, the way he talks, what he loves to do — don’t do it!
Be mysterious. A huge part of attracting men is letting them figure you out. Don’t talk his ear off about every detail of your life or your feelings. Carefully think about what you say and don’t fill the conversation with idle gabbing. Also, don’t make yourself available all the time. Allow him to wonder where you are and what you’re doing.
If a guy feels good while he’s around you, he’s going to be interested in you! He’s going to want to spend more time with you, and he’s going to show more enthusiasm for hanging out, getting closer and getting to know you better.
Too much, or badly applied, make-up – If we can notice it, it’s too much. A natural look will always win the day. And the worst thing is those lines on a girl’s jaw line when she hasn’t applied the foundation properly. I once went on a first date with a girl who had flaky bit of make-up on the bridge of her nose between the eyes. It was like kissing a pasty.
Trust builds slowly over time. Once that trust is broken (especially when you get cheated on) it takes even longer to rebuild. Nothing will solve the situation short term. It’s going to take time for you to trust again.
Please re-read point 1 in the article and the article cited under it. The problem isn’t with the guy who is close in distance. The problem is that you feel “emotionally and sexually drawn” to your long-distance bf because he is scarce and unattainable. Essentially, your emotions are being “tricked” by the long-distance situation to be more intense than they really are. If the situation was reversed, with your bf being close and your friend living far away, you would “desire” the friend and be less interested in your bf. Feeling strong desire for someone “hard to get” is a big issue.
The book is described as providing dating tips that still let *you* be *you*, and don’t require any gamesmanship to meet and keep a quality man; neither claim turns out to be true. In a nutshell, the book’s how-to can be boiled down to this:
Fact: A man’s sexual organ is not in his pants, it’s in his eyes. We men are visual creatures, plain and simple. Nature made us that way. It’s how we operate. Ask any man what happens when he walks in a new room, and five out of six will say something like, “I do an immediate scope and rank all the ladies in the vicinity.”
The good news is that according to the latest research there are more than 20 Million single men in the US alone. So ladies, they are out there. The key to finding them is to know where they tend to congregate.
Often while walking the streets of Manhattan I adjust both the pace and position of my stride so as to follow close behind, but not illegally close behind, an attractive woman. I must stress here to my girlfriend and mother that I do not do this to admire the view. All right, so partly I do this to admire the view. But another part of me likes to observe the reactions we—we’re a caravan, now—receive from the menfolk we pass. To walk this way is to witness the spasmodic necks and detoured eyes and high-pitched whistled salutes and deep, perfumed inhalations and even, at times, affected indifference that together form the grand choreography of male desire. The performance is a haphazard one, and far creepier to the audience than to the actors, but it remains sincere as instinct.
If you focus on being in the best possible mood you can be while you’re around him, your vibe will automatically be good. And when your vibe is good, he’ll feel good around you – which he needs in order to want to be around you more.
You need to keep this in mind though, love and attraction are two completely different things. A guy may find you extremely attractive, yet he may not end up falling in love with you for his own reasons. [Read: 20 reasons why a guy may never like you back]
Fly on the Wall, you are welcome to pay for everyone’s bill. You can pay for mine!! I treat my friends very well, I am just particular about what I want and as a woman, I have the right to determine that.
Wanting what we cannot have is a common mental quirk that we all possess. Within the social influence research, this is called “Scarcity” (Cialdini, 2009). Essentially, we are all hard-wired to believe things that are difficult to obtain, or rare, are also valuable and desirable. However, this is not always the case. Sometimes the rare and expensive is truly valuable…other times it is just some junk a person put a high price tag on!
Have a conversation about the seriousness of the relationship. This all comes down to what you are looking for. You may be looking for a committed long-term relationship or you may just want to have fun. Either way, the guy that you’re with should understand what you want out of the relationship. Have a conversation with them about your expectations and don’t be afraid to hurt their feelings. If you wait and they make assumptions, it may end up hurting their feelings even worse later on.
What women think men want from them often causes women to have resentment and anger toward men, and feel hopeless about ever developing a wonderful, warm, romantic partnership. What men think women want from them often causes them much of the same feelings and frustration. The sad part is that it does not have to be this way, if only we would realize that both men and women are human beings first and pretty much want the same thing. But, you don’t have to take my word for this. I asked a number of men and women who are actively involved in personal growth and development what they want from a partner in order to build a great relationship. You will find their answers unexpected.
Respect means accepting he needs certain things, even if they are in opposition to what you want or need. For example, when men get stressed or feel unbalanced, they usually like to retreat into their “cave” to sort things out. They don’t necessarily like talking through the problem and would rather work it out on their own and then come back into the relationship re-charged.
He’s the one that cheated. He should be doing everything he can to keep you, not the other way around. Empower yourself to stand tall with or without a man in your life. You WANT a man. You don’t NEED a man.
A man prefers a partner who can understand him, someone he can lean on and trust her opinion. Someone he can engage with in an intellectual discussion. Opinionated and organised female thinker will definitely gain not just his affection but also his respect.
So there you have it – the 8 things every guy wants in a woman. If you’ve got any questions, or you disagree with anything I’ve written, go ahead and drop me a line in the comments! I love to talk about this stuff.
Once you have mastered all these steps, you will know exactly what attracts men to women scientifically, although we’re not going to get too deep into science. We have tried them out for you, and these really work! So start working on your smile and confidence, relax and get ready to woo a guy with your natural charm! It’s all it takes. And no matter what you read or hear out there, you don’t have to be a successful, independent business woman to be attractive to men. Just be yourself, and let your personality shine through!
It occurred to me after I saw the video, men also play hard to get – well at least they say they do (treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen). Want to make sure have got this right. Would this just be a ‘front’, or self protection from men (as mentioned in previous blogs)? Trying to be ‘super cool’? I tend to give up if I get no response. Sorry if I’m being contrary – just want to know if am on the right lines.
And it must be in keeping with my own perspective, because it all seems obvious and self evident to me. I don’t have a list of “must have traits”, I’d rather meet a guy, get to know him, and see how things shake out. It never works. It doesn’t matter if I meet him at work, through friends, in night class, or through a dating service, it always goes exactly the same. Either he’s married, or he decides I’m not good enough for him.
I unapologetically invest in, expect and am open to receiving the best from life—whether it’s traveling, eating, coaching, education, men, clothing or relationships. (And no, I was not born into a rich family. My parents immigrated to the United States, made their own way, and I did too).
What makes a man select one woman over another often boils down to how she makes him feel. It’s not how beautiful she is. It’s not how smart she is or how rich her parents are. At the end of the day, the most irresistible woman is the one who makes a man feel good.
“Men seemed to have a heightened sense of the precariousness of the male gender role,” says University of South Florida psychologist Jennifer Bosson, the paper’s lead author. “We haven’t found many men willing to admit that my manhood is often in question, but when you ask men in general if manhood is something that’s easy to lose and hard to attain, they agree that’s the case.” Or, as the Kinsey Institute’s Julia Heiman puts it: “Heterosexual men have a little trouble saying they really like kissing and cuddling.”
Men want women who are emotionally mature. Maturity does not mean lack of emotions. It does mean the ability to handle emotions responsibly. To attract a great man and build a long-term relationship, learn to take responsibility for your emotional experience and expression.
Be the woman who encourages a guy’s night out. A woman who, not only allow a guy’s night out, but also insists on it is a rockstar to any guy. The catch is that you have to really mean it. And if you do, he will be thinking about you the whole time he is out and won’t even notice the other girls around him.
My ignorance (as much as I try to be void of it) had blinded me once again, but alas! I overcame it, and I realized that I was looking at the wrong question. In order to find out what a woman wants from a man, you need to understand a woman. I decided to ask a question a woman would only be expected to ask. What does a man want from a woman?
What’s interesting is not just that most people aren’t in touch with their desires, but that simultaneously, most of us think we ARE. We get ideas about what we want from media, our friends, our past experiences. And we piece together some image of what we want that is usually pretty generic.
Initially, you might not feel confident with the idea of taking up any extra space, but it doesn’t really matter—just act like you do anyway. Eventually your discomfort will disappear. Just keep your chin up, and most people will not suspect your anxiety. In any event, it is natural to feel a bit of shyness in taking up your given space when you first begin practicing this important art of attraction. The good news is, in time you won’t even remember why your once felt any nervousness about owning your space. So begin now. I encourage you to first learn to appreciating any small, but pleasurable detail about your surroundings—the crispness in the air, the smell of herbs in your food, the beauty of a clear sky, whether you are surrounded by a plethora of people or none at all.
Change something—anything! Wear glasses? Try contacts. Addicted to your flatiron? Go au naturel. Never worn orange? Hello, tangerine dress! Whatever you do—no matter how big or small—should make you feel renewed and different and boost your confidence.
As the internet plays an ever greater part in our social lives, with sites such as Facebook helping us to keep in touch with our friends, it’s inevitable that we also use it to help us run our love lives as well. Here is the pick of the best dating sites.
Preening goes back to taking up your space – sort of, but it’s a highly female thing to do. Men truly love seeing a woman preen a little, not in an overly obvious or vulgar way. Ever. Good preening requires subtlety. No need to overdo it. You’re simply “smoothing your feathers.” Indeed, preening gets to the heart of flirting and in creating an aura of mystique.
I divorced my husband boz he hit me almost 5 times in 2 and half years of our marriage. he apologised and promised to never do it again.but he keep saying that you also made mistakes in this period.I love him but cant trust him. what should I do
Well, hello brake12. It’s true that some women are naturals. The good news is that good habits can be learned with enough commitment. It’s worth the extra effort–for sure!. Also, Aubrey, I thank you for pinning. I’m delighted that you enjoyed the hub.
The “local friend” wasn’t just a friend. He was more than a friend. You don’t need to be having sexual relations, or even kissing to cheat. Hanging out 1-on-1 with someone of the opp-sex who is knowingly into you, while you liking that, and continuing to SEE them — is crossing the lines of couple-hood.
I have recently moved closer to him so we can see each other more often (which is about once every 2-3 weeks). Starting out in a new city, without friends, and spending most evenings at home, i have noticed that i have become very clingy to my boyfriend. I call him up at dawn so he can wake up and go online. I have been nagging more and just really made him my everything! I hate this because it gets me paranoid, and i always get upset if he not available to chat. I know this is not good for any of us but i just cant stop.
If you just want to stay casual, you can say, “Hey, I really like you, but I don’t want a serious relationship right now. I’m just trying to have fun and don’t want to be committed. If you don’t want that and don’t want to see me, I totally understand.”
How can I get my boyfriend to stop treating his daughter (from a previous marriage) better than me? I get a lot of grief for this question and cannot seem to get an answer. My boyfriend treats his daughter like a surrogate spouse when she is here….she gets her way with EVERYTHING, no exaggeration. She also gets AWAY with everything while he expects obedience from my son. He gets very defensive of his daughter if I try to explain this to him….which makes things worse because then I feel like…why won’t he defend ME?! I love this guy and want to marry him….he feels the same….we just have that one problem I feel will get worse with time unless I find a miraculous way to change it. How do I get him to see this and change…. without causing an argument or further damage?
Learning how to be attractive to men doesn’t always involve rejection, women seem to believe that men will somehow reject them if they speak to them or attempt to ignite some attraction. But that couldn’t be further from the truth, men are more shocked that anything else – so use this to your advantage and start chatting to the guys you like, who knows you could find love in the strangest places.