Be the woman all his friends are lusting after and who lights up the room with your smile. It’s a fact; if all of his friends are “ooohing and ahhing” over you, he will be attracted to you all the more.
Play hard to get. The worst thing you can do is to smother a guy or appear desperate. Men are attracted to the thrill of the chase, so if you’re chasing after him, you’re taking away the challenge. Keep it low-key and keep him on the edge of his seat. Maintain your composure. Your outward indifference may make him want you more.
…and let a friend do it for you. Casey says pick a (preferably coupled-up) close friend and put her in charge of finding guys—any other guy you meet automatically goes in the friend zone. “You’ll only go on dates with someone she sets you up with,” Casey says. Not only does this help you date better men, you’ll also end up acting more genuinely around other guys you meet when the should-I-date-him pressure’s off.
Discover what men said they want from women as contrasted with what women think men want. You’ll also find tips for women to give men what they want, attract a great man, and create a wonderful relationship.
For now, allow your genes and natural history to be the best wing man in the business. We definitely don’t need to be slaves to our primate history, but it sure doesn’t hurt to be aware of it and use it gain influence with the opposite sex.
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what “healthy living” means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
First off, the post is awesome and not because i’m in it! =) Seriously, great stuff and what an honor to be included by such an amazing collection of Male Bloggers that I share such great respect for.
Wonderful post! I think if I could have applied this wisdom from a younger age I would not have all the relationship problems I’ve been experiencing again and again. Thanks for helping me feel there is definitely a way to not feel desperate, now I have hope. Jean X
Perfume is actually something that a lot of women over do. Most men do not like very strong perfume. You’re better off sticking with something very light and being very conservative with how much you spray.
Male stereotypes fail to take into account the importance of what might be called a commitment continuum. At one end are married men, at the other are gigolos, with all shades of monogamous and polygamous moderation in between. The oversight helps perpetuate misunderstandings of what men want.
Other individuals rely on luck, fate, or destiny. Because they believe the process is more-or-less out of their hands, they may not put much work into it. They might not look hard. They might not build themselves up to be better people and more valuable partners. Instead, they may believe someone will simply be their “soul mate” and “love them exactly as they are”.

You can hit all the fine points of our age-old mating dance, but if you don’t pull away from the pack, then he might not ever go in for the approach due to the wall of your protective clan. Obviously, if you are alone you need not worry about this one, but if you and the girls or guy friends are out and you see a young buck checking you out, it might be time to take a stroll, which will invite him into your own personal space.
Girls who always think of things – I like girls who always make provisions. Girls who carry brollies (because there’s nothing worse than my hair getting wet), girls who keep tissues in their handbag, and girls who remember to remind me about their birthdays (and my mum’s).
After reading this book, you will not only get the guy, but you’ll actually get him. You will understand how men think and what they’re looking for. Attracting the right guy is about being confident in who you are and the value you bring to the table—so you can find a guy who’s as great of a catch as you are!
Hi Sam…So glad you liked the article. Flipping the hair, in conjunction with smiling and eye contact may indicate mild flirting. But hair flipping alone does not indicate interest. Some women are overly obsessed with appearance, and as such, may have developed the hair flipping thing as a nervous habit. Long story short, it depends upon the rest of her body language.
I received a lot of comments and feedback about two articles that I published last year: “Why Women Can’t Find a Good Man” and “Why Are Men Frustrated With Dating?”. Most of the commentary, beyond venting of frustrations on both sides, was asking for strategies to find a “good” partner. I have partially answered that question in my many articles (see the archives).
Now, you not being all that emotionally & sexually drawn to the local guy — that could be that he’s just filling the void that you don’t have with your LD Boyfriend. If your local friend was a Hunk, I think you would have slept with him at some point and been going thru a breakup with your LD Boyfriend, etc.
First off, you have to be sure your friend is gay or bi, or he won’t want to have sex with you at all. If that’s the case, communication is key. Be frank and serious about it, but also make sure he knows that you’ll be gentle and let him set the pace. Make sure he feels safe, secure, and relaxed with you.
Do you feel like giving up hope for your relationship? You don’t have to journey alone. You can connect with one of our free and confidential mentors for encouragement and support. Just fill out the form in the “Connect” tab below.
If you accept who he really is when he’s not wearing his mask (without a hint of judgment – judgment will shut him down and drive him away from you in a blink), he will feel deeply, truly connected to you.
I am white. Before dating me, my man dated many Asian women. He is still friends with a few of them. I always felt a little frustrated by this. If he liked blondes, I could dye my hair. I cannot change my ethnic background!
Obviously, none of us are ascended beings, walking around with a nimbus over our heads…but, when you start couching it as “the lesser of the evils on the spousal menu”, you’ve made the entire spectrum inedible. The mere idea, that humans would even tolerate, let alone welcome, walking into relationships with battered, scarred and marred “sets of problems”, is indicative of a psychosis this site will Not solve. It’s Ant Community. There’s remotely nothing “human” about it.
Now before you attack that idea as sexist, we’re really just talking about two people who come together to love, care for and make each other’s life even better by forming a cooperative partnership here. The real beauty of a relationship is when two people come together with a desire to give rather than just take. That’s when the magic is unleashed.
Just as our bodily ideals aren’t stuck on the hourglass, neither is our general desire stuck on the body. A survey conducted around the time of the Clark-Hatfield study reported that about a third of men have imagined sexual encounters with more than 1,000 different women. In our minds, at our best, we are not Einstein but Warren Beatty. Swami’s studies support the concept of dynamic attractiveness—the idea that no matter our age or body preference, looks are but a single line of code in a complex algorithm of attraction, alongside others defining sense of humor, core beliefs, personality, and more.
I am an ASIAN woman f, love it not because of anything, love that comes from habit, from the eye to the brain and the mind to the heart, that true love is pure in mind and heart, it is a gift, because it raised an expectation of love and sacrifice, and if do not be afraid to sacrifice love romance, and believe me mate is actually a reflection jiwa.per confident love yourself, do not be hung with the hard work of others, success with hard work and effort, not the passenger name.
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Dress to impress but remain comfortable. When you are going out to meet new guys, it’s important that you feel confident and comfortable in your clothes. However, if your outfit makes you feel ridiculous or uncomfortable, it will affect your mood and the way that the date progresses.[13] Pick out something that you would usually wear, but make sure that it’s clean and looks fresh before you go out.
“There is an urgent need to expand what we mean by ‘attractiveness’ to include a much broader array of factors than physical traits alone,” says Swami. Studies indicate that a majority of people are concerned with their appearance, “but studies also indicate that attraction and relationship formation are often more strongly predicted by factors other than physical appearance. Physical attractiveness might matter in the absence of social interaction, but once social interaction takes place, the importance of appearance diminishes rapidly.”