Roxelana, called Hürrem Sultan, entered the harem of Süleyman the Great as a Ukrainian slave, when she was only 15. She quickly beat out all of her gorgeous and numerous competitors. Her joyful spirit and playful temperament earned her a new name, Hürrem, from Persian Khorram, “the cheerful one”. In the Istanbul harem, her influence over the Sultan soon became legendary. She was allowed to give birth to more than one son which was a stark violation of the old imperial harem principle, “one concubine mother — one son.”
Significantly more men approached when the woman smiled (22% vs. 4%). According to Gueguen (2008), this is due to the fact that men are looking for a woman to show interest in them as a clear signal to approach. The women who make eye contact AND smile give such a clear signal. So, if you want a man to notice you and approach, make eye contact and smile!
I always had a hard time figuring out what motivates a man to approach and hang around (besides a woman’s “hotness”, but I think there is more going on)…do we send out the wrong signals and not even know it? So, I’m pleased to share with you some expert thoughts on the subject…I knew I’d get some interesting feedback, and they did not disappoint.
Have a conversation about the seriousness of the relationship. This all comes down to what you are looking for. You may be looking for a committed long-term relationship or you may just want to have fun. Either way, the guy that you’re with should understand what you want out of the relationship. Have a conversation with them about your expectations and don’t be afraid to hurt their feelings. If you wait and they make assumptions, it may end up hurting their feelings even worse later on.
For those who would like to catch a man… It appears getting male attention is fairly straightforward. According to research by Gueguen (2008) a simple smile will greatly increase the likelihood that “Mr. Right” will come over and say hello to you. Gueguen (2008) asked a female assistant, rated as being of “average” attractiveness by male raters, to go to a local bar. She was then instructed to 1) either make eye contact and smile for two seconds at a man seated alone, or 2) make eye contact only, without smiling, at a man seated alone.
Be relaxed and cool. Most guys hate it when their partners are possessive, moody, clingy, controlling, etc. Learn to relax, and have fun. We all have too much going on in our lives; don’t be the high maintenance “drama queen”. Having someone around who makes life more difficult than enjoyable will make a man lose interest. If you do things like show genuine concern when the man has had a rough day, it will earn his respect and go toward winning him over and a good man will reciprocate. Remember that most men, especially the good ones, are looking for someone with whom they can be comfortable, and not someone who is always intense.
“Most people are terrified of getting hurt. They have elaborate ways of protecting themselves – ways that keep them safe, but unsatisfied. It’s not that they want to be alone; they just don’t know how to be vulnerable and safe at the same time. In an effort to protect their heart, they inadvertently doom themselves to loneliness.”
Honestly stopped reading when you mentioned Asian girls and continued on for a paragraph or two. Guys say they don’t like being compared, but go on an compare girls to other girls. It’s like someone saying ‘oh, girls like big penises. Check out any black guy’s package and you could see why no girl in their right mind would deny one. Wait though, there are a lot of guys who are well endowed *not just black guys* – but mainly black guys’. See what i’m saying? I’m half thai myself, and have met many MANY terribly not cute Asian girls – and white, black, hispanic, every girl of the ‘racial rainbow’.
By far the easiest and simplest way to invite a man to come into your kingdom. Men are more intimidated than ever to approach women in the 21st Century. Why? You all can do just as much as we can now, so we are lacking the confidence that our forefathers had when roles were more clearly defined. A warm smile can ignite a man’s courage to walk up to you.
Listen to the way he talks to you, also his body communication. Try to find things in common to keep a conversation going. Men always love a girl or guy who could just be themself around him, and in public.
Fly on the Wall, you are welcome to pay for everyone’s bill. You can pay for mine!! I treat my friends very well, I am just particular about what I want and as a woman, I have the right to determine that.
I’ll do anything to make my wife/girlfriend happy, and in return I want to be loved. This is not a deal! This is what I call connection (mutual or whatever!) For a man having romance, being appreciated, being respected, … means nothing if he doesn’t feel to be loved.
And of course, as everyone knows, like attracts like. As Margaret Paul, Ph.D said: “People attract each other at their common level of woundedness or their common level of health.” It’s easier and gets better long-term results to fix the core problem than to practice acting.
A little eye tennis goes a long way. When you are sitting at that Starbucks, combine your smashing smile with 3-5 second eye contact. Two seconds is, “Did she just look at me?” Three seconds is, “I think she just checked me out, but maybe the guy behind me.” Four to five seconds is, “Oh, it’s on. She just checked me out. I got to talk to her!”
Dress to impress but remain comfortable. When you are going out to meet new guys, it’s important that you feel confident and comfortable in your clothes. However, if your outfit makes you feel ridiculous or uncomfortable, it will affect your mood and the way that the date progresses. Pick out something that you would usually wear, but make sure that it’s clean and looks fresh before you go out.
When it comes to true demonstrations of masculine energy and the code it lives by, the concept of honor is practically inseparable from the ideal. Whether it’s warriors on the battlefield or symbolic “warriors” on the playing field, having your partner’s back is the difference between winning and losing or even life and death. A man has got to trust that you’re on his team and have his back, otherwise, he will never commit.
I just think there is a population that doesn’t see how they present themselves. Why would I want to spend time with a jerk who is looking for a sugar mama? Being a jerk who has misogynistic tendencies shouldn’t be attractive to ANYBODY.
“Matthew’s methods are working… Those who would previously never dream of going up to a man are hunting them down in double figures. Phone numbers are collected like the spoils of victory… [We become] an army of women from whose charms no man is safe.” (Emma Messenger, The Daily Mail)
My ignorance (as much as I try to be void of it) had blinded me once again, but alas! I overcame it, and I realized that I was looking at the wrong question. In order to find out what a woman wants from a man, you need to understand a woman. I decided to ask a question a woman would only be expected to ask. What does a man want from a woman?
As you hold your grocery basket in one hand, slowly slide your other hand through your hair, give it a couple of tussles, and then let it slowly drizzle from the nape of your neck down to the collar bone. The sexiness and playfulness of your hair, combined with the tenderness of your neck will kick in a few mating chemicals inside of him that will ignite his hunt mode.
How can I get my boyfriend to stop treating his daughter (from a previous marriage) better than me? I get a lot of grief for this question and cannot seem to get an answer. My boyfriend treats his daughter like a surrogate spouse when she is here….she gets her way with EVERYTHING, no exaggeration. She also gets AWAY with everything while he expects obedience from my son. He gets very defensive of his daughter if I try to explain this to him….which makes things worse because then I feel like…why won’t he defend ME?! I love this guy and want to marry him….he feels the same….we just have that one problem I feel will get worse with time unless I find a miraculous way to change it. How do I get him to see this and change…. without causing an argument or further damage?
Omg! omg! Can’t believe this! Evrythng worked on the first time itself! He was away for the weekend with his buddies n I was all alone! I gave him his space n happily talked to him when he returned, dressed cute for the evening n he’s dying to spend the next weekend with me! Never ever happened in 3 yrs! Thanks a ton!
I am an ASIAN woman f, love it not because of anything, love that comes from habit, from the eye to the brain and the mind to the heart, that true love is pure in mind and heart, it is a gift, because it raised an expectation of love and sacrifice, and if do not be afraid to sacrifice love romance, and believe me mate is actually a reflection jiwa.per confident love yourself, do not be hung with the hard work of others, success with hard work and effort, not the passenger name.
The researchers were floored and expect the finding to prompt full “reconsideration of the role of physical affection and its meaning for each gender in longer-term relationships.” Says Julia Heiman, director of the Kinsey Institute and the study leader, “People really are so willing to accept stereotypes of male promiscuity and inability to commit. That is the problem with stereotyping: It tends not to be ‘men in their early 20s’; it tends to be ‘all men.’ It’s just that men are more complicated than that.”
She has a glow. Hard to describe this, but it’s something you can just feel when you see it. You can tell that she’s connected to her heart and is okay with sharing her love with the world. If a guy approached her and she wasn’t interested, she would be honest, yet have respect and compassion for his courage to come up talk to her.
That’s better than nothing, I guess. But, people with (authentic) high self-esteem are naturally happy and confident and naturally like other people so they naturally do all that anyway. Most people can spot someone trying to fake self-confidence and/or happiness.
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For example, suppose you’re sitting somewhere, say at a cocktail party, and plenty of interesting men are milling about. Now is your time to preen. You can decide to smooth your skirt… simply run your hand from thigh to knee (while he’s watching, of course), or you might adjust the strap of your high heel ever so slightly, and then gently splay your fingers softly from ankle to mid-calf. Just checking, you know… to see if everything is in place. You’re preening a little.
Yes. I actually just wrote this cliché. I can’t believe I am even writing it but it’s such a concise way to describe one of the most attractive things to most men: a woman who is presentable and one way when she’s interacting with the world but behind closed doors brings out an entirely different wild, sexual side.
If you like a trait about a friend, be it her spontaneity, her courage, her carefree attitude, her posture, or the way she dresses up, your mind may subconsciously like that trait because you want to see that trait in yourself. A change of this kind is good, where you see something you like and want to see that in yourself. [Read: Why inner beauty is far more important than outer beauty]
Finding a partner often feels like an awful lot of work for very little reward. The relationship expert Matthew Hussey used to feel the same way. So he did some field research, taught himself to meet the women he was looking for, and built a business coaching other men to improve their love lives. And now he’s sharing his insights with you.
The first step is to change our undesirable habits. We do this by reminding ourselves that we are being noticed, even if for a split second. Frankly, it matters that we emit a positive and interesting vibe. By developing an aura of natural confidence we are also more likely to weed out undesirable men. How so?
Finally, always look polished. Wear that bright nail polish on your toes – maybe a luminous hot pink, a blazing orange, or a bright torquoise. Put on those beautiful bracelets that give off a pleasant sound when you gesture with your hands. I’m serious… men ache for these little touches of femininity.
Cue the incoherence. Nearly 70 percent of men agreed to visit the lady’s apartment, and 75 percent accepted the sexual proposition. At least one man asked why wait until the night. Another checked his mental calendar and said he couldn’t today but what about tomorrow. Another who refused on account of being married apologized for having to refuse on account of being married. Meanwhile just half the men agreed to go out sometime. Extrapolating the finding to the real world means that on any given first date, the man would sooner sleep with the hostess than dine with his companion.
Women who are willing to hide or detach from their real selves in order to bag a man often seem to believe that the right guy will give them a sense of identity and self-confidence. This is backward. Looking for love before developing a strong sense of self is like trying to find the mate of a shoe you’ve never seen.
Men want women who are emotionally mature. Maturity does not mean lack of emotions. It does mean the ability to handle emotions responsibly. To attract a great man and build a long-term relationship, learn to take responsibility for your emotional experience and expression.
When a woman tells a man what to do, she is essentially emasculating him by taking away the very thing that makes him feel significant: his ability to provide. When you boss him around, he feels like a failure for not being able to do his job. Rather than wanting to do more for you, he feels defeated and retreats.
Try to stay fresh all the time, and avoid strong perfumes and smells that will irritate rather than attract them to you. Thinking about what scent attracts men we came to the conclusion those are natural scents. The smell of your skin, and freshly washed hair… Every woman has a specific scent, and that is exactly what you should point it out and use to your advantage.