This is a brilliant article, thank you. My whole life I had plenty of male attention I took for granted until a couple of years ago – I was broken hearted after a break up. Ever since then, all the male attention I previously thought I would always have completely evaporated. I realise from this article that I lost the natural happy and feminine things I used to do as I lost touch with myself a little. I used to walk slower, take my time with things, wear jewellery that would give that tinkle etc. Since my break up, I filled the void with work and projects and as a result am rushing around everywhere, thinking business. Although I take care of my appearance, I miss the little touches as always thinking about how to best utilise my time, to fill it up so I don’t spend time dwelling on the past, rather than taking and owning my time. Thank you so much for making me realise what it is so clearly. This article is a blessing.
So we males articulate our desires with the precision of a leaf-blower. That may not help our Match.com profiles, but it does support the legend of male complexity. Sociologist Rebecca Plante of Ithaca College says it’s a massive oversimplification to think that a man’s sexual desire is “as plain as the erection in his pants.” Plante has been leading part of a national, multi-campus, quantitative, and qualitative study of some 14,000 college students, organized by sociologist Paula England at Stanford, on the culture of hooking up. What Plante has found so far defies all simple expectations: While some guys do view sex and desire as one and the same, many others—even those in the early stages of a casual engagement—want someone they know and trust on a deeper level.
When you really get what I’ve just shared and exude these nine traits, you will officially be in your man’s head — and in his heart as well. That’s because he will notice all the “logical” benefits of your wonderful traits right about the time his heart opens and “emotion” slowly enters the equation.
As the internet plays an ever greater part in our social lives, with sites such as Facebook helping us to keep in touch with our friends, it’s inevitable that we also use it to help us run our love lives as well. Here is the pick of the best dating sites.
Love is not just words, man understand that well. But every now and then he likes to be reminded how great he is and how special he had become in his woman’s life. This affirmation is important to keep him engaged and attached to her.
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The explanations of male thinking is also not “boys will be boys” trash that insists sexist and misogynistic behaviors are simply “biological” for men & have to be tolerated by women. Instead of making excuses, the author manages to be honest & fair in describing common male mindsets & how & why certain negative attitudes/behaviors are triggered (much as stereotypical female negative behaviors can be triggered by crappy moves on a guys’ part). Since a relationship is a dynamic, it’s only fair to adjust what you can control – yourself. So you learn very subtle methods to hone your social & dating skill to basically COMMUNICATE in a way that men in general will grasp correctly.
Become more confident. You can appear more confident by having a straighter posture, smiling, and making eye contact with people while you talk with them. Don’t continually self deprecate or be overly critical on yourself. Think about all the positives about your personality, and work to improve in the areas that you lack.
Does sending a facebook message to a random guy you just met in person look really desperate? I decided to take the plunge, and he replied but I’m still worried I look ‘desperate’. How do I play it cool?
Kindness: A kind woman is the most attractive woman in the room. Men love it if a woman is kind to the people who maybe from a lower rung of society. It is very attractive if the woman makes it a point to be extra nice to servers at the restaurant.
Obviously, none of us are ascended beings, walking around with a nimbus over our heads…but, when you start couching it as “the lesser of the evils on the spousal menu”, you’ve made the entire spectrum inedible. The mere idea, that humans would even tolerate, let alone welcome, walking into relationships with battered, scarred and marred “sets of problems”, is indicative of a psychosis this site will Not solve. It’s Ant Community. There’s remotely nothing “human” about it.
To another mans comment above I agree NO man wants to date some woman who is always arguing why are u even thinking about stereotype this and that blah blah blah” oh plz shut UUUPPP!!!! I giggled a little when he said Asian women lol but who cares! Don’t get so offended they are very cute and sweet is that bad to point it out ?
But yeah, I agree — drop your hobbies. Go out to some bars/taverns after work once in a while, and sip on some super-light beer. Be more social in your work environment connect with others there, too.
If you like a trait about a friend, be it her spontaneity, her courage, her carefree attitude, her posture, or the way she dresses up, your mind may subconsciously like that trait because you want to see that trait in yourself. A change of this kind is good, where you see something you like and want to see that in yourself. [Read: Why inner beauty is far more important than outer beauty]
There’s a man locally who I’ve known for awhile (including times that we’ve been lovers), who really loves me, treats me well, and is also not pressuring me to be with him, though he’s made it clear that he’s interested.
Northwestern University psychologists Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel recently arranged a speed-dating event for 163 university guys and gals and had them indicate beforehand what they wanted in a mate: attractiveness, earning potential, or personality qualities. The men—no surprise—overwhelmingly said they wanted looks. But when they got to the table something changed. Eastwick and Finkel discovered that pre-event ideals failed to predict a person’s true romantic interests.
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Great article! I totally agree. The cuteness of a woman can tame a man’s heart and lust to find other women out there, but of course beeing sexy too. To those women that disagree with this article, stop beeing so dominant. Men are physically and etc. stronger than us women, they dont need a tougher spouse to live with, let them be the men and u be the woman a.k.a queen/princess. Are how is that? Politeness, funny, shyness, cuteness, sexyness. If u want to be the stronger spouse in the relationship, they will surely not stay long with u since it is in their nature that they are the ones who should feel masculine and strong and have responsibilities to protect and love his gf/wife. They want to feel that they are wanted, so let them lead and u as woman relax and enjoy. (Not talking bout the cooking and cleanin though lol)
Lastly, a gal that doesn’t take care of herself. This is partly tied to appearance, truth be told. A woman that doesn’t take good care of herself physically is more prone to be lacking in other areas of her life, too. There’s a lot of fixing up to be done, in some cases. If a woman is fine being out of shape and not taking care of herself and has no other issues, that’s okay, too. However, I want a woman that cares about her well being and physical health as much as I care about my own; it’s as simple as that.
Sometimes men lie to women because they feel telling the truth will cause you to freak out and go into emotional overload which men aren’t equipped to handle. For example, if you constantly question where he’s at or who he is with, then he will tend to lie because it’s easier (and less scary) than having you potentially get upset or unload on him over nothing.
Been married over 9 yrs, noticed changes in spouses behavior and work routine. He now commutes 45 min to another work location 2 days/week, work later, and communicates less with me while at work, ie 1 call/ a day after 2:00pm. Noticed in 1 month several withdrawal of ATMs back to back, $600, $400, $200 on days commuting, as well as, excessive spending on the same day of withdrawals.
I had sex several times with a guy who is dating a girl. He says he doesn’t like me and that he is in love with his girlfriend, but that he won’t be able to control himself if we are alone in a room. Do I have a chance with him?