I also don’t follow what you mean by ‘seeking a partner of equal value’. The fact that most women value men who are violent, abusive, and dysfunctional thugs—or weak, effeminate metrosexual types—illustrates how little most of them value masculinity at all.
Men want a woman to choose them out of want rather than out of desperation — either materially or emotionally. Men need to be wanted and needed by their partners, but they want their partners to have a separate identity. Men want a woman to be active and independent, to have her own friends and interests. On the other hand, men treasure time spent with a loving partner. Women think men don’t want women to need them. Women think men do not need or appreciate time spent together as a couple. Women believe that showing a man he is needed will turn him off and possibly make him run away.
Display intelligence and depth. Don’t say “like” and “um” in every sentence. Intelligence is sexy. A smart woman who knows what she wants and how to get it will attract men everywhere she goes. Displaying your intellect reveals that you have depth. This will attract men more effectively than coming across as dim.
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He also needs to be accountable for what he’s done and understand it’s not going to be easy to trust him for a while…maybe a long while. If he truly loves you and is truly sorry for what he’s done, he will understand that and will do what he can to help make the situation better.
Thirdly, and I guess its part of being confident, is being organized. A man loves a girl who has things planned and ready. I won’t go into too much detail here, but generally a woman must all the bases covered and be punctual. If you are already living with a guy, make sure the house is well stocked with food and all the other stuff like shampoo, soap etc etc. Dinner must be on time. A man REALLY REALLY appreciates a woman who is on top of that sort of thing.
Have a life. Desperate, dramatic, and clingy relationships are often rooted in a feeling of need and desperation for a man to fill your life. Even if you have low self-esteem, work over time to build it. Pursue your goals and be focused, explore your passions, have an interesting life, do things that take you outside your boundaries. Don’t put up a tough exterior to get over shyness; gradually learn to build trust with a network of people, so that your boyfriend isn’t the only person you open up to and share your life with. Also remember to trust yourself first. If you can’t trust yourself, you are likely to not trust your man.
Start with innocent touches and be very nonchalant and natural when you do it. For example, if you are sitting next to each other, you could kind of inch a tiny bit closer to him and have your leg against his leg and don’t say a word about it, just enjoy the moment. Or you could casually touch his thigh, as if it’s the most normal thing in the world.
Know when to move forward. This is probably the most important step of them all. Don’t mention sex for a while. Your friends might tease you about it, and ride you for a while about it. But they’ll never have as amazing of a relationship as you, because you are the gentleman.
In addition to being appreciated, men have an enormous need to feel respected. This is true of all humans, but usually this desire burns stronger in men. What I mean by respect, is she understands who he is and what he needs and gives him space to express himself without making demands on him and prioritizing herself over him.
Something I’ve learned, which I think is true for both men and women, is that there are two sides of attraction. The obvious, conventional attraction is that one has towards the masculinity/feminity of the opposite sex. However, the full spectrum of attraction & sexual/romantic fulfillment relates to ones own “self attraction” to their masculine/feminine sexual energies and how their partner brings those out. I’ve found that when it comes to turning a girl on, often it is equally important for me to make her feel beautiful, sexy, and seductive as it is for me to put effort into being the source of her attraction. Partly through compliments, but moreso through body queues that let her feed off my passion & attraction for her beauty & femininity, which stimulates her attraction towards her own sexuality. Both women & men are almost equally attracted to their own masculine/feminine sexual energies as they are to the opposite sexes. The naive may say, “A man being attracted to masculinity? That’s gay!”, but there’s a large difference between a man wanting to form a relationship & have sex with other men than being attracted to the way a woman makes him feel about his own masculinity & sexuality. Hence, why many enjoy having sex in a mirror or watching themselves on a porno vs having eyes on your partner alone.
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Fidelity is an absolute must. In fact, men want a woman who does not have a “roaming eye” and who can wholeheartedly commit to the relationship. Many may define commitment as fidelity plus the willingness to work on the relationship — even when the going gets tough. Women think that all men want is sex, and that men will leave a relationship for the next prettier face. Women think men cannot be trusted to be faithful. Women believe men do not want to work on a relationship, and that when the going gets tough, they run.
What I’ve found is that once you’re in your 30s, groups of friends thin out — many get married, move away, etc. You essentially should beget more friendships, save time by cutting out your hobbies and working out at home some of the time to save time on gong to & being at the gym.
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Finding a good man can be a struggle for a lot of guys. You have to figure out where to meet them, how to approach them, and then how to gain and keep their attraction. For people that don’t naturally have good social skills, it can be like solving a puzzle. Luckily, there are techniques you can use and things you can do to not only get a man but maintain a strong and healthy relationship for the long run.
4. Chat and flirt with everything that moves, employing these specific strategies, types of come-ons, text messages and actions (which may totally seem like gamesmanship and manipulation, but trust the author, it’s not).
Men are picky when it comes to dating. If you are single and out there dating, I am sure you are very aware of just how choosy men are. Women are particular too, but somehow the men seem to be worse. Usually, men have an idea in their head of a type of gal to whom they are attracted, and either you fit the mold or you don’t. However, occasionally a man will fall for a girl who is outside of his wheelhouse. Wouldn’t it be great if you could be that woman who could attract ANY GUY (within reason of course)?
Keeping up a conversation: It would be a blessing if you can keep up a conversation other than just saying “hmmmm”, “k” etc. Please for God’s sake read some books, read the newspaper, contribute to the conversation. We need not Discuss International Taxation, Monetary policy, fiscal policy or Politics, but atleast you should be able to talk about the regular stuff in our life, like Cricket 😉
There are two common ways people protect their egos in these situations by creating biases that blind them. On one hand, they may expect very little of themselves and make excuses for failures before they even happen. This is called Self-Handicapping (Tice, 1991). On the other hand, they may expect very little of others and make themselves feel superior by looking down at them. This is called Pre-Judging (Fein & Spencer, 1997).
Just wondering…should women be like this from the get-go? What if the guy still has to prove himself – should we still be accepting, respectful etc? What if the guy we’re seeing doesn’t show us that he’s worth our time – shouldn’t we just be clear with where he went wrong (bullet points, sock puppets, whatever men understand lol), and move on if he’s unable to provide what we need?
Last would be intensity. With a latin base of tensionem, (to stretch, struggle, contest) to me this means our energy will have a natural, (hopefully) sustainable tension, a key to battling eventual boredom.
Dr. Pat Allen continues to note that humans have more white in their eyes than any other species, mainly since we use our eyes more for communication. In any event, play up that optic communicator, and pick an eyeliner that accentuates your lovely gaze.
Who are you? How would you define yourself? We are who we are because of our socioeconomic status, the people around us, and other influences we’ve had in our lifetime. A lucky few may have had the opportunity to be influenced by the perfect examples, while most of us have to change to become better individuals. Or worse, we never get to become better individuals or achieve the full potential that’s within us because we’re convinced we’re all perfect already. [Read: 25 life-changing lessons you need to learn to perfect your life]
Although it was a bit more than just a smile, the men who attracted the attention of women did show some similar behaviors. First, like the women, these men also made more eye contact. In addition, though, they also showed more powerful and dominant body language. They took up space, moved around, and touched other men in playful and leading (non-sexual) ways. Essentially, the guys who looked at the women, joked around with other men, and were comfortable in their own space, got the women’s attention.