I agree with this article he makes good points and I can work on some things but overall I do a good job of this naturally and i find the stereotypes mentioned to be pretty much all true who cares what he points out if it’s pretty much true,… don’t hate on the author for speaking the truth! I agree with all the men’s comments on here too , and what I like most is that a MAN wrote this ….that validates this article …women on here who were angry : why are u so mad at what men want ? One guy commented why try to change science …so true !
On the other hand, that type of man is not entirely “worthless for everyone”. A woman of equal value may indeed like that type of male. Or, more specifically, they might be a balanced match for her (i.e. the best she can get herself). Again, that is why an honest self-assessment is necessary. Just as not all men can get a brilliant beauty, not all women can catch the eye of a well-muscled, CEO.
This article is perfect…evn i m an Asian girl and i am naturally feminine……..that cutness,shyness,kindness,coyness is in build in me and for which i am loved by many. Evn though i am not in relationship but i am in search for a manly boy……and for those girls who are disagreeing let me tell u either you are frustated by yourself or jealous of other that you don’t have that femininty……bcoz this is wat the boys love the most
The longer a man stays long-term, the more in touch with his emotional side he may get. The Kinsey Institute recently conducted an international survey of more than 1,000 middle-age couples who had, on average, been together 25 years. The researchers measured each partner’s relationship and sexual satisfaction on a number of variables. Some of the findings were obvious—sexual functioning, for instance, was strongly related to male sexual satisfaction—but others were highly unexpected.
One of those very first steps of courtship, dating, and mating is getting noticed by a potential lover. Sometimes, however, those first steps are the most difficult. How do you get that hot guy at the bar to come over and say hello? How do you get the cute gal at the coffee shop to smile and chat? Many people struggle with those questions – and miss potential romance as a result.
Plus, nothing makes a man feel worse than to feel stuck in a problem he just can’t solve so if you’re unhappy too often, at some level, he’s failed and he will try to distance himself from feeling like a failure. By contrast, nothing makes a man feel successful like you when you are happy — which is why a positive, happy and radiant woman is so appealing.
For me personally, I like it when a woman puts in effort to do makeup that enhances how she already looks but does not pile on the foundation and then add a bunch of different powders and whatnot to it.
i also totally agree with that article. This person totally understands us men and i just have to say to all the girls here who disagree is that you don´t have to accept the fact that you have to behave different from usual but they should accept the fact that that´s how men are. We just like these kind of girls and even though i don´t hate girls who are self confident i wouldn´t want to date a girl who isn´t the least bit feminin. It´s the same for girls. Girls also have tipical imaginations of how a boy should be and we boys just have to accept this fact wether we like it or not. I just think it´s funny that the girls on this site don´t want to accept it but on the contrary won´t accept a boy for what he is.
Once you identify what kind of Man/fish you are looking for you need to figure out where that type tends to hang out. The good news is that men, like fish tend to have predictable habits and tend to congregate in the same, predictable locations.
If you’re asking yourself ‘Well, how do I attract men?’ all the time, that’s a sign of insecurity as well. When a woman walks and talks with confidence, men are attracted instantly. A woman that is confident knows what she is comfortable with, and will strive towards making other people feel good about themselves. She isn’t focused on making herself look amazing, while at the same time undermining her partner. She also takes the first step, if her partner is hesitant. And if you’re insecure about something, believe that a man can smell it from the distance. He can see it in your eyes, your gestures, and your voice. So lose the inhibitions and be confident in yourself and your achievements, and the way you’re going to do this is by always keeping in mind the positive and good things you have in your life.
Women need not move to Mpolweni to find such flexibility in action. Even among developed societies, shape preferences vary sharply. In countries like Britain or Denmark, where women have achieved social and economic independence, a low waist-to-hip ratio is less important to men than it is in places where women rely more heavily on men for resource acquisition, such as Greece or Portugal, Swami and other researchers find. The more resources a woman can gather on her own, the less men care whether or not her figure conforms to the supposed ideal.
You don’t have to pretend to be dumb or weak, nor do you have to behave like the weaker sex just to attract a man. All you need to do is revel in your femininity and display your cuteness, and give the man you like a chance to bask in his manliness and show off his protectiveness!
It turns out that men and women want the same thing: a lasting, meaningful relationship. Matthew says that finding “the guy” isn’t just about finding “a guy.” It’s about creating a life with someone who engages you at every level. In Get the Guy, Matthew shows you how to be proactive in your love life so that you can meet, talk to, and win over the guy who’s right for you—without playing games.
The first step is to change our undesirable habits. We do this by reminding ourselves that we are being noticed, even if for a split second. Frankly, it matters that we emit a positive and interesting vibe. By developing an aura of natural confidence we are also more likely to weed out undesirable men. How so?
Take the first step. If you are comfortable with the girl, and you feel that you can trust her, help her to be able to trust you. Before you do this next step, make sure that she has confided in you a few things about herself. Once this is done, set a date. Don’t be too forward. If she has done what was previously been stated, you will not be rejected.
If you like a trait about a friend, be it her spontaneity, her courage, her carefree attitude, her posture, or the way she dresses up, your mind may subconsciously like that trait because you want to see that trait in yourself. A change of this kind is good, where you see something you like and want to see that in yourself. [Read: Why inner beauty is far more important than outer beauty]
“The reason a woman gets hooked on one man is not because he is just sexy, or just playful, or just certain, or just masculine, or just bursting with integrity, but because he possesses a unique combination of traits: the man who is warm, has integrity, and can charm her family, then rips her clothes off in the bedroom and is a sexual god who’s willing to invest all the time she needs in foreplay; the man who is respectful with her friends, can fix things around the house and in the garage like a pro, but knows how to enjoy a lazy Sunday at the museum or craft fair; the guy who is independent, kicks ass out in the world, but is gentle and loving with his woman and lavishes attention on her. Men like this cause an alarm to go off inside a woman’s head and heart. He’s just a character in a romance novel, she thinks. Be more realistic!”
But yeah, I agree — drop your hobbies. Go out to some bars/taverns after work once in a while, and sip on some super-light beer. Be more social in your work environment connect with others there, too.
A friend and I were talking this morning. He’d set up a date a couple weeks back and I was curious about where they were going but he told me, “It’s going to be tomorrow night instead. She texted me a reschedule.”
I’m in an interesting situation: I have a boyfriend who lives across state lines. Long distance relationships are hard and I often wonder if it’s worth it. My BF is great, but for various reasons, the situation isn’t going to resolve itself very soon.
A man wants a woman who just “gets” him. He wants her radiance and femininity to draw him in the way his masculine energy attracts her. He wants a woman who appreciates his ability to protect, provide and solve problems. He wants her to admire him for his steadiness and sense of calm under pressure. He doesn’t want to feel emasculated because he’s way more logical and analytical and doesn’t (necessarily) cry at sappy movies.
My children’s father and myself broke up 8 years ago and we have recently rekindled our love, however I am also dealing with the fact that he has another child which is pretty much why we broke up in the first place, I will admit him and I were 20 when we met and we hadn’t yet grown up I’ve learned alot through the years him and I were apart, I never thought we would ever feel anything for one another again, but we do…. I love that man so much but it’s very difficult for me to see him dealing with his other child’s mothe, I feel as though he’s hiding me from her because she doesn’t know about us, I want this man to be my husband when the time is right, sometimes I get confused and I wonder if he loves me the same, I know he does but I wonder how much! I’m trying to get the ring, I’ve been dealing with him for 10 years and I want him to pop the question! ??????? I don’t want to waste my time, what do u suggest??? My mind is beginning to wonder and I’m sensing myself going into survival mode, I don’t want to be that way even though he hurt me years ago, I want to keep the past behind and focus on getting my ring and the future, hopefully he is included in what I’ve always wanted!
I completely agree with this article, 100 percent! I saw this on a page that was linked in a forum where a girl was bitching and moaning about how screwed up men are. But hey, don’t you get it? This is what men want. And this is what men find irresistible! Men want to be like men, and there’s nothing wrong with women displaying their femininity.
He’s the one that needs to understand how he made you feel by cheating on you and if he wants to keep you, then he needs to understand it will take time before you trust him again and he should do everything he can to put your mind at ease and show you through his actions that it won’t happen again.
Don’t change anything. You’re now in the honeymoon period, where you have some time to get used to each other. This is the time that you do the cute things of the relationship. Come up with a song together that you can label as “Our song.” Some great ones can be “I could not ask for more” by Edwin McCain, “Something Coming Over”, by O.A.R., “Breathing”, by Lifehouse, “Amazed”, by Lonestar. These are only examples, you can choose yourself, this is just a guide for what you should look for. Also, if you have a band you both mutually are really into, try to choose a song by that band. Make sure to read the lyrics and understand the song before you pick though. Some songs can be deceiving with their meanings.
Therefore, I encourage you to continue to screen out such men who are “deficient” in attributes you desire – but only to the extent that you are truly of high value yourself. If you are willing and able to offer men high worth in feminine areas that they desire, then I see no reason why you should not ask the same in return. Attractive and accomplished individuals can afford to be choosy, as they are trading a lot in return. However, if you are simply asking for a lot from them, without having much to offer back, then you might be making the same mistake as the men you are rejecting online.
This is great! I know these in my head, but when I get around a guy I like everything flies out the window and I start acting desperate. Going to print this out and follow it with the guy i’m seeing now!!!
“It was interesting to see that it wasn’t all men who were conflating love with sex—it was just the short-term-oriented men,” says Ackerman. “There are different kinds of men and they mean different kinds of things when they’re communicating love.”
He’s the one that cheated. He should be doing everything he can to keep you, not the other way around. Empower yourself to stand tall with or without a man in your life. You WANT a man. You don’t NEED a man.
But cute changes everything. When a girl behaves in a cute and feminine manner, it brings out the protective instincts of a man. Instead of feeling threatened by a feminine girl, he feels protective about her. That makes him feel more masculine, and that’s something every guy loves to feel! [Read: Why men love a damsel in distress and feel more emotionally connected to them]
I have been crazy about this older guy that I work with for years.First as a subordinate, now as a colleague. We have finally had an intimate moment that he called “something significant” however, we have not had sex. Problem is, I’ve been flirting, listening and being supportive as a friend but inside I’m going crazy with wanting him. He has recently broken up with a girlfriend and I know he is not ready for another relationship…last thing I want is to be the rebound girl. He has admitted that he is physically attracted to me and we have spoken about being lovers…only problem is, I don’t just want him in my bed, I want to be in his heart as well. I feel like I’m deceiving him because I told him I’m okay with just being lovers and that I will not expect any more than that. But he holds my heart already and I am dying not being able to show him how I really feel about him. As much as I want him physically, I want him to love me back as much as I love him. This is such a mess because I know that if I was to say no to being intimate with him now, I am making a liar of myself. Any advise?
To understand cute behavior better, all you need is to interact with a couple of Japanese or Thai girls whose behavior isn’t influenced by us Americans. They’re not meek or silly, nor do they have to behave like stupid bimbos to win a guy’s affection. All they have to do is flaunt what sets them apart, and that’s their femininity and grace. [Read: 10 easy moves to appear a lot more graceful and feminine]
Men have an extremely difficult time dealing with their own feelings so when you make a man feel good, you allow him to access feelings he’s rarely able to express. It forces him to want to spend time with you on a deep level he’s rarely even consciously aware of.
You might even decide to pause, and turn here or there, just pivoting a bit… something unusual has caught your attention, or maybe you have to check the time or adjust your bracelets. In other words, you are providing your admirers with a quick snapshot—a moment in time for them to savor. You are providing him with a small mini-movie and leaving him with a memory he will not quickly forget. You will feel fairly confident that the next time he sees you, he will remember you, and he’ll do more than just watch you walk by. By this time, he is eager to introduce himself.
I’ll preface this by saying the few dating/relationship books I’ve flipped through or read descriptions for often come across as very condescending to women. This is especially true if meant to unveil the “male mind” and give it to us straight – the “ugly truth” type of stuff. They make women feel bad for being women. You come away from just one little paragraph feeling like men essentially don’t like women (beyond the physical). We’re told we need to be more feminine, but also think like men, less clingy, but not too independent – etc. Here is a book which focuses less on how women need to change their nature, needs, desires, etc, as if we’re hopelessly incompatible with men by nature, and instead it focuses on social skills & positive thinking modes for attracting & developing relationships with compatible men we actually like & who are worth OUR time & energy.
If you have trouble attracting men and getting a date, you may be unknowingly sending vibes that push men away. Men think differently than women, so you have to understand how the male psyche works …
Don’t be clingy. This means, don’t show that you love this person by being near them all the time. They need their space and they need to know that you don’t need to follow them everywhere they go. Most of all, they need to know that you have your own life.
I’m going to skip the obvious (she’s hot) because there’s nothing superficial millions of years of behavioral programming. The realm of women I find physically attractive is fairly spacious; but finding the combination of qualities that truly attract me in one woman, is rare.
Kindness: A kind woman is the most attractive woman in the room. Men love it if a woman is kind to the people who maybe from a lower rung of society. It is very attractive if the woman makes it a point to be extra nice to servers at the restaurant.
Always give a man his space when he needs it – never come between a man and his friends, family duties, or his favorite hobby like playing in a band, asking him to choose – he will ultimately resent you for it, even if he initially chooses you.
And it must be in keeping with my own perspective, because it all seems obvious and self evident to me. I don’t have a list of “must have traits”, I’d rather meet a guy, get to know him, and see how things shake out. It never works. It doesn’t matter if I meet him at work, through friends, in night class, or through a dating service, it always goes exactly the same. Either he’s married, or he decides I’m not good enough for him.
i THINK THAT it depends on situations ,i was before an easyging smiling ,positive woman,but Alot haVE HURT ME , AND I WILL BE NOT AS THE SAME AS BEFORE ANY MORE , I MUST FIRST ANALYSE THE PERSON AND THEN MAKE A DECISION IF I SHOULD TREAT HIM GOOD OR NOT
Practice the Golden Rule. If you want him to do something, you should be equally willing to do it yourself. You want him to ask you out or take you out or do whatever else for you? You should be equally willing, and don’t wait for or expect him to do it first. Good men respect a person who applies the same rules to themself that they would apply to a man.
One “striking” finding, to borrow the report’s own word, was a very strong connection between a man’s relationship satisfaction and his frequency of physical intimacy. Not physical intimacy as in sex, but physical intimacy as in kissing, cuddling, and general, not necessarily sexual, caressing. The odds of a man being happy in his relationship increased by a factor of three if he snuggled up regularly.
Am most grateful for the advice you have been giving. But pls most at times am not able to watch the videos you have been sending,I would love lt ,if possible it should also be written so that we that we can’t watch we can read. Please do that for me.
This is a great post. I have always noticed when I would go out with some of my friends how their behavior would change around men. I always tried to tell them to relax.I definitely agree about the not talking about your exes. Not only have I heard my friends do it, but I used to have this problem too. Great advice. Love the post. I am sharing this with all my girl friends.
When you realize that simple fact, you’ll understand why he’ll feel reluctant to just give it away, but don’t worry. The good news is he will trade his freedom for something better, so just be better and don’t try to force him into a decision too soon.
Men will not tolerate manipulation of any kind for any significant length of time. To attract a great man and build a wonderful relationship learn to ask without hesitation for what you want and need in every area of your life. Learn to be aware of his timing and his timeline. Learn how to acknowledge and bestow praise.
The predator model of love leads to a hunter’s way of dating: Seek large gatherings of your prey, dangle a false self as bait, wait for an individual to stray from the herd, then pounce on him with all the wit and wile it takes to bring him down. Internet matchmaking services, singles bars, speed dating, personal ads and even blind dating all borrow from this “statistical mass” logic. I’ve seen clients spend years dating this way, entering one briefly exciting, painfully doomed relationship after another. This is not a numbers game. It’s a soul search.
Respected relationship expert Dr. Pat Allen suggests using red lipstick, since our 4-legged primate ancestors once attracted their male counterparts with their swollen vulvas. Now that we are on 2 legs, parts are, well… quite hidden, so evolution has passed the mating magnet to another pair of exposed lips.
Enter your mobile number or email address below and we’ll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer – no Kindle device required.
If you find yourself ruminating on the past, focus on the crappy stuff. “Any time I started slipping into ‘oh-I-miss-him-I’m-so-sad’ mode, I’d remind myself of everything that annoyed me about him—sometimes I even wrote down a list,” says Jessica, 25, from Atlanta.
Women who are clear about how they feel: Men like women that display behavior that is equivalent to how they feel. Ex: If you’re angry about something, tell them the reason, they will do what they can to fix it. Do not act passive aggressive and hope that they find out the reason.
What’s interesting is not just that most people aren’t in touch with their desires, but that simultaneously, most of us think we ARE. We get ideas about what we want from media, our friends, our past experiences. And we piece together some image of what we want that is usually pretty generic.