I’m going to skip the obvious (she’s hot) because there’s nothing superficial millions of years of behavioral programming. The realm of women I find physically attractive is fairly spacious; but finding the combination of qualities that truly attract me in one woman, is rare.
If there is one area I see women mess up time and again, it’s in trying to define a relationship or tie a man down too soon. That’s because her need to feel “safe” is in direct contrast to his innate desire for freedom and not being tied down. If you think about it, every soldier anywhere who has ever been killed in action has died trying to defend their idea of freedom.
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A quality man has no interest in a woman who slouches. He regards her as lazy, and if there is one thing men hate, it’s a lazy woman. It makes sense. Are you attracted to lazy men? Basically, if a man sees a woman whose body language seems to indicate that she doesn’t care about herself, he will be turned off within 2 seconds or less. So straighten those shoulders ladies; he is noticing more about you than you may realize. Again, it is imperative that you make those first seconds count in your favor.
Aw, men… try as they may to figure out the feminine psyche, they just can’t seem to pull it together. But hey, women are no Einsteins when it comes to figuring men out, either. That’s why books of the Mars and Venus persuasion are such top sellers.
Go to LGBTQ events and mingle with people. Attending LGBTQ events is a great way to support a cause that you’re passionate about and will give you the ability to meet eligible singles. Choose an event or cause that you can support, and go with a positive mindset to meet new friends and to have fun. Make it a point to get out there and talk to people. If you see someone you’re interested in, go up to them and start a conversation.
Arching your back reflects lordosis behavior (basically sticking your butt out), which almost every female mammal exhibits during estrus. Estrus is the sign that all our male mammalian cousins are waiting for: the female has approved of their mating dance and is sexually receptive (i.e., in heat). So think of all that DNA history pumping through the guy in aisle 3 when he sees you “stretch out” before you reach for the Rice Krispies.
Fly on the Wall, you are welcome to pay for everyone’s bill. You can pay for mine!! I treat my friends very well, I am just particular about what I want and as a woman, I have the right to determine that.
Time and chance can change a man’s physical ideals as much as place. One research team recently compared the measurements of Playboy Playmates of the Year from 1960 to 2000 to economic conditions in the United States over the same period and found that tougher times called for larger playmates. A 2005 study in Psychological Science reported that men who were manipulated to feel either hungry or poor preferred heavier female figures—a sign that, according to the researchers, resource availability can “influence preferences for potential mates” even among Western males in a wealthy culture. In other words, we can live in New York but possess a Zulu state of mind.
Follow the Golden Rule. That means apply the same rules to yourself that you’d apply to others, including him. Real men do in fact notice this; they just don’t scream it out. For example, if he tells you he has a girlfriend and things are not working out, Stop! and think ladies and gentlemen that this could be a “test” on how you would handle the situation, so stand your ground and cut off communication (hint: “Golden Rule”). Second example: if you do want to try finding his ticklish spots, then don’t complain one bit if he tries finding yours in return. Don’t go on about how you “don’t NEED no man!” or about “men this, men that” if you don’t want him treating you the same way. DO, on the other hand, treat him–and others–with respect, dignity, and honor. Others will notice, too, and who knows–if they know you want a good, real man but don’t yet have one, they just might introduce you to one!
Control is really the key here: control of yourself and your reactions to others may sound simple, but it’s very difficult to master. Having high self-esteem and confidence – without over-stepping into arrogance! – is a very attractive trait to any man.
You are welcome, Sam. I will only add that I have had no objection to moving out of the way, from time to time, but it is always nice if the man moves. In addition, my office building has 22 floors. It is customary for the men to allow the women to enter and exit from the elevator before they do. It is just one of those very nice pleasantries which I appreciate very much. Often, I will murmur a quick, “Thank You” to the man or men.
Getting a nice, reliable and trustworthy man for a relationship is something that every woman dreams of. However, sometimes this dream can be easy or hard to achieve depending on many factors. Some factors can be within your control and others outside your control. But experience has shown that either way, there is a way of getting Mr. Right.
Those are essentially your two choices though… Learn to see when your emotions are misleading you and use logic. OR, find someone who is both more suited to be a relationship partner and can trigger those emotions in you.
First, like I said before – he starts to bond with you. He notices that you’re really listening to him and that you’re engaging with him about things that he cares about – and that draws him closer to you.
You don’t have to change yourself just to attract men, but change yourself to become a better you. Have you ever walked into a room full of attractive women, and found yourself thinking that a few of those girls were better than you in some way? When you meet a woman and find yourself in awe of her for any reason at all, it only means you admire and want some particular trait of hers that you lack yourself.
If you want to get a guy, then you need to give him a clear invitation. I know he seems big, burly, and scary. But, he is actually looking to you for a “green light” to come over and say hello. Some eye contact and a smile will do that. So, if you want him to approach, lock eyes and give him a grin.
Be intelligent, but not a know-it-all. Men like women who have it together and who won’t embarrass them in a conversation; they like women who know something about a lot of different things. It doesn’t have to be politics and sports, it just has to be something you are passionate about and truly understand. And they hate know-it-alls; drop that quality immediately.
Women are the prime target of marketers, social media and politicians. They had managed to manipulate women’s thoughts bombarding them with the “how to” messages: how to dress to impress, how to walk and talk, how to acquire the ideal body shape, even how to express themselves.
In his book, Get the Guy, Matthew Hussey—Cosmopolitan columnist, Today show dating expert, motivational speaker, relationship guru, and matchmaker—reveals the secrets of the male mind and the fundamentals of dating and mating for a proven, revolutionary approach to help women to find lasting love.
Women who are clear about how they feel: Men like women that display behavior that is equivalent to how they feel. Ex: If you’re angry about something, tell them the reason, they will do what they can to fix it. Do not act passive aggressive and hope that they find out the reason.
Both of these biases lead to bad dating. Either the dater expects to fail, or they expect the other person to be awful. Neither of these biases allows them to truly “see” a good partner – or have the motivation to get them. So, such a biased individual either “settles for less” or stays alone and grumpy.
Though I agree with Serena over the article. I will say… we as Americans are failing to appreciate our gender differences. Just read an article which may or may not be true that American men have 40% average less testosterone than 50 years ago.
Another way to practice excellent body language is to have awareness of your hands. Are they relaxed, or are they clenched? Tense hands indicate a closed, stubborn, or unhappy personality. Women who seem inflexible make men crazy, and not in a good way. However, if your palms are open and your wrists exposed, this small thing projects a more welcoming aura. In other words, an aura of calmness draws men toward you. Women too, are attracted to men who are relaxed and have who an easy way about them. In fact, everyone is drawn to people whose body language is quietly confident, reassuring and warm.
“It was interesting to see that it wasn’t all men who were conflating love with sex—it was just the short-term-oriented men,” says Ackerman. “There are different kinds of men and they mean different kinds of things when they’re communicating love.”
Who can listen: At the end of the day, men are human, and are social beings. We have our own insecurites, fears and thoughts. We need someone to lend us a ear, Pat on our back and say everything is going to be alright. We need someone who will listen to what we have to say, rather than who would keep on bitching or gossiping or talking about some stupid reality show.
Sometimes in relationships, we can get blinded by the good parts. But what about the not-so-good parts? If your significant other fits any of these descriptions, it might be time to reevaluate the relationship.
Jack – My my, Kissinger and Latin in a short blurb about how women attract you? I’m in awe. Latin is badass, and I’m unashamed of the fact that I think that Kissinger is a stud. Eloquent and swoon-worthy, as always (you, not Kissinger… OK, well maybe both of you…). How do you not have droves of unconscious women at your feet wherever you walk?
10. Your Own Home. Throwing parties is one of the best ways to get yourself into the dating scene. Even if you don’t meet an eligible bachelor at your own shindig, becoming the hostess with the mostest will naturally get you reciprocally invited to barbecues, wine-tastings, poetry readings, etc. And if a friend does bring along a handsome stranger to your next house party, you have ample reasons to chat him up. After all, he’ll need you to take his coat, fetch him a drink, and tell you where he’s been all your life.
Insecure men do not like engaging with women who actually like themselves. In a way, this is a good thing—you won’t have to bother with such men because your self confidence will threaten him. Thus, he will fade away into the background, where he belongs. Therefore, it is worthwhile to do some self-tweaking and fine tuning by noticing our habits, whether bad or good, so that we can pare down our habits to those which only give impressions that always work in our favor. The vibes you give out are crucial if your are to pique the interest of a quality man.
Finally, always look polished. Wear that bright nail polish on your toes – maybe a luminous hot pink, a blazing orange, or a bright torquoise. Put on those beautiful bracelets that give off a pleasant sound when you gesture with your hands. I’m serious… men ache for these little touches of femininity.
The study of male sexuality really should have ended in 1989. That year psychologists Russell Clark and Elaine Hatfield reported the results of a social experiment conducted on the campus of Florida State University. For the study they recruited young women to approach male students at random and have a brief conversation. Average-looking women, mind you—”moderately attractive,” even “slightly unattractive”—in casual clothes. No supermodels; no stilettos; no bare midriffs. It was important that the young man remain coherent. The ladies all told their guy they’d seen him around campus. They said they found him very attractive. Then some asked their man on a date. Some asked him to come over that night. And some asked him, point blank, to go to bed.
You probably don’t realize it, but your advice here is the same as a toothpaste ad which has been running on tee-vee recently. It shows a youngish woman by herself at some beach-side patio cafe who spots a guy there she wants to meet. It shows her passively sitting there with her Cinderella Complex looking all wistful/dreamy, and with a vague smile on her face, while the voice-over says “First, you’ve got to get him to say Hello”.
Having been married for the best part of two decades – I now find myself single again at the age of 46. After a bad internet dating experience, I decided to visit the London School of Attraction for some tips. My big take-away from it was that women need to approach to men and not just wait to be discovered.
My friend Marla used to believe that meeting a man was as easy as following her bliss. After she and her long-term boyfriend broke up, Marla decided to pursue the interests she had neglected when she was in a relationship. She took acting lessons, joined a book club, and became devoted to yoga.
I’ve been looking into things to keep my marriage solid, and I figured I should keep him attracted to me. I ended up here. You reminded me of just how important confidence is! He used to tell me all the time when we started dating how much he loved my confidence. Love these tips! 🙂
Jeffrey Platts – Consider me as a new addition to your fan club. Your list made me rethink my image. Heaps of thanks for the insights! Particularly the one about body language. I’m a notorious arm-crosser and inadvertent non-smiler.
Fidelity is an absolute must. In fact, men want a woman who does not have a “roaming eye” and who can wholeheartedly commit to the relationship. Many may define commitment as fidelity plus the willingness to work on the relationship — even when the going gets tough. Women think that all men want is sex, and that men will leave a relationship for the next prettier face. Women think men cannot be trusted to be faithful. Women believe men do not want to work on a relationship, and that when the going gets tough, they run.
Is she, or does she look, bossy? – I once went on a dinner date with a zealous vegetarian called Judith. When I ordered a fillet steak she told the waiter to come back in a few minutes. ”Do you mind having something without meat?” she asked me. ”I beg your pardon?” ”It’s just – I couldn’t stand watching you eat a steak.” ”Er, right – so what should I have then?” ”How about spinach lasagne?” A short while later the waiter returned and I chivalrously changed my order. To a mixed grill. Judith and I spent the next hour in near silence before going our separate ways.
It also makes him feel a much deeper connection to you. If you put in the time to find out why he’s so passionate about his favorite subject, he’ll feel like you get him as a person, on a deep deep level.
Men want to be with a woman who needs them on more than just a superficial level. A man wants to feel like he’s your hero and your protector. If he feels he offers nothing to the relationship that you couldn’t have on your own, then he will leave.
You may already be aware of a number of these, but it doesn’t hurt to be reminded of them! Firstly, when you’re out with your friends do not laugh excessively at every joke men make, dance too sexily or get too drunk!
Change something—anything! Wear glasses? Try contacts. Addicted to your flatiron? Go au naturel. Never worn orange? Hello, tangerine dress! Whatever you do—no matter how big or small—should make you feel renewed and different and boost your confidence.
This is difficult though… So, you can always give your male friend my website too. There are many tips in my archives and many more to come, which can help him make you feel passion for him. Therefore, you can feel passion for the more local choice and win all the way around.
Only problem is, we’re on Earth. What the research revealed to those on this planet is that within the male gender the question is far from settled. Envisioning a mate having acrobatic sex with a stranger made only about a quarter of Dutch and German men more upset than picturing her in love with the fellow, and about half of Americans responded the same way.
Your Long Distance (LD) Boyfriend — what if you found out for many months he was going out with a female “friend”, 1-on-1 who was all into him and he during all this, he loved her? It’s not even a technicality — it’s flat-out cheating!
In truth, such a belief in destiny and a perfect soul mate partner often leads people to be overly picky, reject good partners, and end up unlucky in love (Knee, 1998; Knee, Vietor, & Neighbors, 2004). They can also be passive in their search for love, simply taking whoever comes into their lives and makes them feel attraction. In the end, they can have little control over the love in their lives, may make a lot of bad choices from being swept away by emotion, and then get repeatedly disappointed when their lovers are not the perfect soul mate after all.
Therefore, I encourage you to continue to screen out such men who are “deficient” in attributes you desire – but only to the extent that you are truly of high value yourself. If you are willing and able to offer men high worth in feminine areas that they desire, then I see no reason why you should not ask the same in return. Attractive and accomplished individuals can afford to be choosy, as they are trading a lot in return. However, if you are simply asking for a lot from them, without having much to offer back, then you might be making the same mistake as the men you are rejecting online.
A good relationship is like a dance. It requires two people giving their all and learning the steps to work with each other so they don’t crush a lot of toes. And like a good dance, there are steps you can take in your relationship to help make it flow smoothly, and keep you from stepping all over your partner by accident.
Omg! omg! Can’t believe this! Evrythng worked on the first time itself! He was away for the weekend with his buddies n I was all alone! I gave him his space n happily talked to him when he returned, dressed cute for the evening n he’s dying to spend the next weekend with me! Never ever happened in 3 yrs! Thanks a ton!
Henson is coming off the action pic “Proud Mary” and can be seen next as the lead in Lionsgate’s “Acrimony.” She is repped by UTA, Vincent Cirrincione and Meyer & Downs. Packer is repped by CAA and Ziffren Brittenham.