What’s the most attractive way to focus on pleasure? Focus on both your pleasure and his. Make your own pleasure a priority without ignoring the fact that you want him to feel satisfied at the same time.
“Matthew is a genius whose magic needs to be shared with the world. His incredible understanding of love and relationships makes him the absolute best love guru! This book is a necessary tool for anyone looking for love.” (Eva Longoria, actor/producer)
Something I’ve learned, which I think is true for both men and women, is that there are two sides of attraction. The obvious, conventional attraction is that one has towards the masculinity/feminity of the opposite sex. However, the full spectrum of attraction & sexual/romantic fulfillment relates to ones own “self attraction” to their masculine/feminine sexual energies and how their partner brings those out. I’ve found that when it comes to turning a girl on, often it is equally important for me to make her feel beautiful, sexy, and seductive as it is for me to put effort into being the source of her attraction. Partly through compliments, but moreso through body queues that let her feed off my passion & attraction for her beauty & femininity, which stimulates her attraction towards her own sexuality. Both women & men are almost equally attracted to their own masculine/feminine sexual energies as they are to the opposite sexes. The naive may say, “A man being attracted to masculinity? That’s gay!”, but there’s a large difference between a man wanting to form a relationship & have sex with other men than being attracted to the way a woman makes him feel about his own masculinity & sexuality. Hence, why many enjoy having sex in a mirror or watching themselves on a porno vs having eyes on your partner alone.
Be a woman with interesting things going on. Men love a woman who has her own life with fun and different things happening. No man wants a girl who is always sitting at home waiting for him or a woman who needs him to provide 100 percent of the fun.
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Fishy – Oh, Fish. Even though I’m on your reserves list for marriage, I’m determined to use this confession of your turn-ons/turn-offs to move my way up that list. Don’t underestimate me. I’m a determined minx with cycling thighs.
Be approachable to them — don’t make them think you like them. Take it easy and flirt a little. Or even maybe ask if he’s interested in boys. If he says no, move on. If he says yes, maybe even ask him on a date or kiss him.
Don’t be the bad guy. Girls, as much as you don’t believe it, like the guy who listens to them more than the tough guy. Yes, they want to feel protected physically, but nothing beats being emotionally protected. This is very important.
But some things have changed. One re-creation of the classic study, which was conducted by an international group of researchers and published in Human Nature, found that men are much more likely to date a woman than they had been in 1989. Although the updated study was conducted on paper, not in person, it included a larger and more diverse population of men, and it varied the attractiveness of the sex solicitor. More men were willing to date a “slightly unattractive” woman than were willing to sleep with an “exceptionally attractive” woman, 87 percent to about 82.
I always had a hard time figuring out what motivates a man to approach and hang around (besides a woman’s “hotness”, but I think there is more going on)…do we send out the wrong signals and not even know it? So, I’m pleased to share with you some expert thoughts on the subject…I knew I’d get some interesting feedback, and they did not disappoint.
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I always wonder why some women walk down the pathway the wrong side (in the office or elsewhere, I notice that behaviour mostly from women), should a gentleman get out of her path Or make her move over to the other side? What do women think of men who let them have their way and those that don’t move over to accommodate them?
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what “healthy living” means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
I’m sorry to hear your boyfriend cheated on you. I hope it’s a one time thing, that he’s truly sorry, and it never happens again. Unfortunately, people who cheat often cheat again. Of course there are plenty of exceptions to that rule and I hope your boyfriend is one of them.
Jack – My my, Kissinger and Latin in a short blurb about how women attract you? I’m in awe. Latin is badass, and I’m unashamed of the fact that I think that Kissinger is a stud. Eloquent and swoon-worthy, as always (you, not Kissinger… OK, well maybe both of you…). How do you not have droves of unconscious women at your feet wherever you walk?
“Men seemed to have a heightened sense of the precariousness of the male gender role,” says University of South Florida psychologist Jennifer Bosson, the paper’s lead author. “We haven’t found many men willing to admit that my manhood is often in question, but when you ask men in general if manhood is something that’s easy to lose and hard to attain, they agree that’s the case.” Or, as the Kinsey Institute’s Julia Heiman puts it: “Heterosexual men have a little trouble saying they really like kissing and cuddling.”
Go to LGBTQ events and mingle with people. Attending LGBTQ events is a great way to support a cause that you’re passionate about and will give you the ability to meet eligible singles. Choose an event or cause that you can support, and go with a positive mindset to meet new friends and to have fun. Make it a point to get out there and talk to people. If you see someone you’re interested in, go up to them and start a conversation.
Some people keep dating the wrong kind of guy or gal because they fall for the scarcity trap. They keep chasing what they cannot have. Sometimes this is an ego thing (“I’m going to show him how good I am!”). Other times, it is a low self-esteem thing (“what do I have to do to get her to love me?”). In either case, however, they mistake this partner’s disinterest and scarcity for actual value.
Once you have mastered all these steps, you will know exactly what attracts men to women scientifically, although we’re not going to get too deep into science. We have tried them out for you, and these really work! So start working on your smile and confidence, relax and get ready to woo a guy with your natural charm! It’s all it takes. And no matter what you read or hear out there, you don’t have to be a successful, independent business woman to be attractive to men. Just be yourself, and let your personality shine through!
1) Online Dating – whether you are for online dating or against it there is no denying that it everyone is doing it. In fact, the latest research reveals that of the 54 Million singles in the US, approximately 40 million have tried or are currently using online dating.
What women think men want from them often causes women to have resentment and anger toward men, and feel hopeless about ever developing a wonderful, warm, romantic partnership. What men think women want from them often causes them much of the same feelings and frustration. The sad part is that it does not have to be this way, if only we would realize that both men and women are human beings first and pretty much want the same thing. But, you don’t have to take my word for this. I asked a number of men and women who are actively involved in personal growth and development what they want from a partner in order to build a great relationship. You will find their answers unexpected.
Those are essentially your two choices though… Learn to see when your emotions are misleading you and use logic. OR, find someone who is both more suited to be a relationship partner and can trigger those emotions in you.
Male stereotypes fail to take into account the importance of what might be called a commitment continuum. At one end are married men, at the other are gigolos, with all shades of monogamous and polygamous moderation in between. The oversight helps perpetuate misunderstandings of what men want.
Talk about how you do not want to rush her and you do not want to make her feel uncomfortable in any way. Tell her that you will wait until she is ready, even if it means waiting years. She’ll appreciate these words.
However, some people don’t pick such balanced relationships. Some repeatedly sell themselves short, giving way more than they get. In the end, these people often feel cheated, unappreciated, and used. Others repeatedly over-estimate their worth, asking for too much. They too end up feeling frustrated, when no one will meet their unrealistic expectations. Thus, both under-valuing and over-valuing one’s self leads to repeated problems in love.
Northwestern University psychologists Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel recently arranged a speed-dating event for 163 university guys and gals and had them indicate beforehand what they wanted in a mate: attractiveness, earning potential, or personality qualities. The men—no surprise—overwhelmingly said they wanted looks. But when they got to the table something changed. Eastwick and Finkel discovered that pre-event ideals failed to predict a person’s true romantic interests.