I’ll do anything to make my wife/girlfriend happy, and in return I want to be loved. This is not a deal! This is what I call connection (mutual or whatever!) For a man having romance, being appreciated, being respected, … means nothing if he doesn’t feel to be loved.
Therefore, I encourage you to continue to screen out such men who are “deficient” in attributes you desire – but only to the extent that you are truly of high value yourself. If you are willing and able to offer men high worth in feminine areas that they desire, then I see no reason why you should not ask the same in return. Attractive and accomplished individuals can afford to be choosy, as they are trading a lot in return. However, if you are simply asking for a lot from them, without having much to offer back, then you might be making the same mistake as the men you are rejecting online.
More often than we know, some of our habits are encouraging his indifference rather than his interest. So, before we begin, first know that we all do certain things unconsciously. Sometimes our mannerisms and ways of being act against us. Consequently, you must ask yourself, “What is it that I might be doing unknowingly to keep men at bay?”
I actually AM one of those cute and feminine girls. I ‘ve always been. Here’s some personal experiences for y’all: I once dated a guy with not so much testosterone (he was a skinny guy who was a complete NERD). It sucked, we had nothing to connect to, and he eventually dumped me for a more “dominant” girl. Now, I have a guy who is LOADED with testosterone (and he’s attractive), who likes me. Whenever I get cold, he offers his jacket. When I’m scared or upset, he does everything in his power to make me happy. People say he’s fallen quite hard for me, and I don’t blame him!
Hi Sam…So glad you liked the article. Flipping the hair, in conjunction with smiling and eye contact may indicate mild flirting. But hair flipping alone does not indicate interest. Some women are overly obsessed with appearance, and as such, may have developed the hair flipping thing as a nervous habit. Long story short, it depends upon the rest of her body language.
You may already be aware of a number of these, but it doesn’t hurt to be reminded of them! Firstly, when you’re out with your friends do not laugh excessively at every joke men make, dance too sexily or get too drunk!
Do nice things for them. Think about their desires and what makes them happy, and go out of your way to do it for them. This could be a day at the spa, a new pair of shoes, or a note that you leave for him at his house. Think of what he would like and do it. Small things will add up over time and will help you create a mutual appreciation for one another.
I’m a male in my 30’s working 50-60 hours a week. With that, the gym, and some personal hobbies(mostly not social) I can sink 80 hours and not think of it. Obviously this is not going to work, and excuses are excuses…I have to plan.
But men of the long-term persuasion were as happy to hear the words after sex as women were; when they said “I love you,” they meant what women meant. Mark Twain once said the difference between the right and wrong word is the difference between lightning and lightning bug; the difference between the right and wrong commitment context appears to be the difference between love and lover.
This is sexist. It’s generalising feminists aswell as women and men in general. People have preferences, people should using biology as an excuse to pidgeon hole. Women should be and wear whatever they want to. To all the men saying women should dress a certain way to suit you I say that maybe you need to broaden your perception on what you consider attractive, everyone should. It is the media that tells you what is attractive, preferences are okay but it is not okay to throw around insults because people do not fit your narrow standards of beauty.
► Independence: An independent person is attractive because there is no love lost when each of them have to do their own stuff. There is no compulsion to do everything together. There is no need for constant pampering. A relationship is a team work. Each needs to know how to do their own work independently in order to play.
You probably don’t realize it, but your advice here is the same as a toothpaste ad which has been running on tee-vee recently. It shows a youngish woman by herself at some beach-side patio cafe who spots a guy there she wants to meet. It shows her passively sitting there with her Cinderella Complex looking all wistful/dreamy, and with a vague smile on her face, while the voice-over says “First, you’ve got to get him to say Hello”.
I know that the simple answer to my situation would be to just ‘get a life’ bt even that does not stopped me from obssessing about my boyfriend, i would be out having fun but the minute i walk into my door i call him up, its pathetic.
It is not easy for people to find a good man, and to be honest it is not easy for a man to find a good person. This is written from a man’s perspective to help frustrated people that are sincerely looking for a good man but keep finding losers.
Another offensive stereotype: “To a typical feminist, behaving in a demure or coy manner is a sign of weakness. And they can’t accept that a guy finds a cute *and dare, we say it… submissive* girl more attractive than a girl who likes to be a non-girlie girl.”
Great advice. For me the problem is posture. I have poor posture because I have been sick most of the winter and lost a lot of muscle. I am going to have to figure out which exercises will fix my posture!
Since the advent of eHarmony, OKCupid, and other dating services, more and more people are taking the plunge and creating an online dating profile. However, not all profiles are created equal–some companies and individuals use them to promote themselves and get ahead in some way. We gathered our best tips for spotting a fake from the start.
He simply wants you to appreciate that he works hard to take care of you even if he can’t give you everything he’d like. That’s really not a lot to ask. So if you want a guy to see the very best in you and fall hopelessly in love, the one thing you can’t do is take him for granted or disrespect his efforts.
It would be extremely difficult to find a man who does not find this to be an insane turn on. I won’t really go into this further but I think what I said speaks for itself. Do it in the way that feels comfortable for you and only if it feels comfortable.
My friend Marla used to believe that meeting a man was as easy as following her bliss. After she and her long-term boyfriend broke up, Marla decided to pursue the interests she had neglected when she was in a relationship. She took acting lessons, joined a book club, and became devoted to yoga.
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A downside: the book directs you to online videos for more “secrets” which are really just teasers which lead you to another video they want you to pay for. I can see this as being an endless goose chase designed to keep you hooked & shelling out money while learning very little. I’d have more respect for the author & brand if they took a less scam-like approach. The video they want you to buy has a long intro to sell it which does the classic “play on women’s insecurities & promise grand secrets to solve all of their romance problems in a matter of days” approach, one which many dating gurus do. I find it borderline insulting & I naturally expect it to under-deliver with super obvious “insight” repeated ad nauseam just as the rest seem to. This approach is unfortunate & detracts from a brand that has the potential to be more positive & actually useful, as opposed to the insulting junk I described at the outset.
There are guys putting this stuff in books and making lots of money, but their books are not nearly as entertaining nor do they have the ring of truth that you have managed to convey. As an older woman back in the dating scene, all I can say is thanks!!!
As I say in point 5 of the article, the best relationships are a trade among individuals of relatively equal value. So, the men who are looking for a valuable female, without being a valuable male, are indeed asking too much and giving too little. That may fool some people in the short-term, but it is not a successful strategy to find a satisfying relationship.
This is difficult though… So, you can always give your male friend my website too. There are many tips in my archives and many more to come, which can help him make you feel passion for him. Therefore, you can feel passion for the more local choice and win all the way around.
Response: What good is accepting something that is a failure? How effective is bringing out the best in something that is a failure? No one is perfect nor can someone be perfect. Listen, turn him into what you want him to be, but, do it right. The process won’t always work because some people are to ignorant to believe that they should be better for you, but if they are willing, then it is possible. The thing is you aren’t perfect either, but relationships are all about two individuals benefiting each other. This means that you both are going to mold each other, although, one may be making more of an impact than the other.