I really like the point about being self-aware. Pick the top 3 qualities that are important and allow that the rest may not match as well. I think if we move away from mentality of judging “does that person fit me” to cooperating “how can we make this work”, a lot of relationships can be saved and improve.
Your attitude shows up on your face and in your body language. Do you seem like someone ho finds life interesting? This is important. In order to look as if you find life remarkable and enjoyable, it is always a good idea to practice maintaining a slight smile, the kind that makes your eyes crinkle ever so slightly. Think Mona Lisa, or bigger if you like. Mona Lisa looks as though she finds life rather amusing; she is infinitely calm, yet mysterious—and that is a striking combination. No man wants to be around a woman who is bored, agitated or unfriendly. Depressed or angry women drive men away in droves.
Cue the incoherence. Nearly 70 percent of men agreed to visit the lady’s apartment, and 75 percent accepted the sexual proposition. At least one man asked why wait until the night. Another checked his mental calendar and said he couldn’t today but what about tomorrow. Another who refused on account of being married apologized for having to refuse on account of being married. Meanwhile just half the men agreed to go out sometime. Extrapolating the finding to the real world means that on any given first date, the man would sooner sleep with the hostess than dine with his companion.
Face: Ask a guy the definition of cuteness/beauty. I can guarantee there will be one face where you can’t find the ‘beauty’ word anywhere. But they still love that face, the spots, the freckles and every little imperfection on it. Maybe beautiful eyes, crooked nose or deep dimples. They can find something so weird in the face, so beautiful, it blows your mind.
This is part of preening, except that it is what you do on your own, before you go out into the world where you’ll likely run into that special man. First of all, you must have a good hair cut, even if it means having to spend a little extra money on a stylist who knows what he is doing. A good hair style will do wonders for your self esteem, besides bringing out the symmetry of your face. Once we’ve done everything we can to take care of our outward appearance, we become more confident and our “inner spark” casts an almost magical spell, which then makes us more approachable.
Don’t constantly bring it up. Let her tell you when she is ready. Make sure she gets birth control and you wear a condom before having sex. You don’t want her first experience to be ruined by worries and tears.
A man also wants a woman who understands him. He wants a woman who knows why he thinks the way he thinks and does the things he does. She doesn’t always have to agree with him, but she at least needs to understand him and support the “little missions” he has in life.
Hi Sam…So glad you liked the article. Flipping the hair, in conjunction with smiling and eye contact may indicate mild flirting. But hair flipping alone does not indicate interest. Some women are overly obsessed with appearance, and as such, may have developed the hair flipping thing as a nervous habit. Long story short, it depends upon the rest of her body language.
Another way to practice excellent body language is to have awareness of your hands. Are they relaxed, or are they clenched? Tense hands indicate a closed, stubborn, or unhappy personality. Women who seem inflexible make men crazy, and not in a good way. However, if your palms are open and your wrists exposed, this small thing projects a more welcoming aura. In other words, an aura of calmness draws men toward you. Women too, are attracted to men who are relaxed and have who an easy way about them. In fact, everyone is drawn to people whose body language is quietly confident, reassuring and warm.
Great advice. For me the problem is posture. I have poor posture because I have been sick most of the winter and lost a lot of muscle. I am going to have to figure out which exercises will fix my posture!
The type of woman that I would want emotionally, a feminine woman who is grateful, nurturing, etc, is not exactly compatible with “independent woman”. The type of woman I’d want for a life partner isn’t compatible with an independent woman’s ideals.
If it’s up to a man to protect and provide for his woman and family, what is it that he wants and needs from her in return? Simply put, a woman’s beauty and grace attracts a man and is often demonstrated in her innate ability as a nurturer or caretaker.
If he doesn’t, then life is too short to be unhappy. You shouldn’t have to spend every day wondering if tomorrow will be the day he cheats again. And you most definitely shouldn’t feel like you have to do more in the relationship to keep him around. Don’t let him “have his cake and eat it too” as the old saying goes.
Nice tips Jeremy.They are really helpful. I also want to give one advise to guys. If you want to grab attention of a girl then you also need to make constant Eye contact with her so that she also end up doing the same… 🙂
Hiya sounds to me hes keeping his options open sweetheart. Maybe use Matthews methods whilst maintaining tour own life and show him what you are all about for e.g. youre fun outgoing independent etc. Be interested but not so keen-keen. Dont make mistakes like me who used to tell men that i was interested in them and the inevitable rejection used to happen. Good luck x
Relationships take time, dedication, and a steady mix of patience to work out right. After all, you’re trying to build a life with someone, and that’s no easy task. However, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a method to all of the madness or a way to get someone to notice the depth of your love and give you some of that adoration in return.
There is a significant difference between “like being spoiled” and “feel entitled to being spoiled”. I like being spoiled, too, but I would NEVER expect it. It isn’t fair to men to expect them to pay for everything while YOU determine suitability; they are also determining suitability. Even if you say how much you appreciate them, words are cheap and need action to back them up. There is nothing wrong with either going dutch or taking turns paying right up front, and there is no reason to dump that expense on the man. I always offer to split the bill. I’ve never had a man take me up on that, but I do offer, and I have the money with me to back it up if they ever do accept.
Whatever you do, be natural. After all, you really do have to smooth that skirt or adjust the strap of your high heels. Now… can you picture him peering at you out of the corner of his eye, his eyebrow raised in awareness, curiosity… and desire? Of course you can. Now we’re getting somewhere. Whatever preening you do, don’t rush, and don’t look around to see who’s watching. Simply own your space, mind your own business, and smooth away. This is an excellent way to draw men toward you. You are creating anticipation “in the air” and causing him to be pulled toward you.
Yes, physical attractiveness is very important to men, but it’s much more important to men prowling for a fling—who, studies show, tend to be younger men—than those after a steady mate. Yes, many men want younger women, but most of those reside on the short-term half of the spectrum; long-term guys tend to prefer women around their own age. Yes, men like the hourglass figure, but while they focus on the body over the face when looking for sex, the reverse is true for men looking for a relationship, studies report. (Women focus on the face either way.)
Lastly, a man needs time alone every now and then. We do not like to be continually smothered all the time. It is not because we do not love our woman any less, we just need time alone to space out and unwind. Be it going fishing, reading a book, video games, watching the game with mates…men NEED this time to function properly. It’s a phenomenon I can’t explain, but when I do not get my alone time, I start to feel suffocated. My fiancee has finally realized this and since then, our relationship has been going so much better.
The kindle version is only $9, and if this book was sent to the top of the charts on Amazon or on various best selling booklists it would send a massive wake-up call to the culture about men and their opinions and feelings in the dating game rather than Kay Hymowitz’s bullshit “Manning Up” or Hanna Rosin’s even worse “The End of Men.”
To start, you must rid your mind of (or at least become aware of) the perception biases you currently have about men. According to Bob Grant, “A perception bias is where you see something based on your own way of thinking, and you then impose that belief onto other people or situations.” Common perception biases many women have about men are:
The last thing you want to happen is miss out on the opportunity to take advantage of the situation when a guy want to ask you out but is scared out of his wits to do it. Here you will find ways to tell he is trying to ask you out. Just keep it a secret because if he ever finds out he’ll be furious. Keep on reading to get what you need to stay one step in front of him.
What I’ve found is that once you’re in your 30s, groups of friends thin out — many get married, move away, etc. You essentially should beget more friendships, save time by cutting out your hobbies and working out at home some of the time to save time on gong to & being at the gym.
It doesn’t take a psychologist to know what men want. But give a whole lot of them a whole lot of time and you begin to understand the considerable nuance that governs what men want. Some people like pulp in their orange juice, after all.
When I hear you saying that he complains you have changed, it makes me feel like he’s not truly sorry and that he just wants you to “get over it” overnight and be like you were before. And he doesn’t want to be held accountable for what he’s done.
Secondly, always try to wear clothes that are somewhat form fitting, but not too tight and never baggy – you don’t want to look like you’re revealing too much or hiding too much. In other words, give the sweats and the shapeless dress a break every now and again, and wear something pretty. Also, don’t worry if you are carrying some extra weight. You can still show your curves!
You probably don’t realize it, but your advice here is the same as a toothpaste ad which has been running on tee-vee recently. It shows a youngish woman by herself at some beach-side patio cafe who spots a guy there she wants to meet. It shows her passively sitting there with her Cinderella Complex looking all wistful/dreamy, and with a vague smile on her face, while the voice-over says “First, you’ve got to get him to say Hello”.
Preening is great fun. Use your imagination. There are a million ways to preen “a little.” So, whenever the opportunity presents itself, take advantage of this newly acquired attraction skill. A word of warning. Never be overtly sexual. You want a man to realize that you have a mind, not just a body. You never want to attract the wrong kind of men, so be a class-act. Always.
If you are single and available you want to tell everyone you know and like that you are ready and looking for a great man. But make sure to tell them what kind of guy you are looking for. Otherwise they may set you up with their unemployed, neighbor who has commitment issues.
Secondly, I cannot tolerate woman who think they are the center of the universe. There is nothing wrong with being confident, and I find confidence very attractive AT THE RIGHT TIME, but what woman must understand is that men naturally want to lead. Woman who are too boisterous and opinionated really repulse me. There needs to be a good balance there too. My personal opinion and experience with girls that are overly loud, is that they are VERY insecure. It is a major turnoff.
That would mean that you are trying to get him to like the fake you, not the real you. If so, you can’t blame him for being confused later on, once you take the ‘mask’ off. So here is a little tip from us. Right off the bat, try to be yourself and show him what kind of person you are. It will save you both the time and hassle if you don’t like each other. It’s not just about the time, but it’s fair. We’re not suggesting you don’t take a shower for two days, and don’t do your hair, no. Keep it together, but don’t over do it. There is no need to act like a diva in front of a guy and pretend you are crazy about baseball if you’re actually not that kind of a girl. If you do, next thing you know: he’s taking you to weekly baseball games, and you’re not happy.
Hi FlourishAnyway. Thank you for sharing the hub! I’m happy that you enjoyed that particular section–about owning your space. It really does pay off where men are concerned, but I will say that sometimes some “petty” women will get a little catty about it…but that’s there problem and not ours. As always, I appreciate your insight about the positive and confident signals we send out.
Lastly, a gal that doesn’t take care of herself. This is partly tied to appearance, truth be told. A woman that doesn’t take good care of herself physically is more prone to be lacking in other areas of her life, too. There’s a lot of fixing up to be done, in some cases. If a woman is fine being out of shape and not taking care of herself and has no other issues, that’s okay, too. However, I want a woman that cares about her well being and physical health as much as I care about my own; it’s as simple as that.
Great tips! I have come across many articles that have give all kinds of advices, but none that talk about the aura and owning our space.. these are critical in attracting the right kind of people. You have described everything very clearly and precisely, loved reading your hub! 🙂
To understand cute behavior better, all you need is to interact with a couple of Japanese or Thai girls whose behavior isn’t influenced by us Americans. They’re not meek or silly, nor do they have to behave like stupid bimbos to win a guy’s affection. All they have to do is flaunt what sets them apart, and that’s their femininity and grace. [Read: 10 easy moves to appear a lot more graceful and feminine]
Be mysterious. A huge part of attracting men is letting them figure you out. Don’t talk his ear off about every detail of your life or your feelings. Carefully think about what you say and don’t fill the conversation with idle gabbing. Also, don’t make yourself available all the time. Allow him to wonder where you are and what you’re doing.