Be the woman all his friends are lusting after and who lights up the room with your smile. It’s a fact; if all of his friends are “ooohing and ahhing” over you, he will be attracted to you all the more.
Feminists are not anti traditionally feminine, if the woman is happy with the way she dresses, whether it’s jeans or a dress. Also stereotypes are harmful even if they are complimentary, you are not doing any favours in those regards. Also the word feminazi is stupid, Hitler was anti feminist and we don’t kill several people in gas chambers. Stop comparing us to nazis, it’s bullshit and an unoriginal insult that isn’t at all witty.
Here is some great news for those women who are resigned to the myth that all men cheat — infidelity and “a roaming eye” are as distasteful to men as they are to women. Great men know how to build a wonderful relationship, and they know fidelity is the main ingredient.
Since a lot of women ask me this question on a regular basis, I thought let me ask the men I know as to what attracts them to women. I asked my husband, my friends, brothers, and colleagues, and in a nutshell the below points are the ones that they largely mentioned.
Get over emotional baggage from previous relationships. Carrying baggage over from previous relationships can harm your current one. Throw out old mementos, pictures, and items of your ex to help you get over them. Don’t make assumptions about all men because of your previous experiences and don’t think that you have an extraordinary intuition, especially when that intuition manifests negatively most of the time.
Be yourself. If a man/woman doesn’t like you for who you are, then they need to go be with someone they do like. Maybe you don’t like awkward silences so you fill them in. That’s part of who you are. Maybe you tend to plan it advance, part of who you are, you cant help it. Don’t bother reading or listening to this, people will be attracted to who you really are, not who this guy tells you to pretend to be.
“One of the ironies of the day is how proficient so many women are at choosing men who communicate poorly by assuming those men who are most responsive to the female’s ‘signals’ provide the best relationships.”
To understand cute behavior better, all you need is to interact with a couple of Japanese or Thai girls whose behavior isn’t influenced by us Americans. They’re not meek or silly, nor do they have to behave like stupid bimbos to win a guy’s affection. All they have to do is flaunt what sets them apart, and that’s their femininity and grace. [Read: 10 easy moves to appear a lot more graceful and feminine]
I would also suggest developing an additional “social” personal hobby. Depending on your current interests, perhaps there are some aspects of your hobbies now that could be more social (e.g. interest groups, meet-ups, conventions, etc.). That can be a good way to practice being more social and expand your friendship network. Perhaps you will find love that way. Or perhaps, you will make a good friend who will introduce you to his sister, cousin, girlfriend’s friend, etc. Networking works just as well in love as it does in business. A good referral goes a long way too 🙂
Jeffrey Platts – Consider me as a new addition to your fan club. Your list made me rethink my image. Heaps of thanks for the insights! Particularly the one about body language. I’m a notorious arm-crosser and inadvertent non-smiler.
my relationship is ended near 5 months ago, and I am madly in love with my ex, we had so much good time together which made him so special to me..same sense of humor and every new things we had experiencing when we were together…he dumped me for stupid reasons like we need to focus on studying (we are both in collage), we need to forget everything, he was saying that we were just friends and nothing happened between us (he asked me to kiss him on 1st date, which it was too early for me to do so, so he kinda got upset at that), any ways, I really miss him not because he is ignoring me or so, I just want him back, I tired to msg him but it was just back fire,he just ignores and when he replies back its just harsh msg that he is so busy and so on…being honest with you I am kind girl.. never tired to break his heart or anything like that..I don’t know if he really misses me or wants me or he is just playing games on me…its so confusing and not right, people tell me he wasn’t nice guy, he was trash and so on, but still inside me I feel they are all wrong and he wasn’t that bad…I miss him so much, its just kinda of feels so bad when I think he doesn’t think about me even a bit and ignores me so much for no reason…hurts more than can be describe…
Well I think a lot of single mamas will tell you it’s not easy to date and take care of a young child, so kudos to you! Just so you know, there are a lot of guys out there who will be immature or not ready or willing to take on a woman with a kid. But then, there are those wonderful men who can handle it. These are the men to meet—don’t be afraid to let your dates know you have a child and being a mother (and finding a good father figure) is important to you. I married a man with kids and don’t have any myself, so it was a big transition. But well worth it. Instead of hitting the bars, try meeting guys through friends, church groups, or activities you enjoy. Good luck!
If you’ve ever fallen hard for someone in the early stages of crushes and dating, you know the most frustrating — and the greatest — thing about it can be trying to gain their attention and earn their returned love. You want to prove yourself as someone worthy of their time and affection, but it’s never just as easy as casting a magic spell to make it all go well, is it?
When the roles were reversed in the 1989 Clark-Hatfield study and men were doing the sexual offering, about half the women accepted the date. Very, very few agreed to come over that night. Not a single one agreed to go to bed. “You’ve got to be kidding,” was a common reply. “What is wrong with you?” was another. Some things haven’t changed much in the recent past, and aren’t likely to: In replications of the experiment, albeit on paper, researchers have consistently found that men are far more likely than women to accept the casual sexual offer.
What attracts a man to a woman is a subjective question. It depends on many variables: race, age of the man, what era and which culture he belongs to. For example in some tribes in Africa (Mursi tribe in Ethiopia), the women wear large lip plate in their mouth to look more attractive!
For example, suppose you’re sitting somewhere, say at a cocktail party, and plenty of interesting men are milling about. Now is your time to preen. You can decide to smooth your skirt… simply run your hand from thigh to knee (while he’s watching, of course), or you might adjust the strap of your high heel ever so slightly, and then gently splay your fingers softly from ankle to mid-calf. Just checking, you know… to see if everything is in place. You’re preening a little.
Unless you are going to keep all your hair (rarer these days but again this is a total individual preference and there are some guys who do like this so if there’s a man who you know likes this go for it). I would say in general, though, trimming at the very least is a good idea.
Unfortunately men can pick up on the signs, but the good news is there are many things you can do about it which means that before you know it, you will have attractive men throwing themselves at you just by applying some simple tips.
I find that I am drawn to women that are creative and artistic; I tend to be a nuts and bolts kind of person, circuit boards and hard drives rule my day. Having a woman that can make sure I’m getting my appropriate dosages of culture is nice. Sometimes these women are easy to spot; there’s a place I go to called the Gypsy Den and I tell you, these creative female types are all over… Though, they kinda look like they walked out of some sort of hippy people loving commune…
Not really knowing oneself is most of the time the common mistake of women. we tend to be someone we’re really not because we want to attract some guy. in the end, we don’t get what we want because we were too busy being somebody else in the process.
Men want to feel manly and significant. They want to provide for you, it’s just their nature to be that way. However, a man will only want to give to a woman who can happily receive what he has to offer, not one who is going to make unnecessary demands in order to feel good about herself and secure in the relationship. A woman who tries to get this assurance from the outside will always be unsatisfied and there is nothing more unappealing to a man than an unhappy woman.
“Social commentators tend to be extremists. They view the world as, one, men and women are identical, or two, we are different species. There is little sense of nuance,” says Elaine Hatfield now, looking back on why her findings produced such a strong response. “I think both men and women want love and sex. Some men pretend to be macho. But under the right conditions both men and women admit to being more complex than the stereotypes would have it.”
Yes, physical attractiveness is very important to men, but it’s much more important to men prowling for a fling—who, studies show, tend to be younger men—than those after a steady mate. Yes, many men want younger women, but most of those reside on the short-term half of the spectrum; long-term guys tend to prefer women around their own age. Yes, men like the hourglass figure, but while they focus on the body over the face when looking for sex, the reverse is true for men looking for a relationship, studies report. (Women focus on the face either way.)
I unapologetically invest in, expect and am open to receiving the best from life—whether it’s traveling, eating, coaching, education, men, clothing or relationships. (And no, I was not born into a rich family. My parents immigrated to the United States, made their own way, and I did too).
The article is so long, and talks about so many things and tips, but all you women who feel threatened by feminine girls just jump on one point the author claims, that Asian girls behave in a more feminine way. Do you even see how you’re all behaving? Like insecure brats!! Just read the whole article and stop picking the one thing that makes you feel insecure, for crying out loud!! Instead, try to understand a guy’s mind better.
The truth is, you DON’T need a man in your life to be happy. As a strong, independent, confident woman you can stand on your own two feet and get through life just fine. But you shouldn’t let a man know that if you want to keep a guy interested.
Im a successful middle age womean. Six years ago my husband cheated on me. It was devastating. After realizing I no longer loved him, I left the marriage. Now Im interested in dating. But its been a while since Ive dated (18 yrs). I just don’t know how to get the process started. Ive met a few men who seem interested then all of a sudden things go cold. I dont know what Im doing wrong. Do you have any suggestions for me?
She has a glow. Hard to describe this, but it’s something you can just feel when you see it. You can tell that she’s connected to her heart and is okay with sharing her love with the world. If a guy approached her and she wasn’t interested, she would be honest, yet have respect and compassion for his courage to come up talk to her.
Dress to impress but remain comfortable. When you are going out to meet new guys, it’s important that you feel confident and comfortable in your clothes. However, if your outfit makes you feel ridiculous or uncomfortable, it will affect your mood and the way that the date progresses. Pick out something that you would usually wear, but make sure that it’s clean and looks fresh before you go out.
Men like to be around positive and happy people, because that attitude can reflect on them as well. Smile, because it automatically motivates a man to approach you. Attract men with your happy disposition, because this trick can be applied to almost every single guy out there. No man wants to approach a woman that is grumpy and sad looking. Appearing grumpy will make you unattractive no matter how good-looking you are. You don’t have to smile at everyone, but if you see a guy you like, let your smile tell him he’s welcome to approach you. He won’t miss the sign.
This is a great post. I have always noticed when I would go out with some of my friends how their behavior would change around men. I always tried to tell them to relax.I definitely agree about the not talking about your exes. Not only have I heard my friends do it, but I used to have this problem too. Great advice. Love the post. I am sharing this with all my girl friends.
Perfume is actually something that a lot of women over do. Most men do not like very strong perfume. You’re better off sticking with something very light and being very conservative with how much you spray.
Do you feel like giving up hope for your relationship? You don’t have to journey alone. You can connect with one of our free and confidential mentors for encouragement and support. Just fill out the form in the “Connect” tab below.
Another tip: Applying makeup (of any kind) is best left for the powder room. Lining your lips in public is not sexy; it’s actually sort of tacky—so don’t think you’ll draw the worthwhile man’s attention that way. You won’t. However, if you preen well, you will definitely pique his interest and desire… in a good way. At the end of the day, he’ll be thinking of your poise, intelligence, and yes, your sex appeal—and that, after all, is your goal,
[…] always curious to hear the opinions of guys when it comes to dating. In my last guest blog post, I asked the amazing, hilarious and insightful dating bloggers Jack From Brooklyn, Fishy, The Urban […]
Unfortunately, you cannot and should not force anyone to do something that they do not wish to do. You can try to get to know this man better by spending more time with him; perhaps he will eventually grow to like you. If he really is not interested in you, however, it might be healthier for you to move on to a different man.
Now, I had found this article when I was looking up what women want from men, and guess what? The results were disappointing. I could tell the men who wrote the articles I had came across were only taking into account specific stereotypes of women, and it made me cringe a bit how pathetic the articles actually were.
Many girls are against the idea of being feminine or behaving in a cute manner. To a typical feminist, behaving in a demure or coy manner is a sign of weakness. And they can’t accept that a guy finds a cute *and dare, we say it… submissive* girl more attractive than a girl who likes to be a non-girlie girl.
Doing what you can to be the most attractive version of you possible is only going to increase your options, increase your power, and increase your effectiveness with attracting the person you ultimately want to attract.
Negativity. Nothing drains me more than a woman who is perpetually negative, with a bad attitude. One of my exes was so keen to rag on her co-workers; it was the bulk of what we’d talk about. She would make fun of these people, if she wasn’t doing that she was worried about how someone wronged her at work… Man, I couldn’t deal. When she would come by, she’d immediately hop into bed and not for any “bounce house” antics either. You don’t realize how much a negative person drains from you until you’ve kicked them to the curb!
I’m going to skip the obvious (she’s hot) because there’s nothing superficial millions of years of behavioral programming. The realm of women I find physically attractive is fairly spacious; but finding the combination of qualities that truly attract me in one woman, is rare.
Control is really the key here: control of yourself and your reactions to others may sound simple, but it’s very difficult to master. Having high self-esteem and confidence – without over-stepping into arrogance! – is a very attractive trait to any man.
You may think the root of this is about money, but it’s really linked to something much deeper. It’s about someone else’s limitations on what they think they cannot have—or do not deserve. It really is about how much you feel you are worth. It is about how much you feel you deserve.
So there you have it, understanding how to attract men in any situation really comes down to not being so needy, so watch out for that. Incidentally, if you want to know more practical tips for getting his attention from the moment you see him, take a look at my post: How To Get A Guy To Notice You.
Be active, social, and attend events that you enjoy. Just because you’re a gay man, doesn’t mean that you need to go to exclusively gay events or establishments to meet a mate. Remember to keep a positive frame of mind, and get out and be social in the world. Take a community class or join a gym if you are having trouble interacting with other people. Take opportunities to attend social events with groups of friends and be kind and welcoming to people that you meet. A genuine and positive attitude will naturally attract other men to you. When you find someone you’re attracted to, put in additional effort to spend more time with them.
Be approachable to them — don’t make them think you like them. Take it easy and flirt a little. Or even maybe ask if he’s interested in boys. If he says no, move on. If he says yes, maybe even ask him on a date or kiss him.
The Big Short, the film adaptation of Michael Lewis’ book of the same name about the causes of the financial crisis, opens in UK cinemas this weekend. How will the story stack up against the greatest films about business?