[…] For the male perspective on turn-ons and turn-offs, written by three of my favorite male dating bloggers (Jackie Summers, The Urban Dater, Jeffrey Platts and Fishy) see this collaborative post by Kelly Seal. […]
If we are complex—still admittedly if—we don’t like to show it. Sometimes our emotional side is so hidden researchers can’t find it. A notable mid-’90s study by evolutionary psychologists found that when you ask people what type of infidelity will upset them, men say a sexual tryst more than women, and women an emotional affair more than men. That’s Mars and Venus in galactic alignment.
Well I think a lot of single mamas will tell you it’s not easy to date and take care of a young child, so kudos to you! Just so you know, there are a lot of guys out there who will be immature or not ready or willing to take on a woman with a kid. But then, there are those wonderful men who can handle it. These are the men to meet—don’t be afraid to let your dates know you have a child and being a mother (and finding a good father figure) is important to you. I married a man with kids and don’t have any myself, so it was a big transition. But well worth it. Instead of hitting the bars, try meeting guys through friends, church groups, or activities you enjoy. Good luck!
Verely; what you did wrong telling this guy you liked him is you were too easy. You have to find a way to attract a man to you, by being friendly, flirtatious maybe, but you don’t just give yourself to him.
Have a life. Desperate, dramatic, and clingy relationships are often rooted in a feeling of need and desperation for a man to fill your life. Even if you have low self-esteem, work over time to build it. Pursue your goals and be focused, explore your passions, have an interesting life, do things that take you outside your boundaries. Don’t put up a tough exterior to get over shyness; gradually learn to build trust with a network of people, so that your boyfriend isn’t the only person you open up to and share your life with. Also remember to trust yourself first. If you can’t trust yourself, you are likely to not trust your man.
Play hard to get. The worst thing you can do is to smother a guy or appear desperate. Men are attracted to the thrill of the chase, so if you’re chasing after him, you’re taking away the challenge. Keep it low-key and keep him on the edge of his seat. Maintain your composure. Your outward indifference may make him want you more.
Response: What good is accepting something that is a failure? How effective is bringing out the best in something that is a failure? No one is perfect nor can someone be perfect. Listen, turn him into what you want him to be, but, do it right. The process won’t always work because some people are to ignorant to believe that they should be better for you, but if they are willing, then it is possible. The thing is you aren’t perfect either, but relationships are all about two individuals benefiting each other. This means that you both are going to mold each other, although, one may be making more of an impact than the other.
Great tips! I have come across many articles that have give all kinds of advices, but none that talk about the aura and owning our space.. these are critical in attracting the right kind of people. You have described everything very clearly and precisely, loved reading your hub! 🙂
Being well-rounded also includes being a global citizen who invests in learning about different cultures and countries. Nothing expands your mind faster than traveling the world to discover the best other cultures have to offer.
Odour – Girls should smell nice. It’s as simple as that. We all have difficult moments but the one thing I can say about my mum, and my one and only long-term girlfriend, is that they a/ never smelt of BO, and b/ never left a stink in the bathroom. I lived with a German girl last year for a while and going in the bathroom after her was like visiting Chernobyl. Seriously.
When it comes to true demonstrations of masculine energy and the code it lives by, the concept of honor is practically inseparable from the ideal. Whether it’s warriors on the battlefield or symbolic “warriors” on the playing field, having your partner’s back is the difference between winning and losing or even life and death. A man has got to trust that you’re on his team and have his back, otherwise, he will never commit.
Love is not just words, man understand that well. But every now and then he likes to be reminded how great he is and how special he had become in his woman’s life. This affirmation is important to keep him engaged and attached to her.
The key to most of these is that you are comfortable. If you are not comfortable then there is no point in doing any of these things. If you are, though, it will come off as extremely sexy. Being comfortable is sexy.
Jeffrey Platts – Consider me as a new addition to your fan club. Your list made me rethink my image. Heaps of thanks for the insights! Particularly the one about body language. I’m a notorious arm-crosser and inadvertent non-smiler.
As a general rule of thumb, if your walk has become a waddle, you’ve gone too far. If you have no other problems and yet walking or standing hurts your joints or back, you may be too fat to be attractive to most men (and nobody is saying you have to be).
I traveled with my mom to Dallas to hear from women about their difficulties with finding Mr. Right. In this video, you’ll get to enjoy some exclusive behind-the-scenes conversation and on-stage footage with real women + some super fun bonus footage of my mom trying to get women for me 😉
Understanding men and their need to be successful is key to keeping a man around. Compliment him and find ways to make him feel successful in everything he does, and he’ll reward you through loyalty, love, passion, and romance.
If you take a look around, you’ll often discover men don’t marry “perfect” women. That’s because looks alone aren’t enough to make a guy fall in love with you. However, they can be important because your physical appearance is the first thing a guy will notice about you.
The longer a man stays long-term, the more in touch with his emotional side he may get. The Kinsey Institute recently conducted an international survey of more than 1,000 middle-age couples who had, on average, been together 25 years. The researchers measured each partner’s relationship and sexual satisfaction on a number of variables. Some of the findings were obvious—sexual functioning, for instance, was strongly related to male sexual satisfaction—but others were highly unexpected.
Rewrite your online dating profile from scratch; working with a blank page will get you thinking about what you really want. Then keep it updated, often—Casey, also Match.com’s relationships expert, says to keep it active, like your Facebook profile. “You change your résumé for every job—so you should be changing your online profile picture to show you on a recent ski trip, or talk about the newest movie you’ve seen. You need to be putting things out there that people will respond to, not just ‘Looking for someone with great eyes.'” And if you’ve yet to take the online dating plunge, c’mon, it’s 2013: The stigma is so 2008.
This article sucks! “Contrary to popular belief, don’t be yourself. Evolve.” What is so wrong with being yourself?! Women and men need to be authentically themselves. It is so beautiful when you find someone who loves and cares about you because you are you. That is what love is, not some bullshit circus show.
You have been trying really hard to ask this guy out on a date and you are scared because you do not know whether he likes you back. So this article will tell you whether or not he likes you and will make all your confusions go away.
Nothing annoys me more than someone who tells you not to feel the pain you’re in. Life can be tough – it lets you down, it feels like being punched in the gut on the bad days. But the question now is: How do you get out of it?
Finally, always look polished. Wear that bright nail polish on your toes – maybe a luminous hot pink, a blazing orange, or a bright torquoise. Put on those beautiful bracelets that give off a pleasant sound when you gesture with your hands. I’m serious… men ache for these little touches of femininity.
Take care of your appearance. A woman who takes care of herself will attract men easier than one who doesn’t. Shower with nice-smelling bath products. Use a feminine scented deodorant. Brush your teeth well and always keep mints and gum on hand. If you talk to a guy and your breath is less than fresh, he’s not going to notice anything else about you. Keep your hair neat and clean and take pride in your looks. Use a perfume that smells sweet and sensual.
I am well aware that there are always exceptions and different people like different things. But what I am going to take you through is some of the most common and universally true things that make a man feel attracted to you.
► Directness: Men really like women who mean what they say. Are you interested? Say it. Are you not interested? Say it. Saying no when you mean yes and saying yes when you are not fully interested removes any sort of trustworthiness that women have. Seriously, no games. Say what you mean. Like you, men don’t like to be played with.
There’s a man locally who I’ve known for awhile (including times that we’ve been lovers), who really loves me, treats me well, and is also not pressuring me to be with him, though he’s made it clear that he’s interested.
Español: conseguir un hombre (para hombres gay), Português: Conseguir um Homem (Para Gays), Italiano: Trovare un Uomo (per Uomini Gay), Deutsch: Als schwuler Mann einen Mann finden, 中文: 得到一个男人（同性恋者适用）, Français: rencontrer un homme quand on est gay, Nederlands: Een man vinden (als je homo bent), Bahasa Indonesia: Mendapatkan Pria (untuk Pria Gay), Tiếng Việt: Làm quen bạn trai (dành cho đồng tính nam), ไทย: หาผู้ชายสำหรับหนุ่มเกย์
If you accept who he really is when he’s not wearing his mask (without a hint of judgment – judgment will shut him down and drive him away from you in a blink), he will feel deeply, truly connected to you.