Hi Sam…So glad you liked the article. Flipping the hair, in conjunction with smiling and eye contact may indicate mild flirting. But hair flipping alone does not indicate interest. Some women are overly obsessed with appearance, and as such, may have developed the hair flipping thing as a nervous habit. Long story short, it depends upon the rest of her body language.
Been married over 9 yrs, noticed changes in spouses behavior and work routine. He now commutes 45 min to another work location 2 days/week, work later, and communicates less with me while at work, ie 1 call/ a day after 2:00pm. Noticed in 1 month several withdrawal of ATMs back to back, $600, $400, $200 on days commuting, as well as, excessive spending on the same day of withdrawals.
[…] For the male perspective on turn-ons and turn-offs, written by three of my favorite male dating bloggers (Jackie Summers, The Urban Dater, Jeffrey Platts and Fishy) see this collaborative post by Kelly Seal. […]
Be fun, in ways that men think are fun. This rule of attraction seems simple enough, but so many girls get it wrong. Don’t be too much of a stereotypical “girl.” Be able to let your hair down and tell jokes, watch sports, play video games or poker with him and try to enjoy the things that he enjoys. He’s not interested in holding your purse while you shop. Nor does he care what happened on last week’s episode of Days of Our Lives. Hang out at sports bars with him. He’ll want you even more.
My children’s father and myself broke up 8 years ago and we have recently rekindled our love, however I am also dealing with the fact that he has another child which is pretty much why we broke up in the first place, I will admit him and I were 20 when we met and we hadn’t yet grown up I’ve learned alot through the years him and I were apart, I never thought we would ever feel anything for one another again, but we do…. I love that man so much but it’s very difficult for me to see him dealing with his other child’s mothe, I feel as though he’s hiding me from her because she doesn’t know about us, I want this man to be my husband when the time is right, sometimes I get confused and I wonder if he loves me the same, I know he does but I wonder how much! I’m trying to get the ring, I’ve been dealing with him for 10 years and I want him to pop the question! ??????? I don’t want to waste my time, what do u suggest??? My mind is beginning to wonder and I’m sensing myself going into survival mode, I don’t want to be that way even though he hurt me years ago, I want to keep the past behind and focus on getting my ring and the future, hopefully he is included in what I’ve always wanted!
She is dressed a little TOO sexy. It’s one thing if she’s showing some skin as part of an overall classy and confident outfit. It’s another if she’s doing it to get obvious attention from guys or as a way to outdo the other women. I dig a woman who knows how to attract with her body, but also her brain and energy.
And, I mean that. If humanity is such a junkpile, then, why bother? Because, all you’re really saying, all this Care Bears in Love-*article* says, is that some peoples’ Hatred and Anger and Emotional Murder is offensive and unacceptable, and others’ Hatred and Anger and Emotional Murder, is really not so bad. That’s the message, The Actual Message, of “don’t expect perfection”…which, of course, then becomes a new buzzphrase for “settling”.
Control is really the key here: control of yourself and your reactions to others may sound simple, but it’s very difficult to master. Having high self-esteem and confidence – without over-stepping into arrogance! – is a very attractive trait to any man.
Negativity. Nothing drains me more than a woman who is perpetually negative, with a bad attitude. One of my exes was so keen to rag on her co-workers; it was the bulk of what we’d talk about. She would make fun of these people, if she wasn’t doing that she was worried about how someone wronged her at work… Man, I couldn’t deal. When she would come by, she’d immediately hop into bed and not for any “bounce house” antics either. You don’t realize how much a negative person drains from you until you’ve kicked them to the curb!
A girl who is the epitome of perfection in every way *if she does exist* won’t be awed by anyone else. On the other hand, everywhere she goes, she’d be the girl that would receive compliments, stares and awed jaws!
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In 1533 or 1534 Süleyman married Hürrem in a magnificent formal ceremony, making him the first Ottoman Sultan in 200 years to marry his concubine. Never before was a former slave elevated to the status of the sultan’s lawful spouse, much to the astonishment of observers in the palace and in the city. Hürrem also received the title Haseki Sultan and became the first consort to hold this title. This title, used for a century, reflected the great power of imperial consorts (most of them were former slaves) in the Ottoman court, elevating their status higher than Ottoman princesses, and making them the equals of empresses consort in Europe. Hürrem’s salary was 2,000 aspers a day, making her one of the highest paid hasekis.
Women are the prime target of marketers, social media and politicians. They had managed to manipulate women’s thoughts bombarding them with the “how to” messages: how to dress to impress, how to walk and talk, how to acquire the ideal body shape, even how to express themselves.
► Independence: An independent person is attractive because there is no love lost when each of them have to do their own stuff. There is no compulsion to do everything together. There is no need for constant pampering. A relationship is a team work. Each needs to know how to do their own work independently in order to play.
But to call this desire universal is to ignore a great deal of competing information. While men in developed societies go numb for sinuous curves, those in many developing countries surrender to a larger, more parallel contour. Plumpness may be a sign of poor health in the West, but elsewhere it’s a sign that a woman has access to money and food. Some cultures even prefer a body type that health experts consider clinically overweight. And when a man changes culture, he adjusts his preferred measurements accordingly.
Ideally, this situation is fixed by understanding why your emotions are intense and then making a better, logical decision. It is understanding that your emotions are not really providing accurate information that will help. They are being influenced by the situation.
Both of these biases lead to bad dating. Either the dater expects to fail, or they expect the other person to be awful. Neither of these biases allows them to truly “see” a good partner – or have the motivation to get them. So, such a biased individual either “settles for less” or stays alone and grumpy.
I’m a male in my 30’s working 50-60 hours a week. With that, the gym, and some personal hobbies(mostly not social) I can sink 80 hours and not think of it. Obviously this is not going to work, and excuses are excuses…I have to plan.
I’ll preface this by saying the few dating/relationship books I’ve flipped through or read descriptions for often come across as very condescending to women. This is especially true if meant to unveil the “male mind” and give it to us straight – the “ugly truth” type of stuff. They make women feel bad for being women. You come away from just one little paragraph feeling like men essentially don’t like women (beyond the physical). We’re told we need to be more feminine, but also think like men, less clingy, but not too independent – etc. Here is a book which focuses less on how women need to change their nature, needs, desires, etc, as if we’re hopelessly incompatible with men by nature, and instead it focuses on social skills & positive thinking modes for attracting & developing relationships with compatible men we actually like & who are worth OUR time & energy.
Have a conversation about the seriousness of the relationship. This all comes down to what you are looking for. You may be looking for a committed long-term relationship or you may just want to have fun. Either way, the guy that you’re with should understand what you want out of the relationship. Have a conversation with them about your expectations and don’t be afraid to hurt their feelings. If you wait and they make assumptions, it may end up hurting their feelings even worse later on.
Attracting men has everything to do with our “aura” or the quality we emanate. In fact, whenever you come across a man whose attention you want to attract, you may be surprised to discover that you don’t have to do all that much when you’re around him. It’s all about how you do whatever you’re doing in that moment when an interesting man is nearby. As the French say, it’s all about your “je ne sais quoi,” (that indefinable, intangible quality that makes something distinctive or attractive) The truth is, most men are going to sum you up in a few short seconds, before you even have a chance to say, “Hello.” Consequently, it is important that you maintain an awareness of the image you are projecting in each given moment.
Plus, nothing makes a man feel worse than to feel stuck in a problem he just can’t solve so if you’re unhappy too often, at some level, he’s failed and he will try to distance himself from feeling like a failure. By contrast, nothing makes a man feel successful like you when you are happy — which is why a positive, happy and radiant woman is so appealing.
A good way to meet someone is through other people, or activities you enjoy. Some advice about being genuine: Don’t take up hobbies or habits just to meet someone. If you meet him in a bar, he’s liable to be a drinker. If you meet him in a house of worship, he’s likely to be religious. First impressions are important, so if his first impression of you is “party person”, it will be difficult to change. The same thing goes for if his first impression of you is “uptight person” or “mind-game person”.
It would be extremely difficult to find a man who does not find this to be an insane turn on. I won’t really go into this further but I think what I said speaks for itself. Do it in the way that feels comfortable for you and only if it feels comfortable.
If a man views you as equal (e.g. being the same as him), then he will treat you like a man and you’ll probably get respect, but you probably won’t get much affection physically or emotionally. You must trust him enough to give up some of your power in the relationship where he is designed to excel. In return, you’ll get a man who will give up some of his own power and allow you to influence him in ways that will establish greater intimacy and closeness over time.
What men want in a woman is someone who is their complement, not their “equal”. Trying to be a man’s equal creates competition and resentment in a relationship. The same is true if a man tries to be a woman’s equal. This may not make sense at first glance, so let’s look at some examples to help clarify the point.
Falling in love is meeting somebody you’ve never met before. Falling in love is letting go, and feeling vulnerable, open, and damn, a little scared. It’s a beautiful thing. So, let go. Because you’ll never be able to control love, so don’t try.
there are really no good women to meet anymore as it is since women are so very picky nowadays and can’t accept us men for who we are. oh by the way, i am not a Rich Man since many of you want a man with a very large bank account. Sorry.
As I was single my neighbor who is 3 yrs younger than me and much more mature than my last with a good steady job offered to help mow my yard and we became friends. We just were so busy with work and our pass life we never took time to notice each other. Friendship grew stronger and turned into a relationship. Yes things he does might bug me like OCD but hey at least my house is clean and kids are learning from it! I can live with his unique ways about him. Now we are engaged to be married!
Great tips! I have come across many articles that have give all kinds of advices, but none that talk about the aura and owning our space.. these are critical in attracting the right kind of people. You have described everything very clearly and precisely, loved reading your hub! 🙂
And do not , under ANY circumstances order directly from his “empire’s” site ! His company illegally keeps your payment method on file and you WILL start getting random fraudulent charges for his other crap, “coaching” bs and all of his other nonsense , while entertaining , is as useless as this book .
Being able to truly let go in the bedroom is going to make it so much more fun for both you and him. Holding back out of fear of being judged and being awkward will only do a disservice to both you and him.
Yes. I actually just wrote this cliché. I can’t believe I am even writing it but it’s such a concise way to describe one of the most attractive things to most men: a woman who is presentable and one way when she’s interacting with the world but behind closed doors brings out an entirely different wild, sexual side.
The book is described as providing dating tips that still let *you* be *you*, and don’t require any gamesmanship to meet and keep a quality man; neither claim turns out to be true. In a nutshell, the book’s how-to can be boiled down to this:
In truth, such a belief in destiny and a perfect soul mate partner often leads people to be overly picky, reject good partners, and end up unlucky in love (Knee, 1998; Knee, Vietor, & Neighbors, 2004). They can also be passive in their search for love, simply taking whoever comes into their lives and makes them feel attraction. In the end, they can have little control over the love in their lives, may make a lot of bad choices from being swept away by emotion, and then get repeatedly disappointed when their lovers are not the perfect soul mate after all.
Thank you! If we all just sit around hoping someone will come up and talk to us, then we’re just a bunch of people sitting around. You smile, you say “hi”, you strike up a conversation (quick, list 20 things to talk about with a random stranger!) and you see what happens. Maybe he knows someone who knows someone who’s unattached and available. You never know – and you’ll never know if you just sit there.
So let’s say your guy is having a hard time and needs some time alone, but you really want him to be open and honest with you and want him to share his feelings. Respecting him entails putting what’s best for him above what you want. In this case, it would be giving him the space to work through his issues even though you would prefer that he talk to you about it, because that’s what’s going to be most beneficial for him.
Hello every one,my name is tricia,my boyfriend was not attracted to me but he was to other girls,i love him so much and didn’t want to loose him,so i cast a good luck charm on the both of us through the help of prophet Rukevwe and today our relationship is stronger than ever,if you have tried everything and non worked out,please contact firstname.lastname@example.org he surely can solve any problem,life is too short to be wasting time on advice we already know about.No offence
At best, all one can realistically expect is for a guy to be OK with rejection and to let it roll off his back. As long as he doesn’t get pile-driven by rejection-after-rejection of gals not out of his league, he’ll be fine.