“Men seemed to have a heightened sense of the precariousness of the male gender role,” says University of South Florida psychologist Jennifer Bosson, the paper’s lead author. “We haven’t found many men willing to admit that my manhood is often in question, but when you ask men in general if manhood is something that’s easy to lose and hard to attain, they agree that’s the case.” Or, as the Kinsey Institute’s Julia Heiman puts it: “Heterosexual men have a little trouble saying they really like kissing and cuddling.”
Unfortunately men can pick up on the signs, but the good news is there are many things you can do about it which means that before you know it, you will have attractive men throwing themselves at you just by applying some simple tips.
If you’re unsure of the guy’s sexuality, pay close attention to his body language. If he’s closed off, seems uninterested, or pulls away when you make physical contact, there’s a good chance he’s not attracted to you.
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what “healthy living” means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com. Read More…
I understand the instinct to compare yourself to other women and to other people in general. Maybe you see another woman and you think to yourself, “if only I had ….” (insert whatever it is that you wish you could change about yourself that she has).
It’s a fact of life: men and human beings are visual creatures. There are certain things a man is going to respond to whether he wants to or not. I’m only giving you this information to help you… not to offend or be rude, so please
Being able to truly let go in the bedroom is going to make it so much more fun for both you and him. Holding back out of fear of being judged and being awkward will only do a disservice to both you and him.
BTW true feminists should be willing to fight for men’s equality as well, and hopefully not criticize them for not fighting for yours. We beat men up emotionally more in this culture than ever before and then tell them they aren’t /can’t be man enough for us.
A guy may think a girl is attractive. But in his subconscious mind, he’s gauging you as the woman who may carry his offspring one day. [Read: Evolution and the parts of a woman’s body that has the biggest impact on men]
Mat is dedicated to increasing Love in the world one heart at a time. Mat’s appeared on dozens of national media venues including: The Today Show, CNN Headline News, The Style Network, Fox News, CNN Showbiz Tonight, ABC Family, Oprah and Friends XM, the Hallmark Channel, and many more.
Curves: Men love curves. As Rashmi Rao mentioned in one of her answers, they are programmed to respond to softness of a woman’s body and demeanor in this sharp-edged world, and contrary to popular belief they are very much in love with the bothering love handles or embarrassing thighs. They don’t judge when they see curves. Period.
It’s quite funny how some of you can’t accept the truth. To be honest, this article is true in so many levels. I’m naturally one of those “cute, sweet and feminine” girls, I love wearing pastel colors, skirts, and dresses, I am told that I am well-mannered, and I am somewhat shy. When I was younger, however, I thought that being an “aggressive tomboy” like one of my friends was the way to go. So then, I decided to wear dark clothes, act rude and get violent. You see, my friend had a bunch guys going after her. I got jealous so I decided to be like her. I realized that these boys were just using her, and the guys who actually liked her were the “not-so cute” and nerdy guys. I didn’t want that, so I reverted back to my old self. When I was acting like my friend, I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t get a sweet boyfriend. Until I recently read this article, it gave me hope and made me realize that I can still be that sweet and feminine girl that I was before, and get a guy who will truly care about me. Now I have a rather handsome yet sweet guy who likes me for the real me, and eveyone says we make a rather cute couple. I learned a very valuable lesson here. Thank you 🙂
Speaking from 38+ years of marriage … I want a woman who takes care of herself for me. The same as I take care of myself for her. A woman who lets herself go once she has landed her man is saying “I’m in this for me alone”. Of course the reverse is true, a man who does not take care of himself for his woman is just as guilty. Ladies and Gentlemen, successful relationships are not 50% / 50% deals, they are 100% / 100% deals. Be committed to giving your 100% all the time.
I think I may just be a little clingy to my boyfriend lately. My bf and I have bn together for 2years now. Being in a long-distance relationship we have naturally always wanted 2 feel like we are together all the time, we spend most, if not all, of our free time chatting online or watchng same movies at the same time etc.
For those who would like to woo a woman… It seems that the ladies are a bit more complicated. Fortunately, they are not impossible! Research by Renninger, Wade, and Grammer (2004) sheds some light on what attracts the attention of women. These researchers too went to the bar. They observed the body language and behavior of men who made successful contact with women, versus those who did not.
A specific and very useful example of owning your own space is when you choose to dine alone. Many women will not do this, but what better way to make yourself available to an interesting admirer than for you to enjoy a perfectly comfortable, leisurely lunch alone. I saw a man do this once when I was dining with my brother and other family members. Both my brother and I, who were teenagers at the time, were awestruck by this this unique man who dined as if he had all the time in the world. He was a master at owning his space. He wasn’t checking his watch or devouring a novel. He was eating, slowly. He savored his wine and then sat back to better appreciate the quiet hubbub of the servers and guests on the patio; He was incredibly relaxed. Somehow, he was impressive and charming at the same time. I have never forgotten the impact this stranger made upon me. I was just out of high school, but this stranger changed me forever.
Although it was a bit more than just a smile, the men who attracted the attention of women did show some similar behaviors. First, like the women, these men also made more eye contact. In addition, though, they also showed more powerful and dominant body language. They took up space, moved around, and touched other men in playful and leading (non-sexual) ways. Essentially, the guys who looked at the women, joked around with other men, and were comfortable in their own space, got the women’s attention.
Varely-you were honest and upfront, and unfortunately not many guys can handle it. I think dating is hit or miss. Even if you have chemistry with a guy it doesn’t mean anything will come of the relationship. He might not be interested. It’s all about taking chances, and you did, so that’s a good thing. And since you’re not looking for anything serious (or even if you were) – I’d tell you the same thing – on to the next, and forget that guy! XO
Guys LOVE confident, independent women. Just remember not to be OVERLY independent or you’ll make him feel like he’s not needed. The trick is to find a balance between making your man feel needed without making him feel like you’re clinging to him.
Take a good look at yourself. Psychological studies have shown that people seek out partners to fill a psychological void. Sometimes these voids are unhealthy; for example a woman who is unhealthy will actually seek out any man for the “high of seduction” or to get attention and feel desirable. Look inside yourself and ask yourself why you want a man so badly, be truly honest with yourself, and, if need be, talk to a therapist about this. Someone with issues only attracts a guy with issues as well, and a good, real man doesn’t want anything to do with someone who has more issues than TIME magazine. If you want a good, healthy relationship with a real man, make certain that your own mental state and intentions are healthy.
2. Baseball Diamonds. Even if you know nothing about the game, you can still enjoy sitting outside on a summer night with a bag of peanuts and a hot dog. The beer line should be packed with fans; so get behind a cute one and ask him about his favorite team, advises a 39-year-old from Vancouver. Better yet, join a softball league — you’re sure to find a wide array of physically fit boys of summer.
Take care of your appearance. A woman who takes care of herself will attract men easier than one who doesn’t. Shower with nice-smelling bath products. Use a feminine scented deodorant. Brush your teeth well and always keep mints and gum on hand. If you talk to a guy and your breath is less than fresh, he’s not going to notice anything else about you. Keep your hair neat and clean and take pride in your looks. Use a perfume that smells sweet and sensual.
This is why the book had some good advice & was worth the read – the basic idea is how to communicate who you are, how you feel, and what you expect accurately & in a way that is understood by men. So it’s not about changing who you are so much as really communicating it more clearly. If you’re the kind of girl whose friends & family & co-workers wonder why you’re single because they think you’re the bees knees, but for someone reason men you meet/briefly date aren’t valuing you the same way, then this might be a helpful read. You’re probably not sending the signals which communicate who YOU are correctly; you’re leaving false & bad impressions. So the book is really about being MORE yourself with communication that others understand & which creates the desired effect.
Have a life. Desperate, dramatic, and clingy relationships are often rooted in a feeling of need and desperation for a man to fill your life. Even if you have low self-esteem, work over time to build it. Pursue your goals and be focused, explore your passions, have an interesting life, do things that take you outside your boundaries. Don’t put up a tough exterior to get over shyness; gradually learn to build trust with a network of people, so that your boyfriend isn’t the only person you open up to and share your life with. Also remember to trust yourself first. If you can’t trust yourself, you are likely to not trust your man.
The first step is to change our undesirable habits. We do this by reminding ourselves that we are being noticed, even if for a split second. Frankly, it matters that we emit a positive and interesting vibe. By developing an aura of natural confidence we are also more likely to weed out undesirable men. How so?
Men can detect that the office interaction is a little sour or frigid. How to become great, gorgeous and sweet, and use flirting, charisma and creating the setting, so that men might make passes at you at least once a day and have suitors in the office occasionally walking around you. Take care of your body with good nutrition, hygiene and exercise; why not? Use a beautician and fashion stylist to optimize your looks.
To me, it’s a numbers game. If you see a girl that you like, then go over and strike up a conversation, period. If she’s not into you, fine, you may feel stupid for a few mins, but atleast you went to bat. Better than watching her walk away and wondering if…
If you were wondering what attracts men to women, it’s actually quite easy, and once you master it, you’ll have no trouble. Whether he’s a shy guy, the outgoing socialite or the Harvard intellectual the same rule applies for every single one, so arm yourself with what we are about to tell you, and with the new gained knowledge you’ll be living happily ever after.
Lastly, I like a woman that knows how to move her body, no, not sexually speaking, I mean, yeah, that’s important, but that’s not what I mean. I like a woman who’s a bit of “action star” she likes to be active, likes dancing, someone who can’t sit still for too long. I’m like this, too, so it only makes sense to find someone who is of a similar cut of cloth in this sense.
I realize this may not be comfortable for you, but if you take baby steps and find a way to get truly comfortable “letting go” you will notice how much this turns a man on. Do what feels natural, not what you think you are “supposed to do.”