Español: conseguir un hombre (para hombres gay), Português: Conseguir um Homem (Para Gays), Italiano: Trovare un Uomo (per Uomini Gay), Deutsch: Als schwuler Mann einen Mann finden, 中文: 得到一个男人（同性恋者适用）, Français: rencontrer un homme quand on est gay, Nederlands: Een man vinden (als je homo bent), Bahasa Indonesia: Mendapatkan Pria (untuk Pria Gay), Tiếng Việt: Làm quen bạn trai (dành cho đồng tính nam), ไทย: หาผู้ชายสำหรับหนุ่มเกย์
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Women who are willing to hide or detach from their real selves in order to bag a man often seem to believe that the right guy will give them a sense of identity and self-confidence. This is backward. Looking for love before developing a strong sense of self is like trying to find the mate of a shoe you’ve never seen.
If she wants to talk for hours, tell your friends you’re busy tonight. Making yourself available to talk is a great way to show her you’re there for her. All though you’re not dating, she’ll be comforted knowing she has a person she can talk to. Obviously, it will take some time before she confides completely in you. Girls are naturally skeptical about trusting guys with the truth about themselves at first.
Thanks for commenting Bedbugabscond. You might start with stretching exercises. Perhaps once you get more flexibility, you will be able to keep your back and shoulders straight. Also, doing some exercise for the abdominal area is also helpful for the back muscles. Just start slow and work you way up, if needed. Good posture is really important in catching his attention, so don’t lose heart.
Im a successful middle age womean. Six years ago my husband cheated on me. It was devastating. After realizing I no longer loved him, I left the marriage. Now Im interested in dating. But its been a while since Ive dated (18 yrs). I just don’t know how to get the process started. Ive met a few men who seem interested then all of a sudden things go cold. I dont know what Im doing wrong. Do you have any suggestions for me?
“Social commentators tend to be extremists. They view the world as, one, men and women are identical, or two, we are different species. There is little sense of nuance,” says Elaine Hatfield now, looking back on why her findings produced such a strong response. “I think both men and women want love and sex. Some men pretend to be macho. But under the right conditions both men and women admit to being more complex than the stereotypes would have it.”
Her body language is closed. If her arms are crossed, she’s hunched over, her head is down, or her face is scowling, it’s hardly going to make me want to approach her. If you want to be approached, do your best to appear relaxed, open and inviting.
The key to most of these is that you are comfortable. If you are not comfortable then there is no point in doing any of these things. If you are, though, it will come off as extremely sexy. Being comfortable is sexy.
It’s a fact of life: men and human beings are visual creatures. There are certain things a man is going to respond to whether he wants to or not. I’m only giving you this information to help you… not to offend or be rude, so please
Be approachable to them — don’t make them think you like them. Take it easy and flirt a little. Or even maybe ask if he’s interested in boys. If he says no, move on. If he says yes, maybe even ask him on a date or kiss him.
Never leave, hang up, or sign off angry. One thing that happens a lot after the honeymoon period, is that you’ll notice little things your significant other does that bother you. Don’t call her out on them, it will cause a fight and you don’t want that.
In addition to being appreciated, men have an enormous need to feel respected. This is true of all humans, but usually this desire burns stronger in men. What I mean by respect, is she understands who he is and what he needs and gives him space to express himself without making demands on him and prioritizing herself over him.
Many women treat men in ways that diminish their egos, making them feel inadequate. Men would rather have more praise, more acknowledgment of what they do right, and more acknowledgment that they are great guys who are loved and appreciated. Women think men do not need them, and do not value their opinion, their support, or their praise. Women also think men do not care about many things that are important to women, which is why they criticize. Criticism can be a way to verbalize resentment.
After a few months, maybe casually bring it up. Always have a talk about it before trying ANYTHING. She’ll want to talk about it. Especially if she’s seen how you care for her, and would never use her for anything.
Secondly, I cannot tolerate woman who think they are the center of the universe. There is nothing wrong with being confident, and I find confidence very attractive AT THE RIGHT TIME, but what woman must understand is that men naturally want to lead. Woman who are too boisterous and opinionated really repulse me. There needs to be a good balance there too. My personal opinion and experience with girls that are overly loud, is that they are VERY insecure. It is a major turnoff.
Women who have their own hobbies, and goals: Men like women that have their own hobbies, lives, goals, and friends. They find it very attractive to hear you when you go on and on about your goals in life as they love women who have different interests in life that don’t involve you.
You can hit all the fine points of our age-old mating dance, but if you don’t pull away from the pack, then he might not ever go in for the approach due to the wall of your protective clan. Obviously, if you are alone you need not worry about this one, but if you and the girls or guy friends are out and you see a young buck checking you out, it might be time to take a stroll, which will invite him into your own personal space.
Get over emotional baggage from previous relationships. Carrying baggage over from previous relationships can harm your current one. Throw out old mementos, pictures, and items of your ex to help you get over them. Don’t make assumptions about all men because of your previous experiences and don’t think that you have an extraordinary intuition, especially when that intuition manifests negatively most of the time.
Oh, and about the non-smiling and arm crossing thing…mostly I do this when I’m not in my car and walking around L.A. by myself, so I’m guilty too. Comes from the days of selling postage meters door-to-door in Inglewood and Downey. People didn’t much care for automated postage, and let me know. Go figure.
Sure, men see themselves as superior, even though they are willing to give up a good amount of their day because they want to provide for their family/wife. Also, It is very abusive to give women flowers and chocolates, and pay for dates, and do chivalrous things. (before women didn’t want chivalry anymore) All men ask in return for doing all this is for a woman to show love, gratefulness, and nurturing. Yeah, that’s so selfish and abusive. Call the excessive love police.
Have you ever found yourself coming home from a tough day at work, only to find your husband sitting on the couch, watching TV, with nary a scrap of food in sight (let alone a scented bath drawn for you)? And instead of getting angry, have you then found yourself cooking dinner, folding a few loads of laundry, and picking up your kids’ toys—all while he finishes up his Monday Night Football viewing session?
But yeah, I agree — drop your hobbies. Go out to some bars/taverns after work once in a while, and sip on some super-light beer. Be more social in your work environment connect with others there, too.
Omg! omg! Can’t believe this! Evrythng worked on the first time itself! He was away for the weekend with his buddies n I was all alone! I gave him his space n happily talked to him when he returned, dressed cute for the evening n he’s dying to spend the next weekend with me! Never ever happened in 3 yrs! Thanks a ton!
Don’t be hasty. Lean in slowly and close your eyes. Go almost completely all the way to her lips, and wait for her to meet you there. Don’t go all the way, this might scare her off. Give her some room and time to make the decision. Go about 85-90% of the way.
I have been crazy about this older guy that I work with for years.First as a subordinate, now as a colleague. We have finally had an intimate moment that he called “something significant” however, we have not had sex. Problem is, I’ve been flirting, listening and being supportive as a friend but inside I’m going crazy with wanting him. He has recently broken up with a girlfriend and I know he is not ready for another relationship…last thing I want is to be the rebound girl. He has admitted that he is physically attracted to me and we have spoken about being lovers…only problem is, I don’t just want him in my bed, I want to be in his heart as well. I feel like I’m deceiving him because I told him I’m okay with just being lovers and that I will not expect any more than that. But he holds my heart already and I am dying not being able to show him how I really feel about him. As much as I want him physically, I want him to love me back as much as I love him. This is such a mess because I know that if I was to say no to being intimate with him now, I am making a liar of myself. Any advise?
For most people, dating is a process of trial and error. They learn the skills to socialize. They go out and meet people. They date a few folks (or more). Out of all that experience, good and bad, they find one who is attractive to them, compatible, and interested in them too! All of that takes work and effort.
The study of male sexuality really should have ended in 1989. That year psychologists Russell Clark and Elaine Hatfield reported the results of a social experiment conducted on the campus of Florida State University. For the study they recruited young women to approach male students at random and have a brief conversation. Average-looking women, mind you—”moderately attractive,” even “slightly unattractive”—in casual clothes. No supermodels; no stilettos; no bare midriffs. It was important that the young man remain coherent. The ladies all told their guy they’d seen him around campus. They said they found him very attractive. Then some asked their man on a date. Some asked him to come over that night. And some asked him, point blank, to go to bed.
Response: Honestly, it depends on the man. I personally can be pretty selfless in nature, this is because I don’t like to be ignorant. Being selfless is something that helps me in not being ignorant, so I find it to be a very good trait for others to have, being insecure can be a helpful thing and creating false confidence in yourself can be dangerous. It isn’t bad to have confidence and be secure in yourself when you are in a position that makes you feel like that, as long as you don’t let it all get to your head and you begin to undermind others. It is expected that people who aren’t secure in their knowledge of how others will respond to them will seek out how to elicit a response from others that they desire. That is how being insecure helps you find answers because you must understand that you don’t know everything, so you can’t be confident in yourself if you really don’t know what you must do.
► Composure: Men love nothing more than a woman who can handle situations calmly. No erratic behaviour. No cantankerousness. No yelling. No crazy stuff. I am not denying that some men are irrational. However, those irrational people are not attractive. When a person knows that they’re not always right and are willing to reason, the attractiveness quadruples.
“Write down all the traits of the type of person you have liked, are attracted to or have dated, and whittle it down to 10 qualities,” says Whitney Casey, author of The Man Plan. When picking guys in the new year, you can keep three of those 10 qualities—for the other seven, go for different types of traits. “Any time you’re on a date and you notice that there are more than three common traits from your list, you don’t give it another date. Stop right there.”
If you have trouble attracting men and getting a date, you may be unknowingly sending vibes that push men away. Men think differently than women, so you have to understand how the male psyche works …
If you want to attract anyone – wear red or pink, be confident and believe in the beauty that is you inside and out and think positive and smile. It’s that simple. Games only last so long. Go to places you normally would not go and take routes on the way home you would not normally take. Get out of a routine. Be brave, be fearless, don’t be afraid to try. You will have fun and discover more about yourself than you realize.
Learning how to be attractive to men doesn’t always involve rejection, women seem to believe that men will somehow reject them if they speak to them or attempt to ignite some attraction. But that couldn’t be further from the truth, men are more shocked that anything else – so use this to your advantage and start chatting to the guys you like, who knows you could find love in the strangest places.
I completely freaking agree. I’m so sick of that bullshit that ‘oh, Asian girls are so cute’, ‘every guy wants an Asian girl’, ‘all. They aren’t all cute. Some Asian b*tch kept trying to subtly get at my boyfriend, and he didn’t see what she was doing, but I did. She was fat and ugly as hell.
Since a lot of women ask me this question on a regular basis, I thought let me ask the men I know as to what attracts them to women. I asked my husband, my friends, brothers, and colleagues, and in a nutshell the below points are the ones that they largely mentioned.
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I always had a hard time figuring out what motivates a man to approach and hang around (besides a woman’s “hotness”, but I think there is more going on)…do we send out the wrong signals and not even know it? So, I’m pleased to share with you some expert thoughts on the subject…I knew I’d get some interesting feedback, and they did not disappoint.
There are guys putting this stuff in books and making lots of money, but their books are not nearly as entertaining nor do they have the ring of truth that you have managed to convey. As an older woman back in the dating scene, all I can say is thanks!!!
So there you have it, understanding how to attract men in any situation really comes down to not being so needy, so watch out for that. Incidentally, if you want to know more practical tips for getting his attention from the moment you see him, take a look at my post: How To Get A Guy To Notice You.
Asking for and expecting it from those around you is the first step. The more you do it, the stronger that irresistible energy becomes. People will start feeling it too and soon, you won’t even have to ask anymore.
It also rang true that we tend to attract someone when not interested in them because we’re being our authentic selves – so how do we replicate that comfortable inner state & natural outer state so we can be our best, authentic selves when interacting with someone we are attracted to? How can we communicate that quickly, when we may have a few hours, minutes, seconds even to inspire a guy to pursue us? This book gives basic tips on how to do that.
Smile: Dealmaker. If you ever find a guy out of your league, just flash a smile, he will respond. Every man responds to a genuine smile. And again, not looking for a Madhuri Dixit here. Just flash those gorgeous gems and see the magic!!
Dr. Pat Allen continues to note that humans have more white in their eyes than any other species, mainly since we use our eyes more for communication. In any event, play up that optic communicator, and pick an eyeliner that accentuates your lovely gaze.
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Men want women who are emotionally mature. Maturity does not mean lack of emotions. It does mean the ability to handle emotions responsibly. To attract a great man and build a long-term relationship, learn to take responsibility for your emotional experience and expression.
What an eye-opener, i hate it when men act desperate with me and yet when I like I guy sometimes I can act so desperate around them and its so true that its caused by panic, from now on all panic is banished!
Respected relationship expert Dr. Pat Allen suggests using red lipstick, since our 4-legged primate ancestors once attracted their male counterparts with their swollen vulvas. Now that we are on 2 legs, parts are, well… quite hidden, so evolution has passed the mating magnet to another pair of exposed lips.
So we males articulate our desires with the precision of a leaf-blower. That may not help our Match.com profiles, but it does support the legend of male complexity. Sociologist Rebecca Plante of Ithaca College says it’s a massive oversimplification to think that a man’s sexual desire is “as plain as the erection in his pants.” Plante has been leading part of a national, multi-campus, quantitative, and qualitative study of some 14,000 college students, organized by sociologist Paula England at Stanford, on the culture of hooking up. What Plante has found so far defies all simple expectations: While some guys do view sex and desire as one and the same, many others—even those in the early stages of a casual engagement—want someone they know and trust on a deeper level.