So in essence, your local “friend” isn’t that attractive, but he provides you with something you’ve been missing. He’s the Beta male, and your LD Boyfriend, with the help of the long-distance itself, was more Alpha. In an odd, indirect way, you were wanting the best of both worlds — much like a gal wanting the “bad boy” to an extent, but also wanting the Nice Guy who gives the feeling of giving more fulfillment.
Once you identify what kind of Man/fish you are looking for you need to figure out where that type tends to hang out. The good news is that men, like fish tend to have predictable habits and tend to congregate in the same, predictable locations.
There’s plenty of resources online about improving your sex life, so I’m not going to get into it here. All I’ll say is that loving sex and loving sex with him helps a relationship a lot, and is something that shouldn’t be ignored.
my relationship is ended near 5 months ago, and I am madly in love with my ex, we had so much good time together which made him so special to me..same sense of humor and every new things we had experiencing when we were together…he dumped me for stupid reasons like we need to focus on studying (we are both in collage), we need to forget everything, he was saying that we were just friends and nothing happened between us (he asked me to kiss him on 1st date, which it was too early for me to do so, so he kinda got upset at that), any ways, I really miss him not because he is ignoring me or so, I just want him back, I tired to msg him but it was just back fire,he just ignores and when he replies back its just harsh msg that he is so busy and so on…being honest with you I am kind girl.. never tired to break his heart or anything like that..I don’t know if he really misses me or wants me or he is just playing games on me…its so confusing and not right, people tell me he wasn’t nice guy, he was trash and so on, but still inside me I feel they are all wrong and he wasn’t that bad…I miss him so much, its just kinda of feels so bad when I think he doesn’t think about me even a bit and ignores me so much for no reason…hurts more than can be describe…
What guys find attractive about women is their positive spirit. This spirit manifests through your smile. Whether you have the perfect pearl white teeth or not it doesn’t matter, when you have an honest smile it radiates and attracts a man immediately.
You probably don’t realize it, but your advice here is the same as a toothpaste ad which has been running on tee-vee recently. It shows a youngish woman by herself at some beach-side patio cafe who spots a guy there she wants to meet. It shows her passively sitting there with her Cinderella Complex looking all wistful/dreamy, and with a vague smile on her face, while the voice-over says “First, you’ve got to get him to say Hello”.
It is still possible to make eye contact with women, without male friends. It is also possible to take up space, act in a relaxed manner, and have fun – even if you are alone. All of those things will still attract female attention.
If she wants to talk for hours, tell your friends you’re busy tonight. Making yourself available to talk is a great way to show her you’re there for her. All though you’re not dating, she’ll be comforted knowing she has a person she can talk to. Obviously, it will take some time before she confides completely in you. Girls are naturally skeptical about trusting guys with the truth about themselves at first.
Face: Ask a guy the definition of cuteness/beauty. I can guarantee there will be one face where you can’t find the ‘beauty’ word anywhere. But they still love that face, the spots, the freckles and every little imperfection on it. Maybe beautiful eyes, crooked nose or deep dimples. They can find something so weird in the face, so beautiful, it blows your mind.
None of this is earth-shattering, mind-blowing secrets that will give you some epiphany on love & life. Instead, it reads like common sense, the kind many of us missed the memo on, so that it’s not so “common” after all.
For those who would like to catch a man… It appears getting male attention is fairly straightforward. According to research by Gueguen (2008) a simple smile will greatly increase the likelihood that “Mr. Right” will come over and say hello to you. Gueguen (2008) asked a female assistant, rated as being of “average” attractiveness by male raters, to go to a local bar. She was then instructed to 1) either make eye contact and smile for two seconds at a man seated alone, or 2) make eye contact only, without smiling, at a man seated alone.
Get over your fear of rejection. The fear of rejection can be a powerful emotion that prevents you from putting yourself out there and finding a man. Rejection can cause someone physical and emotional pain, and past experiences may shape how you see your current relationships in a negative way. To reduce fears of rejection, make sure you aren’t investing too much emotionally into one moment. Another way to get over the fear of rejection is to desensitize yourself to it over time. That is, introduce yourself to many men and get used to rejection occasionally. Gradual exposure is a common treatment for people who have phobias or people with anxiety.
Jade….So very glad you found this article at this crucial time in your life. How kind of you to call it “brilliant.” I am flattered. But I hear you. I was used to plenty of attention as well. In my case, I started getting “older,” so I had to remind myself of all the things I had been doing differently than a fair amount of other ladies. The good news? Those things still work. Ha!
When the roles were reversed in the 1989 Clark-Hatfield study and men were doing the sexual offering, about half the women accepted the date. Very, very few agreed to come over that night. Not a single one agreed to go to bed. “You’ve got to be kidding,” was a common reply. “What is wrong with you?” was another. Some things haven’t changed much in the recent past, and aren’t likely to: In replications of the experiment, albeit on paper, researchers have consistently found that men are far more likely than women to accept the casual sexual offer.
It also makes him feel a much deeper connection to you. If you put in the time to find out why he’s so passionate about his favorite subject, he’ll feel like you get him as a person, on a deep deep level.
Take a good look at yourself. Psychological studies have shown that people seek out partners to fill a psychological void. Sometimes these voids are unhealthy; for example a woman who is unhealthy will actually seek out any man for the “high of seduction” or to get attention and feel desirable. Look inside yourself and ask yourself why you want a man so badly, be truly honest with yourself, and, if need be, talk to a therapist about this. Someone with issues only attracts a guy with issues as well, and a good, real man doesn’t want anything to do with someone who has more issues than TIME magazine. If you want a good, healthy relationship with a real man, make certain that your own mental state and intentions are healthy.
[…] For the male perspective on turn-ons and turn-offs, written by three of my favorite male dating bloggers (Jackie Summers, The Urban Dater, Jeffrey Platts and Fishy) see this collaborative post by Kelly Seal. […]
Dress to kill. Dress in clothes that make you feel sexy. You don’t have to look like a tramp, just keep in mind the styles that are attractive to men. Wear feminine clothing that accentuates your figure and hugs your body just right. Use the colors red or pink to your advantage; remember, men are visual.
I am well aware that there are always exceptions and different people like different things. But what I am going to take you through is some of the most common and universally true things that make a man feel attracted to you.
What attracts a man to a woman is a subjective question. It depends on many variables: race, age of the man, what era and which culture he belongs to. For example in some tribes in Africa (Mursi tribe in Ethiopia), the women wear large lip plate in their mouth to look more attractive!
“Matthew is a genius whose magic needs to be shared with the world. His incredible understanding of love and relationships makes him the absolute best love guru! This book is a necessary tool for anyone looking for love.” (Eva Longoria, actor/producer)
Girls who always think of things – I like girls who always make provisions. Girls who carry brollies (because there’s nothing worse than my hair getting wet), girls who keep tissues in their handbag, and girls who remember to remind me about their birthdays (and my mum’s).
On the other hand, that type of man is not entirely “worthless for everyone”. A woman of equal value may indeed like that type of male. Or, more specifically, they might be a balanced match for her (i.e. the best she can get herself). Again, that is why an honest self-assessment is necessary. Just as not all men can get a brilliant beauty, not all women can catch the eye of a well-muscled, CEO.
► Wit and humour: The ability to make another person laugh is a gift. That gift is indeed one of the most prized qualities in a woman that a man seeks. It fills him with happiness and energy. Being witty emphasises quick thinking capabilities, which in turn alludes to intelligence.
Respect yourself. If you say no, he should stop. If he doesn’t stop, leave. Don’t ever be uncomfortable saying no. Don’t go against your morals to try to keep a guy. If you feel this is necessary, then either he’s not a good man, or he is a good one but simply isn’t a good match for you specifically (e. g. he is currently “playing the field” and is up front and honest about it, but you’re looking for an exclusive relationship). Don’t be uncomfortable saying yes, either. If you feel the time is right, believe in your worth and don’t worry that you’re “giving yourself away.” You respect yourself and you’re confident that he’ll come back for more! A man who doesn’t respect you in the morning never properly respected you to begin with, and a man who doesn’t respect your wishes to wait is too impatient to make a good partner. Either way, find someone else.
A really good friend of mine is the more ‘agressive and dominant’ type, and I noticed that attractive guys were going after her. I was a bit envious at first, but then I found out they were just using her. There is this ONE guy who doesn’t have much testosterone, but he truly loves and cares about her.
Personality and a sense of humor are pretty huge to me and, I imagine, every Tom, Dick and Harriet out there. If a girl can make me laugh that’s really a great start. I also am drawn to women that have a personality that commands attention; you know she’s in a room, hard to ignore, the personality is warm and welcoming. She gets attention without really trying, to me, that’s incredibly sexy.
The way you ask the first question, it sounds like you are the one putting forth all the effort to make the relationship work. But cheating is ALWAYS the cheaters fault. A person CHOOSES to cheat. You can’t MAKE them cheat so no matter how bad the relationship was before, no matter how many arguments you may have gotten into, no matter whether he was drunk or not, HE still CHOSE to cheat.
I always wonder why some women walk down the pathway the wrong side (in the office or elsewhere, I notice that behaviour mostly from women), should a gentleman get out of her path Or make her move over to the other side? What do women think of men who let them have their way and those that don’t move over to accommodate them?
Unless you are going to keep all your hair (rarer these days but again this is a total individual preference and there are some guys who do like this so if there’s a man who you know likes this go for it). I would say in general, though, trimming at the very least is a good idea.
The media might lead you to believe that getting a man is all about the physical: what you wear, how you do your makeup, the right push-up bra, the right scent. These things will certainly help you attract a man, but will do little to keep him interested and invested.
Many girls are against the idea of being feminine or behaving in a cute manner. To a typical feminist, behaving in a demure or coy manner is a sign of weakness. And they can’t accept that a guy finds a cute *and dare, we say it… submissive* girl more attractive than a girl who likes to be a non-girlie girl.
Something I’ve learned, which I think is true for both men and women, is that there are two sides of attraction. The obvious, conventional attraction is that one has towards the masculinity/feminity of the opposite sex. However, the full spectrum of attraction & sexual/romantic fulfillment relates to ones own “self attraction” to their masculine/feminine sexual energies and how their partner brings those out. I’ve found that when it comes to turning a girl on, often it is equally important for me to make her feel beautiful, sexy, and seductive as it is for me to put effort into being the source of her attraction. Partly through compliments, but moreso through body queues that let her feed off my passion & attraction for her beauty & femininity, which stimulates her attraction towards her own sexuality. Both women & men are almost equally attracted to their own masculine/feminine sexual energies as they are to the opposite sexes. The naive may say, “A man being attracted to masculinity? That’s gay!”, but there’s a large difference between a man wanting to form a relationship & have sex with other men than being attracted to the way a woman makes him feel about his own masculinity & sexuality. Hence, why many enjoy having sex in a mirror or watching themselves on a porno vs having eyes on your partner alone.
Wanting what we cannot have is a common mental quirk that we all possess. Within the social influence research, this is called “Scarcity” (Cialdini, 2009). Essentially, we are all hard-wired to believe things that are difficult to obtain, or rare, are also valuable and desirable. However, this is not always the case. Sometimes the rare and expensive is truly valuable…other times it is just some junk a person put a high price tag on!
To me, it’s a numbers game. If you see a girl that you like, then go over and strike up a conversation, period. If she’s not into you, fine, you may feel stupid for a few mins, but atleast you went to bat. Better than watching her walk away and wondering if…