Drop the games. Nobody likes a partner who plays “head games”. This is deceptive, and will hurt anybody who trusts you. Be real, don’t play games, and good men will respect you and may even pursue you. Playing head games will only make good men run away. Remember the communication thing? That is especially true here. If you like a guy, don’t push him away and act like you don’t like him. Tell him. Yes, there are some men who do like the thrill of the chase, but all good men genuinely want to respect you and your wishes, and will leave you alone if you insist on it. Remember, men communicate directly; if you act like you don’t want him, he’ll think you don’t want him.
I really like the point about being self-aware. Pick the top 3 qualities that are important and allow that the rest may not match as well. I think if we move away from mentality of judging “does that person fit me” to cooperating “how can we make this work”, a lot of relationships can be saved and improve.
Joe Amoia, The Smarter Dating Guy, is the founder and creator of Smarter Dating For Women. For more information visit him online at www.SmarterDatingForWomen.com and while you’re there make sure to sign up for the FR*EE 5 day mini e-course: The 5 Biggest Mistakes Women Make in Dating
Find eligible men at gay bars. Do a search online and find the most popular gay bars in your area. Read reviews on each of the bars and choose an ambiance that best suits your personality. If you are the quiet type, a subdued, relaxed atmosphere would probably be the best fit for you. If you’re more of a party animal, look for dance clubs in your area.
1) Online Dating – whether you are for online dating or against it there is no denying that it everyone is doing it. In fact, the latest research reveals that of the 54 Million singles in the US, approximately 40 million have tried or are currently using online dating.
It does take time to find a partner. It also takes time to date them. So, if you are serious about finding someone, you should start building a bit of “dating time” into your schedule. When you are single, that time can be used to go to singles events, or more social hobbies, and meet new people. When you find someone to date, you can use that time to go out with them. Therefore, a big part of having a plan is “planning” the time out of your schedule for a love life.
Take one recent finding that runs entirely counter to popular wisdom. As the undisputed emotional champion of any relationship, women are supposed to profess their love first. But a group of researchers led by psychologist Joshua Ackerman of MIT found the axiom to be dead wrong. Their surveys of twenty- and thirtysomethings revealed that men say “I love you” first 60 to 70 percent of the time. They even thought about saying it a full six weeks before their mate did. It took about as much time for women to catch up to their men emotionally, in other words, as it took Hemingway to complete The Sun Also Rises.
Trust builds slowly over time. Once that trust is broken (especially when you get cheated on) it takes even longer to rebuild. Nothing will solve the situation short term. It’s going to take time for you to trust again.
Follow the Golden Rule. That means apply the same rules to yourself that you’d apply to others, including him. Real men do in fact notice this; they just don’t scream it out. For example, if he tells you he has a girlfriend and things are not working out, Stop! and think ladies and gentlemen that this could be a “test” on how you would handle the situation, so stand your ground and cut off communication (hint: “Golden Rule”). Second example: if you do want to try finding his ticklish spots, then don’t complain one bit if he tries finding yours in return. Don’t go on about how you “don’t NEED no man!” or about “men this, men that” if you don’t want him treating you the same way. DO, on the other hand, treat him–and others–with respect, dignity, and honor. Others will notice, too, and who knows–if they know you want a good, real man but don’t yet have one, they just might introduce you to one!
Oh, and about the non-smiling and arm crossing thing…mostly I do this when I’m not in my car and walking around L.A. by myself, so I’m guilty too. Comes from the days of selling postage meters door-to-door in Inglewood and Downey. People didn’t much care for automated postage, and let me know. Go figure.
First, like I said before – he starts to bond with you. He notices that you’re really listening to him and that you’re engaging with him about things that he cares about – and that draws him closer to you.
My children’s father and myself broke up 8 years ago and we have recently rekindled our love, however I am also dealing with the fact that he has another child which is pretty much why we broke up in the first place, I will admit him and I were 20 when we met and we hadn’t yet grown up I’ve learned alot through the years him and I were apart, I never thought we would ever feel anything for one another again, but we do…. I love that man so much but it’s very difficult for me to see him dealing with his other child’s mothe, I feel as though he’s hiding me from her because she doesn’t know about us, I want this man to be my husband when the time is right, sometimes I get confused and I wonder if he loves me the same, I know he does but I wonder how much! I’m trying to get the ring, I’ve been dealing with him for 10 years and I want him to pop the question! ??????? I don’t want to waste my time, what do u suggest??? My mind is beginning to wonder and I’m sensing myself going into survival mode, I don’t want to be that way even though he hurt me years ago, I want to keep the past behind and focus on getting my ring and the future, hopefully he is included in what I’ve always wanted!
Dr. Pat Allen continues to note that humans have more white in their eyes than any other species, mainly since we use our eyes more for communication. In any event, play up that optic communicator, and pick an eyeliner that accentuates your lovely gaze.
Response: DO NOT ASSUME ALL MEN ARE NATURAL GIVERS!!! That kind of mindset will screw you over when you’re in a relationship with someone who isn’t. You should be able to discern if your partner wants to meet your needs or if they could care less. Even then, some guys do the bare minimum to keep their partner content with their relationship so they can reap their own desired benefits with ease. Lack of communication with a partner will skew what they think about your condition. They could think you’re fine even though you are insinuating that you aren’t. Just discuss with your partner what you need clearly, if they happen to not comprehend what you’re saying then explain it a different way. If they are annoyed, well they are in the wrong for denying the fact that they must always take you into consideration. Regardless though, some grace must be given instead of flat out disappointment, try to help them understand the values of taking you into account.
I noticed that when you do hangout with your friends and laugh/joke around you do get a girls attention. For example, when I was at a track meet with my friends 2 girls came up to me and tapped me on the shoulder saying I was cute. Overall, I think girls like when a guy has alot of confidence and is comfortable in his setting.
You may think the root of this is about money, but it’s really linked to something much deeper. It’s about someone else’s limitations on what they think they cannot have—or do not deserve. It really is about how much you feel you are worth. It is about how much you feel you deserve.
She is smiling. Nothing is sexier than a woman who feels sufficiently good about herself to smile at the people she’s interacting with, whether it’s her friends, a baby or the waiter. Life is too short to be taken seriously.
The researchers were floored and expect the finding to prompt full “reconsideration of the role of physical affection and its meaning for each gender in longer-term relationships.” Says Julia Heiman, director of the Kinsey Institute and the study leader, “People really are so willing to accept stereotypes of male promiscuity and inability to commit. That is the problem with stereotyping: It tends not to be ‘men in their early 20s’; it tends to be ‘all men.’ It’s just that men are more complicated than that.”
Practice the Golden Rule. If you want him to do something, you should be equally willing to do it yourself. You want him to ask you out or take you out or do whatever else for you? You should be equally willing, and don’t wait for or expect him to do it first. Good men respect a person who applies the same rules to themself that they would apply to a man.
Bottom line, don’t fight biology. All my best girlfriends were very shy and feminine. I’ve tried to get shit going with feminist career girls, I don’t really fall in love with them though. I’d like to love a strong woman, and have a son run for president, but meh…
I have met many men who are looking for that brilliant, kind, accomplished size 4 when they are fat, unemployed (or underemployed),uneducated misogynists. In my dating profiles I have had to ask men not to contact me if they were deficient in employment, physical attributes, or wealth. Who are the women who like that sort of male?
Don’t hang out 1-on-1 with a guy “friend”, especially if you’re not that into him and he is into you. And even moreso if you have a boyfriend! It’s your yearning for attention & appreciation as an attractive, wanted woman that makes you feed off that.
Men can sense your vibe and you don’t have to say anything to make it come across; in fact, the less you “try” to “prove” what a good mood you are in and the more you focus on actually being in a good mood, the better off you will be.
If you are single and available you want to tell everyone you know and like that you are ready and looking for a great man. But make sure to tell them what kind of guy you are looking for. Otherwise they may set you up with their unemployed, neighbor who has commitment issues.
Thirdly, and I guess its part of being confident, is being organized. A man loves a girl who has things planned and ready. I won’t go into too much detail here, but generally a woman must all the bases covered and be punctual. If you are already living with a guy, make sure the house is well stocked with food and all the other stuff like shampoo, soap etc etc. Dinner must be on time. A man REALLY REALLY appreciates a woman who is on top of that sort of thing.
The male and female sexes still play games to win each other’s affection. Human males still like to woo a female through their display of brute strength, dexterity or their sheer awesomeness. And a man laden with male hormones wants a woman who’s graceful and feminine, because subconsciously, it makes him feel more like a man.
“It was interesting to see that it wasn’t all men who were conflating love with sex—it was just the short-term-oriented men,” says Ackerman. “There are different kinds of men and they mean different kinds of things when they’re communicating love.”
A quality man has no interest in a woman who slouches. He regards her as lazy, and if there is one thing men hate, it’s a lazy woman. It makes sense. Are you attracted to lazy men? Basically, if a man sees a woman whose body language seems to indicate that she doesn’t care about herself, he will be turned off within 2 seconds or less. So straighten those shoulders ladies; he is noticing more about you than you may realize. Again, it is imperative that you make those first seconds count in your favor.
A regular man who isn’t suffering from low testosterone would always find a feminine woman more attractive than a woman who thinks femininity is overrated and displays traits that are traditionally considered manly.
Who can listen: At the end of the day, men are human, and are social beings. We have our own insecurites, fears and thoughts. We need someone to lend us a ear, Pat on our back and say everything is going to be alright. We need someone who will listen to what we have to say, rather than who would keep on bitching or gossiping or talking about some stupid reality show.
Enlist one more super-close friend to be in charge of your online dating life: She answers your messages, picks out guys and sets you up to chat with them. Casey says to have your friend tell the guys, “She’s having a hard time picking the right guys for her, so my New Year’s present to her is that I’m going to be running her online life.” If you want to start fresh Casey says, “That’ll get you started in a great direction.”
Insecure men do not like engaging with women who actually like themselves. In a way, this is a good thing—you won’t have to bother with such men because your self confidence will threaten him. Thus, he will fade away into the background, where he belongs. Therefore, it is worthwhile to do some self-tweaking and fine tuning by noticing our habits, whether bad or good, so that we can pare down our habits to those which only give impressions that always work in our favor. The vibes you give out are crucial if your are to pique the interest of a quality man.
► Wit and humour: The ability to make another person laugh is a gift. That gift is indeed one of the most prized qualities in a woman that a man seeks. It fills him with happiness and energy. Being witty emphasises quick thinking capabilities, which in turn alludes to intelligence.
Be adaptable in any situation. Men want you to fit in at a fancy party, with beer and pizza on sports night and at a boring work function. And, he wants you to do it with ease and with no complaining. If you think that men fall in love with the “hard to get” women, think again. Not in today’s world. Today men really fall for easy-going gals who can go with the flow.
Don’t be clingy. This means, don’t show that you love this person by being near them all the time. They need their space and they need to know that you don’t need to follow them everywhere they go. Most of all, they need to know that you have your own life.
One single blog post can’t give you all the answers, but read to the end and you’ll be well on your way to knowing how to make a guy want you and how to get him to fall in love with you so he never wants to leave. By the end, you’ll have a better appreciation for and understanding of why a man does what he does and how you can use this knowledge to influence him to your advantage.
Control is really the key here: control of yourself and your reactions to others may sound simple, but it’s very difficult to master. Having high self-esteem and confidence – without over-stepping into arrogance! – is a very attractive trait to any man.